Dance of the Flower Petals Chapter 15: Language du Jour, a naruto fanfic

Me: gee, sorry for taking so long! I had to track down neji and hang him from the ceiling by his ankles.

neji: mmmph! jkhfeukjgrgv! (translation: hey! lemme go!)

Me: stfu neji. (whacks neji upside the head with a dead fish)

sasuke: hey, can I try that?

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

(Sakura POV)

"All that change, and I end up doing the same thing, in the same place," I sighed.

I was sitting in front of the same hollow tree as I had in this part of the story in the original manga and anime, guarding the same two boys form my year at the academy-- Naruto and Sasuke.

There were only three differences.

Difference One: I wasn't technically a ninja yet. Touka was the ninja. I still hadn't passed the gennin exams, even if Touka had while still inhabiting this body.

Difference Two: I guarding not only Naruto and Sasuke, but also Touka, Banshou and Kei-chan. They were all also asleep, hugging each other (FIVE PERSON HUG!). I took a picture with Touka's digital camera, which was in my kunai holster. Since Touka had put it there. When she was me. In my body.

Damn, that's confusing...

Difference Three: If that Kin girl grabbed my hair this time, I was going to slit her wrists and not my silky pink locks. I was going to cut my hair, but I was going to get it done properly, at a hair salon. Not in the middle of a death trap like this forest.

"Hey... anyone else awake?" Touka whispered raising her head.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Touka. I always sleep sitting up like this."

"Ah... Sakura." Touka carefully wormed her way out from between Banshou and Kei-chan, crawling over to sit next to me. She started stretching her legs.

"I see I'm physically inflexible as ever," Touka muttered. "i'll need to work on that. Hey, Sakura?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"How's everyone back home doing?" Touka questioned.

"Well," I said, "Everyone in your family except Mika-chan and Teppei know about the whole switching thing. So, your mom, your dad, and Yuki all know about it. I guess they're worried about you... Oh, and Yuki's annoying. Really annoying. And so are the other two. But they're not as as bad as Yuki."

"Yuki's always been annoying," Touka sighed. "I love her and all but... yeesh. Oh, and anything she said about me was probably a lie or an extreme exaggeration."

"So you didn't put a poster of Seto Kaiba on your wall three years ago?" I asked, smirking.

Touka rolled her eyes. "I drew. A picture. And I don't still like him anyway. Nor do I still like Trunks from Dragon Ball in any form, and I never had a crush on Sasuke. My heart belongs completely to Haku in that regard. Anything else she said you needed to know about?"

I thought for a minute. "No, other than the fact that she says you hit her when she ticks you off."

"Yeah," Touka laughed sheepishly. "That one's kind of true. I'm not exactly the best of older siblings. I was pretty violent back then..." she smiled. "I'm getting better, though. Getting better, all the time... couldn't get no worse..."

"I'm sure you weren't that bad..." I said.

Touka shook her head. "Even Uchiha Itachi, the cornerstone of bad older-siblingship, never hit his siblings because he felt like it."

"Because you... felt like it?" I asked.

"Yup," Touka sighed. "I've kicked my sister more than once out of boredom. And you know that scar on Yuki's forehead? That was my fault too. I was running around the house with her favorite barbie doll, and she was chasing me. Then she ran into a sharp corner on the linoleum kitchen counter. There was lot of blood..." she narrowed her eyes. "But I didn't really get it. I thought her screams of pain were merely... annoying. When my parents dropped me off at my friends house, I rejoiced in Yuki's not being there."

"When exactly was this?" I questioned slowly (I was reminded suddenly of the Gaara-hospital scene in the original manga plot-line).

Touka scowled. "I was five. I didn't really get it back then... looking back, I realize children are heartless creatures sometimes. They don't understand the affects their actions have on others..."

She smiled proudly. "I really have improved since those days. Now, my most violent acts outside of when I'm actually fighting is the hugging I ensue on other people."

"And what you did to Haku before you left Wave?" I teased.

"Ack!" Touka gasped. "The anime covered that, did they?"

"Nah," I laughed. "We just get a scene where Haku goes, 'she kissed me.' No actual kissing is shown. The fanbase felt extremely cheated. So now there's like a million fanarts of--"

"I get it, I get it," Touka laughed. "Can we not talk about that? While I'm kind of glad I did it, I'm not exactly proud of it. It was a point where I lost the self-control I've spent this year as you penting up... not that I have much around that guy to begin with. He's so damn beautiful! But enough of my creepy fangirl rantings. Those Oto-nin could show up any minute now..."

"True," I laughed.

As if on cue, there was a rustling in the bushes.

(Kin POV)

"Look, there he is." Zaku grinned. "Uchiha Sasuke. The one Orochimaru-sama ordered us to take out."

"I know," Dosu said. "You've said that three times in the past ten minutes."

I rolled my eyes. Dosu and Zaku are still under the illusion that Orochimaru cares about all of his ninja, which I know is wrong.

Orochimaru only cares about himself. He experiments on people whether or not he wants to, cloaking it all in his fake sympathy. Case in point: Sakon and Ukon. They weren't always in the same body, you know.

I'd leave the Sound Village if I could. But I'm afraid.

Silently (except for Zaku's excited breathing), we watched the two girls with fluorescent (orange and pink, respectively) have their extremely confusing conversation.

"He's so damn beautiful!" the orange-haired girl was saying. "But enough of my creepy fangirl rantings. Those Oto-nin could show up any minute now..."

"Huh?" Zaku muttered. "How could she know?"

"Don't ask me," Dosu whispered."

"WE CAN HEAR YOU!" The pink-haired girl yelled. "JUST COME OUT OF THERE ALREADY!"

"NO!" Dosu shouted back.

The orange-haired girl grinned. "There isn't much you can do to hurt us, anyway. We know how your techniques work!" she grinned cheesily.

"Oh, yeah?" Zaku shouted. "We'll see about that!" He stomped into the clearing.

The girl stood up and took three steps towards him. "By all means. Come at me, then," she challenged.

Zaku growled angrily and charged, only to fall into a particularly deep pit trap a few centimeters in front of the redhead's feet.

The girl smiled condescendingly. "Rage will blind you, Zaku-san. I only know this because it used to happen to me all too often. Dosu-san, Kin-san, you could come out if you wish. I don't particularly wish to fight either of you, you know."

One of the people sitting in the cave sat up, a boy with spiky blonde hair.

"Touka-chan's in politeness-mode," he mumbled. "What's going on?"

"Since I have not truthfully met these people before, it's only reasonable that I greet them politely," the orange-head, apparently called Touka.

I was astounded by this girl's calmness, if she knew she was going to be attacked by us. She must have a good control on her emotions.

"Huh?" the boy looked around. "I don't see anyone..."

"Neither do I!" Touka said perkily. "Buuuuut... I know they're in hiding in there soooooomewheeeeeeeeeeere!"

Remember what I said about Touka's calmness? Forget it. All of it.

"Kin-san, Dosu-san, who are you hiding?" Touka called in song-song. "If you're trying to ambush us, you can forget it. We don't have two scrolls yet, so if you don't show yourselves we'll attack you."

Dosu jumped at Touka.

"How dare you force Zaku into your trap!" He yelled, swinging his arm, and the holed weapon thereof, down at Touka.

(Dosu POV)

I smirked at myself as I swung my arm down at this annoying orange-headed girl. If she dodged my strike, the sounds of the air whistling through the holes in my arm-brace would screw with her ears and mess up her sense of balance.

She didn't sidestep the blow. Was she stupid or did she just have bad reflexes? She just stood there as my arm came down at her head.

Oh well, Either way, this was one of the expected outcomes.

What was not expected was for her to bring up her arm and block, sweeping my arm away form her in an arc.

"Did you mishear me, Dosu-san?" Touka said mockingly. "I said, I know your techniques. In the original plot-line, you injured Lee-kun's sense of balance with this attack. I'm not the most balanced person as it is, so I couldn't afford such a loss."

She grabbed the arm she'd knocked away and spun in a circle, dragging me along with her. I tried to bring up my free arm, but she grabbed it too, and her spinning speeded up.

She started to spin towards where Kin was standing (I started to get dizzy).

Then, using my flying feet as a weapon, she knocked Kin over so that she was on the ground.

Kin growled an tried to attack her, but before she could get close enough to land a blow, Touka had used me as a weapon once again.

Then, Kin tried throwing needles, but most of them hit me instead. Touka wasn't just using me as a whirling weapon, I was also a shield.

I was used to knock Kin over one final time before Touka let go of me. I flew into a large tree and don't remember much after that. When I try too look back, my brain goes all... foggy... and I start to feel dizzy again.

(Kin POV)

"Kin-san, you seem to be losing," Touka said, smiling apologetically. "I really don't feel like hurting anyone else, so if I could have your scroll now it would be most appreciated."

"No!" I said. "Never!"

"... That was an extremely cheesy and stereotypical villain-type thing to say," Touka noted, talking mostly to herself. "I've never heard that phrase used seriously before..."

"That's because people joke a lot more where you come from," the pink-haired girl said pointedly. "Your terminology, for instance. People get called 'freak' by their friends and they're just joking. People get called 'demon' and it's a compliment."

The blonde boy seemed shocked by this. "Touka-chan, is that true?"

"Oh, yeah," Touka said. "Usually it refers to someone who is particularly strong or fast. You know, He's a demon on the battlefield. Woah, dude, you're so fast! A speed demon! If I said that to someone in this world, I'd get glared at and the person would be extremely offended. And I would inexplicably become brutally injured."

"That's... weird," the blonde said slowly. "Don't you have demons where you come from?"

"If we did," Touka shrugged, "We don't anymore. I don't think they existed in the first place. To me, a demon is something you only find in anime or manga. Usually, it's because there's a character who's a half demon or a full demon, or is the carrier of a demon, and is generally a good guy, but has anger management issues or a bad reputation because of his lineage. Or, they were evil and they turned a new leaf. So, my view of demons is kinda twisted, see? I don't necessarily see them as evil. But this has nothing to do with the current situation."

She turned back to me. "Kin-san, please," she said, her eyes softening. "All i want is a little, insignificant piece of paper. Is it really that hard...? To give up, when you're not fighting for yourself but for the approval of a superior?"

I gasped. She couldn't possibly know about Orochimaru!

"It may be the case that you look up to him," Touka continued. "Or maybe, you no longer respect the man, but you want to stay alive. Either way... it'd be pretty easy for you to disappear if you took your teammates and left just now. He would never have to know. He would assume you were dead. And as long as you lay low, in the right town, he'd probably never find out..."

"What do you want?" I hissed. "If you're offering to get me away from Orochimaru, then save it. You're no worse than he is."

"I ask for nothing." Touka grinned. "I don't want people die just because I didn't save them."

"You're lying," I accused. "You just want me to work for you instead of him."

Touka's eyes narrowed. "So you would liken me unto that sort of person? The sort who has people respect them, has people love them, only to have that person die to reach their goals? To kill them, themself? I'm not like that. If I wanted something for myself, I'd get it by myself. If I wanted someone dead, I'd be straightforward about it. I'm not a manipulating bastard. That's my least favorite sort of person..."

I raised an eyebrow. "And even if I did run, where would I go?"

Touka shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "A small civilian town maybe, probably somewhere remote. Or if you could find Akatsuki, I'm sure they'd be glad for any information off of Orochimaru... on second thought, no. That would be a very good way to get yourself killed. I'll give them the info myself. I know where one of them will be in a while..."

"Good luck with that," I said, rolling my eyes. This girl was obviously set on annoying every powerful ninja in the bingo book, and if she wanted to kill herself that badly, that wasn't my problem. "I'm just gonna go now..." I tossed the scroll at them, sighing. "Please don't kill my teammates."

"I won't!" Touka promised.

(Sasuke POV)

When I woke up, Naruto was the first thing I saw.

... Heh.

"Oh!" Naruto looked down at me and smiled. "Good morning, teme!"

I pulled the dobe down so he was lying next to me. "... If I've woken up better ways, I can't think of them just now," I whispered in his ear. As predicted, Naruto blushed and I couldn't help but smirk.

Then, there was a flash of light, signifying that Touka had just taken a picture of me and Naruto's... position (lying next to each other with my hands on his shirt).

I raised my head to glare at her.

"Sorry!" she said, smiling apologetically. "I promised Kuro-chan I'd take a picture if anything like this happened! And Kuro-chan's the second to last person I'd want to anger... the first being Banshou-chan, of course." Touka shivered. "When she's angry, it's SCARY..."

"Good thing she can't speak Japanese or she might take offense in that," Sakura giggled. "And then you'd have angered her."

"Nah, Banshou-chan doesn't lose her temper very often. I've only really seen it once. But, since it's infrequent, it's even scarier..." Touka grinned.

"That's right," I noted. "If you see something that scares you too often, it might not scare you anymore. Hmm... where you come from, people speak English? So your friends wouldn't know Japanese..."

"Banshou-chan is fairly proficient at speaking French, though," Touka said.

Sakura nodded. "Fluent, now, actually," she said.

"I've missed a lot..." Touka sighed. "Is Kei-chan fluent in Japanese, too?"

"No, not yet," Sakura laughed. "I've been teaching her about ninjutsu, but I haven't taught her about Japanese. She wanted to learn it from that lady who taught it at your school."

Touka's eyes brightened. "You mean Nakahara-sensei? Well, she is awesome... not as awesome as my karate shihan, but awesome nontheless..."

"Speaking of which," Sakura said, "I figured you'd want to earn your black belt by yourself, so I didn't take your appearance to karate. I went as myself, except with black hair."

"Hey, what is your natural hair color?" Touka asked curiously. (I was curious too, but since Sakura is a creepy fangirl and she disturbs me, I said nothing.)

"I don't remember," Sakura giggled, "The women in my family dye their hair from a young age. It's a mark of our descendance from... once of my ancestors, I guess. I heard she was pretty strong, so I guess the pink hair makes me feel more confident."

"Woah," Touka said. "That's the total opposite of the reason I dye my hair..."

Naruto blinked. "How would lying about your... your... your what-you-look-like (I think he meant 'appearance') make you feel better dattebayou?"

Touka smiled warmly. "There's just someone I'd rather not look like, is all," she said, her tone reminiscent. "When my hair was its natural color, everyone said I looked like her. Even though she was gone, and remembering her hurt their feelings. I felt like I was hurting them... it wasn't a good feeling."

"Wait... TOUKA DYES HER HAIR, TOO?!" Naruto yelled. He woke up Banshou and Kei, who had still been asleep. "WHY?"

"Well, Touka's naturally blonde. The relative was blonde too, I guess," Sakura said. "But seriously, Touka! You're, like, eight in that picture on the mantelpiece. your parents a said you started dying your hair about half a year after that picture was taken! If you died your hair when you were eight and a half, that's three and a half years of dying your hair! Isn't that a bit much? If you could remember being blonde, why'd you switch for that long?"

"That's not me on the mantelpiece," Touka said. "That's her. I'm the four-year-old in that picture. I've been a redhead for seven and a half years."

Sakura's eyes widened. "Oh. Gee..."

"What's going on?" Banshou muttered, sitting up (Kei had fallen back asleep).

"Touka dyed her hair because she looks like that girl on the mantelpiece picture," Sakura said.

Banshou blinked. "Oh, is that why? And to think, we all thought that girl was Touka..."

"No, it wasn't," Touka said. "I'm the toddler. How'd you know about my hair anyway?"

"Ummm..." Sakura grinned sheepishly. "I got curious?"

"So you washed years and years of hair dye out," Touka said flatly.

"Umm, yes?" Sakura said. Touka rolled her eyes, and then something must have occurred to her, because she gasped.

(Touka POV)

Wait! If Sakura has washed out the hair dye, then... what if she'd never put it back?

I dropped the henge, reverting back to what my body really looked like (remember, the form I'd been using before was what I'd looked like when I was eleven, before Sakura got to me).

The first thing I noted was that fact that I was wearing a backpack.

And it was heavy.

But that wasn't important. The main thing was...

I grabbed a lock of my hair and brought it in front of my eyes.

My hair was blonde. And much longer than it used to be. Her hair had been long and blonde. How much did I look like her now? Were we 'almost twins' like my mom used to say, before she left? Seriously, she's eight years older than me. I shouldn't be an exact clone of her.

"I'll just have to dye it again..." I sighed, using English because I'd feel guilty if Banshou-chan was left out of the conversation. "But it'd be confusing if I showed up like this for the tournament-thing. I'll just put the henge back now..." I dropped the backpack. "What's in there, anyway?"

"Harry Potter books one through seven," Sakura said. "Plus some clothing and a note from your parents which I can't read since your dad had really horrible handwriting. Sorry, couldn't help it. I'll carry it..."

"I think I can carry my own books," I said.

Banshou raised her eyebrows. "Touka, if you have them on you you'll start reading them. If you start reading them you won't be able to concentrate on anything else. And then you could... get hurt or die or something. Which would suck."

I laughed. "Yes, yes it would. Should we wake up Kei-chan now?"

(LEE POV W00T)

I was off from my teammates, searching for food and enemies, jumping from tree to tree with youthful exuberance, when I noticed a leaf falling slowly down.

"If I can catch that leaf," I said, "I will find a girlfriend in the next year! And I will defeat Neji-kun and Touka-san will fight me seriously!"

Touka will never let our matches be more than taijutsu sparring, since the time she beat my by using her 'Scream' jutsu. She used to be stronger than me in that regard, but since Gai-sensei had started training me I beat her easier and easier each time. She hardly ever wins with just taijutsu now, and if I am only beating her easily neither of us will get stronger.

But since she knocked me out with the Scream, she feels afraid to fight me seriously.

I chased after the leaf, and would have caught it if it weren't for the bird that flew right past me and snatched it away in its beak.

"... That leaves things undecided!" I decided. "YOSH! I shall make my own destiny!"

Just then, I passed a clearing that was full of people.

I saw flash of pink hair in the clearing, and skidded to a halt.

-- Lee Flashback Mode --

"Touka-san!" I asked, after one of our sparring sessions during the month that I'd known about her bizarre situation. "Why do you keep that henge on, if you are currently technically Haruno-san? Doesn't using a henge form on a regular basis make life considerably more difficult for you?"

"Yeah," Touka said, laughing slightly, stretching her -- or rather, Haruno-san's -- limbs. "You see, I don't really like being compared to other people, because I'm not them. I'm myself. So, pretending to be someone I'm not when people know who I am is silly, since there's only one person who I let people compare me to, and it's not Sakura-san."

"Oh?" I asked. "Who is it, then, Touka-san?"

She smiled. "That person is... the person I was a couple years ago. Since I'm not that person now. I'm better than I used to be. I was weak, rude, violent. But I'm not now. The person who I am currently, is a person better than the person I was even just a year ago. You see?"

"Touka-san..." I said. I felt tears of youthfull-ness springing in my eyes. "That is a beautiful, youthful sing to say! I, too, am stronger than a year ago. In fact, I am stronger than yesterday, stronger than an hour ago, stronger than the last minute!"

Touka grinned exuberantly. "That's the spirit, Lee! Way to show that you care about what you're doing! Let's go find Gai-san and see if he'll buy us yogurt!"

"YOSH!" And we ran off to find my sensei and his youthful wallet.

-- End Flashback --

Why had Touka-san taken off the henge she used to look like herself, if she placed not being anyone besides herself at such high importance?

Slightly confused, I entered the clearing. "Touka-san..." I said. "Didn't you say you were not going to remove the henge over yourself until you were back in your own body?"

"Exactly," said Touka-san. "I'm Haruno Sakura. Touka's over there talking to Banshou-chan."

Oh. Apparently, my youthfulness was lacking if I had not noticed that this was the case. My eyes followed where Haruno-san was pointing, and I saw that Touka was indeede talking to a girl I did not know, who I assumed was Banshou-san.

"Touka-san!" I said with youthful exuberance, "Are you back in the form that you were born in! Let me see your youthful face!"

Touka turned and grinned. "Lee-kun! Glad to see you here uninjured. This is Banshou-chan, she's from Springfield."

I grinned. "Touka-san's own youthful hometown?"

"Yes!" Touka-san said, smiling giddily. "My friend Kei-chan's here too. ... Hey, now that I think of it, could you wake her up for me? She's the one sleeping over there..." She grinned.

"Of course!" I said, walking over to the sleeping form huddled in the back of the tree's hollow. "I would be honored to meet Touka-san's friends!"

(Kei POV)

(Kei speaks english, so the english speech won't be in these pointy thingies, and japanese will be spelled out phonetically (with the translation after it in parentheses))

I was having the strangest dream. I was running from the Bleach character Byakuya, who was invisible, and a creature called a llamallamaduck, when a giant log came down and was about to squish me--

"Kei-san, (Kei)" a somewhat familiar voice whispered. "Okite yo, Kei-san (Wake up, Kei). Kei-san(Kei)? Touka-san no tomodachi (Touka's friend)? Anata wa daijobu desuka (are you okay)? Kei-san (kei)?"

It sounded like Lee. Exactly like Lee. Rock Lee. From Naruto.

But that would be silly. Lee's an anime character. There's no way--

Then, I remembered where I was.

"Lee?!" My eyes snapped open and I looked directly into the face of my favorite anime character, ever. The character I was most a fangirl of, was Rock Lee from Naruto.

Lee smiled, showing off his white, perfect teeth. "Kei-san (Kei)! Boku wa Rock Lee desu (I am Rock Lee)! Hajimemashite (nice to meet you)!"

"Ha-hajimemashite!" I slurred. I'm still learning Japanese, so I don't know very much. Thankfully, I understood what he's said to far... "A... anno (um) ... Ohayo gouzaimasu (good morning)! Touka... Touka-sempai wa... doko desuka (where is Touka... upperclassman Touka)?"

Lee pointed behind him at where my sempai was.

"Sempai (upperclassman)!" I said.

Touka-sempai and Banshou where both laughing. They looked up and smiled apologetically.

"Good morning..." Touka said guiltily. "Sorry... gave you quite a shocker there, didn't we? Kei, this is Lee."

I blushed. "I know that," I mumbled.

"Yes, you do," Touka said smugly. "And that adorable gay couple over there are Sasuke and Naruto... or Naruto and Sasuke? Laaaaaawl. And, of course, you know Banshou, me and Sakura. Sorry about scaring you like that... I couldn't help it..." she started laughing again. "Cute, isn't he?"

I looked at Lee, who was still sitting about two feet away from where I was, smiling infectiously.

Gawsh, I thought, He's... so... cute!

I smiled nervously. "Hi... umm..."

"Oh, right," Touka said. "Lee doesn't speak much English. Chigau (not good). ... So this whole conversation is completely lost on him. Sumimasen, Lee-kun. Kei-chan wa... (sorry about that, Lee. Kei's...)"

She went on to say more, probably about how my Japanese is limited, I but I didn't understand it. I didn't hear her use the word 'suki,' (like) so I'm pretty sure she didn't tell Lee about my huge crush on him. Which would be awkward.

... Actually, considering how Touka likes teasing me, I wouldn't be surprised if she did end up telling him.

"Sensei..." I said. Sakura looked up.

"Yes, Kei?" She asked. Since Sakura had taught me how to use chakra, she was, technically, my sensei-- so that was what I called her.

"... Can you help me learn Japanese so I can talk to Lee?" I asked. "Touka-sempai or Kuro-chan would just make me say the wrong things to tease me."

"Well..." Sakura grinned. "I'll try. They'll probably put me back in the Academy once I get back to civilization, though. But I think you'll learn fast anyway, Kei, since you're always so determined to learn Japanese. A genius of hard work, right? Like Lee."

"Sensei..." I got up and hugged Sakura. "Thank you..."

-- (Lee POV) --

(English goes back into these pointy things now.)

I blinked. Sakura-san was Kei-san's sensei! I could see myself that they had a bond similar to my and Gai-sensei's, a bond of sensei-student friendship.

Of course, no sensei and student could ever be quite as youthful as Gai-sensei and I with our matching demeanors (and outfits), but Sakura and Kei were a rather youthful set themselves. I smiled to myself. Maybe, if I improved in my English, I could talk to Kei-san about student-teacher bonds. She seemed to understand them.

"So, Lee," Touka said curiously. "Are you just stopping by or did you have a reason for showing up? I mean, you showed up at this point in the original, but only because Sakura was being attacked."

I was confused. "But I've never met Sakura-san," I said.

"Yeah, but you were introduced to her before the first part of the exam in the original... yeah. That's kinda confusing, isn't it? Because... yeah..." Touka trailed off. "Why are you here, anyway?

"Ah!" I said, "Thank you for reminding me, Touka-san! I was hoping to fight you."

"Hmmm..." Touka-san said. "Well, gee, Lee-kun. I don't need a scroll off of you... plus, I just finished fighting someone else. I don't have the energy to fight you right now. Later, though. Maybe our paths will cross during the third exam tournament..."

"Touka-san just doesn't have the energy the fight me using only taijutsu," I said. "And I, as well, have been running in search of enemies, scouting for my team. I think we are both a little tired, but if I still want to fight you seriously!"

"Lee-kun..." Touka sighed. "I really, REALLY don't want to fight you. Like, seriously. I'd just get my butt kicked anyway."

"Not if you fought me seriously!" I said stubbornly. "I know that that sound I heard yesterday was your Scream jutsu, Touka-san! Only you could have been that loud!"

"Yup," Haruno-san laughed. "Especially since she got her body back. She has a lung capacity even larger than mine."

"That's more than a little frightening," Sasuke-kun said from his position in the hollow tree, where he was hugging Naruto-kun. Naruto-kun had a blush of red across his face.

"Oi, teme..." Naruto-kun said. "You can let go of me now."

Sasuke-kun smirked. "Just because I can doesn't mean I will."

"Awww..." Touka-san giggled, then turned back to me. "Listen, Lee. I don't want to hurt you almost as much as I don't want you to hurt me." She took out a stick of gum and started chewing it. "I'm telling you, just be on your way. Nobody gets hurt. I'll fight you... later. After the chuunin exams, after we're both healed from any injuries we might have. Kay? It's a promise."

She held out her hand, and I shook it. Then, I bounded off to meet my team.

(Kuro-chan POV)

Akamaru whined.

Shino raised eyebrow. "Is that dog still scared about that sand ninja killing those rain ninja?"

"Yeah, that's part of it," Kiba sighed. "Then, there was that screechy high-pitched noise that we heard yesterday. Gave Akamaru a headache..."

"Poor Akamaru..." I said, scratching the dog behind the ear. "I had sensitive hearing too... in my original body"

"What did you do about it?" Kiba asked confusedly.

"Nothing," I said, "Although I did tell my loud friend to maybe quiet down a little, which she does. Occasionally. However, Hinata's body's hearing is less sensitive, so talking to Touka gives me less headaches as Hinata."

"Touka?" Kiba blinked. "Yeah, I guess she is kind of loud..."

"Only someone as loud as you would say that off-handedly," Shino muttered.

"I'M NOT THAT LOUD!" Kiba yelled.

My hands found their way to my ears out of reflex. "Way to prove your point," I said, smirking. "Foghorn."

"YOU!" Kiba yelled, turning at me. "YOU! ARE! SO..."

My smirk grew wider. "Yes, go on. A warning, though. Those suna-nin are in the building somewhere and they might pissed if you give them headaches."

"...How do you know that?!" Kiba yelled, a little quieter.

"How did Touka know your name?" I asked, rhetorically. "You're all manga characters, remember? I know the names and techniques of those Suna-nin, and I know that if you annoy Gaara, he'll kill you."

"YOU! ARE! OBNOXIOUS!" Kiba yelled, despite my warning. "I WANT TO HIT YOU!"

"But, you won't," I said smugly. "Because you wouldn't want to hurt Hinata-chan."

Kiba's face turned an interesting embarrassed/angry shade of red, as he muttered something that can only be spelled out as 'qefhuireqgbvieukegjhqfv.'

"Awww..." I said mockingly. "Does Kiba-kun have a little cruuush on Hinata-chan?"

"It doesn't help that you're saying that while in Hinata's body," Kiba said through a blushing face and gritted teeth. "Please stop."

I shot him my best Puppy Dog Eyes look. "But Kiba-kuuuun..."

"Stop that!" Kiba pushed me away roughly. "Stop it..."

I grinned. "Okay. For now."

(Hinata POV)

I stared at the computer screen. I'd been reading the scanlations of the latest chapter of 'Naruto,' when Kuroko said something that brought heat to my face.

'Awww... does Kiba-kun have a little cruuush on Hinata-chaaan?' Oumagatoki Kuroko's words echoed in my ears.

Kiba-kun didn't deny it.

Could it be that that he... possibly... liked...

No, how could he? Kiba had always been there for me, but as a friend.

... Right?

(Touka POV)

"Woot!" I proclaimed, putting yet another fish on the end of a stick and roasting it over the fire. "Hunger is the best sauce!"

"You've had five fish already" Sasuke sighed. "Do you ever stop eating?

"That body has an abnormally large stomach," Sakura laughed. "I think it's going through another growth spurt."

"Oh HELL YES!" I exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air. "Six feet tall, here we come! How tall am I right now?"

"About five foot five," Sakura said. "That's three inches taller than Neji."

"And probably still shorter than Haku-kun!" I said. "I guess I get the best of both worlds!"

"Did you just reference Hannah Montana?" Banshou laughed.

I shrugged. "Nobody's perfect, I gotta work it, again and again and again and again..."

"NOOOO!" Banshou said over-dramatically.

"... I don't get it," Naruto said.

"We're referencing a singer whose stuff is overly cheesy and usually obnoxious," Sakura explained. "But her music is still better than what we get here, so I sort of like it..." she admitted sheepishly.

"Hey, that's all right," I said. "I like some of her stuff too. Hey, Isn't Kabuto supposed to show up at this point?"

As if on cue, Kabuto walked through the bushes. He looked a little worse for wear.

His eyes narrowed at me. "Of course I'd run into you at this point," he hissed.

I giggled. "Whatever are you talking about, smooth-brained Yakushi-san?"

"My brain is wrinkly!" Kabuto protested. "I'm not mentally retarded or an animal!"

"You look like one with those scratches," Sasuke said, smirking (but also slightly confused because he, like most people I know, doesn't get the 'smooth brain' joke). "What happened?"

"I got ambushed," Kabuto sighed, sitting down. "But that team from Kirigakure."

"What?" I said. "Suigetsu-san's team?" I grinned. "Well, gee. That didn't happen in the original plotline..."

SO it probably had something to do with me. Heheh. All the better, Kabuto and his creepy teammates bug me. Plus, I'll get to see Suigetsu fight in the preliminaries to the third part of the exams!

... I also get to watch Gaara beat up Lee.

Shoot. That's going to be nail-biting. If I told Lee, though, he'd probably just get the notion that he couldn't win at all, and get injured even worse or die.

Plus, Tsunade would heal him. Eventually. As long as no one dies, I don't care if they're injured for awhile... just saving lives is hard enough as it is.

"Well, Yakushi-san," I said. "Do you have some business with us or are you just mooching food?"

His eyes landed on the fish, and I saw his eyes widen considerably.

"Oh, wait!" I said. "You're here to kidnap Sasuke-kun!"

"I am not," Kabuto huffed.

I smirked. "Bet your master'd love you if you did."

Kabuto sighed. "Not in the literal sense..." his gaze dropped to the ground. "I'm just a tool."

"Kabuto, you're ninja," I said flatly. "We're all tools. That guy, though... he's not worth being the tool of. He's cruel, discriminates against people, and does nasty experiments on humans."

"You don't understand," Kabuto hissed.

I blinked. "Probably not," I agreed. "I don't do the whole complete-devotion thingy. And I probably never will. Anime characters in those situations always die in nasty ways."

"Unless you save them," Sakura noted.

I grinned and nodded. "That's what I'm here for, I mean, it's why I didn't just go home when we ran into Orochimaru back there."

Kabuto gasped. "You met Orochimaru?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I manipulated him into putting me back in my body and not sending me home for good. Guess I just got lucky."

"Got lucky?" Sakura said. "With who?"

I started laughing. "No one," I said.

"Really?" Sasuke said. "But Kuro-chan said you raped Hak--"

"I DIDN'T!" I yelled. "Geesh, Sasuke, I still have some morals."

Kabuto rolled his eyes and limped away, since obviously he was getting nothing done.

(Sasuke POV)

Finally, we reached the tower with our scrolls.

"KURO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Touka ran at Kuroko, whose back was turned, "I GOT MY BODY BACK BY MANIPULATING OROCHIMARU! ANS SAKURA'S HERE! AND I MISSED YOU! AND SASUKE AND NARUTO ARE ADORABLE TOGETHER (I smirked at this bit)! AND SAKURA TOTALLY SCREWED WITH MY HAIR COLOR BUT SINCE SHE GREW IT ALL LONG AND STUFF I SORT OF FORGIVE HER! AND I LOST THE GAME! AND IT WAS ME WHO PUT THE GUM IN NEJI'S SHAMPOO! AND... and..."

"Are you about done?" Kuroko said, smirking. "And it burns."

"Yeah," Touka said breathlessly, letting go of Kuroko. "Oh hey, I just remembered. Kei-chan and Banshou-chan are here! And so is Sakura. Also..."

The orange-haired girl pulled out her digital camera and showed some pictures to Kuroko who grinned.

"Careful there," she said. "This body may be able to run farther than mine, but if I see anything too steamy I might faint..."

"Yeah, you get trade-offs with the whole body-switching thing..." Touka sighed. "Sakura's way more flexible than I am and has better endurance, but I have more strength and a much larger lung capacity."

"Is that that much of an advantage?" Shino asked gruffly. "It only makes you louder. Isn't that a bad thing?"

Touka giggled. "Loudness means I will always be heard."

"And give people bigger headaches," I muttered.

"Yeesh." Touka rolled her eyes. "Do all Uchiha have sensitive hearing?"

"Yes," Kuroko said, rubbing her (or rather, Hyuuga Hinata's) temples. "That's another advantage here. Hinata's hearing isn't as good as mine, so she has a lot less headaches."

"I envy you," I said. "My hearing's sensitive as any Uchiha's, and I have to deal with her almost every day..."

"Quit your whining," Kuroko said. "I had to deal with her almost every day from six years old to eleven years old."

"That you had to deal with me every day," Sakura said sheepishly.

"Don't feel bad, Sakura," Touka said. "It's not your fault. Blame Orochimaru." She grinned.

"Isn't placing the blame on people a bad thing?" Kuroko said.

Touka shook her head. "Not if you saw them doing it. Oh wait... there's the whole genjutsu thing... and the whole it's-not-me-it's-my-mission scenario... ignore that. Gosh, you guys' world is confusing. You can't blame anyone, can you?"

Maybe she was right about some things, but I saw my brother standing above my family's corpses, so I know he did it, and there's no way the council of Konoha would ever order him to kill an entire clan.

... Right?

(Gaara POV)

I was on the second floor of the tower with my... teammates. They were ignoring me, as usual, so I left them alone and went to see what the rest of the tower looked like. We certainly had the time-- this team I was in had gotten here in about an hour since the start of the exams.

When I was going down the stairs, I heard voices.

Loud voices.

Loud, female voices.

Yaezaki.

Gritting my teeth, I walked towards the noise. This would be an excellent opportunity to kill her... this part of the exams was still running. If she died now, it would do nothing to the reputation of the village.

Which, in the end, I do care about. I just don't care about the people in it.

"Oh wait... " Touka was talking. Again. Does that girl ever shut up? "There's the whole genjutsu thing... and the whole it's-not-me-it's-my-mission scenario... ignore that. Gosh, you guys' world is confusing. You can't blame anyone, can you?"

"I guess you're right..." there was pink-haired girl there too, now, and two blonde girls with glasses. "When did they get here?" I wondered quietly aloud to myself.

"Did anyone just hear something?" Uchiha Sasuke asked, looking around.

"It might was been Sabaku-san or one of his sib-- err, teammates," Touka said. "They were here before anyone else, you know."

One of the blonde girls, the taller one, stiffened at the remark, like most people do. The short blonde girl grinned and patted the taller on the shoulder. She said something quietly I couldn't hear, but it sounded like she was saying something in English. Why? Isn't Japanese less confusing?"

(Banshou POV)

(english is free of pointy things, japanese isn't dealt with)

I don't speak Japanese, so I don't exactly know what Touka, Kuro, and Sasuke were talking, but when I heard Touka say 'Sabaku-san,' I one thing about their conversation.

It somehow involved Gaara. Knowing this, I stiffened. What were they saying about Gaara? Now that I thought of it, he was probably some where in this building...

Kei patted me on the shoulder. "Banshou, you okay?"

"I'm fine..."

(Gaara POV)

(english is trapped in pointies again... sorry...)

"I'm fine..." Banshou muttered.

I approached Yaezaki and told her to kindly not be so loud since I'd heard a rather loud noise yesterday and had a very bad headache, so if she could kindly lower her decibel count by about three hundred and thirty-two I would appreciate it immensely-- except my wording was a little stronger.

She stifled a giggle and whispered, "I'm so -pff- sorry, I don't mean to -pff- inflame your headache. By the way, -pff- this is -pff- Kei-chan and Banshou-pff-chan. They're from where I -heh- come from, so they don't -heh- speak any -giggle- Japanese. They -giggle- speak English, and Banshou-chan- AHAHAHAHAHA!" she collapsed against the wall laughing hysterically.

I glared. "What's so funny?" I could feel the sand in my gourd shift around.

"Your-- your random appearance! HAHAHAHAHA! You show up- HAHA- at the randomest times! You're freaking hilarious!"

I muttered something rude about Yaezaki under my breath in French (which is the original language of the Land of Wind. Being the Kazekage's son, I've learned it from a young age along with frnech and Italian.).

Banshou, the girl who had said she was 'fine' earlier, looked up.

"You speak French?" she asked, in French.

There was only one answer to that question.

"Oui."

Yaezaki giggled again, this time at Banshou, and Banshou shot her a glare.

I didn't know who this girl was, but I was somehow proud of her.

"She's extremely annoying," I told Banshou, jabbing my thumb at Yaezaki.

Banshou smiled. I noticed there was wire strung across her teeth-- oh, wait, that was just her braces. We'd used those in the shinobi world until we'd invented medical jutsu that prevented the need for nasty teeth contraptions, but apparently wherever Yaezaki came from they weren't quite so advanced.

"No, seriously," I said. "She's really annoying. How do you put up with her?"

Banshou shrugged. "We have similar interests," she said. "Tastes in music and the like. Plus, beyond the occasional annoyingness she's a pretty awesome person."

I looked over at Yaezaki, who was laughing while chasing Uchiha Sasuke around trying to make him hug the pink-haired girl.

"NO!" yelled both the Uchiha and the pink-haired girl. "GET HIM/HER AWAY FROM ME! HE'S/I'M NARUTO'S, NOT MINE/HERS!"

Touka stopped abruptly. "CORRECT RESPONSE!" she yelled, grabbing her blonde teammate and pushing him into the Uchiha, who grabbed said blonde and gave him a hug along with a kiss on the cheek.

"... The last honest Uchiha is gay?" I said. "That sort of dooms the clan."

Banshou giggled. "It does, doesn't it?"

Just then, my stomache grumbled. "... I'm going to go to force some food off of my teammates. Later."

And I walked away, feeling about half as alive as I do just after I've killed someone, with no idea why.

But I did know this: I was going to need to talk more to this Banshou girl. But if i killed Yaezaki, who was somehow her friend, then she would probably make herself scarce.

So, until I figured out why Banshou made me feel this way, I was going to have to put Yaezaki's death on hold. For now.

(Banshou POV)

There was only one coherent thought left in my head after that French converstation. There were plenty of other thoughts flying around, but the only one I could really decipher into words was:

GAARA TALKED TO ME! I DIDN'T ANNOY HIM AND HE SEEMED TO EVEN ALMOST ENJOY HIMSELF! GAARA TALKED TO ME! GAARA TALKED TO ME!

"Awww..." Touka reached over and scratched me behind the ear. "Are you blushing?"

"Probably," I said, putting a hand to my heated cheek. "Yep. Definitely."

(Touka POV)

"I have to hand it to you," Sakura said to Banshou, "You've got way better self-control than Touka does. When she saw Haku for the first time--"

"We know, Sakura," Sasuke said annoyedly. "We were there."

"And I read the manga, so I saw what happened," Sakura snapped back. "Gawsh. Don't be such a know-it all!"

"He can't help it," Naruto said. "He likes to show off."

"Like a poodle," I agreed.

Kei giggled. "Did you just compare Sasuke to poodle?" she asked. "That's what it sounded like."

Poor Kei. It must be so hard knowing only snippets of our conversation-- or more like extremely vexing. Gee, I'm glad I'm fluent. Now if only I could write kanji less messily...

(Ino POV)

Wearily, my teammates and I dragged ourselves into the tower.

Touka popped her head hyperishly around a corner. "Hey Ino-chan! Guess what?"

"What?" I asked, not in the mood for one of Touka's mind games. If the answer was 'chicken butt,' I was going to smack the person nearest to me. And that was Shikamaru. WHo I was probably going to smack anyway. But still!

"CHICKEN BUTT!" Touka giggled (so I smacked Shikamaru, sending him into a flurry of 'troublesome's' and 'why's'). "Seriously though, I have slightly awesome newses," the orange-haired girl said. "It's-- Monty Python's Flying Circus -- I got my body back!"

"You mean..." I gasped. "Sakura's back in her body?"

"Yup-pers," Touka giggled. "Bet you wonder where she is then."

"You..." I growled. "You switched right back, didn't you? Otherwise you'd be home!" For some reason, the thought of Touka single-handedly thwarting my plans of ever seeing Forehead Girl again was a very vexing one.

"Bzzzt! Nope!" Touka giggled. "I'm a bitch, but not that much of a bitch! You see, Sakura's actually--"

"RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" I felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around me from behind.

"Sakura!" I gasped, turning around. "Is that really you?"

"Yeah," Sakura said. "Sorry for this whole switching mess. It kind of wasn't our fault."

I just hugged her back. "I missed you..." I whispered.

"Good," Sakura whispered back. "Because I missed you."

I glowed. I didn't know why, but I glowed nontheless.

Then I hugged her again.

(Touka POV)

Eventually, everybody trickled in. Sakura and Ino didn't let go of each other one time, which was cute, but Sakura had the backpack against the wall and had therefore blocked my access to the Harry Potter books inside, which sort of pissed me off a little.

Then, Genma entered the room, and announced the second half of the second part of the chuunin exams.

Since I was in the place of Sakura, I would have to fight Ino.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmnnnnnn...

me: well, gee, this took ridiculously long to write, sorry... also, I hope the language thingy wasn't too confusing.

sasuke: yeah, yeah, now PUT IN. MOAR. SASUNARU.

me: STFU or I won't let you whack Neji.

sasuke: (stfu's)

me: well, gee. I was told to put so InoSak femmeslash in here... so I probably will. Anyone have any ideas on what I should do with the Sasuke Retrieval Arc? Besides saving Kimimaro. Should I just save all of them? Is that even possible? Review and tell me thy blessed opinion, oh readers of mine!