Dance of the Flower Petals Chapter 4: Bothering Sasuke, a naruto fanfic

Me: WOOT! I ACTUALLY FINISHED A CHAPTER!

Sakura: NO! BAD GIRL! There's SasuNaru in here!

Kuroko: ...why is there a Kuro-chan in all of your fics?

Me: ...err... I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

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Naruto was sitting at his desk, explaining to some random guy that he had passed the test now and was a ninja, when two girls walked into the room.

'Oh," he thought. 'It's Ino and Sakura-chan. She sure has changed a lot over the past year...'

Sakura (or, rather, Touka, in Sakura's body) skipped up to Naruto. "G'Morning Naruto!" she smiled warmly, then pushed passed him. "Good Morning, Sasuke-kun," she added, smiling not warmly.

'She used to like him, but now it's like she's mad at him... what did he do?' Naruto wondered.

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"Well, let's see, Sasuke's an evil betraying bastard who's only redeemed as seme to Naruto and Touka-chan knows it? That might have something to do with it," Sakura said sarcastically.

"Have you any idea how weird it is to hear Sakura, of all people, say that?" Kuroko asked.

Before Naruto realized what was happening, he was crouching on the desk in front of Sasuke, a glaring match staring between the two boys. He felt something push his back, and then, all of a sudden, he was kissing Sasuke,

Kissing Sasuke.

Kissing. Sasuke.

Kissing. Sasuke.

Was that an Uchiha-generated moan he heard?

Oh well. Maybe if he just stayed here he could blame it on the force of that guy's push...

"YESSSSS!" Sakura and Kuroko cheered, both hugging pillows.

Sasuke was kissing Naruto.

Kissing. Naruto.

Kissing. Naruto.

Why wasn't he stopping? Sasuke wondered to himself. 'Oh well... this feels kind of... nice.' He moaned slightly.

Sasuke's internal monologue was cut short when a series of flashes blinded his eyes.

There was Haruno Sakura, holding up a pink digital camera.

"YAY TOUKA!" Sakura cheered. "You GO, girl!!!"

"I want those pictures..." Kuroko said darkly. Both girls laughed like crazy.

Touka smirked and put her camera (nicknamed the 'yaoi cam') in her kunai bag. She had gotten the famous 'SasuNaru Episode 3' kiss from 5 different angles and was, in fact, very pleased with herself.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten to turn the flash off, and so the two boys had noticed and broken apart... gasping for air.

Touka's smirk became very evil. "Well well well, you're both gasping for air. Sasuke, have you been molesting Naruto behind my back? Because torturing small blonde people is MY job."

"It's true," Kuroko said. "You know Chibisuke? The little blonde boy of our 'clan' I hug whenever I see? She used to help me do that." she grinned evilly. "We would squish him like there's no tomorrow. And she used to call him 'Chibi-Akachan'..." (chibi tiny, akachan baby, so chibi-akachan: tiny baby)

"Doesn't that make you like me and Ino-pig used to be, oh Sasuke-Fangirl-Hater?" Sakura pointed out, smirking triumphantly.

Kuroko shook her head. "He grins when we do it. And Chibi-Akachan isn't emo," she pointed out, and Sakura nodded, giggling.

Sasuke glared at the fangirl-turned-hater (or so he thinks... Touka never went fangirl for Sasuke). "What are you implying?"

'Sakura' shrugged. "You break apart from a kiss, and you're gasping for air. What am I supposed to think?" she pointed out.

"Sh-she thinks you used your t-tongue," a quiet voice said above them. Sasuke turned to look at the offender: Hyuuga Hinata.

"When you k-kissed him," she added timidly.

The affects if The Makeover were evident: she had a light purple flower hairpin behind each ear and was wearing a white-and-purple coat much like the one she wears in Shippuuden. This was unzipped to reveal her dark purple fishnet shirt. All in all, she looked, as Touka had put it,"Like a doll! OMG Hina-chan you're adorable!" This had been followed by Hinata being added to Touka's mental 'hug on sight' list (which Touka only referred to when not looking like Sakura) and being hugged.

"HINATA the yaoi fan?" Kuroko laughed.

"Apparently," Sakura agreed, giggling. "I don't think it's more surprising then my transformation into a yaoi fangirl."

Kuroko nodded. "Good point."

"Oh, Hina-chan! G'Morning!" Touka cheered with a sudden change in additude. "Thanks for waiting for Touka yesterday! Even though Ino-pig was getting mad... hey, speaking of Ino, where'd she go?"

Ino was lying on the floor with swirls in her eyes. "They... kissed..." she mumbled to herself.

"Yeah, they did!" Touka agreed happily. "I took pictures and can now blackmail them both!"

"That's... great..." Ino muttered, standing up woozily. "I'm... gonna go... sit down..." she walked up the stairs and sat next to Shikamaru with a loud 'THUNK.'

"How's it going?" Shikamaru said boredly. Ino glared at him.

"None of your business," she snapped.

"Aww, they're so cute," Sakura said. "Naruto and Sasuke... as well as Ino and Shikamaru." she giggled.

Kuroko nodded. "Touka sees Shikamaru and Temari as a couple more than those two. But, yes, I agree with you on this point whole-heartedly."

Teams were assigned, and they didn't change. Touka was stuck with the most popuar name in Naruto-related yaoi: Sasuke. As well as Naruto himself.

"Naruto, Sasuke, we should probably all eat together since we're a team," 'Sakura' said, "But I kinda already made plans. We can all eat together later, 'kay?" she skipped away. As soon as she was out of sight of the academy, she created a kage bunshin, and transformed that bunshin into Touka. This bunshin went to where Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru were eating.

"CHOOOOOUUUUUJIIIII!" The Akimichi boy found himself hug-tackled. "You are SOOOOOOOOOO HUGGABLE!"

Chouji, having been subjected to this sort of abuse only too often since Touka showed up, only sweatdropped. "Hey, Touka-chan. chips?"

Touka nodded and took one from the bag. "I've got SUSHI!" she squealed, opening her bento box to reveal...

"Why's it all eel sushi?" Ino asked.

Touka glared at her. "Unagi is superior to all other kinds of sushi! It is the Most Yummy!"

Chouji shrugged. "I like tamago sushi better..."

"To each their own," Touka said, shrugging. "Hey, look! Naruto's up to something."

Sneaking up on Sasuke's window like that. Is he gonna RAPE him...?

'Well, we never know EXACTLY what happened... damnit I wish for the millionth time I was a Hyuuga so i could see what's going on in there!'

Naruto jumped in through the window and closd the shutter after him. There were scuffling sounds.

"OMG Naru-chan's gonna get hurt!" Touka lied. The window opened and 'Sasuke' (or rather, Naruto, henge'd into Sasuke) jumped out.

"Naru-chaaan!" Touka ran to the place Naruto had just left, where Sasuke was all tied up (but she wasn't supposed to know that)

---- (Touka POV-- I know I haven't used POVs in this ficcy before, but work with me here)----

"Naru-chaaaaan? You in here?" I jump through the window and see Sasuke tied up and wriggling on the floor, and giggle.

"You're not Naru-chan!" I say, stating the obvious (I do this a lot). "And didn't you just leave?"

Sasuke wriggles faster, embarrassed to be caught in this position.

"Ohhhh. Was that a henge'd Naruto just now?" I say, as if I hadn't known that's what happened, before it happened.

The response I receive is a sigh.

"Here, I'll help you." I untie him and remove the gag (though I think I like him better when he can't talk) because even though he's an emo pissy bastard, I have to be nice to him for Naruto's sake. Plus, he's pretty strong mentally, I'll give him that-- if my brother was stronger than me and killed everybody, I'd be too buys hiding under the bed to think about revenge. Especially because my little brother's younger than me, so I've tortured him a lot.

In other words, he's a bastard but I have a helluva lot of good reasons to be nicer to him at least when I look like myself. When I'm Sakura... heh. She probably hates him if she's stuck as me anyway, because someone will have made her watch Naruto whether they know who she is or not. As Sakura, I can go all-out bitch on him.

"Who are you again?" he glares at me. "You're that annoying girl who's always hugging Naruto!"

I bow with a flourish. "Annoying? I try. Hugging Naru-chan? I do always do that! You're right!" I grin at him. "He's one of my close friends so I hug him when I see him. Because he needs love! And he's just adorable. AND HE'S SUPER HUGGABLE! Don't you think so?"

"Naruto, adorable? Well, yeah-NO." Sasuke replies quickly.

Hmmm. He's in denial. Or at least I'd like to think so. SASUNARU WILL BE CANNON!

Hell yeah! SHANNAROU! Is Inner Sakura's reply.

"We've met, but I don't think we've been introduced properly. My name is Yaezaki Touka. Uchiha Sasuke-san, correct?" I ask, untying him (and wondering if I should just yell to Ino that Sasuke's helpless right now. Nah... don't feel like it. Too lazy...).

Sasuke nods. "I don't like you," he adds.

I tilt my head to the side cutely (or at least I feel cute doing it. I'm not that cute but I enjoy thinking I am). "Because I hugged Naruto? Don't take it personally. I also hug Chouji-kun, Sakura's mom, Hina-chan, Moegi-chan, Lee-kun, Maito Gai, Tenten-sempai, Kei-chan-- wait. I haven't seen Kei-chan in over a year. But if I saw her again, I'd hug her too. All my other friends back home too..." By now I'm just talking to myself. "I'd like to see Otouto-chan and my family, but I probably wouldn't hug them except for maybe my mom."

"Let me get this straight..." Sasuke says, breaking through my monologue. I'd forgotten he was there. "You hug all of those people, but not your little brother?"

I shrug. "He's not huggable. Neither are either of my sisters. I don't hug those three very often."

---- (Sasuke POV) ----

I bet if her family all DIED like mine did, she'd regret not hugging them.

"So Chouji's huggable, but not your own flesh and blood?"

"Little siblings aren't huggable to me," the strange orange-haired girl says, shrugging. Her eyes widen. "No offense, Sasuke!"

--- (Sasuke Flashback)---

"Anikiiii..." I ask Itachi in whining tone. "Mother and Father are both on missions. Can I have a hug goodnight?"

Itachi turned to glare at his (foolish) little brother. "No."

----(End Flashback)---

"Sasukeeeee?" Touka's poking my arm. "You're spacing out." Then, her eyes widen and she starts talking really fast. Her face is blank, like she's remembering something very frightening but important, an she stares right past me to a random spot on the wall. "Did-I-inspire-some-angsty-emo-flashback-that'll-make-me-hate-you-because-I-reminded-you-of-your-evil-gayass-fruitcake-brother-somehow?"

I twitch. "Errr... nooooo..." How does Touka know about my brother? She's supposed to be a civilian, they aren't informed on these sorts of things...

She grins. "Oh, okay then. Anyway, I gotta go..." she disappears in a puff of smoke.

--- (Naruto POV)---

'Okay, so I've henge'd into Sasuke-teme. Now what?' I spot Sakura-chan sitting by herself, eating a boxed lunch. She looks up and sees me.

"Oh, it's you," she says, coldly.

'She used to be all over Sasuke. Why did she change? Not that I mind, of course.' I walk over to her. "Can I sit?" I ask, keeping my voice flat like Sasuke's.

"I suppose you can- I'm not sure if you may," Sakura-chan sighs.

"What did I do, Sakura?" I make sure my voice is still mostly emotionless, but add a little pinch of hurt to it.

She looks confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You used... to... like me," I say, twitching at the irony of ME saying these things, henge or no henge. "A lot. But now... you don't. What happened, Sakura? Why?"

Sakura sighs again. "There's no point in my childish crush on you. It's fruitless for me to pursue you, anyway."

I raise my eyebrows. "Why is that?"

The pink-haired girl smirks. "Oh, come off it Sasuke, no use hiding it. All the girls in our class know you're gay."

"GAY?!?" I yell, momentarily forgetting I'm supposed to be Sasuke.

She nods. "It's pretty obvious, what with the way you look at Naruto in class all day long. And now he's on your team. That'll be fun..." Sakura giggles.

"Na-Naruto? That's riddikulus!" I say, thinking fast. Wait! While I'm here, I might as well mess things up for him... "Besides, Kiba is MUCH hotter!"

Sakura raises her eyebrows. "Is he?"

I nod fervently, unable to stop the smirk form rising to my face.

Ha ha. Sakura is a girl, and girls gossip. Everyone's gonna think Sasuke's gay for Kiba now.

"Whatever you say, Sasuke-kun, me and Touka-chan both know you like Naruto."

"She KNOWS?!?" A voice yells behind me.

Oh. Crap. It's the real Sasuke, sitting in a tree. No, wait, he's fallen out now...

"Naruto, you can drop the henge," Sakura adds. "I knew who you really were before you even started talking to me."

---- (Kuro-chan POV)---

"YES!!!" I yell, bringing both my arms up.

Kei , who's sitting between me and Sakura on the couch in front of the laptop we're watching Naruto on, hugs us both.

"Yaoi for-the-win!" the other two screech.

"Touka-sempai's on a roll!" Kei says. Sakura nods excitedly.

---- (Touka POV)---

I sneeze. 'Wonder if someone's talking about me. It better not be Kiba!'

Sasuke and Naruto stare at each other, mouths agape.

"Well..." I say, extremely conversationally. "This is indeed awkward! Touka-chan, come out from under there."

The kage bunshin I sent out as Touka crawls out from behind a bush.

"Naru-chaaan!" said bunshin lunges for Naruto, but I stop her.

"Later," I whisper loudly in her ear. "They're having an epiphany."

My clone nods. "Right... I'm gonna go get a yogurt." I really love yogurt. Ramen is to Naru-chan as yogurt is to Touka-chan. end of story.

The lucky bitch skips off, humming to herself...

Oh well. I'll remember eating it when I poof her out of existence. Also, I have live-action yaoi on my hands here, and that's a helluva lot more important---

Naruto stares up at Sasuke.

"Sasuke-teme?" he asked quietly. "Is it true...?"

Sasuke looks away. Ooh, is that a tint of red in his cheeks? Aww... look, he's blushing!

"You really are an idiot," he says, almost warmly. It takes all my self-control to not squeal at this scene. They're so cute!

At this moment, the bell rings and we all run to get back to class on time.

(Naruto POV)

Where is our jounin sensei? We've been waiting here like three hours!!!

Sakura-chan is sitting in the back of the classroom, drawing something in a notebook, giggling to herself.

Sasuke is sitting in a chair in the front of the classroom, staring at me with his arms crossed. What is he thinking? Sakura says he likes me, but in the past year Sakura's been teasing me a lot. It's like she's a whole other person.

Before she used to just yell and hit me, so it's an improvement, I guess.

(Sasuke POV)

Damn that Sakura, and Touka alike. They think they can just assume I like Naruto? Hinata seems to be on this conspiracy too.

Oh, well. If the girls all think I'm gay then that gives me less distractions form killing Itachi.

...And Naruto is kinda cute, in his way.

(Touka POV)

'The tension in this room is sooo thick, I could cut it with a knife.' The only sounds are the sounds of my pencil moving across my notebook and the soft hum of the air conditioner.

"DAMMIT-TEBAYO!" Naruto yells suddenly. "Where is that jounin bastard! He's kept me waiting for too long!"

"So find something to do, dobe," Sasuke replies, his glare never wavering from our favorite blonde uke. (In my mind, Sasuke tells Naruto exactly what he can do... why must I be such a perv?)

"Like you're on to talk," Naruto shoots back, "You've been staring at me for the whole time dattebayo! What the hell is your problem?"

"You're my problem!" Sasuke yells. I have to restrain myself from saying 'awwww' in a baby voice. If I did that, it'd wreck the moment...

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yells, suddenly bringing me into the conversation. "Why in hell did you think this this guy liked me? He won't stop glaring."

"It's not that I thought he liked you, it's that I know he likes you," I say, smiling warmly. "And if he's been looking at you in any way for the past three hours, then that only proves my point further." I giggle fangirlishly.

(Sasuke POV)

'Dammit she's annoying like this!' I think. 'I almost liked her better when she was a stalking fangirl! ... Okay maybe she's not that bad. But she's still pretty annoying.'

"Remember," Sakura says, smirking, "I know everything about everybody. Well... okay, maybe not everything. But I still know a lot of things that you two losers don't."

Since she probably doesn't know anything about Itachi, I could care less.

(Naruto POV)

I stare at Sakura-chan, the turn my minds to other matters.

"Where is that jounin guy anyway? He's late dattebayo!"

Sasuke continues glaring at me.

"Get used to it," Sakura chuckles to herself, continuing to draw in her notebook.

Then, I spot the chalk eraser. "Well, since he's late, he deserves punishment dattebayo."

I put the eraser inside the sliding door and wait in anticipation.

"Any second now..." Sakura mumbles.

The door opens and lands on a guy's head. He's got whitish-greyish hair and a mask. His hitai-ate covers one eye and his expression in extremely bored.

Sakura and I both laugh.

The man sighs. "My first impression of you is... I hate you."

(Sakura POV)

"Sensei! Sensei! I've walked all the way up the tree!" Kei calls from... in top of the tree in Kuro-chan's backyard.

"That's great," I say, "But why are you calling me sensei?"

Kei jumps down and grins. "Well, since you're teaching me, Kuro-sempai, and the others how to use chakra and stuff, that makes you our sensei!"

I sweatdrop. "Suuure..."

For only learning for a year, these people are learning pretty fast. Kuro-chan watched the Sasuke flashback episodes and figured out how to do the Katon: Goukyakuu no jutsu. Another member of the Otaku 'clan,' Kon-chan, is figuring out how to do a Rasengan.

Since not to many jutsu are taught in the series, there aren't that many that we can learn here. Dammit, I wish I'd been more studious back when I lived in Konoha. I mean, sure, I aced every test, but I don't know any jutsu past the academy basics and my taijutsu is almost the worst in the class (but not as bad as Naruto's).

Just for the record, I can now do Katon: Goukyakuu no jutsu and I've been taking karate with Touka's family (who know who I really am... Touka's brother is always bugging me about teaching him. Considering the way he beats on her littlest sister, I have a feeling that's a bad idea...). I want to learn healing techniques since I kick ass in Shippuuden, says everyone but Kuro-chan... she says I suck even in Shippuuden.

But I was trained all my life to be a ninja, so I can beat her pretty easily. Hehe...

(Kakashi POV)

"Well," I said, "Why don't we start with introductions? State your name, things you like and don't like, your dreams, and hobbies."

The blonde brat speaks. "Why don't you start, Kakashi-sensei?" At this comment, the pink-brat smirks evilly.

I sigh inwardly and look up. "My name is Kakashi Hatake--"

"---He reads porn, he's always late, his sensei was the Fourth Hokage, he hides his face because his dad liked his friends, some people think he's gay with Iruka-sensei, and I'm not going to go into how he got his eye that he hides," The pink-brat interrupts, green eyes twinkling. "I know everything, Kakashi-sensei. You can not shock me."

I frown under my mask (but of course, no one can tell ). I would have introduced myself without telling them anything, but they already know so much from what she told them. And how in hell did she hear about me and Iruka? I thought we were doing a good job of keeping that secret...

"Well then, Miss Haruno, since you know so much, why don't you go first?" I say, slightly menacingly.

She just smiles and nods. "O-kay! My name's Haruno Sakura, and I don't like emo boys." She grins. "I like my yaoi and recording phrases or scenes that I find yaoi-esque in my notebook. I also like to draw... I don't have a dream, unless you count the fact that I wanna keep getting stronger. Oh! And someday I'd like to beat up Hyuuga Neji, because he's an ass."

Knowing Gai's students too well for my own good, I nod at this, because Neji is an ass, "Okay, Uchiha, you're up."

He glared at me over his folded hands. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There aren't a lot of things I like, and there's a lot of things I don't. I don't have time for hobbies, because free time is time that should be spent training. And I wouldn't call it a dream, but I have an ambition: the restoration of my clan, and... to kill a certain man."

The pink-haired girl, Sakura, giggled at this as if it were an inside joke.

Before I could tell him to, the blonde brat started speaking loudly and hyperishly.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm gonna be the next Hokage dattebayo! I like ramen, training, and my friends. I don't like people who try to make fun of me--"

"We don't TRY, we SUCCEED," Sasuke interrupted.

Naruto glared at him. "-- And I don't like Sasuke either. My hobby is eating ramen and my dream is to be Hokage so everyone will recognize me dattebayo!"

Sakura giggled at this too.

"Sakura-chan? Why are you laughing at me and Sasuke dattebayo?"

Sakura smiled. "Nothing, nothing, just thinking of something Touka-chan was telling me this morning. An elaboration of an inside joke. You wouldn't get it. Something to do with a monkey and a weasel..." she started outwardly laughing and fell over.

I rolled my eyes mentally, then explained to them about the real gennin test. Sakura wasn't surprised.

There's something fishy about that girl.

(Touka POV)

The morning of the infamous Bells Test, I eat breakfast. Then, I go to Naruto's house in 'Touka' form and force him to eat breakfast-- 'But Naru-chan, I made this ramen from scratch!'

I don't both to do this for Sasuke. Uchiha can starve for all I care.

Once me, Naruto, and Sasuke meet at the training grounds, Sasuke looks miserable. I'd feel guilty if it weren't for the fact that he ran into 'Touka' earlier today and cussed me out. Feh. 'Stay away from Naruto' indeed.

Speaking of adorable people, isn't the Wave Arc pretty soon? Heheh. Haaakuuuu...

Oh crap. I'm OBSESSED with Haku.

How am I gonna stop myself from death-glomping him?

Sakura: Wha--? Haku? NO! You should like Sasuke!

Me: (smirk) Well, Haku is manlier than Sasuke.

Sasuke: Shashuko, I hate you.

Me: Is that Naruto over there?

Sasuke: WHERE?!? (runs away)