sasuke: OH MY LUCKY STARS!
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(Touka POV)
Me, Sasuke, and Naruto approached the Ninja Academy, to take the first part of the Chuunin Exams. I was, as usual, henge'd into myself-- the Third Hokage had registered me, the real me, as a ninja of Konoha, so I didn't have to pretend to be Sakura anymore. The news of my... switch was still getting around. Not everybody knew as of yet.
"You guys sure about this?" I asked for the umpteenth time. "These exams are pretty dangerous--"
"Are we going to die?" Sasuke asked.
I blinked. "Well, you didn't in the original even though Sakura did very little, and I'm actually useful, so--"
"Then what's the problem?" The avenger asked.
I smacked myself in the forehead. "Oh, fine. It's your business..."
Naruto grinned teasingly. "If you don't want to participate, Touka, then--"
"No, I'll be okay! Nothing important happens to Sakura here except for a bad haircut. You guys well, you'll both come out a alive and you won't break any bones or anything..."
"Then what's the problem?" Sasuke repeated.
"Nothing..." I sighed. "Just... just... nevermind."
"Wow," Naruto noted, "You're being all quiet and stuff. Are you depressed or something?"
"I'm tired," I said, "That's all. I'll wake up soon enough..." I chuckled.
We entered the academy building and went up the first flight of stairs. I giggled at the genjutsu above the door-- and how many stupid people it had fooled. I wouldn't even have looked until the third floor.
I waved at the people in front of the door. "Hi, Izumo! Hi, Kotetsu!" (a/n: lol the spellcheck thought their names were 'issue' and 'cutest'!)
"Huh?" Chibi-Izumo said. "I- I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Riiight..." I said sarcastically. "I'm just gonna go to the right floor now."
"TOUKA-SAN!" I was attacked with a hug... a green, spandex-clad hug.
I grinned. "Lee-kun!" I grabbed one of his arms. "Second Amendment," I chuckled, squeezing said arm.
"Second what?" Lee asked.
I sighed. "Nevermind, you guys don't have the Constitution. Banshou-chan would get it! Except not, because she's doesn't speak Japanese. Just English. ... And some French."
"English and French?" Sasuke asked. "Where you come from people speak English and French? Becuase here-- "
"I know, I know. English is the Fire Country's old language, and the Wind Country used to speak French. Only aristocrats, people from prestigious clans, and Naru-chan know those languages."
"Old Man Hokage taught me!" Naruto said, grinning. "But the only other language I know is English. No French or Spanish or anything else like that."
"I speak English, French, Spanish, and Italian," Neji said, smirking.
I stuck out my tongue at said jackass. "Oh rub it in, why don't you," I said sarcastically.
He smirked. "How are you today?" he asked. ( these things mean English)
I grinned. "Very well, thank you. Have you killed anyone today?"
He frowned. "No, Touka, I haven't."
"Really? That's surprising, you're an ass."
Neji blinked in confusion. "What is 'ass'?"
I started laughing, but I wouldn't tell him the answer. People here speak English, but they don't know all the slang yet.
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(ROCK LEE POV WOOT)
Touka-san walked away with her teammates, out the door to the stairs hallway.
"Wait!" I yelled, running after them.
Touka-san turned to face me. "Yes, Lee-kun? What is it?"
"Your teammates..." I said, "They are Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, correct?"
"You are correct," I chuckled. "Why?"
I turned to the Uchiha boy, the fire of youth raging within my soul.
"Uchiha Sasuke!" I announced. "I challenge you!"
He smirked. "You know that I had the top scores in all my class, right?"
I nodded. "That is why I must beat you!" I said. "I am the strongest gennin of Konoha here!"
Touka giggled and winked at me, for I was merely bluffing. This is different than lying in the sense that I fully intended to tell Sasuke the truth later.
"Well, then!" I said. "Come at me!"
Sasuke lazily took a kunai out and charged me cockily, fully underestimating my prowess as a ninja. Or dodged easily and gave him a kick that made him hit the wall.
Sasuke detached himself from the wall and activated his sharingan, then charged again.
I avoided him easily, then gave him another kick.
This continued for awhile. Even though Sasuke had the added advantage of the Sharingan, it mattered not, because of my superior speed and agility.
Eventually, I decided that I should finish the fight. I began to pull off the bandages on my arms, but they were pinned to the wall by a flying pinwheel that came form behind me.
"Gai-sensei!" I gasped, then turned to face the large turtle that is my youthful sensei's summon.
"Lee!" the turtle chided. "That attack is for emergencies only."
"I am sorry, sensei!" I said, bowing my head, for I knew that my sensei was nearby and listening to this conversation.
"Get ready, Lee," the turtle said gruffly. "Because here comes Gai-sensei!"
There was puff of smoke above the turtle, and there was Gai-sensei, in one of his poses. Truthfully, I found this particular pose to be not particularly youthful, but I said nothing, and had not chance to.
"LEE!" Gai-sensei punched me in the face. "I told you many times before-- that attack is only to be used when one's life is in danger or while protecting someone important to you!!"
"Hai, sensei!" I exclaimed, saluting though my jaw was partly swollen. "I understand!"
"LEE!" Gai said joyously. "You are truly a youthful boy!"
"SENSEI!!" I hugged my teacher.
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"MAITO GAI!" Touka-san yelled, approaching us with her face contorted in anger. "You have hit your student once more! For someone claiming to be youthful, you are truly acting like someone who was born three, no four, generations previously!" she hit Gai-sensei on the shoulder with the backside of her hand.
"In the place that I come from, this behavior is known as child abuse! And you would have certainly been impounded by now or fined! If Lee was your son, he's have been moved to a different household! If you dare strike him again, I shall call tell Kakashi what really happened to his first copy of Icha Icha Paradise, and your clean record shall be unyouthfully smudged for ever! Do you understand!"
"Touka-san," I gasped. "When ever did you become so youthful?"
"Yeah, seriously," Sasuke-san said warily. "How long have you been like that?" he edged away from Touka-san slowly.
She turned to Sasuke, smirking in a manner most cocky.
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(Sasuke POV)
"Don't be stupid," she said, "I was merely speaking their language. If you want someone to fully understand you, you have to put things more like they would in the same situation." She smirked. "Does that make sense to you, stupid?"
I growled. "Don't imitate me."
Touka stuck out her tongue. "C'mon, we're gonna be late!"
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(Kabuto POV)
I yawned. Since Uchiha Sasuke hadn't entered through the door yet, I had nothing to do except glare at one of the gennin teams from our village when they got too loud. Which didn't happen. So I had nothing to do.
Then, the door opened and a girl with orange hair bounced in, humming something. I gasped.
That person wasn't in my records! Who was she?
She was followed by Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke.
'That's funny,' I thought. 'I thought that their teammate was Haruno Sakura. ... Maybe she chickened out or something.'
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(Sakura POV)
I stuck out my tongue at Kabuto the computer screen.
"I'm no chicken!" I yelled.
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(Touka POV)
As soon as we entered the room, we were approached by Team Asuma.
"So," Ino said awkwardly, looking me up and down, "It's not just a rumor? Sakura, for the past year...?"
I nodded. "The part about you being an anime character is true, too," I said. "Or did you hear that part?"
"I did..." Ino said, breaking into a grin. "SO, tell me! Do people ever put me with Sasuke in the fanbase?"
I sweatdropped mentally. "Occasionally... but since you hardly ever talk to him except to tell him how much you love him and or whatever, there seems to be little cannon proof."
She glared. "Are you implying that I don't stand a chance?"
Sasuke smirked. "She may not be, but I sure am. I'm dating Naruto."
Shikamaru's eyes widened, Chouji's mouth fell open, and Ino gasped.
"Really, you are? Say it isn't so!" Ino whispered, frightened.
"I would," Sasuke chuckled, "But then I'd be lying. In fact, I've liked Naruto since I was about seven or eight."
I smiled widely. "Really Sasuke? That long?"
Sasuke nodded. "That long. The rumor about me liking girls with long hair? That originated from his Oiroke no Jutsu."
"So..." Kuro-chan drawled, approaching the group, "It's not that you're gay, it's that you only like Naruto?"
"Something like that," Sasuke muttered.
Kuro-chan laughed. "Oh, look he's blushing!"
"When you put it that way..." Ino said, "Maybe I can accept that. But Naruto better not break his heart!"
I laughed again. "That definitely won't be the problem." I thought of the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, and was marginally pissed at Sasuke for a moment before my mind returned to the conversation at hand.
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(Gaara POV)
I noticed the anime girl... Yaezaki Touka, was it? Enter the room and start conversing loudly.
I approached the group calmly and said:
"Shut. Up."
Followed by one of my better glares.
Touka started laughing.
"Again," she said breathlessly (her, unable to breathe? ha! I wish), "Awesome entrance."
The girl standing next to her, a Hyuuga by the looks of it, nodded. "I bet Kishimoto-san did a close-up on the eyes for that glare."
"WHAT?" Touka yelled. "You mean-- my actions are a part of the manga too now?"
"Yep!" The Hyuuga girl said. "The anime too. You voice is done by the girl who did Misa for Death Note."
"Hmmm..." said Touka. "Fitting. Wait..." she gasped. "The fanbase! Oh no... do I want to know what they did to me?"
The Hyuuga smirked. "I've seen you paired with--"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo nononono! No! I don't wanna hear it, I don't need those thoughts bouncing around in my head!"
I blinked (not something I do often). "So my current actions are being recorded and broadcast on TV where you come from?"
Touka giggled. "I guess so. Hey, mine too!" she looked up at the ceiling and waved.
"Hi mom! Don't let Yuki steal my hat. Or my other hat, or any of my hats. Particularly the hat."
"Don't worry," the Hyuuga said, "We thought your sister might steal your hats before Sakura knew they belonged to you, so we put them in Kei's house along with your CD's, your volumes of Harry Potter, and your manga books."
"Oh, good," Touka breathed. "Oh, hey. Gaara, the is Kuro-chan, and she's from where I come from, and has also read the manga."
"I introduced her to the manga, too," Kuro noted. "And, of course, I know who you are, and you already know Tou-chan."
I felt one of my eyes twitch. "Yaezaki... is your father?"
"You used my last name!" Touka gasped. "How polite!" she seemed to be in some sort of awe. "Usually anime characters are so rude... anyway, 'Tou-chan' in my nickname, derived from my first name, like 'Kuro-chan' is derived from 'Kuroko.' See?"
"Yes," I said, closing my eyes. "And I didn't call you by your last name to be polite. I did it to be distant."
"You say that like it's a positive thing," Touka noted. "Usually, being distant is a bad idea. Since humans are designed so they can depend on one another, or they become lonely."
"If that's the case," I said, my voice low, "I must not be human." I walked off to my sib-- teammates, itching to kill the girl who claimed I was an anime character.
I'd do it later. In the part of the exams where killing is allowed.
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(Kabuto POV)
I approached the loud, annoying group of gennin.
"You know," I said, "If you continue being this loud, you'll make a ruckus. You're attracting the attention of other gennin and now they'll be more likely to attack you later."
Uzumaki Naruto paled. "Really?" he turned to the orange-haired girl. "Is he telling the truth, Touka-chan?"
The girl, whose name appeared to be Touka, glared. "In this case, Naru-kun, yes. But don't take his words to seriously--" she grinned. "He's taken these exams like eight times."
"So wouldn't he know more about these exams than anyone?" asked Hyuuga Hinata, There was something... off about the Hyuuga heiress. She seemed much more... confident than usual. "Not counting us, of course."
A voice chuckled behind me. "You might right there." It was a lilting, carefree voice that spoke. "You're not, by any chance, also known as the Peachy Girl, are you?"
"How do you know about that!?" the orange-haired girl gasped.
It owner of the voice was a gennin with chin-length blue hair and pointy teeth.
"Why are mist-nin here?" I asked. "I thought they weren't on friendly terms with the village!"
"They weren't," the boy said lazily, "Before the recent revolution."
I blinked. "The revolution of four years ago? Weren't the participants of that all ranked as S-Classed missing-nin?"
The boy grinned. "Well, yes, but two of them came back and finished what they started. But not before they ran into Peachy Girl here back in Wave Country."
Touka gasped. "You mean... Haku-kun and Zabuza-san?"
"Who else?" The blue-haired boy smirked, his sharklike teeth glinting in the light. "If I can pass these exams, I'm getting Kisame-sempai's old spot amoung the swordsmen. Oh, yeah, and Zabuza-san's the Mizukage."
"Really?" Touka's eyes widened."So he's reaching his dream..." She smiled contentedly. "Bet that makes Haku-kun happy."
"Bet you it does," the boy said. "And just out of curiosity... you knew their names before because of some weird circumstance, right?"
Touka nodded. "Not telling you what it is, though. No spoilers!
The boy nodded. "That's okay. I was just wondering-- do you know who I am?"
"Well, I could be wrong, but it seems to me like you're the person who it was said would follow in Zabuza's footsteps and become the next Demon of the Mist. You're Suigetsu! Right?"
"Correct! You win a prize." Suigetsu handed Touka a piece of paper and walked away.
... Wait. Suigetsu? I'd heard of him at least. What Touka had said about him was true. In addition, I knew that he's spent a good deal of his younger years here in Konoha under 'Roots' as part of a treaty with Mist. Eventually, they'd given him back.
I wondered if anyone in Konoha knew him from back then. Maybe that was how Touka knew him.
Who was she, anyway?
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(Touka POV)
I giggled, rubbing the folded-over piece of paper with my thumbs. The paper was smooth, a good quality. If it wasn't a letter from Haku, I'd draw on it later.
Slowly, I unfolded the paper.
Touka-san,
Well, as Suigetsu may or may not have told you, Zabuza-san is the Mizukage now. I've been named his assistant, which means I have to run around all day and make sure he does his paperwork, which he doesn't mind too much.
He really loves our country, you know. He did all that work for Gatou and people like him, all to earn enough money to be able to come back here and regain this village's honor. It's not going to be easy, but we'll get there eventually.
Zabuza-san is coming to Konoha for the last part of the Chuunin exams, and I'll be coming with him, so don't die during the second part.
Oh, and if Suigetsu asks, tell him you don't speak English. His English is painfully horrible.
Sincerely,
Haku
P.S. I'm taking back that kiss you stole.
As I read the last line, I felt heat rise to my face. I started mentally danced up and down. Physically, I started waving a fist around from the elbow (a classic animetard maneuver when met with 'kawaii' situations. --rolls eyes--)/
'Cha! Way to go Touka-chan!' Inner Sakura cheered.
"Well?" Sasuke asked. "What is it?"
"Is it a love note form Haku-kun?" Naruto chuckled, grinning cheekily.
I grinned. "Well... it's a note from Haku-kun."
"Is he mad at you for raping him?" Kuro-chan asked.
I blushed again. "I DIDN'T RAPE HIM!!"
"Two questions," Ino said. "One, why are you talking in English?"
"Because it's our main language," I said. "And because less people understand it."
"And two..." Ino grinned evilly. "Who's Haku?" she grabbed the letter.
"Hey, give that back!" I grabbed for my letter, but Ino held it away from me and kept moving it around to I couldn't get it. Kuro-chan grabbed the letter from Ino and read it. She grinned and gave it to Sasuke.
"You guys..." I whined half-heartedly. "That's none of your business."
"Yes, but you took pictures of me kissing Naruto. This is payback," Sasuke said, passing the letter to Naruto. (a/n: wow, Sasuke has vengeance issues. what else is new?)
After a minute, Naruto joined the others in grinning evilly.
"You kissed him?" Naruto said slyly. "When was that?"
"Right before we left," I mumbled. "I thought I wouldn't get another chance, so... I kinda... just grabbed him by the shoulders... and... yeah." My face was the now in about the same spot on the color spectrum as Gaara's hair.
"Don't think about it!" Kuro-chan yelled suddenly. "If replay it in your head, you'll have a flashback and waste episode time."
"Too late," I said, replaying the scene on my head.
"Could you guys quiet down?" yelled one of the gennin already seated at a table. "I'm trying to meditate and you're hurting my eardrums. Gossip outside."
I walked up to the girl and grinned. "Tsuchi Kin, right?"
She looked at me mutely, and nodded.
"Sorry," I apologized, "I have a high lung capacity, sometimes I can't quite control myself. Since I'm excited right now, dear, I'm loud."
"You should've been a Sound-nin," said one of the boys sitting with her, who I assumed was Zaku. "You could've used that voice for one helluva jutsu."
I grinned cheekily. "Good idea. Remind me to be extra loud when I fight you and you'll see what happens." I thought of my Scream jutsu and giggled.
These bastards wouldn't know what was coming.
Then, Morino Ibiki entered the room.
"I am Morino Ibiki, the head of the Interrogations in this village!" he announced. "I'm going to be the proctor for the first part of these exams!"
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me: phew, glad I finally finished a chapter. sorry if there was too much drabble and not enough plot. I had sooo many ideas for this section.
sasuke: why is Zabuza the Mizukage?
me: because Haku lives for Zabuza, and his dream is to see Zabuza's dreams come true (he said so, look it up). Who am I to mess with Haku's dreams?
naruto: ... WHY THE RAPE JOKES?! sniff
me: lol. you think we've got a lot NOW?! wait'll orochimaru gets into the picture...
TT/u\TT
btw, I don't own Naruto, Sasuke, or anyone else, but since Kishimoto killed Haku I figure I can keep him.
what did you think of this chapter? Tell me!