I won't lie to you. That night was perfect, and I'll definitely never forget it. I still think he was lying when he said it was his first time, though. He was too...good for it to be his first time! Also: I was finally able to tell him I loved him. I was glad to have admitted it, to be honest! I'd figured out for sure that I truly meant it, and just couldn't hold it in any longer. I was a bit disappointed that I'd fallen asleep before I'd seen his reaction, though.

I woke up the next morning, feeling an uncomfortable aching between my thighs, but ignoring it. To be honest, I actually felt really sick as well, but I just assumed it was natural and paid no mind to it. I moved closer to Vincent, his arms (which were already around me) tightening their hold on me while he slept. Deciding to let him get his rest, I just quietly lay there in his embrace, my head resting against his shoulder as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, shutting my eyes. Eventually, I shivered, realising just how cold it actually was even with the heat of his body and the bedcovers. I reluctantly extracted myself from his arms and got out of bed, getting dressed. Finally, I got my jacket on and checked my pockets, finding my phone in there. Once I'd found it, I immediately noticed that the screen was glowing, meaning that I'd left it on without realising. When I checked my messages, I almost dropped the phone in shock:

'You Have 3 Unread Messages'

Very few people knew my number, so I was hoping that at least one of these texts was from a coworker. I couldn't help but sigh in relief when I saw all three were from Tseng. So, the Turks were alive?

' There is indeed something suspicious going on. I do hope you are alright. Upon awakening, I was in the house of a resident in North Coral. When I asked what had happened to you, I was told that when I was found, I was alone...so I do hope that you share my fortune and were discovered by a passer by and not by a monster or enemy... Although I do not doubt your fighting ability, As a leader it is only natural for me to be concerned about you all. '

'Although difficult to believe, I feel you should know: Reno and Rude were found dead on the coast near Rocket Town...now I am certain that someone is after us. Our separation was planned...this only doubles my concern for you. Stay safe, and reply immediately if you are well. I know for a fact that you are never without your phone, so please reply as soon as you see this. I need to ease this fear.'

'So the Turks loses yet another reliable member. Rest in peace, my dear. I apologise for pretending I did not recognise your feelings...and I also apologise for never telling you mine. I was too obsessed with work that I feared a personal life with you would only interfere. I was foolish. I am sorry. And now I am too late. I see that the Lifestream claimed you before I chose to. Farewell.

Reno and Rude were dead? Tseng had feelings for me? This had to be a dream. It had to be! No, not a dream. A nightmare.

All that information at once...it was so hard to take in. I couldn't believe any of it was real. Time seemed to stop, and everything went silent as I thought about what I'd just read.
The next sound I heard was that of my phone hitting the bed with a soft thump as my hands covered my mouth. Maybe it was all the emotion and anxiety in me at that moment that did it, but the sickness in me had increased, and before I knew it, I was in the bathroom, throwing up down the toilet. (I had no idea back then that emotion and anxiety had nothing to do with it.) It eventually ended, and I gazed up at the ceiling from where I was kneeling, panting and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. Flushing to get rid of the 'evidence', I got up and washed my face, just thinking about what I'd just found out and feeling so much guilt and regret. It was all impossible to believe. I'd always gotten into stupid arguments with Reno, and always ended up calling him something harsh...he'd taken those names to the grave now.It was too late for me to apologise and to say I didn't mean it. I walked over to the radiator in the corner of the room and took a towel, drying my face as I looked into the mirror. The girl staring back at me looked disgusted with me, and I was just as disgusted with her. She was pale, her honey coloured eyes bloodshot and red from crying. The white-blonde hair surrounding her face was wet, clinging to her, and her bottom lip trembled with fear and grief. She was weak. She was me. Tears stung my eyes and streamed down my cheeks as I heard sobs escaping my lips, but they weren't loud enough to be heard very clearly.
"Someone wake me up..." I muttered, shutting my eyes tightly and trying to wake up from this horrible dream. It never happened.
Leaving the bathroom, I glanced over at the phone I'd left on the bed when I'd rushed off. I couldn't help but think about how Tseng must be feeling worse that I was. He'd lost Reno and Rude, and he thought I was dead, too. Taking the phone in my hand, I opened up a new message and went on to reply to Tseng and tell him I was actually safe:

'I'm safe. I'm in Nibel. I'm sorry I never replied. I didn't know I had messages until a minute ago. Is it all true? Everything?' I kept it short. I was too upset and overwhelmed to think of anything else to write, and so I just sent it like that, hoping that Tseng would reply very soon. In the meantime, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and sat closer to where Vincent was sleeping on the bed. He looked so peaceful there like that, unaware of anything that was going on around him. He'd probably sleep that way for quite some time, as he looked as though he'd been lacking sleep before. I sighed, my fingers running through his hair gently so as not to wake him...in a way, it was kinda comforting...but only a little. I then looked over at the empty space in the bed where I'd been lying, one of Vincent's arms resting across it from when he'd been holding me to him. I'd have given anything to wake up in that space, his arms tightly around me, comforting me and reassuring me that I'd just been having a nightmare, but I knew that wasn't about to happen no matter how hard I wished for it.The phone in my hand vibrated, disturbing me from my thoughts and signalling a new message. With trembling hands, I pressed the button to open the text, and then read what it stated:

'Thank goodness...I shall soon come for you. Wait for me, alright? We have to look into what has happened lately, and resolve the problem before it gets any more serious. I shall be outside the old manor in a few moments, so be sure to wait for me there so that we can discuss a plan of action.'

But meeting Tseng meant leaving Vincent. Sure, I wanted to find out about what was going on, I wanted to avenge Reno and Rude, and I still wanted my job as a Turk, but...I didn't want to leave Vincent. I'd have to choose, though. I knew I couldn't have both, so I could get that idea outta my head right now. I had to choose, and not look back. I just had to make the decision with no regrets, and do it fast.

I found myself staring fondly at Vincent sleeping peacefully again. He was so loving and trusting. He'd been hurt before...I didn't want to hurt him as well. Then there was Tseng and my job. Being a Turk was who I was, and all I knew! Why did all this misfortune and badness always seem to find me?! I needed to think hard about this, but time wasn't a thing that I had anymore. Tseng said he'd be outside the ShinRa mansion in a few moments...and that meant that he expected me to be there, too. Tseng wouldn't hang around, especially under such dangerous circumstances..I knew that. It was all too difficult! I wanted to cry, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. It'd only wake Vincent up and make the decision even harder. If I stayed here with him instead of going to meet Tseng, Tseng would think something had happened to me on the way to meet him, or that I'd quit the Turks...he'd be upset, disappointed, and probably feel many other things too. But if I left Vincent, that'd hurt him and break his heart. We'd come too far for me to turn back now. I'd told him I loved him! I couldn't just take that back and walk out! He'd never walk out on me...so would I ever be forgiven if I walked out on him? Would I be heartless enough to ignore his love for me and deny my love for him by walking out? I couldn't...could I? But I couldn't disappoint Tseng by quitting the Turks, either. No matter how I looked at this, it was a lose-lose situation, and it all depended on me, and me alone. No matter what I chose to do, I'd be seen as a traitor.

After a few more minutes of pannicked thinking, I stood up, and nodded once. I'd thought about this, and decided that I was just going to do it, no matter how hard it was for me. It was my own fault for getting myself into this mess to begin with. That was that. I just had to accept the fact that I was nothing more than a bitch and a traitor.

I'd made my choice.