Plans and Feelings

Observing her wasn't working. Zoro had been watching her for weeks and the only thing he knew for sure was that something was definitely wrong. If he wanted to find out what this thing was that was bothering her he was going to have to take a more aggressive approach. The way he saw it her had two options, he could give up and hope that whatever it was would go away while it continued to eat at her and potentially cause some irreversible damage. The other option was to take an aggressive approach. Zoro was no quitter so he came up with a plan.

It wasn't a great plan, in fact it was simple and not very complicated and if you looked at it closely, full of holes. But he hadn't put much thought into it and was more going with instinct than anything else. So when Nami settled in for her night watch Zoro crept out of the men's quarters with stealth, being careful to not wake up any of the other guys, least of all the shitty love-cook. He didn't bother putting his boots on, he could be quiet with them but it was easier without. So barefooted he stole across the deck and slowly made his way up in to the crow's nest.

Zoro was barely able to contain his gasp when he lifted the hatch. There in front of him sat Nami, her knees were up and she was hugging them to her chest. She stared out into the sky with a wistful look on her face and her eyes seemed suspiciously bright. There was a layer of goose bumps covering her tanned skin and he wished he had brought a blanket. After a moment, not wanting to get caught staring, things between them were awkward enough as it was, he cleared his throat announcing his presence. Her head whipped around startled and she let out a small cry .

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Zoro mumbled.

"You didn't. I was just surprised that's all. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you a question."

"It couldn't wait till the morning? What is it?"

"I was wondering what had been bothering you for the last few weeks."

His question seemed to throw her but he thought he saw something that looked suspiciously like hope well up in her eyes. He couldn't help thinking that her eyes made him think of caramel being stirred into chocolate.

"Why do you care?" she asked her voice even, but it was a hard fought evenness.

Zoro wasn't sure what to say. "It was a challenge" didn't seem to be the right thing and he doubted she would appreciate hearing that.

"Because we're nakama. And that's what friends do."

It was true enough and he figured that's what she wanted to hear. He didn't notice the hope that died with his words but he realized she was shutting herself off from him, closing in on herself even further.

"I'm fine, I just haven't been sleeping well. I'll be better in a day or two." Nami replied with forced coldness.

Zoro didn't believe a word she said, this was more than just lack of sleep and even if that's only what it was, what had been bothering her enough to keep her up for weeks on end. Either way he recognized her dismissal so he bid her goodnight and slipped out of the crow's nest. He made his way back to his cold, empty hammock and fell into a fitful sleep.

Clearly his aggressive approach had backfired. He should have seen that the biggest and most obvious flaw in his plan was that it required Nami to be honest and forth-coming with her problem. It seemed that that wasn't going to be the case so Zoro needed a new plan to solve this issue. As he robotically went through his exercise regime he pondered a way to get through to her.

The problem was that Zoro liked things to be straightforward. He didn't need any of this mind games bullshit. He recognized that Nami was hurting and shouldn't that be enough for the woman? He had asked, why couldn't she just share her problems and let him or someone else help her out. Zoro knew that the vixen of a navigator was stubborn, when she set her mind to something it was pretty much good as done. While that might be true Zoro was equally stubborn and right now he was determined to find out what was bothering her whether she wanted him to or not.

He waited until late afternoon, Sanji would be in the kitchen preparing dinner by then so his plan wouldn't be foiled by one of his idiotic love shows. As soon as he saw her head off to her map room he jumped up and followed after her, knowing that it might be his only chance to get her alone. He stalked into the small room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

"Zoro? What are you doing?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"Lie to you? What are you talking about?"

"Last night you said it was lack of sleep but I don't believe it."

"Why would I lie to you about that? I'm just tired, could you please go."

"Fine, you haven't been sleeping well. Why?"

"What?"

"Why can't you sleep? What is bothering you?"

"..."

"Is it nightmares? Insomnia? Some kind of sickness?"

"I-I I don't know."

"Have you seen Chopper?"

"Why would I see Chopper?"

"Because he's a doctor, maybe he can give something to help you sleep."

"Oh yeah. If I go talk to him will you leave it be?"

"Sure"

"Fine I'll talk to him after dinner. Now leave."

Zoro backed out of the map room, not feeling any better about the situation. He had noticed several crumpled half-finished maps littering the floor around her desk and it bothered him on some core level. There was something fundamentally different with Nami. It wasn't like her to mess up or not finish maps, nor was it like her to use words like 'please' around him. The few times she said please it was with a sickening falseness and merely rubbed in the fact that he was being manipulated. He waited for the usual anger that accompanied thoughts of her manipulation but it never came. Instead there was a begrudging respect, almost amusement at how much control she had managed to have over him without even trying too much.

These new sentiments shook him hard and he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Feeling slightly nauseous and gasping for breath, Zoro staggered to the edge of the ship, staring into the water they were slicing through without effort. Where had all of his carefully constructed disdain, annoyance and irritation gone? Swearing he determined now more than ever he had to get to the bottom of this so that things would go back to normal. These new feelings had to be pushed away, locked down before they had the chance to become permanent.