I
A country road in September 1973, about tea time, is where this tale begins.
There was nothing special about this road. About fifty three point six cars a day drove along it per day, on average, none of their occupants ever taking the sights in. Today was unusually quiet, as these days went. No cars, no vans, no bicycles.
Which was a shame really. After all, if there were passers by, they could have seen a time and space travel machine materialising on the edge of this road. But there weren't, and they didn't.
It was about nine feet tall, bright blue, and in fact looked just like a police box, the sort of which you didn't see very often anymore. Even less did you see them appear out of thin air, with a 'vworp vworp' noise reminiscent of trumpets.
Of course, you never, ever saw anyone in a brown pinstripe suit, dark grey shirt and dark red tie come out, either, but that's exactly what happened.
This man was the Doctor. And right at this moment, he was laughing.
"Oh yes!" he yelled. "I love the seventies!"
A man and a girl came out behind him. The girl was Eilidh, a welsh girl he had saved from a rather tricky situation in Cardiff involving fairies, his past self and a lot of temporal paradoxes the sort of which would make you want to go for an aspirin. The man was Captain Jack Harkness, who suffice to say didn't really ever need saving, except from himself in a bar.
"Woo –hoo, the seventies," Eilidh muttered. She was dressed in plan jeans and t-shirt, which, while not exactly period, were quite nondescript. "All of time and space he promises me and he gives me Bram Stoker, Vampires, Alien Rituals and now the seventies."
"Don't knock it!" Jack said, annoyed. He was, on the other hand, dressed in a black shirt with white pinstripes, and a seventies style stick-out collar, and a pair of suit trousers, complete with camel coat. "I liked this decade! Met a few nice people..."
"And shagged them?" Eilidh commented acidly. She and Jack didn't really... 'get on'.
"Now, now," the Doctor admonished. "Calm down, you two. We're all friends here."
"Whatever you say," Jack muttered under his breath.
"Anyway," the Doctor said, grinning broadly. "We have a decade to experience!"
"Well," Eilidh pointed out, "we're only going to experience this road, unless we hitchhike."
"Oh, no!" the Doctor countered, a smugness entering his broader-than-ever grin. "We're gonna travel in style!"
He took out his sonic screwdriver, aimed it at the TARDIS, and the vworping started again. A shape slowly materialised, and there, standing right in front of them, was a Ford Cortina, silver with black wheel coverings.
"A Cortina," Eilidh sighed, exasperated. "A bloody Ford Cortina. What is this, Life On Mars?"
"Fantastic, isn't it?!" the Doctor yelled excitedly. "And it's got a dimensionally transcendental fuel tank, there's fifty million gallons in there!"
"Cool," Jack whistled appreciatively. "I had one of these – have one of these – ah damn, I never get used to tenses in Time Travel."
"Neither do I," the Doctor sighed. "Anyway, shall we?"
He got in the front driver seat, and held the front passenger door open for Eilidh.
"You're sending me to the back seat?!" Jack protested.
"Yep," the Doctor said. "You've been here before, Eilidh hasn't."
"I've never been around here before," Jack protested, in a fake whiney voice.
"Jaaack," the Doctor said in a warning tone.
"Fine," Jack grumped, sticking his tongue out at Eilidh. She responded by making a rude gesture with her hand and smirking at him.
"Off we go!" yelled the oblivious Doctor. He pressed the tape button, and In the Summertime blared out, full volume.
The car revved, and they were off.
--
"#Sing along with us, de, de, de, de, de..."
The Doctor sang as loudly as a Time Lord can, tapping his finger against the wheel, all the windows open, the wind whistling through them.
"Do you actually know where we are?" Eilidh asked, doubt plain in her voice. "Or when?"
"Somewhere near Leeds, I think," the Doctor replied as the instrumental came in. "Or Sheffield."
"Who cares?!" yelled Jack from the back seat. "I'm on the back seat, and this is the best drive I've ever had!"
"Same here!" the Doctor shouted back. "This is great!"
Eilidh sighed. She was forever surrounded by testosterone fuelled males, and it got on her nerves. Still, what could she do...? The Doctor was alright, anyway, when he and Jack weren't having those 'boys own' moments.
They drove on, the Doctor putting every crap seventies song under the sun on. This got on Eilidh's nerves even more, and even she had thought that impossible.
"Are we going anywhere at all?" she asked, after she could bare no more Wizzard.
"Patience!" the Doctor chided in reply. "I know what I'm doing."
"Sure you do," Eilidh sighed under her breath. "And aliens are invading over this next hill."
"You never know," Jack commented.
The car drove on, eventually reaching the outskirts of a town.
"Oh, lovely," Eilidh said. "a suburban village. This is exactly what I came along for."
The Doctor ignored Eilidhs' sarcasm, and went into the post office. Eilidh sighed, and Jack tutted – she could be so self-centred, and rude, and...
He was interrupted in his thoughts, by a shudder in the ground. The Doctor ran out of the post office, a daily telegraph in his hands.
"The year's 1973, and what was that?!" he shouted.
Jack and Eilidh got back in the car, and the Doctor followed, ramming the accelerator. They drove a bit further up, and out of the village. The ground shuddered again.
"Doctor?" Jack asked. "What is that?"
"Something big," the Time Lord replied. "Something bad."
"This is going to be an alien invasion, isn't it?" Eilidh asked.
"Of course it's not," Jack said. "I don't remember –"
The Doctor slammed the brakes, and looked up. Jack and Eilidh's gazes followed his, and what they saw caused Jack to sit up, shock on his face, and Eilidh to gawp.
"Oh bloody typical," she muttered. "Bloody stinking typical."
A spaceship, triangular and squat, but absolutely huge, was hovering over the city below. Red beams of destruction were frying whole skyscrapers, and people were screaming faintly.
"So much for our holiday," the Doctor said. "This is not good."
"Who are they?" asked Jack, his voice quiet, and awestruck.
"If I'm not mistaken," the Doctor said, "I dare say that they're Zagrites."
Jack blanched.
"That isn't good, I take it?" Eilidh said, looking between the two men.
"Zagrites are a highly aggressive species," Jack explained, as if he was talking to an idiot. "They attack a world, conscript and enslave it's people, strip it's natural resources, and leave it a barren, uninhabited wasteland, which they then vaporise to clear the space ways."
"They aren't the toughest of the powers," the Doctor added, "but they'll take the planet in a few days at most. We have to stop them."
"How?" asked Eilidh.
The Doctor didn't reply, he just got out of the car.
"Jack," he said, without turning around, "take Eilidh, and try to help however you can."
"What are you going to do?" Jack queried, dreading the answer.
"This," the Doctor replied. He raised his sonic screwdriver, aimed it upwards, towards the ship, and a blue beam shot out of it. He then put it in his left trouser pocket.
Almost immediately, he vanished in a flash of yellow light.
"Doctor!" Jack yelled, stunned. "No!"
"Where did he go?" asked Eilidh.
"The Zagrite ship..." Jack replied. "He's gone to..."
"What?" Eilidh insisted. "What's he gone to do?"
"I have no idea..." the Captain said, and wished he did. Whatever the Doctor was doing, it had to be dangerous. Sounded like fun to him.