Chapter 8: Light up my room
Friday Morning
A light rainfall woke me up early. Still no Edward. What could be keeping him? I looked out the window and saw that Charlie had already left for work and Edward's Volvo was not parked at the curb. Crap. How had I survived 36 hours without him? Oh well, I thought; that which does not kill us makes us bitter.
I picked up some jeans and a blue, V-neck sweater Alice had bought for me. Alice had explained that the 'V' shape appeared to elongate the neck, and since that was one of my most attractive features to Edward, I had begun to favor that style.
Alice was itching to get me into a strapless dress for the wedding reception but I didn't see the point in changing out of my wedding dress. She pointed out that I might spill something on it, given my propensity for accidents, but I was still resisting. If I were going to change out of my wedding dress I would rather put on jeans or something more comfortable than a strapless dress.
But she said Edward would rather see me in the strapless number, so I hadn't ruled it out completely. I would probably give in and wear it but I wasn't going to let her win another round without a struggle.
I headed for the shower, figuring I could spend some extra time drying and smoothing my hair. The hot shower was starting to make me feel better in spite of the nagging worry about Edward's whereabouts. I slowly and carefully shaved my legs, and was rewarded with no nicks or cuts. Proud of myself, I towel dried my hair and got dressed.
I started using the blow dryer and a large round hairbrush Alice had recently given me. Just as I was putting away the blow dryer, I heard a tap on the bathroom door.
"Bella my love…"
I wrenched the door open so fast it shuddered on its hinges. I threw myself into his open arms and he held me tight against him. "I missed you so much; it seems like you've been gone for a month!" I exclaimed.
I looked into his honey topaz eyes and saw that he had missed me just as much. Then he buried his nose into my neck, drinking in the scent from my steamy skin.
After a long moment he looked me over from head to toe and said, "You've been a good girl, haven't you? You're still all in one piece?" as he picked me up and carried me back to my room.
"Yes, I've been a model of good behavior. Not a scratch, and I even chopped onions for enchilada casserole last night," I boasted, so happy to be in his arms again.
"Oh my, living dangerously, handling knives. I don't know if I approve of that," he said with mock seriousness.
"Hey, you owe me several kisses, to make up for the ones I missed yesterday," I told him.
He seemed ready to oblige, sitting down in the rocking chair and placing me in his lap. Thankful I had just brushed my teeth and therefore must be minty fresh, I pressed my warm lips against his cool ones.
After an indeterminate time that left my heart beating wildly he pulled away and said, "I missed you too, Bella. Every moment I'm away from you I am aching to touch you, to feel your warmth, to breathe in your intoxicating scent." He held me close and gently rocked back and forth.
"Edward, when I woke up and found your note, it made me so happy. I could feel your arms around me and I could hear your voice. I must have read it at least ten times yesterday. It made it a lot easier to go to sleep last night. That, and the CD you made for me," I said gratefully.
"I am glad it helped. Did you have any dreams last night?"
"Not that I remember. I depend on you to tell me what I've dreamed, you know."
"Nights away from you are agony," he murmured against my throat.
If being away brought this kind of reunion, maybe it was almost worth it. "Can we just stay like this forever?" I daydreamed out loud, not caring that I sounded like a walking cliché.
"We could," Edward replied, "but I've made plans for a whole wonderful weekend together. Aren't you excited about our trip?"
"I certainly am! Are you going to tell me where we're going now? Are we really going camping?" I asked, starting to squirm.
"Be patient, Bella."
"No, you be patient, I'll be nurse," I teased, placing my hand on his cool forehead.
"I'm the one who's been through med school twice, you know. If anyone is going to play doctor it's going to be me," he said decisively, grabbing my wrist and bringing my hand down to his mouth. He placed his cool lips against my warm palm and I could feel him smile.
I snuggled into his chest and rested my head against his cool, smooth neck. "You know, doctor, I could use some help examining our relationship," I said, intending to tease. "A lot of people don't understand it."
"Well, how could they be expected to understand it?" he asked reasonably. "We can't let them know what I am, and even without knowing, when they look at us they see a beautiful young girl with a boy who is only going to cause trouble for her."
"Don't say that, Edward! That's not what I think they see when they look at us. They see an incredibly handsome young man from a wealthy, respected family and wonder what he's doing with that average, working class girl. They probably think I'm a gold digger," I said dejectedly, thinking about how people would gossip when they found out about the wedding, only weeks away.
"Do not ever let me hear you call yourself average again, Bella," he said sternly. "You are anything but average. You are extraordinary. You are exceptionally beautiful, both inside and out. You have an inner beauty that will never change. You are more brave and selfless than is good for you. You are loyal and kind, always concerned about the feelings of others instead of your own."
He picked up my hand and kissed my palm again before continuing.
"You spin out this thread of kindness and wrap it around people who have the least and need the most. Your soul is radiant Bella; sometimes it overwhelms me."
There was no way to reply to something like that. I felt myself tremble slightly and he tightened his grip on me before continuing.
"You are way too good for me, and I will never forget that for a moment. And I won't let you forget it either," he said vehemently.
I was blushing now, unsure of what to say. It was thrilling to hear him say things like that about me, even if I couldn't let myself quite believe them. But if he saw me that way it helped me understand why we fell in love. He was just as delusional as I was.
"And that doesn't even begin to address your physical attributes, which are many and varied. You have the most lustrous, shiny, long beautiful hair; it's glossy and shimmers in even the dimmest light. And it's so fragrant, heavenly. Most girls would kill to have hair like yours. But I'm not in love with your hair," he concluded unexpectedly.
"You aren't?" I asked, slightly bewildered.
"No, I don't care if you cut it off as short as Alice's. I would love you, no matter what you looked like. The fact that you have the smoothest, most delicate skin, softer than a rose petal is beside the point. I just want to be with you, for the essence of you," he said, running his hand from my cheek down my throat and resting it over my heart. I loved it when he touched me like that.
"And your lips; if I start talking about your lips we will never get out of here," he murmured.
I smiled, enjoying this closeness. I didn't care if we ever moved from this spot.
"You have the most beautiful, deep, expressive eyes; I never get tired of looking into them. I frequently get lost in them and forget my train of thought," he admitted.
"I lose all track of time and space when I look into your eyes, Edward," I said softly.
"Do you remember when your leg was in a cast?" he asked suddenly, and his jaw tightened.
"Of course," I answered, surprised that he would bring that up. He usually avoided any mention of that nightmarish episode in Phoenix.
"Well I didn't love you any less because you were in a cast. I loved you more, because I knew what you had gone through, and how courageous you had been. It was so painful to see you like that, because I knew it was my fault, and I would have given anything to have kept you safe," he said, as he rubbed my right hand, where the small crescent shaped scar left a lasting reminder of my almost fatal encounter with James.
"You saved me then, Edward. I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for you," I said simply.
"Well, I hate that because of me you are put in these dangerous situations. But you are so resilient. Your bones heal, and your spirit is so strong. You have this light within you that is never dimmed, it never goes out. You continue to shine in the darkness. You are the light that illuminates my path. As long as you will have me, Bella, I will do anything and everything to keep you safe and happy."
My heart was pounding so loudly in my chest I was sure he could hear it. How could I not be in love with someone who made me feel like this? Any doubts I ever had were completely banished by the joy that filled my heart. I felt free. I did love him completely and I wanted to spend eternity with him and only him.
"Then that will be forever, Edward. I will love you forever," I whispered.
My heart felt mended, even the little tiny part that I thought had broken off seemed to be back where it belonged. Edward was working some kind of magic to heal my spirit and make me completely whole again. I felt no fear; only hope for our future together.
He brought his hand up under my chin and turned my face up to meet his lips as they pressed, gently at first and then with increasing pressure until I began to feel faint. He released me and I took a deep breath. He buried his face in my neck, his lips resting on the hollow at the base. I never wanted to leave this room.
"Do we have to go camping this weekend, Edward?"
He laughed and said, "We're not going camping, but we are going to this lodge that Rosalie would call glam camping. I think you will be pleasantly surprised."
"Alright, I trust you. You've certainly seen a lot more of the world than I have," I acquiesced.
"I will take you any place you'd like to go after we're married, Bella. Would you like to go on a safari in Africa or tour Europe?" he inquired.
"How soon after? Are you talking about a honeymoon?" I was suspicious. He loved playing the marriage card. I figured he was pretty sure I would do anything to get my ticket to forever punched, and as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.
"I can see this is not the time to discuss this. Let us just concentrate on having a fun trip this weekend."
"That sounds good. You know if you weren't virtually impossible to buy for we wouldn't be going on this trip," I informed him with just the slightest hint of complaint in my voice.
"You never need to buy me anything," his velvet voice replied.
"I know, but it is traditional to give someone a present on their birthday. And I know how you feel about celebrating that day, but to me, it's the day that's had the most significant influence on my life. It's the day that made this possible." I hugged him closer.
I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, "If this is what you want to celebrate, I completely understand. I would not mind celebrating this everyday. Because everyday with you is a gift."
"That's exactly the way I feel, too. I'm so glad you understand." I felt his lips press into the top of my head, sending a thrill straight through me, but I wanted to feel them on my lips.
I leaned my head back and looked up at him expectantly, eyes pleading for a kiss.
He was getting better at reading my expression, I noted with satisfaction as he leaned down to meet my eager lips.
I never failed to marvel at how his cold, marble lips seemed soft and warm when he touched me. And how just one kiss could make me tingle from head to toe. When his lips reluctantly left mine his expression seemed to indicate that he enjoyed the experience as much as I did. That reminded me of something.
"You know you owe this mysterious getaway to my shortcomings as a human being."
"Whatever do you mean, Bella? I thought I was just hard to shop for."
"Yes, you are, but that's not the only kind of gift one person can give another. I tried to think of everything but I can't paint you a picture, I can't compose a song for you, I can't sew, I can't knit, I can't dance—" he put his long, slender fingers against my lips, halting my torrent of inabilities.
"Stop right there. I would be happy to see you attempt to dance for me anytime. And as for all the other things on your silly list, they do not matter in the least. You have the most kind and generous heart, but I can see how that would be difficult to wrap with a ribbon. You are the only present I want."
Finally, I thought, we are on the same wavelength. Because I had changed my mind. I had decided that I wanted to give myself to him completely. I didn't want to wait until after the wedding. I was too impatient to do things the so-called 'right' way. Besides, we were engaged and we were going to get married. I was ready to at least try. We were totally committed to each other and wanted to spend every day with each other until the end of time.
With the wedding date fast approaching Edward almost never left my side, unless he was sure Alice was watching over me. It was so hard to contain my feelings for him I sometimes thought of the minutes ticking away like the detonator on a time bomb and that on my wedding day I would explode.
I thought that my body must crave his the way he craved my blood. This longing for him was intense and never ending. As shy as I was, I wanted to tear all my clothes off and feel his skin on mine. I knew he wanted it too; he just had so much more self-control than I did. Chalk up another defect for the weak human.
While I loved being with him, it was harder and harder to be so close and not be able to close the gap that still existed because of our physical restrictions. Perhaps this weekend I could finally give him the gift that I truly wanted him, and him alone, to possess.
Perhaps it would be something I was good at for a change. He seemed happy with my kisses. Of course he had little to compare my kisses to. I wasn't sure he had ever kissed a girl before; he said he hadn't, but I still had lingering doubts about the time he spent in Denali. Maybe he had never kissed a human girl before. Maybe he was going to get off on a technicality. That would be just like him.
His lips found mine again and drove all thought out of my brain for a few delicious moments. But my stomach had a mind of its own and made a distinct sound indicating emptiness.
He leaned back, smiling. "Are you hungry, my sweet? While you were in the shower I made a cheese omelet for you and it's warming in the oven."
"That sounds wonderful. Have you been watching the Food Network again? Let's go downstairs and you can tell me more about the trip while I have breakfast."
I snuck in a quick kiss before we got up. Edward gave me a look, but he seemed so happy to see me that I could take a few advantages without any fear of consequences.
Once downstairs I dug into my omelet and he told me we were going to a hunting lodge in Northern California, and we would get there in a small plane he had chartered.
"Edward, a chartered plane!" I was getting concerned.
"I know Charlie is okay with us going camping with my family, but I think it would be best if we conduct this whole trip as discreetly as possible, which means not flying on commercial airlines, and so forth. This jet taxi has no air traffic control ground stops, we don't have to go through a terminal, we can fly under the radar, so to speak. Understand?" he looked at me expectantly.
"Yes, I understand," I replied,starting to get an idea that this might be even more fun than I had thought. "It's all hush hush, down low, on the q.t.," and I winked at him as I quoted a line from one of my favorite movies, L.A. Confidential.
"You're beginning to get the picture, but we're not going to fifties Los Angeles; this place is more like early 1920s 'lost coast of California.' I'm not sure they've ever made a movie about anyplace like this," he explained. "Alice says she packed everything you will need and the bags are in the car waiting for us. As soon as you finish breakfast we will be on our way."
I couldn't believe I had agreed to the new wardrobe as part of this trip, but I figured I could wear the clothes for the rest of the summer, and maybe after the wedding, too. I couldn't go on wearing jeans and tee shirts after I was an old married lady. Yeah, right. Married maybe, but never old, if I had anything to say about it.
As I took the last bite of my delicious omelet I said, "Luckily for you, I'll follow you anywhere, as I think I've already proved." I looked up at him from under my eyelashes.
In a flash he swooped down and carefully caught a bit of the skin on the back of my neck in his mouth and ran his tongue around in slow circles. That sent an icy tingle down my spine. I felt my heart skip a beat and the blush spread up from my neck to my face. I knew he felt it too, and I sat very still.
He kissed his way from the back of my neck to the front, and then found my lips. I was glowing like Edison's first light bulb as I returned his kiss with enthusiasm.
Then he stood up and pulled me off of the chair. Just as I was thinking this might be leading somewhere interesting he said, "Time to get started on our big adventure." I had thought we were already on our way to a big adventure, but evidently not the same one he had in mind.
Oh well, I had all weekend; I might as well take my time. And knowing Edward, he would probably be determined to do the 'right' thing anyway. This weekend was going to exciting on several levels. I felt that prickly sensation dance across the surface of my skin again as I looked into his beautiful topaz eyes.
He was holding my jacket for me, and as I slipped into it, grabbing the silly designer purse Alice had foisted on me, even though it only contained a chap stick (Alice had said "Don't you want to keep your lips soft for Edward?" and I couldn't argue with that), a comb, my wallet, which never saw the light of day as long as I was with Edward, and the special Alice-assisted project.
She had also insisted I take a digital camera and made me promise to take lots of pictures. Alice wanted to put the photos in an album for us, so I would always have a record of this birthday trip. I had instructions to bring back maps, menus, ticket stubs, any kind of printed material she could weave into a scrapbook to document what she predicted would be a magical journey.
She seemed to know a lot more about this trip than I did, but other than tell me I was going to have a wonderful time, she wouldn't volunteer any more information.
Now that we were about to set off on this weekend escape I was beginning to get excited, and I felt almost giddy. As Edward opened the front door I shouted, "I call shotgun," and he snorted.
He shut the door behind me and sped me towards his shiny silver Volvo. After making sure I was buckled in he went around to the driver's side and slid behind the wheel. I got out the camera and quickly took a picture of him.
"What was that about?" He sounded unusually curious.
"I've had instructions from Alice to carefully document this weekend. She wants to make an album as a gift for us. And I was just thinking I don't have any pictures of you behind the wheel of this car, and this is the start of the trip, so smile."
He gazed at me with his mesmerizing topaz eyes and I took another picture of him, looking right into the camera, smiling his most dazzling smile. It worked on me, even through the lens. I felt lightheaded and slightly confused as to where I was. I lowered the camera and blinked a few times. His laugh brought me back to earth.
"Edward! Aren't you ever ashamed of yourself when you do that to me?"
"I was just following instructions. You told me to smile." He looked angelic now. His beauty was overwhelming.
"You make it impossible to be mad at you. You must be happy about this trip; you're positively glowing."
"So are you. Spending three days alone with you is the best gift you could give me. Thank you, Bella."
"Oh, I plan on enjoying myself, too, Edward." I was trying hard not to blush, thinking of the plans I had made in my mind for our special weekend.
"I am glad to hear it."
I wanted to completely be in the moment and enjoy this trip, but my conversation with Charlie at dinner last night was weighing on my mind. I didn't want to tell Edward about it, fearing it would upset him, and I wanted everything to be perfect for the next three days. But I began to wonder if he had already had this talk with Edward, and he hadn't told me about it.
Or maybe Charlie was going to have this talk with Edward before the wedding. In that case, Edward needed to be prepared. I would have to tell him about it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad; Charlie was just the concerned father. Edward would understand that.
"What did you do while I was away?" Edward's inquired lightly.
"I kept myself busy at home but then it started to rain and I decided to go hang out with Alice, didn't she tell you?"
"No she didn't mention it. Did you have fun?" He sounded very curious.
"Yes. And I found out about your prohibitions. I wish you would have told me you forbade her to discuss the wedding with me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't think you would mind."
"I was glad to have a break from the planning, but it would have been nice if you had let me know what you were up to."
"I was just trying to make things easier for you," he replied smoothly.
There he went again, ready with an answer I really couldn't complain about. I decided it was time to bring up the Charlie issue.
"Well, next time just give me some warning. Then I'll be able to appreciate all the things you do for me. And I have to warn you about something that might be unpleasant."
"Has the Spruce bud worm devastated the flower markets in Europe? Are we going to have to postpone the wedding?"
He must be in a good mood to joke when I'm trying to be serious.
"It's not that bad; it's just Charlie."
"Tell me." He looked at me and I could see worry on his beautiful face.
"At dinner last night he started giving me the third degree about our relationship. He had been thinking about when I first told him about you, and that brought up the trip to Phoenix and a whole bunch of other stuff. He said marriage didn't guarantee happiness but I told him we already knew that."
"I am so sorry I wasn't there."
"I know, but he waited on purpose until you were gone to bring this up. I'm sure he just thinks I'm too young to get married and he's afraid our marriage is going to end up like his, and there's no way I can explain to him that's not going to happen."
"Do you want me to talk to him?"
"No. I reassured him as well as I could, and I'm just telling you in case he does try to talk to you about it when I'm not around."
"I knew when he gave his consent to our marriage he had reservations. He still sees you as a twelve year old. He can't believe you are going to marry your first boyfriend."
"Yes, he seemed to think we had been dating behind his back before that night I introduced you to him. I explained that we had become close at school, after you saved me from Tyler's van."
"Well, that is partially true."
"I know, but I couldn't very well tell him the whole truth. So I just wanted you to be prepared."
"Thank you, Bella. I am so sorry you have to lie to Charlie; I know how it bothers you."
"It would bother me much more if I couldn't be with you." That was the understatement of the century. It wouldn't just bother me if I couldn't be with him, it would kill me. I had tried to live without him before and I never wanted to do that again.
We had arrived in Port Angeles in record time and our destination was an airstrip I never knew even existed. As Edward pulled our luggage out of the car the rain stopped. We left the car in a parking lot on the side and walked to a small plane that was waiting for us.
The pilot was going through a checklist and said he was almost ready to go. Edward put our luggage in the small plane and then took the camera out of my hands.
"Stand next to the wing, please, I want to get a picture of you," he instructed.
I grimaced, but did as he asked. "This wasn't what I had in mind for the album; I don't need photos of myself." I knew what I looked like and much preferred to look at him, either in person or in photos.
"Humor me. Getting you into a small plane is worthy of documentation. How about a smile?" His lovely teeth glimmered encouragingly at me.
I wanted to glower at him but it was impossible. I felt a smile on my lips in spite of myself. He took several pictures and then as if I was awakening from a stupor I put up my arms and waved him away. "That's enough. Let's get some of the two of us in the plane, okay?"
"Good idea, beautiful. Let's get you situated." He took my hand and helped me climb in the small cabin. He securely strapped me in and then put his arm around my shoulder. I suddenly thought: how did I get here? Somehow he had made it seem like this was my idea. He was way too smart for his own good. I was going to have to be on my toes this weekend, if I wanted my plans to have a chance.
It was still very overcast, but nothing to impede our immediate take-off. This was going to be an exciting adventure, I kept telling myself.
Please take a moment to leave a review; it helps to know a real person is reading this stuff. Got a favorite line from this chapter?
Much thanks to my beta, not done baking, for super editing skills. Next chapter is in Edward's POV.