Chapter 3: I Have Waited Forever told from Edward's point of view

The evening had started out pleasantly enough in our cool, white living room. Bella's warm, beautiful body was nestled by my side on the sofa, munching on popcorn that was about as appealing as Styrofoam pellets to me but which she found essential for movie night. I was happy to see her eat anything; she needed to keep her strength up.

Alice had practically driven her to distraction with a thousand questions about what she wanted for the wedding, and she claimed to have lost her appetite. I had a horror of her losing weight again the way she had when I had so stupidly gone into my self-imposed exile. She was always so busy doing something for Charlie or some member of my family she often forgot to eat.

I knew she was already feeling guilty about the brief amount of time she had left to spend with Charlie before the wedding and I was afraid this too was having an effect on her appetite. I now made an extra effort to see that she got regular meals.

I had to admit, the way she catered to Alice's whims was adorable. She made Alice so happy. She made me so happy. She was like the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt like I had been alone in the darkness for so long, no wonder I clung to her like a lifeline. I had come so close to losing her before, now that our wedding day was finally looming I grew more and more apprehensive every day.

I could not shake the feeling that at any moment some new disaster would befall us. I had taken to going on short hunting trips and leaving her under Alice's watchful eye. I knew Alice would gladly rip out the throat of a wayward werewolf for her if necessary, or do whatever was needed to protect her and I felt it would be safer for me to make sure my thirst was quenched. I didn't want any slip ups on my part to mar the happiness we had been able to share over the upcoming wedding.

Bella was being so sweet and understanding with Esme. With her own mother in Florida, Bella was coming to Esme with concerns and questions about the wedding and that was bringing so much joy to Esme she was almost glowing in the dark. I wanted to sweep Bella into my arms and cover her with kisses every time I saw her trying to make everyone else happy.

This movie night was just another example of her generous spirit. She let Alice choose the film and I had been concentrating on Bella so much that I had not noticed the title until the film started. I felt like stopping it before it even got past the credits but I could tell Bella was already getting engrossed in it.

I shot Alice an evil glance but she was trying to ignore me. I decided to get into the spirit of the film by telling her in French exactly what I thought of her choice. I knew Bella would be upset before the movie was over and asked Alice what she had been thinking when she chose this.

She replied, also in French, that it was good to broaden Bella's view of the world and she wouldn't have chosen something Bella couldn't handle.

I did not think this choice was about broadening Bella's view of the world. This was another one of those stupid Romeo and Juliet type of stories where the girl and boy got separated and mostly through family interference, were not allowed to come back together. They were both unhappy, just to varying degrees.

And there were children involved. I was afraid this would remind her that she and I would never be able to have children. She did not need to be reminded of this. I hissed at Alice again.

Just stop it, Edward. She is an adult now and you can't protect her from everything. Besides, she doesn't want children. She only wants you. And this movie will only reinforce for her that she had made the right decision. Everything for her is about you. Now be quiet and let her have a good cry. It's a stress reliever for her.

I listened to what Alice was thinking and tried to settle down and just observe Bella. Maybe she was right. Bella did seem to take pleasure in the most tragic stories. Sometimes I thought the way she watched Romeo and Juliet she seemed to expect that it was going to have a happy ending.

She was an eternal optimist. The perfect foil to my eternal pessimist. If her glass was half full mine was more than half empty, and it had some fungus growing in it. What had she ever seen in me? She had no gene for self-preservation, that much was clear. Whereas I could not be destroyed. Well, it was possible, but not bloody likely. I had to chuckle at my own joke.

As a particularly sad part of the movie unfolded and I saw Bella's eyes cloud over. She bit down on her bottom lip and I longed for the day when I could do the same. And then the tears started to fall. Bella was still clutching her almost empty bowl of popcorn but I gently pried it out of her grasp and held her closer to me, kissing her tears away until she was soothed.

I hated to see her cry, but I was fascinated by her tears. Sometimes I thought they would never stop, and that was very frightening. She had recently cried over that dog almost all night and I had been so worried about her I had very nearly summoned Carlisle.

But she had surprised me once again; she was so strong for someone so human. I would never cease to find her intriguing. She had totally captivated me. And soon she would be my wife. To have and to hold, forever. And I knew exactly what forever meant, even if she didn't.

This idea both thrilled and terrified me. I wanted to be her husband more than anything. Every night after she fell asleep in my arms I would let myself dream about the day in the not too distant future when we would be joined together as man and wife for all eternity.

But even those dreams would make me sad because I knew in the end, I would have to change her and make her one of us. A monster. And I could not stand to think of her like that. She would be paying for my happiness with her life. How could I do this to her?

She was so innocent, even after all the things she had been through, all the things she had to endure because of me, her spirit was still so pure. She was so brave and so selfless. From the very first day of her association with me her days had been numbered. And now they would be coming to an end. So she could begin a new existence with me. And I was powerless to stop it. Me, the all-powerful, all-knowing Edward.

It was all my fault and even if I wanted to stop it at this point I could not. And I did not want to stop the wedding. I was selfish after all, and I was going to claim my human prize. The goddess I would worship and adore forever. I did not deserve her but I would do everything possible to make her happy.

Would this movie ever end? This film was a bad choice, but it was just one of many Alice could have chosen. This mystified me. Annoyed, I said, "Am I the only one who finds it strange that most of these famous love stories have unhappy endings?"

"What are you thinking of besides Romeo and Juliet?" Bella inquired, her eyes never leaving the screen. It was a testament to her intelligence that she could read the subtitles and follow our conversation at the same time.

"Tristan and Isolde, Arthur and Guinevere, Heathcliff and Cathy, Lara and Zhivago, even Robin and Marion." I could have gone on all night. Why were these tragic couples so popular? Did they appeal to the cruel nature of human beings? Why were happy couples not celebrated?

"Would you rather I had chosen one of those films?" Alice interjected.

"No thank you, dear sister. You have already been too helpful." I knew she would understand my meaning.

"You forgot Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett," Alice taunted.

"I would hardly call the demon barber of Fleet Street a great love story. Really, you are too bizarre." I quickly added in French, "And you are skating on thin ice, Alice. If Bella cries again I will not be responsible for anything I do to you." I was grateful Bella had taken to ignoring our foreign language conversations.

Alice replied with her thoughts. Don't even bother trying to threaten me, brother dear. You need to let Bella feel all her feelings. Trying to stifle them will not be helpful in the long run. Trust me. She's just stressed by all the wedding planning. Remember, she's still only human.

I scowled at her but secretly wondered if she was right. I didn't want to stifle any of Bella's feelings, but she had been crying so much lately it had me worried. It wasn't normal. At least, I didn't think it was normal, but not having any previous experience with a human teenage girl, I could not be sure. And Bella was not any where near average, anyway. Her falling in love with me proved that.

In French I said, "Listen to me Alice, if planning this wedding is too much for her perhaps we should scale it back."

It's not the scale that's the problem. Even if we were only inviting six people she would still have to choose colors and make decisions about the cake. It's normal for her to be like this now. Getting married is a huge step, at any age, and you know with her mother's negative views clouding her judgment, it's just a difficult time for her. But she wants to marry you; just relax and let her get through it as best she can. If that involves some tears, so be it. Have you forgotten what I was like before Jasper and I tied the knot?

I remembered the weeks leading up to Alice and Jasper's wedding, and recalled how I had felt it necessary to threaten Jasper with total destruction in order to ensure Alice's happiness. I had meant it, too. I would have torn him from limb to limb and struck the match if he had made my little sister unhappy again.

I was lucky no one had done that to me when I foolishly left Bella in the woods. No, my family had been much more tolerant of my mistake; they had argued but ultimately left me alone.

Maybe Alice was right. All weddings were stressful. And the mere idea of Bella getting married so young was enough to put her off her food. I wondered how much of the stress she was feeling was about the wedding and how much was about what would come afterwards. And perhaps she was having doubts about the whole thing. That was a frightening thought; my worst nightmare, in fact.

Continuing our conversation in French I said, "Alice, while I'm gone I don't want you to pester Bella with wedding details; she needs a break and it begins right now. All that can wait until we get back from our trip. Do you understand?"

"Edward, I still have to go over—"

"No! Not another question about it with her. I'm putting my foot down. Is that clear?"

Alright! Calm down. I won't ask her anything about the wedding 'til you get back from your trip. But I'm telling you her reaction to planning the wedding is completely normal. Men just don't seem to understand. It's the most important day of her life. It's natural for her to be nervous about it. But I've seen the wedding and it's going to be beautiful. She is totally committed to you Edward. She wants to be with you more than anything. You need to relax. I think you need this trip more than she does.

I wanted to believe her, but it was difficult. I was asking Bella to be with me forever, to take on my 'lifestyle,' give up her family and friends, every part of her life up to this point. And become a monster, like me. I knew I couldn't give her up, but she was the one who had to make the sacrifice and I hated to see her do it.

As the dreadful film was drawing to a close Bella looked deep in thought. I sighed in frustration, wondering what she was thinking about and knowing I had no way of telling unless she volunteered the information I was so desperately curious about. I decided to take my frustration out on Alice, since I was still annoyed with her.

"Wonderful choice of films, Alice." I knew she understood my sarcasm. "Next time we will let Bella choose the movie."

"No, Edward, it's okay. I liked it." Bella was always so sweet, not wanting anyone's feelings to be hurt.

"She needs to see more than Disney movies, Edward. You can't treat her like a child forever," Alice rubbed it in.

"You are being absurd, Alice. I do not treat her like a child." I would have a few more choice words for her when I returned from taking Bella home to leave on my hunting trip.

"Hey guys, I'm right here," Bella said softly. "I thought the movie was sad, but I did like it. The music was lovely, and so were the colors. Not all movies have to have a happy ending. But sometimes we can learn something from them."

I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and ran my fingers through her silky hair. I wished that somehow by touching her I might be able to read her thoughts, but so far this had not helped. It usually increased her heartbeat, though. It thrilled me to know I had that effect on her. But she was so delicate. I sometimes worried that her heart was not up to everything she had to go through because of me. I was going to be the death of her, one way or the other.

"What did you learn from that, Bella?" Now was my chance to find out what she had been thinking. I hung on her every word.

"Just that the decisions you make when you're young can affect your whole life. So you need to be sure when you make a choice that it's the right choice. And stick with it."

Exactly what did she mean by that? Was she having second thoughts? At this late date? Even when she came right out and told me what she was thinking I did not understand how her mind worked. I gave Alice the death stare but she wasn't nearly as frightened as she should have been.

"You should relax, Edward, she still loves you," Alice said, moving off the sofa and toward the stairs. And isn't that all you really care about? "I'm going to leave the two of you alone while I get online and check out the flower market in Amsterdam."

She was making a bigger deal out of this wedding than she had her own. It would have been funny if she weren't so serious about it.

"She's right Edward. I still love you. But that was never in doubt."

I could have kissed her senseless right then and there. I wanted to. But I had to control those urges. And I wanted to believe her words, but it was difficult now, since I did have doubt. That mutt had bombarded me with images of the two of them that planted a seed of doubt in my mind. At first I had ignored it, but with the way she had been acting the past few days, losing weight and being so emotional over everything, it was not like her.

Was she regretting her decision to get married? Had the reality of what she was committing to finally hit her? Was she looking for a way out but didn't want to hurt me? This weekend I would have her all to myself and I could find out what was really bothering her.

I had been putting it off but her emotional state worried me and I needed to find out exactly what the problem was, and fix it if I could. I wouldn't let her throw her life away if she had any doubt about being with me at all.

"I hate to see you cry, especially over a silly film. Alice should have chosen a comedy or let you choose." I brought her palm to my lips, quickly inhaled her delicious scent and then pressed a kiss into her warm flesh.Indescribable.

"Well, I think the point is to expose me to films I wouldn't ordinarily see. Didn't you at least like the music?"

Was she trying to distract me? Silly Bella; I was not so easily distracted. "Some of it. But nothing that makes you cry."

"Could you play that 'I will wait forever' song on the piano for me? It reminds me of us because I would wait forever for you."

I could refuse her nothing. "I have waited forever for you. And I would wait a thousand summers if I needed to." Sometimes she was so irresistible I just had to give in to my urges.

I leaned toward her and looked into the depths of her beautiful brown eyes. I loved getting lost in those dazzling eyes. If she only knew what she did to me. I just had to get one kiss before I went to the piano to fulfill her request.

I closed the short distance between her tempting mouth and mine, kissing her softly on the lips, reveling in her body as she pressed it against mine. I felt a jolt of electricity when her warm, pink lips met mine. Sparks went shooting through my cold, hard body. She always had this effect on me. I felt alive again. No, I had never felt this good when I was alive. I ran my hand from her shoulder down her arm and to the tips of her fingers. I loved the feeling of her soft skin and I hated to lose contact with her for even a moment.

But she wanted to hear me play and I wanted above all to please her. I sat down at the piano and began to play the love theme from the movie. I poured all the emotions Bella stirred inside me into the music. Love, tenderness, longing, passion. When I finished with that song I thought of another piece of music that reminded me of her so I began to play it. It was from one of my favorite films, a story I could strongly identify with.

I was almost finished with the piece when I heard Bella say, "Did you write that, Edward?"

"No, do you like it?"

"Yes, it's so sad."

"I thought you would like it. It's from a film score by Michael Nyman. The movie was Gattaca. Have you seen it?"

"No. Gattaca? What's it about?"

"We have it on DVD if you would like to see it. Technically it's science fiction, but it's actually a much more romantic film than the one we just watched." Almost anything would be, I thought. I was hoping she would show some interest in seeing it, as perhaps it would take her mind of that dreadful Umbrellas movie.

"Oh yes, let's watch it now, please." She sounded like she couldn't wait. I was pleased. Finally a movie I would enjoy seeing. I always enjoyed watching her while she watched these pseudo romantic movies but sometimes they did get to be a bit much. And this was the last time I let Alice suggest a film. She had just lost her cinema privileges.

I located the DVD, put it in the player and returned to the sofa with Bella. It was so much nicer with just the two of us. I was looking forward to our upcoming weekend trip when I would have her all to myself for three days. Every moment with her was special. I took nothing for granted where she was concerned.

She pulled a pillow from the other end of the sofa and put it in my lap so she could lie down and rest on me. This was a good position for me because I could easily smell the delicious fragrance rising from her hair and I had a good view of her creamy white neck. To distract myself from dwelling too much on the proximity of that tempting neck I absentmindedly played with her silky hair.

I was pleased to see she was enjoying this film. It was romantic on many levels, but it wasn't going to have a happy fairy tale ending. I was curious to see how she would react to that.

I pointed out that parts of the movie were filmed in a Frank Lloyd Wright building in Marin County, California. Only I knew the significance of this information, but she would soon find out.

I had loved the music in this movie from the moment I heard it. It perfectly underscored the emotions of the main character, a man who must avoid arousing suspicion while passing tests, evading the police, and not knowing whom he can trust. And then he meets a girl and falls in love. He trusts her with the secret of his identity. A secret that if exposed could get him killed. Even a small child could see the parallels between the main character's situation and my own.

Bella's reactions did not let me down. She was totally captivated by the story and characters. Unfortunately, when one of them died she started to sob. I knew she was enjoying it so I didn't try to stop her. After a bit I said, "Are you going to make me regret showing you this movie?"

"No," she protested, "I really liked it. It was beautiful and so sad." She tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes. "And it wasn't just about family interfering or stupid misunderstandings. I can see why you like it. It brings up so many questions. It was truly heartbreaking… the choices they had to make. I think this was sadder than Romeo and Juliet."

"That surprises me. In what way?"

"Well, she loves him, and does everything she can to help him achieve his dream, and then he leaves her."

Of course that would be the part of the film that made the biggest impression on her. I knew she was thinking about the time I had abandoned her. Did everything lead back to the most stupid decision of my life? Would I go on paying for that mistake until the end of time? Could I ever make it up to her?

"Yes, but he was honest with her. She knew that was going to happen. She even helped to make it happen."

"That's true. I guess, given his situation, it had to happen that way. But it's still very sad," she said thoughtfully.

I vowed that she would never suffer again because of my stupidity. But how to make her understand that sometimes pain was unavoidable? "He gave her what he could of his heart. She knew he was going to leave."

"I know; I guess it had the best ending it could, taking everything into consideration. At least he achieved his dream. And the music was so romantic. Can you play some more for me?"

"I could, but it will cost you." Maybe I could distract her from this romantic movie nonsense.

Her eyes flashed at me. She appeared to take the bait. The game was on.

"What's the price?" she challenged.

"How badly do you want to hear me play?" I hadn't figured out a price and needed to buy some time.

"My desire is lessening by the moment," she replied with some spirit, tossing her head. That was a good sign; I liked it when she was feisty.

"Bella, you are going to hurt my feelings." I tried to look appropriately sad.

"I'm waiting to hear a price." She sounded like she meant business.

"Let me see. How about if you agree to…"

"Stop." She interrupted me. "I've changed my mind. If you don't want to play, that's fine with me. I'm not agreeing to anything now. The moment has passed."

She was being tougher than usual. I hadn't counted on this development.

"My, my, you are growing impatient."

"I'm just not into making deals tonight. Especially after the way you and Alice spoke French all through the first movie. You know that's rude, don't you?"

She had noticed all our conversation. I had thought she was busy reading the subtitles. She was better at multi-tasking than I gave her credit for. I better apologize and quickly before this got out of hand.

"I am sorry. Did I spoil the movie for you?"

"No, not spoil, precisely." Oh, good. She wasn't really mad; she just wanted to tease me.

I leaned over and kissed the tip of her delicate pink nose before I went back to the piano to comply with her original request. I wouldn't make her pay any silly price. I briefly wondered how well I could play the piano with her sitting in my lap. Scratch that idea; I wouldn't get beyond the first eight bars, if that far.

"It would be my pleasure to play for you." I sat down and started to play.

Bella looked to be lost in thought as I played the score. Again I poured out the passion I felt for her and she seemed to respond with a variety of emotions visible on her expressive face. If only I knew exactly what she was thinking.

She shivered and when I saw her yawn I knew it was time to take her back to Charlie's. Her all too human body craved sleep. I thought with pleasure of the day in the near future when I wouldn't have to take her back to Charlie's but even that was tinged with sadness, because soon she would never be able to sleep again. I hoped I would be able to fill all the days and nights with activities that assured her happiness.

I finished the last notes of the score and Bella said, "Thank you, Edward. That was beautiful. Now I will do whatever you want without bargaining. Just name it."

My angel was back. I decided to steer the conversation down a familiar path.

"That's a dangerous offer. You must really trust me."

"I do."

I had made her say it again. I couldn't hide my glee. "My favorite phrase this month."

She giggled delightfully. I suspected she knew what I was up to, but she had decided to find it amusing. She was so adorable at times like these it was all I could do to keep from covering her with kisses from head to toe. I would have to find a way to distract myself from these all too pleasant thoughts or I would be in danger of losing control.

"I have it figured out," I said as if I had been deep in thought.

"What?" I had piqued her curiosity.

"I would like this to count as a 'get out of jail free' card, so to speak. So the next time I do something that annoys you, instead of getting mad at me, I can remind you that you owe me one." I surprised myself with that one; I had pulled it out of thin air and it had a chance of actually working.

"That doesn't sound fair to me. I thought you'd just ask for a kiss," she quickly replied.

Was she out of her mind? Well, yes, she had to be out of her mind to want to marry me, but besides that, what was she thinking?

"One of your kisses is far too valuable to be bargained for, Bella."

That seemed to silence her. Did she not know what even one of her kisses meant to me? I would gladly battle my way through a pack of rabid werewolves if I knew she was waiting on the other side to kiss me.

She got up from the sofa and started toward me. If my heart were still able to beat it would be pounding now at her approach. Was I about to get that aforementioned kiss?

She sat down next to me on the piano bench. I instantly slid my arm around her shoulder and felt her glorious warmth as I pressed her against me. She gazed into my eyes, and I looked longingly into her deep, chocolate pools. I was going to get my kiss one way or another. Then it occurred to me that she was trying to use my own technique on me.

"Bella, are you trying to dazzle me?"

"If you have to ask, I must not be doing a very good job of it," she said in a voice colored with regret.

I could resist her no longer. I slowly leaned down and pressed my lips gently against her luscious, full, pink lips. The feel of her tender skin on mine was exquisite. She brought her small hand up to grasp my neck and pull me even closer to her. Oh, how I wanted to get closer, much closer.

I longed for the day when all the restrictions on us would be lifted. But I also knew what that would mean for her. Her days as a human were numbered. Because of me. And this was the way it had to be for us. Every happy moment tinged with a bit of sorrow.

She twisted around in her eagerness to respond to my kiss and if I hadn't tightened my grip around her waist she would have slid to the floor. I pulled back and said, "Did you know you were about to fall off this bench?"

Her legs were dangling and she tried to straighten up but just ended up clutching onto my shoulder even more. Not that I minded.

"You'll never let me fall," she said, surprising me again with the confidence she has in me. Her trust in me seemed limitless. I couldn't let her down; never again. I knew she deserved much better than me, but if I was what she wanted I would do anything to make her happy.

And as odd as it seemed, she did want me. Forever. Exactly the way I wanted her. I still couldn't believe my good fortune. I couldn't trust that something bad wasn't going to happen before we could set the 'forever' part in motion.

I had to smile at her; she was so charming, so effortless. Her heart was fluttering as she sighed and snuggled against my chest. For me, just a moment like this was worth all of what we went through.

Just then I noticed Alice and Jasper coming downstairs, arm in arm. Much of the time when I was concentrating on Bella I would forget that there were other people in the world. Alice had a thought for me, and then it was clear she wanted to speak to Bella again.

See, movie night turned out better than you expected, didn't it, Edward?

"I just wanted to say goodnight and to let you know that your flowers are going to be spectacular," Alice said to Bella as she let go of Jasper and waltzed over to where we were sitting.

I reluctantly released Bella and Alice took her arm and led her back to the sofa. As she began to tell her about the flowers Jasper came over to me at the piano.

What's wrong, Edward? I can feel worry and apprehension rolling off you from upstairs.

I turned my back to the sofa since I didn't want Bella to see or hear any of this. "We watched one of those stupid romantic movies and she started crying. And when I asked her about it she made some cryptic remark that makes me think she's having second thoughts about the wedding. I hate to ask you, but can you tell what she's feeling?" I said all this so quietly I knew she couldn't hear me.

Jasper was silent for a moment and then said, "You have nothing to worry about. She is nervous but happy and excited. And most of all, she loves you. She would take a bullet for you, as unnecessary as that would be."

I sighed. That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. "Why does she seem… I don't know, unhappy, ambivalent… she cries at the drop of hat lately. And you and I know more than almost anyone else, how fickle humans can be."

You can't seriously be comparing her to the average human. We both know there is no way she falls into that category. All of her feelings are more intense.

"She's very complex, Edward. Maybe that's her way of dealing with all the deep emotions she has. She is not only getting married, she's going to become one of us voluntarily. None of us had that choice. She's got to be going through a tremendous amount of stress. I think she is handling it remarkably well, given the circumstances."

I felt myself scowling at him. If I did not want to face these things that were rushing at us, I could only imagine how hard it was for Bella. She seemed to possess an inner strength that made up for her frail body.

"The overwhelming feeling I get from her is love for you, Edward." That feeling is always there, stronger than any other. I hope you know you are a lucky man.

"Thank you, Jasper." His words should have brought me comfort, but they did not. She would not be suffering if not for me. She would not have to face such a dreadful future if not for me. At least Jasper had not mentioned anything about her feelings for the mongrel, Jacob. Just the thought of him made my mouth fill with venom and I swallowed hard before I turned to look at Bella again.

Calm down. I'm also getting a longing, want and need for you; she's got it as bad as you do, brother.

"I don't need to hear that from you," I almost snarled.

"Well, you asked what she was feeling, and that's a big part of it."

I sighed as I made my back to where Alice was talking to Bella. Jasper stayed by the piano as I reached Bella and took her delicate little hand and gently lifted her up to stand next to me. I inhaled the air that swirled around her as she dipped her head toward me and shook out her hair. Ambrosia.

"Just say goodnight, Alice, I have to take her back to Charlie's now."

"I know. Goodnight Bella," Alice fussed, giving her a hug. "Don't let Edward keep you up all night; there will be plenty of time for that soon enough," she giggled.

I shot her a withering glance but she continued to giggle as she made her way over to Jasper. He nodded his head in our direction and smiled. She's so crazy about you, Edward, don't tell me you can't feel it because I know you can.

I knew he was right about that; she was so crazy she was willing to give up her life for me. That alone could get her committed to a mental hospital. If her father found out. And Jacob knew. The whole pack knew, now. And Jacob had done things in the past to expose her hidden activities to Charlie.

I thought about how upset she had been when she had seen her motorcycle returned by Jacob to Charlie. What if Jacob decided to tell Charlie about our plans before the wedding? He was still so immature and impulsive. He could not be trusted.

It would be breaking the treaty but he had already done that once, when he first exposed our secret to Bella. If not for him she might never have found out what I was. Now his knowledge of our plans was just another potential disaster I had to deal with and try to keep her from thinking about.

I almost expected him to make some kind of a scene at the wedding, but Jasper and Emmett were all ready to quietly dispose of him if the need arose. I suspected that Emmett was pretty much hoping there would be a scene.

I would have to ask Alice to monitor Charlie while we were gone on our weekend adventure. If the dog decided to pay him a visit I would need to know about it as soon as possible. This would upset Bella beyond reason. Charlie's knowledge of my family's secret could endanger his life; I hoped the mongrel would think about that before childishly causing more trouble.

Another thought occurred to me. If not for Jacob, the Volturi would never have found out about Bella. If he had just handed the phone to her when I called, I would not have rushed to Italy like Romeo on crack. Of course I also had to shoulder the blame for my part in that debacle, but he had basically had a free ride for his contribution to the fiasco.

There was really nothing I could do about it now, either. But if he stepped out of line one more time, I wouldn't be responsible for my actions and I would make sure whatever I did, Bella would not find out about it. I would protect her at all costs.

As long as he left us alone I could tolerate his existence for her sake, but if he made any more trouble I would not be sorry to see him vanish, permanently. Bella had cried enough tears over him; I couldn't stand to see her go through that again.

Bella smiled and said, "Goodnight Alice, Jasper. Thanks for everything." My angel was always so thoughtful.

I squeezed her hand gently and basked in its warmth. "Time for someone to get some sleep. Ready to go?"

"Not really, but I know I have to. I will be so happy when you don't have to take me back to Charlie's anymore." Then her expressive face registered sadness but she tried to pretend everything was okay. She was such a bad little actress. I could see tears again on the verge of spilling out of her beautiful eyes, but she struggled against them and bravely smiled at me.

No, I did not deserve someone as thoughtful and wonderful as she was, but I could not let her go now. And, according to Jasper, she would not willingly leave me now, either.

As we drove home she seemed lost in thought. About what I had no clue. It was so frustrating not to be able to hear her thoughts. Was she still thinking about that dismal movie or making wedding plans?

I could not tell from the far away look in her eyes, which she seemed to have most of the time when I looked at her now. It was starting to drive me mad but it was beyond my control. I longed for some sort of clue but it was not forthcoming.

I held her soft little hand in mine and thought about our upcoming weekend away. Charlie had accepted the fiction that now that school was out my parents wanted to take Bella on a camping trip with them, for more bonding between Bella and Esme and Alice.

Little did Charlie know Bella was already so bonded to Alice and Esme it would take a blowtorch to separate them. But the excuse worked well enough to conceal my true plans, which I had even managed to keep a secret from Bella.

This was only possible because of my recent birthday. Everyone in my family knew better than to make any fuss about the date of my birth, but Bella wanted to celebrate. I was not happy about anything that drew more attention to the vast true difference in our ages. For all intents and purposes I was a 17 year old; I looked like one and Bella made me feel like one, most of the time.

When she asked if she could get me a present I detected an opportunity to make a deal. I told her what I would like most was to be able to surprise her with a weekend trip, no questions asked. At first she flatly refused. No deal, she said, that was not a birthday present.

But I persuaded her that this was one thing she could give me that would truly make me happy, and it wouldn't even cost her a penny. She weakly protested a bit longer but I could tell I had won and began to make my plans in earnest.

The backstory about Edward threatening to destroy Jasper before his wedding to Alice was inspired by the most wonderful story called You've Kept Me Waiting, by Mandi1. It's listed near the top of my 'Favorite Stories' if you want to find the link there. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend that you do, it's fantastic.

My thanks again to not done baking for her mad beta skills.