Dance of the Flower Petals Chapter 5: Scream! Toukachan's Original Jutsu!, a naruto fanfic

Me: ... WOW everyone lurves me! thank you all so much for the reviews I'll try my best to follow you guys' requests!

Sasori: ARE YOU CRAZY?!?

Me: Ignore him. He just doesn't want me to write to the point where he shows up...

Deidara: She's right, un. Wait'll you see what she does to my Danna... smirk

Me: ...Anyway, thankies for teh reviews! I still don't own Naruto.

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(Touka POV)

Silence reigns after everyone shows up. I content myself with drawing Sasuke's miserable, hungry expression from several different angles.

Naruto looks over my shoulder. "I thought you were over him..." he whines.

"I am," I tell him. "His duck-ass hair is still fun to draw, though. Besides, look at his PAIN! I wanna remember that forever..." I throw in a satisfied smile and sigh of content for good measure, leaving the eavesdropping Sasuke more than a little freaked out.

"Why don't you draw meeeee?" Naruto whines.

"Because you're hard to draw," I say flatly. And it's true. I can never gets his hair-spikes right.

"I try occasionally, though," I add brightly. This cheers him up a little.

Silence regains its reign over the training ground. I'm pretty sure that, in the original story, Sasuke was avoiding Sakura who was avoiding Naruto, but I'm not chasing Sasuke or avoiding Naruto, so that's not gonna happen.

Dammit... when is Kakashi-sensei gonna show up?

(Kuro-chan POV)

"Say it," I threaten, though I am smirking considerably. "The gap between us has not shortened..."

Sakura glares for the threshold of her defeat (she's henge'd into herself again). "Your DDR skills are best..." she sighs. "I will never defeat you... and my hair color defies the laws of nature."

"Thank you," I say. "Play again?"

"Nah," Sakura laughs, "Let's go see what my 'replacement' did to Kakashi's bell test."

(Naruto POV)

"Yo!" There's a poof of smoke, and Kakashi-sensei stands before us. FINALLY!

"What-the-HELL-ttebayou!" I yell. "You're late!"

"He's Kakashi," Sakura sighs, putting her sketchbook into her cherry-red backpack. "He's ALWAYS late."

Kakashi-sensei, that bastard, starts explaining the test. Pretty much, the thing I should do is give one to Sakura-chan and one to myself, then kiss Sasuke's butt goodbye.

Eventually, I get tired if listening to his long, winded explanation, and charge anyway. Kakashi-sensei grabs me, then he says a whole lot of stuff that doesn't matter, puts me down and starts the time.

Sakura grabs both me and Sasuke and pulls us behind a tree.

(Sasuke POV)

'If she's going to try and make me kiss Naruto again, she's dead,' is the first thought that runs through my mind. 'Well, maybe I wouldn't mind SO much, but I do have a reputation to uphold.'

"This test is a trick question," Sakura sighs, "One of my friends told me about these Gennin Tests-- we're supposed to work together. Don't believe me?" She raised her eyebrows. "I did some studying last night, and Kakashi-sensei was on ANBU at one point. Why would they tell three gennin to try to take on an ANBU by themselves?"

"But there's only two bells!" Naruto says loudly.

Sakura nods. "He only put two bells to break us up even more."

I don't like Sakura much, but she had the highest scores on tests, and lately seems to know everything about everybody (So does Touka. In fact, I bet it was Touka who told her about the bells test).

"Okay," I state, "Naruto, Sakura, you cause a distraction of some sort. I'll get the bells while he's kicking your asses."

Sakura smirks and pulls a piece of paper out from behind her pocket.

"Exactly. Kakashi is a known pervert, so, Naruto will sneak up and do the Sexy no Jutsu, thus distracting him. Don't use your usual form, because he'll be able to recognize you. Use Konohamaru's version or something. Also, keep the conveniently smoke to a minimum."

Naruto grins and nods appreciatively.

"While this is going on, I'm going charge him and engage him in taijutsu. Since I fail at taijutsu so bad my dead grandmother can feel it, he's going to launch into a long and annoying monologue about how I should know taijutsu since it's the second part of being a ninja or something else retarded, like my unnatural hair color..."

Sakura turns to me and grins cheekily. "You're going to throw a kunai or shuriken at Kakashi's butt and pin the bells to the tree. Once you've obtained the bells, give one to me and one to Naruto... on second thought, keep the second one so you can eat lunch. The 'no bells, no lunch' part was completely truthful."

"No lunch for me?" Naruto whines. "But... but Sakura-chan!"

"Don't worry, Naruto, if you don't get any lunch we'll feed you ourselves."

So, if I do this I get to hand-feed Naruto?

"I'm in," I announce.

---- One Hour Later----

(Naruto POV)

I was tied to a pole.

"--- Good teamwork, you two, but Naruto didn't get a bell. That's why he's tied up," Kakashi finished. "Now, I'm gonna leave awhile. Don't feed Naruto!"

Team Seven's sensei disappeared in a puff of white smoke...

Sakura opened her lunchbox and shoved food into my mouth. "You're no good to us hungry," she chuckled.

Sasuke pushed her out of my way. "Sakura, you're gonna suffocate him. You have to feed him like this..."

Sasuke put some food on his chopsticks and gently pushed it into my mouth.

Sakura pulled out her camera and took a picture.

"I hate you," Sasuke told Sakura, glaring... but he still kept feeding me.

Kakashi randomly reappeared.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?" Thunder and lightening appeared behind him.

Sakura, who was making a hand sign, just stuck her tongue out.

"He's no good to us hungry," she said. "Those who disobey the rules are called trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash. Right?"

Kakashi's eyes widened. "You... all... PASS!"

He gave a thumbs-up, and the stormy background around him turned to a bunch of yellow daises.

Kakashi glared at Sakura. "And quit the annoying genjutsu. This is real life, not anime."

Sakura giggled, nodded, and undid her hand seal. The background disappeared.

--- Two Hours Later---

"So that's how you passed!" Touka giggled. "Good job, Naru-chan! Sakura too, I guess."

"Hey!" Sakura yelled. "I did the whole plan last night when I could've been sleeping!"

"And you ate breakfast," Touka pointed out, "Which you weren't supposed to do."

"My sensei is KAKASHI, he's always late!" Sakura pointed out, giggling.

Touka shrugged. "Stereotypically speaking, sure. But no stereotype is always followed."

She winked at me. "Where someone was born, who they were born to, or whatever was sealed into them immediately after doesn't necessarily affect their personality, right, Naru-chan?"

That's right, she knows about the Kyuubi. She didn't seem to be surprised, though, and it doesn't seem to affect her ('when you look at your birthday, Naru-chan, it's kind of a given, and what should some old fox have to with your adorable-ness?').

Sakura looks at Touka, confused, then shrugs and walks away. "I'm gonna get a yogurt."

Touka runs after. "Wait for meeeeee!"

(Touka POV)

"We're closing in on the target, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto murmurs into the radio around his neck and ear.

"Good," Kakashi's voice says. "Are you sure it's him?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Oh for the love of-- it's just a damn cat!"

I walk into the clearing where the orange cat, Tora, is, and pull a fish out of my kunai bag, along with some catnip. It flings itself into my arms, and I tense, remember how much it scratched Naruto in the original series, but it's calm.

"Goooood Tora. Good kitty." I scratch him (Tora, not Naruto) behind the ears. "Let's go."

Naruto and Sasuke stare at me, dumbfounded.

"You mean we don't have to ounce on it and get rabies?" Naruto asked. "KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU COULD'VE THOUGHT OF THAT!!!"

Kakashi says nothing into our radio.

"Wow," I say, "The kitty likes me. That comes as a shock... most animals (and babies) don't." I stroke Tora's fur. "Why don't you leave that scary Daimyo lady and come live with me?" I joke.

"C'mon, let's get that damn cat home," Sasuke said. "I need to train."

Sasuke needs to realize there's more to life than ending his brother's,Inner Sakura notes. I agreed readily.

"Oh, my baby!" The daimyo's wife squeals. "Dear widdle Tora-chan, I missed you so! Why do you run away?"

Tora, who looks like he's being suffocated by her hug, struggles to get away in vain.

"Maybe you could be a little more gentle?" I suggest. "I mean, hugs are great, but if you hug too hard it's hard to breathe." As if to say 'hell yes,' Tora escapes the daimyo's wife's arms and run over to me. I scratch him behind the ears.

The fat old woman glares at me. "Why? Does my Tora like you better?"

"I never said that!" I say quickly. "Obviously, he's just thanking me for bringing him back to his Mommy." I pick up the orange (way-cuter-in-real-life-than-in-the-anime) kitty and gently place him in his owner's arms. She doesn't squeeze as hard now and strokes him gently. He purrs. I emit a muffled 'awwww' sound.

"DAMMIT, WHY ARE WE STUCK WITH ALL THE SUCKIEST MISSIONS!" Naruto went into his argument with Iruka, Kakashi, and the Third Hokage about mission and their ranks, or whatever, but I'm too lazy to repeat the whole thing (I was playing with Tora the whole time anyway).

Eventually, as you all know, we get assigned to guard Tazuna the bridge builder (it takes all my control to not start singing Simon and Garfunkel's 'Bridge over Troubled Water').

"They're all a bunch of Super Brats! They look like they can't help me-- especially the shortest one with an ugly face," Tazuna says drunkenly.

Naruto laughs. "The short one with the ugly face? Which one is that?"

He looks at me, then he looks at Sasuke.

Then, Naruto turns to Tazuna. "YOU-!!!"

(Sasuke POV)

"Sakura, STOP HUMMING," I say for the fifteenth time.

Sakura grins cheekily. "Can I sing then?"

"NO."

Sakura's response is to turn to Naruto. "I think Touka might have taught you this one Naruto--- 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves!"

Naruto starts singing along. "I know a song that get on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes!"

The whole thing starts over, and, to my horror, Tazuna and Kakashi-sensei both started to sing along.

Is the world out to get me or is this just bad karma? I haven't done anything wrong!

"Oi, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto calls. "Sing with us!"

I glare at him... "No."

"Why not?" Sakura whines. "It's more fun when everyone sings!"

I turn my glare to Sakura. "Because it's stupid!"

Sakura beams and nods excitedly. "That's what makes it fun! C'mon, just one try?"

Naruto's eyes get big and shiny. "Pleeeeeaaaaase, Sasuke?"

Something in those eyes makes me agree. I take a deep breath...

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!" I feel extremely childish.

"Everybody's nerves!" But, at the same time, I feel... funny.

"Everybody's nerves!" It's a strange, light feeling and I can't help but smile. Me. Smiling.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and THIS IS HOW IT GOES!" It's like my heart is actually in my ribcage, instead of my stomach where it usually feels like it is.

I think I'm... happy... naw. I'm never happy.

Naruto stares at me blankly...

And grins. "Wow, Sasuke, you sing better than I expected!"

Sakura nods excitedly. "You see? It's not so bad. All together now!"

All five of us (Me, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, and Tazuna) take deep breath and start singing again. After awhile, Sakura hold up a hand and starts singing 'The Song That Never Ends,' which is even more fun somehow.

Did I just think the word fun?

... No. I never have fun. I'm only joining in because it's so stupid and so I can laugh at Naruto on the inside. IN FACT! The best part of this is Naruto's expression. He's got his eyes closed and his mouth wide open. So stupid, you can't help staring.

It was staring at this person that made me step in that puddle. I wasn't looking where I was going...

Wait. A puddle, on a clear day? That's odd...

Two oddly-clothed Mist ninja pop out of the puddle and attacked us. One almost immediately slashed up Kakashi-sensei, and the other headed straight for Sakura, who took a deep breath and made the hand-sign for the Katon: Goukyakyu no Jutsu. However, instead of omitting a fireball, she let out a Scream.

But not a just any scream. This was an earth-shaking, brain-killing, eardrum-shattering Scream. Hearing this Scream gave me the worst pain I have ever gotten to my head in my entire life, which, considering the fact that Itachi used Mangekyou Sharingan on me, is saying something.

Something popped in my ears and everything went black.

(Touka POV)

"DAMMIT," I cursed. "I was saving that attack for the Chuunin Exams..."

Really. I was. So I could show that Dosu how it's done...

I dragged everyone to the side of the road, and tied Zabuza's man-slaves to a tree.

Then, I removed all their weapons and refilled their weapon-carrying places with peaches I had brought in my backpack exactly for this purpose. In their hands, I placed a note that said, in fancy handwriting, "The Peachy Girl Says Hi." (Peachy Girl is my screen name on most sites, and 'Touka' means 'peach blossom' so that seem to fit.)

Next, I poured the contents of my water bottle onto everyone who wasn't awake or tied to a tree, and we set off again.

(Kuroko POV)

I remember going to bed late that night. I'd stayed up late sparring Kon-chan in taijutsu (by the way, I won). Once I got home, I did my homework and some studying-- I'm trying to get into one the higher middle school in this town (which I and Kon will be able to enter, but Touka probably wouldn't be able to).

Anyway, after I fell asleep around 1:00 AM, I fell into a strange dream.

I was in a grassy field that stretched as far as the eye could see. There was someone staring across from me.

Her hair was black and short, and she was wearing simple light purple pajamas.

"S-Sasuke-s-san?!?" Her widened eyes were white and glazed over like a blind person's.

"Hyuuga... Hinata," I whispered, shocked.

"Kukukuku. I'm going to perform a test on you two girls," said a voice that was everywhere and nowhere all at once.

The half the field that I was standing on turned dark, and the half that Hinata was standing on turn bright white.

The darkness flew towards Hinata, and the light all flew to me...

Me: EVIL CLIFFY! Kekeke...

Kuro-chan: HELL YES! FINALLY!

Sasuke: why does everyone say you look like me? we're nothing alike.

Kuro-chan: ...Wow, you're right.

Itachi: She's more like me.

Sasuke: ITACHIIIII! I WILL KEEEEL YOOOUUUU!

Itachi: SHASHUKO-THE-PAISLEY-MAIDEN-OWNS-NO-NARUTO! (runs from psycho brother)