Of course I was shocked! How often does someone like Valentine randomly tell you to shut up 'cause they want to 'cherish' you? Often? Nope, I didn't think so. It's not like it's a normal thing to say to someone, you know? That's why I was so surprised. I didn't know what to make of it, or even really what to say next, but I struggled to force a question out anyway. Well, it was either that or an awkward silence...and I've got to say that awkward silences are never good. Ever.

"'C...c...cherish'? What do you mean 'cherish'?"

"To cherish something means to-..."

I had no choice but to stop him right there. Just how dumb did he think I was? Of course I know what 'cherish' means. That wasn't even my question, was it? His answer had been pretty irrelevent, --unless I had actually worded my question badly, then that's fair enough, I guess-- making it obvious that he was trying to dodge the question because he was hiding something. What would he be hiding, though. Gah...actually, don't even get me started on that. I guess as it's Valentine we're talking about, that question would take way too long to answer. He seems like the type of guy who goes out of his way to be mysterious, so we'd better let him have his privacy...but you get what I'm trying to say, right? Though I've gotta admit...the whole 'cherish' thing was beginning to feel just a little suspiscious. And it definitely wasn't just my imagination this time!

"I know what the word means! What do you mean?!

If you're going to insult the lion's intelligence, expect the claws...or something like that. I could see that he regretted the answer he'd given me, though, so I was hoping that he'd give a better, more informative answer this time.

"A good question. Though it is one that I am...unsure...of how to answer, I suppose."

Nice. Real nice, Valentine. He's so cruel...he'll keep me guessing until it drives me insane, won't he? I just know it. This wasn't fair at all! His answer sounded pretty lame to me, and I soon let him know that I wasn't buying his little 'I don't know' act. I wanted an answer, so I was going to get one whether he liked it or not!

"Then why did you say it if you didn't know what you meant?"

"Are you trying to suggest that you have never spoken without thinking?"

Ouch...really, just...ouch. He didn't have to say it like that...I felt like a real idiot after hearing that! 'You talk too much, Elena!' I remembered hearing the others say, and now I'd just been reminded of it all over again. A girl needs to talk, you know...? But I guess...I guess I did sound like a bit of a hypocrite just then. I, of all people should know how words can just kinda slip out without meaning anything, but no! No, no! I had to jump to conclusions, didn't I? 'Oooo cherish? That has to mean something!' I sicken myself sometimes. Really, I do. What was I honestly expecting? That he'd suddenly blurt out some meaningful speech about how much he loved me? Hahaha...as if. As if I'd want that from him. As if anyone would ever do that for a Turk. Right? I'm so stupid...and I'd never been as aware of that fact as I was right now. Well, even so, it was my turn to look away in embarrassment now, and I felt my lips curve down into a small frown as my eyes stung with tears of self-pity. I fought them down, though. I'd gotten used to having to surpress my tears. Waiting for only a minute or so longer, I suddenly felt aware of how exposed I was to him right now. I must've looked ridiculous...

I reached for my shirt, only to have a strong hand grasp my left wrist. It was all I could do not to hit him! He'd just treated my injuries! He knew that my left arm was the injured one! I'd never thought of Valentine as one to purposefully hurt someone for what seemed like no reason. Maybe he was punishing me for my stupidity? Nah...he wouldn't do it in such a harsh way, though, would he? That's what I thought. Then again, what did I know?

"What?!" I heard myself rudely demand as I found myself glaring at him. I knew that it wasn't really him that I was mad at...it was me. I was pissed off with myself...how couldn't I be? I was getting so frustrated being the useless, stupid woman that I was...and I felt so awful for taking that anger out on him. I was surprised he hadn't just pushed me away by now. Hell, I know I would've. But then...that was who I was. That was me. Thinking of myself as that girl...her...that made me so angry. That was why I was sitting there so impatiently and angrily. It was nothing to do with Valentine, really. The only thing he'd done wrong --besides answer my questions badly-- was speak to me in the first place.

I heard myself sigh as I watched my free hand dart forwards to grab his cape. Yeah, I couldn't control it anymore. The brattiness, the anger, and all that. I felt it inside me, welling up in there and just waiting to erupt like some kind of freakish volcano, but I couldn't calm it. The only way to get rid of my anger is to let it out in some way, and I guess that's what I was trying to do by getting stressed with Valentine. I felt him watching me as I struggled to try and put his cape on single handedly. Well, that was decent of him, wasn't it?! Jeez...well, anyway...I kept trying, but the cape kept falling away from my shoulders. I was right. His costume really was as inconvenient as it was extravagant. How the hell did he cope with all these buckles and clasps, and all the other ridiculous stuff he had hanging off his clothes? It was nothing but confusing to me!

The cape slipped away from my shoulders, and fell to the bed with a soft thump. I gave up...everything wouldn't stop going wrong. Everything had been good enough until I came to the Nibel area with the other Turks! This place was cursed...it had to be! How else would you explain all that had happened?! Id lost the other Turks, met Valentine (and had been more confused ever since, as a result), ran into a bunch of psychopaths, found out that the other Turks could all be dead by now, found out that I was probably gonna die, too (though that didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore) and now I couldn't even do up a fucking cape! That was it. I'd had enough. Snarling, I pulled my arm from his grip, feeling another pang of self-loathing as I heard myself whimper in pain. And now, the icing on the cake. The last crumb of the cookie. However pathetic I seemed in that moment was summarised nicely with a simple sob of:

"W..w...why won't anything ever go right?!"

There you have it. An eruption of weakness, anger and frustration in the form of some pathetic tears! Come on, then: go ahead and mock me. Laugh. I know you want to. My mind was mocking me, and I know that Reno...Reno probably would've...

"What do you mean?" That dark, strange voice questioned of me. Well, now it was my turn to give him a lame answer. I just shook my head, not really wanting to say anything. It would've taken way too long to explain even if I'd wanted to!

I was a mess. My lip was bleeding because I'd bitten it, and my eyes were tightly shut so that I wouldn't have to look at Valentine. My arms were both wrapped around me so that he wouldn't look at me anymore. Then again, by now he'd probably looked away in disgust. (I couldn't tell for sure because eyes were shut, and in a way I was scared to open them.) 'And she calls herself a Turk?' That was probably what he was thinking. I know it was what I was thinking.

Almost all those negative thoughts disappeared when I felt something large, strong and warm against my right shoulder, though. I felt myself being pushed forwards, and I came into contact with what I knew what his chest. I recognised the feeling from when he'd held me before. Only hand ran it's fingers through my hair, the other was pressed firmly against my back, his arms wrapped around me. I liked this, I guess, but it didn't stop me from feeling stupid for acting in the way I was. I was trying to calm myself down and regain my cool, or at least force myself to stop trembling! Well, it took some trying but I managed to tense myself up, letting my shaking become a bit less obvious.

"...Elena...?"

He sounded unsure. Almost like he had to check that it was really me who was crying in his arms. Just when I thought my frustration had been released through tears, I surprised myself (and him, judging from his reaction, I guess I'd kinda surprised him, too.) by letting out just one more angered statement:

"I know! I already know I'm weak, ok?! I know!!"

"Shhh...no, no...that's not it..." I heard him murmur comfortingly, and I moved my head to look up at him. Maybe if I looked at his face, I might start to feel better.

That was when it happened. Just as I looked up at him, our lips collided, and I felt my body freeze, my eyes widen. My anger and sadness just completely washed away after that. Whether accidental or intentional, (his lips hadn't moved, and he looked kind of surprised, like he'd accidentally fallen on my lips, or something.) I felt like I really didn't care. A kiss is a kiss, right? Eventually, I got over the shock of it all, and was able to move again. I was planning to pull away and ask what the hell was happening, but instead, I felt my hand slide up his back over his soft skin, and travel amongst that long, thick dark hair. Whilst I was doing this, my lips were pressed against his and were gently returning that kiss. He deepened it, pressing harder against my mouth and holding me close, his breathing heavier as his hands travelled swiftly and gently up and down my body, through my hair, to my waist, never stopping their movement for even a second. His tongue carressed my lips, wanting entry, and I allowed it. I guess I wasn't completely sure of what I was doing, 'cause this entire thing felt like some kind of daydream. I then felt his tongue stroking against mine, pushing against . I felt his weight against me, forcing and gently lowering me down to the bed, and then he pulled away, panting. His arms either side of me, he gazed down at me, making me feel a little uneasy. So...I guess he had been hiding something, then.

"F...finished?"

"Of course not..." he growled softly, a smirk coming to his lips. That smirk looked like he was planning something, and it seemed like it didn't really belong on those lips that had seemed so gentle, careful but..powerful, too just moments before. "So...shall we continue?" he questioned, leaning down against me again. Did I want his kisses? Well, if I didn't I guess I would've fought back and tried to stop him, but I didn't. I let him carry on, and I even returned those kisses with everything I had! Why? What about Tseng? Haha...What about Tseng? He'd had his chance, right? If he wanted to keep chasing after the heart of that dead flower girl, then let him! What was I saying...? I loved Tseng...didn't I...?

I didn't...not anymore. Maybe it was Valentine's hypnotising caresses that had changed my mind, but I liked the warm, wet feeling on my skin as he dragged his tongue down my cheek, and as he gently sucked my neck...as he reached behind my back to unhook my-..WHAT?!

With a quick gasp and a whimper, I grabbed his arms, trying to get him to stop. Looks like he was just as surprised as I was. Those crimson eyes were wide as they stared into mine.

"Elena, I...I'm...I'm so-..."

"Wait! Just wait. Why? W-..why are you...?"

"There's something I need to be sure of...and asking myself confusing questions is solving nothing. The only way I'll ever put my mind at rest is to just...do it. I apologise. I hadn't wanted to force you into this...nor did I wish to make you feel uncomfortable...but I suppose it's too late to be saying that...In any case...this isn't the way in which this should be done. I must seem selfish. I'm sorry."

So he'd been getting weird thoughts too, huh? Maybe not about the same kinda thing as me, but I guess I understood what he meant. Asking confusing questions led to nothing but more questions, but no answers. You had to find the answers yourself. I think...I think I may have already found a few...and that's how I understood. What if he didn't find what he wanted, though? What if he (like Tseng had already done) grabbed my heart, then gave it back after stabbing it a few hundred times? Where would that leave me? Then again...what if he did find what he liked? I...I don't know...

Maybe I was being selfish. I had to stop with the whole 'I like him, so he's mine!' thing. (or in this case: 'he kissed me, so he's mine!') As much as it hurt to say so...no-one was ever gonna be mine no matter how much I wished or begged for it, no matter how much I cried about it. I'm a Turk. Turks don't have successful loves. It's just the way it goes. Our job doesn't allow it. This experience would probably only give me something nice to remember when I'm alone. Anyway, chances were that I was gonna die soon because of that anti-ShinRa guy. I might as well help Valentine out while I was there...he'd helped me out too much already, so I guess this was a kind of...repayment. He didn't want to get his answers because he was too busy thinking about me. Nah, it was time for me to start putting him first for a change.

"You know what, Valentine? Do it. Do it and find your answers...ok?"

"W-..."

"You heard me."

He stared at me as though I'd just asked him to shoot a puppy or something awful.

"What? You don't want those answers, Valentine?"

"No. Not like this."