AN: I want to thank everyone who has been adding me to their Favorites and putting this on Story Alert. I have a request. Would everyone who has done these things please just leave one review? It doesn't have to be of this chapter; any one will do. Let me know what you think about the story. Reviews give me ideas and provide inspiration for future chapters. Thanks.

Outside the sky is light with stars;
There's a hollow roaring from the sea.
And, alas! for the little almond flowers,
The wind is shaking the almond tree.

--Katherine Mansfield

Chapter 16: I Want You To Want Me

"Do you want to take a bubble bath or test drive that outdoor shower now?" he asked with a hint of a smile.

"A bubble bath might be fun," I said easily, "if you joined me…" My heart was beating wildly at just the thought.

"Bella," he said with a note of warning in his voice.

"Well, will you at least keep me company while a take a bath? Please, Edward?" I was not too proud to beg, and I didn't want to let him out of my sight for a minute of this weekend.

He had a strange, faraway look in his eyes. "Alright," he said reluctantly. "You get in the bath and then call me; I want to attend to a few details out here first."

"It's a deal," I said as I jumped up and raced into the bathroom, narrowly avoiding tripping over the corner of the big fluffy rug in the bedroom. Nothing like showing how eager you are, Bella, I scolded myself.

My behavior surely couldn't come as a surprise to him. He knew how much I wanted him. I might as well have it tattooed on my forehead; and my little reverse psychology thing had worked pretty well. For a while, until his bizarrely moral vampire code kicked in, as usual. He did seem to be able to go further physically though, and I knew I was enjoying it more. This evening was off to a very good start, I decided; but it was far from over.

I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. You could dress me up in a silk gown and put rhinestones in my hair, but I was still plain old Bella. It always amazed me how Edward seemed to be inordinately attracted to someone as average, clumsy and almost painfully shy as me.

What did he see in me? I desperately hoped it wasn't just about the way I smelled, although I knew that had to be a big part of it. Would I still smell as good after I became one of the cold ones? I wanted nothing more than to join him for eternity, but would he still feel the same way about me… when the blood was no longer coursing through my veins, singing to him?

How could anyone know with certainty what the future held? All I knew was that I would love him forever. I pushed my doubts aside as I brushed my teeth. I tried to think of more pleasant things while the tub was filling with hot water and a generous amount of bubble bath supplied by the Lodge. They thought of everything. A fluffy white terry cloth robe was hanging on a hook on the back of the bathroom door, and a matching pair of new slippers was wrapped in plastic in a basket next to the tub.

I shrugged out of the beautiful silk dress and hung it on another hook on the wall next to some massive bath towels. I removed the dragonfly ornaments from my hair and put it up in a high ponytail and then twisted it around and secured it on top of my head with a small tortoiseshell clip Alice had so kindly included in my toiletries kit.

I noticed she had also packed a large sea sponge, so I tossed that into the running bath, wondering if she had seen me enticing Edward into it. A girl could hope. At least she hadn't seen me accidentally drowning or we would have heard about it by this time.

I wondered if Edward was on the phone with Alice right now. I wondered if she could see everything that I was planning, and if she did, would she tell Edward? Talk about an unfair advantage.

I grabbed a washcloth and splashed into the huge, bubble-filled tub. It was way too big for one person. Maybe I could convince him after all. As I shut off the water I heard Claire De Lune wafting through the hidden stereo speakers. Edward being attentive again; I could get used to this.

"Edward," I softly called to him, and immediately the door opened.

His long, white fingers reached in and switched off the light, and then he entered, carrying a small silver tray holding three votive candles. He had taken off his sweater and was wearing a white undershirt with no sleeves, exposing his strong, well-defined arms. He put the tray down on the heated slate floor and sat on a small wooden bench next to the tub.

The moonlight poured through the frosted French doors. It could hardly be more romantic. I smiled with anticipation.

"How's the bath?" he inquired conversationally.

"Why don't you come in and find out? This tub is really too big for one person," I looked up at him with as much allure as I could muster.

I watched him as his eyes took in my face, neck, and shoulders, surrounded in a sea of bubbles.

"Bella, you're torturing me. Stop it," he protested.

Good, I thought. It's working. I slid to my knees and rested my arms on the edge of the tub, looking up at him with desire burning in my eyes. Could he read my mind now?

I thought he could, because he looked away, out the window and up at the moon, high in the dark night sky.

"Edward, please look at me," I said softly.

"Are you trying to tempt me into an indiscretion?"

"No, a bathtub."

"Very funny, Bella. This is not going to go anywhere, so don't think it is," he said evenly. "I already know how breathtakingly beautiful you are and your scent is beyond intoxicating. I can only take so much, but I am not going to lose control now."

I blushed but didn't want him to stop. This could be fun, and after all, it was supposed to be our fun weekend. I sank down into the tub and turned my back to him. Glancing over my shoulder at him, as provocatively as I could, I said, "It's true we had a gentleman's agreement, but unfortunately for you, I'm no gentleman."

He rolled his eyes but remained silent.

"Alright, I accept that you won't get in with me, but will you at least scrub my back?" I tempted, holding up the dripping sea sponge.

"I just want to state for the record that this is against my better judgment," he said slowly, gingerly plucking the sponge from my hands.

I had turned my head towards him and the movement had brought him close to my upturned face, close enough for me to inhale a trace of his sweet breath as he was acknowledging a minor defeat. It was still enough to make me slightly dizzy. I gripped the edges of the tub to steady myself.

He picked up a bottle of Kiel's strawberry scented liquid soap from a basket on the wall, and put some on the sponge. I pulled my legs up to my chest and clasped my arms around my knees to lean forward and expose my back.

"You do look tiny in that giant tub," he observed as he gently touched the sponge to my back.

Even though the bathroom floor was heated and the bath was steaming, when he touched my back it felt like an icy electric shock going through my body and I shivered.

He pulled his hand away immediately and with his voice full of concern asked, "Bella, are you alright?"

"Yes," I sighed. "It's just the nearness of you. Please resume what you were doing."

He gave a low laugh and began making a small swirling motion starting at my right shoulder and making his way across to the left and back again. He dipped the sponge in the hot water and rinsed my shoulders and then started again, a bit lower.

I was in heaven, the rhythmic motion relaxing and exciting me at the same time. It was a good thing I was sitting in water because I felt like I was about to spontaneously combust.

After what seemed like a short time he stopped. "Why did you stop?" I asked dreamily.

"I think your back is sufficiently clean, Bella. You don't want me to scrub your skin off, do you?" he asked with amusement.

"Okay then, do my arms please," I said, turning to face him and placing my right hand in his left.

He dropped the sponge into the water and brought my hand up to his lips, kissing the tip each finger and then my palm. His cool, hard lips were making my palm burn. I was melting, and it wasn't from the hot water I was soaking in.

Then he placed the palm of my hand against his cool cheek and held it there while gazing deeply into my eyes. I was finding it difficult to focus, difficult to even breathe.

He calmly leaned forward and kissed me, softly, but long and slow. So much emotion was conveyed in that perfect kiss. I felt his love for me, filling my heart. Just as my body started to vibrate and I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me, he released me.

He took my hand away from his face, and as he drew away from me he said, "That is as far as I'm going with the bathing routine." His sweet breath was compelling. I felt overheated and gasped for breath. That was unlike anything I had ever experienced and I didn't want it to stop.

So he thought bath time was over, did he? My head was spinning but I suddenly had an idea. I felt a prickly sensation dance over the surface of my skin. My stomach felt like a hundred butterflies were desperately trying to escape. Summoning all my courage, I pulled the plug out of the drain with my big toe and quickly stood up.

I felt the blush spreading from my chest up to my face in a split second. I was fairly covered in bubbles, but they were sliding down over my wet skin towards the tub at a rather rapid rate. What had possessed me? What was I supposed to do next? What did I think Edward would do? What did I want Edward to do? I had no time to think; I was acting on pure instinct now.

My quick movement had startled him and his head snapped in my direction. I started to take a step toward him, but my foot slipped, and I felt myself starting to fall. Before I could even cry out, he had grabbed a giant bath towel off the wall and wrapped it around me as he scooped me up in his arms.

"Nice try, Bella. Remind me to have one of those rubber bath mats installed in the tub tomorrow," he intoned serenely.

The tension evaporated as I heard a laugh escape my throat and amazingly I heard Edward join in my laugher. At least I was in his arms, damp and wrapped only in a towel. I laced my fingers together around the back of his neck and pressed my forehead against the hollow of his neck. This was working better than I had expected.

Who was I kidding… I didn't have any expectations; I had been operating on adrenaline and the foolhardiness of someone who didn't know what was good for them. I was taken aback by my own boldness, but where Edward was concerned I knew I was going to have to take the lead because he was going to be too much of a gentleman to take advantage of me. I would have to take advantage of him; he left me no choice.

"You're still the most dangerous creature I've ever encountered," he sighed.

I smiled, remembering the last time he had told me that. We had been alone in his bedroom and I had tried to seduce him and ended up failing miserably at that. So miserably that I had accepted his engagement ring and agreed to marry him, all with my virtue intact.

Even though I had failed in this attempt, the night was young, and he didn't seem to be mad at me. I decided to try another tact. "I wish we could stay like this forever," I whispered.

"So do I, Bella, so do I," he admitted, carrying me into the bedroom and sitting down on the blanket chest at the foot of the bed. "But you're still damp and you haven't even looked for your sleepwear, have you?" he teased.

"No," I replied cheerfully, happy to be sitting on his lap, just mere inches from the bed. I was a bit lightheaded, though. "I really am worried about what Alice has picked out for me."

"Well, you can't sleep in that towel." He shifted me over and deposited me on the bed and went to the closet to find whatever Alice had planned for my bedtime attire.

Thinking quickly, I just couldn't let this opportunity pass. Checking to see that he had his back to me, rummaging around in the luggage, I unwrapped the towel, and lay down on the bed on my stomach. My heart was thumping wildly and I had almost stopped breathing. I closed my eyes. The anticipation was killing me.

What would Edward do when he came back and found me lying there naked? I felt a blush spreading from my toes to the top of my head. I couldn't make my intentions any plainer if I was carrying a flashing neon sign. I loved him, I trusted him, and I wanted him. We were making a lot of progress with the physical side of our relationship today and I wasn't ready to stop. I felt very vulnerable, but hopeful, too.

He moved so silently that I couldn't tell where he was but I suddenly felt the room fill with tension. It was thick and heavy, and I found it difficult to breathe. I gripped the pillow with both hands, bracing myself for whatever was going to come next.

Then I heard a hiss and a low, angry growl near the foot of the bed and the sound struck terror into my swiftly beating heart. What had I done? I was truly afraid. I was afraid of Edward. I felt cold, clammy and nauseous. My stomach clenched violently. My brain shut down. I couldn't think.

All of a sudden there was a thump on the bed next to me. That did it. My heart pulled the trigger and the gun went off. I was trembling when I opened my eyes and saw a blue silk drawstring bag on the bed.

I heard Edward's voice from the living room say tersely, "You have got to take a look at it sooner or later. I will be in here until you do."

I had been holding my breath and his voice made me inhale deeply. I wrapped the towel around me and stood up unsteadily. I snuck a glance toward the living room where I could see him putting another log on the fire. Then he sat down on the sofa, rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. That was never a good sign. I had gone too far this time.

I wobbled back into the bathroom and closed the door. I looked at the lock and thought about using it. I was still afraid. My heart wouldn't stop pounding. I knew he would hear me turning the lock and if he wanted to come in after me no lock would stop him. He was so much more powerful than me; I didn't stand a chance of fighting him off if it came to that. What had I been thinking? Was I insane?

I sat down on the bench and continued to breathe deeply. Was I going to start hyperventilating? It was possible. I was also shaking. I needed to get a grip. I knew he had to have seen me lying there. I could still feel myself blushing.

The tone of that growl had really been ferocious. I knew if he didn't have so much willpower I would probably be dead by now, in danger of that since the first day we met.

I just couldn't stop myself from pushing things to the very edge. What was wrong with me? I wanted to have my cake and eat it, too.

Where was this going to end? How far could I push him before he snapped? Did I really want to find out? What kind of dangerous dance was I doing? One that would get me killed? I should know better than to do any kind of dance, with my track record.

Dancing reminded me of Rosalie. How stupid was I to follow her romantic advice? As if laying myself bare to Edward would suddenly melt his reserve. What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, I was just wanting. I wanted to feel his skin against mine and I didn't want any barriers between us anymore.

I was only human after all. Was all this pressure going to drive him further away? Would he be even more careful around me now? Would he want to call the trip off altogether and take me back to Charlie's?

He could hardly have any doubts about my intentions towards him, but I still had doubts about his intentions towards me. He must not want me as badly as I wanted him. No, I must not think like that.

He was just protecting me. Maybe I needed a good healthy dose of fear to remind me of what was at stake. I was finally breathing normally again.

I opened the drawstring bag gingerly. I smiled and pulled out a pair of midnight blue silk pajamas with a red heart embroidered on the breast pocket. They had short scalloped sleeves with pearl buttons up the front. They were feminine without being too girly. She's good, that Alice.

"Everything alright in there?" Edward inquired. He sounded a little more relaxed.

"You'll see in a minute," I called out, trying to sound happy. Dry by now, I hung up the towel, slipped into the pajamas, let my hair down and picked up the hairbrush. I stood in front of the mirror and brushed my hair until I was completely calm.

Then I opened the bathroom door. All the lights were out except for the large black globe nightlight and a candle on the nightstand. The fireplace cast soft flickering shadows on the wall behind the bed. It was an achingly romantic setting. If only we were already married; but we weren't, and Edward wasn't waiting for me in bed.

I took a few steps toward the living room, but he wasn't on the sofa in front of the fireplace, either. I was beginning to get worried. Had he left? Had I driven him away? Would I ever learn?

I walked into the living room and saw that the French doors were open. I almost ran over to them and found him out on the deck.

Edward still wore his undershirt, but he had changed into his pajama bottoms, a matching dark blue silk. I took that as a good sign. At least he wasn't planning on leaving. He was standing at the railing, looking out into the forest.

Clouds were rolling by overhead, intermittently blocking out the moonlight. He must have heard me coming because he turned around and looked me over from head to toe.

"That's more like it," he said, nodding his approval.

Evidently my previous failed attempt at seduction was not going to be a topic of discussion. I was relieved, and I felt so guilty for being afraid of him. What was wrong with me? He would never hurt me.

Before I could run across the small deck he opened his arms closed the distance between us. I slipped my arms around his waist and he folded his around me.

"We have to do something really nice for Alice when we get back," I said brightly.

"You know she loves you like you were her sister," he said, gazing into my eyes, "and the fact that you are so comfortable around her means the world to her."

"She's the sister I always wanted," I replied. "I love your family, too." I snuggled into his chest.

"Let's go in, I don't want you to get cold." He led me inside, closing the French doors, and settled us on the sofa in front of the fire.

"I'm just a little bit curious about something," he said quietly, stroking my hair.

Uh oh. Here it comes. I thought I was getting off too easy. I tucked my head under his chin and answered, "Only a little bit?"

He laughed softly. He gently shifted me away from him so he could look down at my face. I'm in for it now, I thought, gazing into his warm amber eyes. Bring it on.

"When you were bonding with Rosalie over the mix CD, did she offer you any relationship advice?" he inquired.

I gulped. How did he figure that out? I could feel the blush spreading from my face, down my neck and across my chest. Evidently that was all the answer I needed to make, as my favorite crooked smile appeared on his glorious face.

"What was the tip off? Rosalie promised she would close her mind and keep it a secret from you."

"It wasn't Rosalie, it was Emmett."

"Emmett?" I shrieked. "Oh, I'll never live this down."

"Don't worry, it's not like that. I just recalled something Emmett was trying to tell me as I left the house this morning."

"This just gets worse and worse."

"No, but can you imagine me taking relationship advice from Emmett?"

"Can you imagine I did take relationship advice from Rosalie?"

He groaned. "Emmett was trying to tell me something but I wouldn't listen. He started to say that Rosalie thought you were crazy about me, but I wouldn't let him finish his thought."

"Well everyone knows I'm crazy about you. Is it impossible to keep a secret in that house?"

"Not impossible, but very difficult."

"I'm glad you didn't learn anything directly from Rosalie though; and she was just trying to be helpful."

"Well that explains some things. But Rosalie really shouldn't be giving you that kind of advice. She may have been to medical school, but she still doesn't know anything about actually being with a human. I thought I was going to be the one surprising you this weekend, but you are just full of surprises," he said pleasantly.

I was so relieved he wasn't mad I made a tiny confession, "I'm beginning to like your surprises."

"I am very pleased to hear that. I like your surprises, too, but I will like them even more after we are married and I can fully participate in them."

I sighed. "You could participate in them now, if you wanted to."

"Bella, you don't know what you are asking. I will not ever risk harming you. You are the most unusual girl, and I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you," he said huskily. He took my face in his hands and slowly pressed his cool lips against mine. I returned his kiss and moved my hand up to stroke his unruly hair.

When he pulled back he simply said, "I want you to know that I'm thankful for every kiss we share. I don't take any of the time we spend together for granted. When I look at you, I feel like lightening is running through my veins. You take my breath away."

His words of gratitude and love melted my heart. I felt a wave of guilt for my stupid attempt at seduction and decided to apologize.

"Edward, I'm sorry I was so impulsive before. I don't know what came over me. It's just that I want you so badly, I'm willing to do anything…"

"Please, Bella, you do not have to apologize to me. I should be apologizing to you. I know I frightened you, and for that I am very sorry. I do not want to make you feel like that. It hurts me so much to have made you afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you," I declared, and it was true now, even though I had been afraid a few minutes ago.

"Well, a little fear is a good thing where you are concerned, but I must have startled you as much as you startled me... and I reacted before I thought."

"Interesting that was your reaction. It was not the reaction I was hoping for."

"Bella, you frightened me. To see you like that, you have no idea what beautiful skin you have, how perfect your body is, and to know that you trust me when I might easily slip and kill you without meaning to, is very frightening for me. I cannot ever lose control with you, but please know that I want you. I want all of you. Forever," he concluded huskily.

That was what I wanted to hear him say. If I wasn't going to be able to do what I wanted with his body, at least it was very satisfying to hear him say that.

"I love you so much, Edward."

He brought his lips to hover over mine and said, "I love you with every fiber of my being, Bella, always remember that," and then his lips moved hungrily on mine. I clasped my hands around his neck and pulled him even closer to me, pressing my body against his.

When he broke the kiss I was breathless and he said, "I am such a bad influence on you. Even your mistakes mostly have something to do with me, and they cannot compare with the colossal mistakes I have made. I know how close I came to losing you, and I know it was my fault. I want you to know that I'm going to spend whatever time I have trying to make it up to you."

"We're going to be together forever, Edward. That's all that matters."

"Bella, you have no idea what I went through when I decided it would be better if I went out of your life. I thought I was making it possible for you to have a life, which you couldn't have with me."

"I had no life without you."

"I know that now, but after what happened at your birthday party, I felt I didn't have a choice. I couldn't keep exposing you to that kind of danger. And it killed me to leave you. I had spent so many years, I had been all over the world, and I never met anyone who came close to making me feel what you made me feel. Alive. In love. Whole. Until I knew what it was like to be with you I never realized how lonely I had been, and after I left, every minute without you seemed like an hour. All I did was think about you, and I know your suffering was even worse. I do not think I can ever forgive myself for doing that to you."

"Edward, please don't beat your self up over past mistakes. We've both made mistakes. I make them all the time," I admitted. "I just hope we can learn from them so we don't repeat them," I said, trying to reassure him.

"You may be right, and there may even be a good reason we've made mistakes." Edward held both my hands in his and said, "Carlisle reminded me of something this morning. There's an old Chinese proverb that says that life consists of four emotions: happiness, pleasure, sorrow, and love. To be whole one must experience each emotion, and by doing so we are interconnected with all other human beings. Until I met you, I knew something was missing, but I didn't know how powerful that something was."

"I know what you mean," I felt myself blushing again and watched Edward's eyes flicker in response. It was so wonderful to hear him talk about his feelings. I knew I did that for him; he was trying so hard to connect with me, and I was making him feel more human than he could ever remember. "You've certainly helped me get in touch with those emotions, Edward, but I think I've had enough sorrow though, thank you very much."

"I'm so sorry," he immediately replied. "The one thing I can't handle is being a disappointment to you." I saw the pain in his eyes and that hurt me, too.

"You have no idea how much I regret the decision that took me away from you, but I thought it was the best for you at the time. I see now that I was wrong, but I think it was inevitable, given my decision to stay in Forks after the first day we met."

"What do you mean, inevitable? How does meeting me lead to leaving me?" I asked, totally confused.

He moved his hand to my throat, tracing a line along my collarbone. "My desires where you are concerned are so difficult to control; I want you to be mine forever, but I don't want to destroy your soul. I'm not as strong as you think I am. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, but I did it so you would have a long, happy life without me," he softly explained.

"That's impossible and I hope you understand that now," I implored. "I have no life without you. Or at least, the life I had was miserable. I don't ever want to go there again. Promise me you will never leave me again," I felt myself starting to gasp for breath, thinking of how I might have driven him away again just a few minutes ago.

"Bella, I have already promised I will never leave you again. No matter how bad I am for you, I do understand that you are even worse off without me." He smiled ruefully. "I think all we have been through is evidence enough that we are joined together no matter how much either one of us tries to fight it," he looked deep into my eyes, and I saw the pain it caused him to remember the worst parts of our relationship.

"I guess the ancient Chinese know what they're talking about, but it sure can get tough at times," I said thoughtfully, going over some of my own memories. "Can we go to bed now?"

AN: Okay, now it's your turn to write something. Hit that Review button (it won't hit back, really).

My beta, not done baking, is the champion of betas. Check out her stuff, too. If you click on the link to Manka's website on my Profile page you will see the photo that inspired this chapter and Bella's after bath activity. It's in the 'Lodging' area, under Great Beds.

I just added an Alice and Jasper story, too, called Believe It, Beloved. It's just over a thousand words, so take a look at it if you like A & J.

Who doesn't like Alice and Jazz? Oh, I forgot, the wolf boys of La Push. Oh well, to each his own.