AN: First I want to thank everyone for reading and especially for reviewing. While reading this chapter please take note of a particular line that makes you smile or touches you and let me know about it in your review. Feedback is greatly appreciated.

A little recap and then Chapter 18: Every hurt also holds hidden gifts

"I love you, Edward." I pressed myself closer to him and noticed that it had just started to rain, but the sound of the soft raindrops on the cabin roof was somehow more comforting than disturbing. Snug in this enchanted place, with the sound of the fireplace crackling through the open bedroom doors, and Edward's lullaby humming softly in my ears, I drifted off to sleep, perfectly content.

Then it was not raining, but there was a mist hanging in the air. The sky was a great gray blanket. I was in a small clearing, sitting on a large square of brown plaid fabric. The air was still, with no breeze. I could hear unfamiliar birds singing a beautiful song in the trees, and as I looked towards the forest I realized I was alone. Where was Edward? What was I doing here?

Suddenly I felt fear in my heart. I heard a low growl and I looked toward the forest. From under a huge prehistoric-looking fern I saw a pair of golden eyes staring right at me. I was frozen in place, afraid to move and unable to make a sound. I heard a rustling from the forest floor and saw something spring from a crouch and flash through the air toward me. Then I heard a piercing scream.

"Bella, Bella, wake up. Wake up now," Edward's velvet voice commanded me. I opened my eyes slowly and shook my head. He took me in his arms and rubbed my back soothingly.

"It's alright, you were having a bad dream. Do you remember what it was?" he asked quietly.

I clutched his neck and took a deep breath. My heart was beating irregularly.

"I don't know what it was, exactly," I started to explain. "I was in the woods by myself and I was looking around for you. Then I saw a pair of golden eyes staring at me from the darkness of the forest, but it wasn't you. It was something scary, and it growled. I was terrified. Then I guess I screamed," I finished hazily.

"Yes, you screamed. Are you sure it wasn't me: the eyes, the growling? Perhaps subconsciously you are more apprehensive about the future than you let on," his voice faltered.

"You aren't the only one with eyes who can growl – don't be ridiculous. It wasn't you; of that much I'm sure. Anyway, I'm not afraid of you; I know you won't ever hurt me. Look, you rescued me from my bad dream. That makes you my hero, again," I tried to comfort him.

I could see Edward was still afraid I would change my mind and leave him before I could become like him. I clung to him and pressed my forehead against his neck, resting my lips on his cool chest. He smoothed my long tangled hair and continued rubbing my back.

After a few minutes like this I felt calmer and said, "It feels early; do you know what time it is?"

"You were asleep for almost eight hours; it's just after seven," he said, still with a note of sadness in his voice.

I straightened up and said, "Well, as unbelievable as it may seem, I'm looking forward to breakfast." I was trying hard to be cheerful. He smiled then but it didn't reach his eyes.

I smiled too and said "I think I need a human moment now."

He immediately released me and I hopped out of bed, scooting into the bathroom and shutting the door. I turned on the hot water and gripped the sink and looked into the mirror. I did look rested, despite my bad dream. What did that dream mean? It couldn't have been him. I wasn't afraid of him. Well, I had to admit that growl last night had been scary, but it was as much my fault as it was his, maybe more. And he would never do anything to hurt me, he simply couldn't.

Who did those frightening eyes in my dream belong to? Maybe it was me. Maybe it was me after I became a vampire. I did have some doubts, but mostly because it was going to be so different, so unfamiliar. I shook my head and splashed some water on my face. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair. I took a few more moments to compose myself. I didn't want Edward to know how much that dream had shaken me. He worried enough without taking on my bad dreams.

When I opened the door, I saw that the bedcovers had been straightened and Edward wasn't there.

I walked towards the living room and noticed that once again the fireplace held a roaring fire and Edward was pouring a cup of hot chocolate from the thermos on the dining table. "Do you want to get back in bed and drink this?" he asked.

I sat down on the sofa in front of the fire and said, "No, bring it to me here, please." If he wanted to spoil me I decided to play along for a change. As he handed me the mug I took a sip and said, "You better be careful, I could get used to this."

That brought on a big smile and as he sat down next to me he said, "That's what I'm hoping for."

"Wow, this hot chocolate is delicious," I said as I snuggled up next to him. He put his arm around me and kissed my neck. "If you're going to do that I'm going to have to put this down before I spill it."

He sat up. "You have a good chance of spilling that hot chocolate whether I'm here or not," he said, eyes twinkling.

"Well, if you're not careful I might spill the whole cup on you, and then you'd have to get out of those clothes," I said, lowering my head and looking at him from under my eyelashes.

"Bella, you seem to have me confused with someone who has no willpower."

"A girl can try. Do I have time to take a shower before we go to the Lodge for breakfast?"

"You have all the time in the world, and they're delivering breakfast here," he replied.

"Great. Maybe I will have one cookie before I test drive that outdoor shower," I mused.

Instantly the dessert box appeared on the sofa next to me. I couldn't imagine ever moving that fast without falling.

I picked up a gingersnap and took a bite. It was sensational. It melted in my mouth with a peppery afterglow. I took another sip of hot chocolate and glanced at Edward. He was watching me intently.

"Edward, am I really that interesting?" I wailed.

"I find you endlessly fascinating. I may not be able to read your mind but I'm becoming better every day at reading your face. When you bit into that cookie for example, your face registered at least a half a dozen expressions. Surprise, delight, wonder, admiration, satisfaction, and longing for another cookie," he laughed. "Go on, you know you want another one."

I sheepishly took another cookie out of the box. "I can't help it. These are the best gingersnaps I've ever had. I don't ever want to leave here, Edward. This place is so magical. What's the average rainfall?" I asked hopefully.

"About forty inches a year, but during El Niño years it's double that," he answered easily.

"Charlie believes that El Niño is an international conspiracy perpetrated by evil roofing contractors," I said cheerfully. I made him laugh and it was a sound I loved hearing. "Can Alice forecast when an El Niño year is coming?" I asked expectantly.

He was still laughing as he said, "I'm not sure it's ever come up before. But they have a lot of fog and overcast days here even when it's not raining. It would definitely be a good place to winter. The Park is full of wildlife; they have an over population of deer."

I finished my drink and set it down on the table beside the sofa. Then I crawled back into his arms and slowly gave him a kiss. "You have designed the perfect weekend getaway. If this is any indication of what our future together is going to be like, I can't wait."

"You are even lovelier when you are graciously accepting one of my gifts. It makes me so happy to know I have pleased you." He was glowing.

I instantly felt guilty for making such a fuss about not wanting presents and surprises. If it made him look like this when I showed some appreciation maybe I could force myself to do it more often. "I'm very happy, too, Edward. Just be careful about spoiling me, you don't want me to turn into a monster."

He smiled but I could tell his mind was elsewhere.

"Bella… do you think we need to talk about what happened last night?"

Oh holy crap. I was afraid he was going to want to talk about my pushing his limits. I was really afraid he would want to reinstate our old boundaries. I couldn't let that happen.

"I don't need to talk about it," I muttered under my breath, knowing he would hear me.

He chose to ignore my comment though, and plunged ahead. "I know we agreed to expand our boundaries slowly—"

No, no, no, he does want to go back to the old rules. I must stop him before he says it.

I quickly interrupted. "I'm sorry I made last night so difficult for you, Edward." Maybe I could distract him. "What were you thinking about when you were out on the porch?"

He answered without hesitation. "I was thinking how grateful I am to have met you and how extraordinary it is that you want to be around me."

Of course I want to be around him, is he crazy? He had been out there for a long time, though. I knew he had to have been thinking more than that.

"And…" I prompted.

He hesitated for a moment, looking deep into my eyes. "And how difficult it is to control my desire for you," he admitted.

I couldn't help but smile and I leaned my forehead against his shoulder to hide the blush I felt coming.

He placed his hand on my cheek and said, "I can feel you blushing. Does it have anything to do with your desire for me?"

"Of course it does," I mumbled into his chest.

He moved his hand under my chin and pulled my face up so he could see it. "You are so beautiful, Bella."

"It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it?" I wisecracked.

He smiled and said, "You are absurd, but I adore you. I am putty in your hands."

"That's not exactly true, Edward. If I had my way we would still be in bed and that's where we would stay, all day. Am I ever going to get you out of your clothes?"

I was teasing but he looked serious.

"Bella, did it ever occur to you… that I might be worried I'll be a disappointment to you?"

"No, are you kidding? In the first place, that's physically impossible. I already think you look better than a Greek god, and in the second place… wait a minute. Just thinking about you in all your glory has made me lose my train of thought. There's no way I could be disappointed in you." I gazed up at him. "I might need paramedics, but it wouldn't be from disappointment, I can guarantee that," I muttered under my breath.

His eyes flickered but he said calmly, "As much as I would enjoy your suggestion, something tells me it is not the safest way to spend Saturday. I think we need to get you out of this cabin and the sooner the better."

"Yeah, because I can't attract any danger out in public," I taunted, thinking of too many accidents and untoward situations I had gotten myself into.

He chuckled. "Yes, you can find trouble wherever you go, but I think the greater risk lies in that bed." He held me to him, breathing in my scent. His fingers ran affectionately through my hair.

"Edward, that reminds me of something I wanted to ask you. I understand you're afraid you'll injure me, but even if you did, couldn't you just change me right then? I mean, I would be okay with it."

"Bella," he sounded shocked, as I was afraid he would. "Is that the way you want it to come about? As a result of my loss of control?"

"Frankly, Edward, I don't think I have a problem with that. To me it would be happening because of your love for me. That's why it's going to happen anyway, isn't it, because we love each other? I just want you to know that if it does happen like that, I'm fine with it. Don't feel guilty."

I felt his body tense and his mouth was set in a grim line. He looked like he was having a difficult time controlling himself.

"How is it so easy for you to say something like that?" He gripped my shoulders and locked his eyes with mine. "I would feel horribly guilty, and if it were to happen here, in this cabin, away from the family, I would be frantic."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. I'm kind of focused on the end result, not the process. I just don't want you to feel guilty, no matter what happens." He relaxed his grip on my shoulders and slid his arms around my back. He exhaled deeply.

"Because I want this, Edward, I want all of it. I want all of you." I pressed myself against his chest again, wrapping my arms around him. I felt his hands rubbing my back and he kissed the top of my head.

"It is so like you to be thinking about relieving my guilt. You surely are an angel."

"Last night I bet you thought I was a devil."

"No, a goddess and a temptress perhaps, but never a devil."

"I know I went a little too far last night, but it's getting harder to control myself around you."

"The image of you in that bathtub, Bella, you were a vision. Like Venus rising from the sea; no, more alluring. Beyond description. I nearly lost it then, and just when I thought everything would calm down I turned around and saw you lying on the bed. Bella, if my heart were beating I would surely have gone into cardiac arrest at that moment."

I blushed, but I was confused. "You sounded so angry."

"I was angry. I was angry with myself because I could feel my control rapidly slipping away. I wanted nothing more than to make love to you. I could see it happening… and I was afraid," he said quietly.

"I wanted you, too, Edward. I wish you weren't afraid."

"One of us needs to be. I think you are right about this experimentation, but we must go slowly. You were going about two hundred miles over the speed limit last night."

"Are you going to give me a ticket, Officer?"

"If you are not more careful I will suspend your license, young lady," he sternly. "This time I will let you off with just a warning."

"I will try to be good, but I can't help it that you're so irresistible."

"If you mean that, we could elope to Las Vegas. We could get married today," he suggested.

"Edward!" I was shocked. "What are you, drunk?"

"Well, I was just thinking we could begin our life together today if you were so inclined," he hastened to explain, looking as if he were a drowning man, clutching onto a life preserver.

I wondered if my attempts at seduction last night had anything to do with this sudden desire to get married today. Even if I had not reached my goal perhaps I had made more progress than I thought.

"I love you, Edward. I'm always going to love you. I want to be with you forever, but Alice would kill us if we eloped – she is having so much fun planning the wedding. Then there's Esme and Renee, oh my goodness, Renee would die if I eloped. Not to mention Charlie would probably try to kill you. It's just not going to happen," I concluded.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," he shrugged and my favorite crooked smile made a welcome appearance. It almost made me reconsider a trip to that oasis in the desert, littered with wedding chapels.

"Besides, don't we have a lot more to do this weekend? That shower for instance. Can I get you to test drive it with me?" I tried to sound as inviting as possible.

"Bella, you are incorrigible! What am I going to do with you?" He was almost growling.

"Still can't blame a girl for trying, and I'm never going to stop trying with you, so you might as well get used to it," I called over my shoulder as I got off the sofa and headed for the shower.

Edward's point of view

As I watched Bella scamper off to take a shower I already missed her touch, her warmth. Everything about her was lovely, and she was so modest. One day I would convince her just how unparalleled her beauty was. If it took forever I would happily try.

To see her blood coursing under that thin membrane of delicate creamy skin, and the rosy flush on her cheeks still almost drove me mad at times. Last night was one of those times. I couldn't stop thinking about it, especially after our conversation this morning. My mind kept going back to how I desperately wanted to cross that room and be by her side in an instant. Now that I've seen her like that, naked and wet, so still and yet so alive, my perfect photographic memory won't stop recalling those moments of splendid torture.

In the gray light of morning, I was finally able to face what had stopped me cold last night. As I had approached the bed she clutched the pillow and in that small movement I saw the candlelight fall on the small, crescent-shaped scar on her right hand and I froze.

The memory of how James gave her that scar because I didn't get there quickly enough to save her sent a jolt of pain through my whole body. Remembering the torture of sucking the venom out, mixed with the taste of her sweet blood was almost too much to bear at that moment. I never wanted to go through that again.

She was the most precious thing on earth to me, and I would do anything to protect her, even if I had to protect her from myself. If I couldn't control my instincts she would be lost, and all hope of our future together would be lost as well.

Last night when I heard a low growl involuntarily escape my lips I was horrified, as was she. I tossed the bag of pajamas on the bed and retreated to the living room, concentrating on maintaining control of myself against almost insurmountable odds. At first I couldn't tell if I had frightened her or merely disappointed her again.

Then as she got up off the bed I could smell the fear rolling off her like a tidal wave. She was afraid of me. I had warned her so many times that she should be afraid of me but it was sheer torture when I realized that she was. I had struck terror into her sweet, gentle heart.

When, in reality, all I had wanted was to take her in my arms and never let her go. To feel her skin touching mine as I explored every inch of her body, kissing and caressing her all night long. Instead, I made her retreat into the bathroom shaking with fear. It just confirmed for me what a monster I was.

She was so pure and innocent. All she wanted was to be loved and I couldn't even do that right. She deserved someone better than me. Someone she didn't have to give up her life for. If I had thought I was cursed before now I was sure of it.

Then there was her nightmare to worry about. Was it a direct result of my frightening her last night? I wasn't convinced that she didn't know who was leaping out of the forest to attack her. I was fairly sure it was me… she just didn't want to admit it. I must have shaken her to her core with my idiotic behavior.

Over time I had become much better at gaining control over my instincts but she didn't seem to realize that even I had a limit. Being so close to her made it both better and worse. I felt like I was racing up to the edge and then pulling myself back, over and over.

I wasn't sure how much longer I could maintain that delicate balance.

This morning I wanted to shake some sense into her. It was a very close thing. How could she be so cavalier with her life? She sat there and gave me permission to ravish her and, if I lost control because I was too rough with her or if I gave in to the monster that craved her blood, it would be 'fine' with her. Was she clinically insane?

I had been seething with rage but I couldn't let her know how deeply she upset me because I didn't want to frighten her again. Talk about your worst nightmare coming true.

If only she knew how much I longed to make love to her without any restraint. I wanted to throw her on the bed, tear away her flimsy garments, run my hands over her soft, warm flesh and cover her with kisses. I wanted the flames of my desire to ignite within her until she begged me to end my sweet torture and she cried out my name in ecstasy. This was what occupied my mind when she slept so peacefully in my arms. She probably thought I was made of ice… if she only knew.

As long as she was human and I was not, my fantasy could never happen. Not the way I wanted it; not as much as I knew she wanted it, too. My razor sharp teeth could slice through her creamy porcelain skin in a heartbeat, releasing her sweet life's blood that still sang to me, only so very softly now. As long as I maintained control of my baser instincts she would be safe.

Did her humanity mean so little to her? She was so intelligent and perceptive, how could she say something like that to me? The thought of taking her life was abhorrent to me and nothing she said was going make me feel better about it. I knew I was out of options and it must be done sooner or later, but I still preferred later.

We were both virgins and I wanted our first time together to be something special, sacred. That was one of the reasons I insisted we wait until we were married. That, and the fact that I was afraid I either wouldn't be able to please her or I would lose control and kill her. Neither of those outcomes gave me any confidence, and I was well aware that they were both definite possibilities. She was so incredibly breakable, as she had proven numerous times.

When we had been reunited in Volterra and I heard from Alice about Bella's close relationship with Jacob I had briefly wondered if I had been too late and she was no longer a virgin. It had been difficult to tell just by looking at her, as she had changed so much from the happy girl I had so cruelly deserted. The way she had so readily taken me back and demanded to become a vampire so she could be with me had quelled those doubts.

After my first encounter with Jacob I was sure they had not been as physically close as I had feared. He would have enjoyed rubbing my nose in it too much if anything untoward had happened between them. That would come later, unfortunately. Just the thought of him kissing her was enough to raise my ire; I had to put that out of my mind. She was mine now; all mine. I would be the only one to possess her, body and soul. She would never be with that dog or anyone else. I would never let another mistake like that happen again. I would never be such a fool again.

I felt like I was walking a tightrope made out of some of Charlie's fishing line while Bella was busy trying to strike a match to the whole set up.

I told her what seeing her vulnerable and exposed last night did to me, but I don't think she understands. I'm afraid she only feels the rejection and not the love. And I can't blame her; if she is feeling one-tenth the frustration I am it must be unbearable. I need to go for a run. Perhaps I could get in a short run while she's in the shower.

I was feeling warm, just thinking about Bella in the shower. That was the power she had over me. Thinking about the water droplets running down over her delicate, feminine curves. I had seen naked women before but no one ever compared to her. She made me feel so alive, so human. She was almost irresistible and I didn't know how much longer I could restrain myself. She made every inch of me feel like a man. Her body was calling to me and it was getting harder and harder to ignore that call.

Bella POV

I grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe off the hook of the bathroom door and put it on the bench next to the frosted glass door that led to the outdoor shower. Then I stepped outside to inspect the shower. It was enclosed on two sides with walls made of large fieldstones, stacked like bricks, and the rest of the area was open to the bathroom, with the outside wall of the cabin making the final side.

Totally surrounded by tall Douglas fir and Redwood trees the dim morning light softly filtered through the branches. I could hear birds singing and a feeling of tranquility swept over me. The morning dew looked like thousands of tiny pearls covering every surface.

I turned on the shower. It had one of those enormous flat showerheads that looked kind of like a sunflower. While the water was warming up I went back into the bathroom and undressed, then picked up a bath towel and stepped outside.

I found shampoo, conditioner, and soap, everything I would need in a wire basket on the rock wall next to the shower. I washed and rinsed my face and stepped out of the shower stream to shampoo my hair. As I worked up a good lather, through the frosted glass door I could see the bathroom door slowly open and the room flood with light from the bedroom.

I froze. My heart started to race, at first unsure of who opened the door. Then I recognized Edward's silhouette, and that made my heart take off in a sprint. Maybe I was irresistible after all. Crap, crap, crap, why hadn't I left that frosted glass door open?

I saw Edward approach the door and put his hand on the knob. My heart was now pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it, ten feet away. I stepped under the shower and started to rinse my hair. I turned my back to the door, thinking it might be easier for him to open it if I wasn't staring at it.

Rinsing all the shampoo out of my hair, I slowly started turning to face the door again. He was gone. The bathroom was dark again. I burst into tears, the flow from the shower rinsing them away as soon as they touched my cheeks. I rested my head against the rock wall and sobbed bitterly.

I knew I shouldn't feel rejected, but I did, and it hurt. It felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. I knew he was just trying to protect me but I felt so frustrated I wanted to scream. I cried quietly for a minute and then stepped under the shower again. I had to get control of myself. I let the water run over me and wash away my fears.

In just a few weeks we would be married and we would be together forever. I could lie in his strong arms every night and no one could separate us. I could finally kiss him the way I wanted to, and the two of us would come together as one, at last. If that was Edward's plan I would just have to accept it, and try to enjoy the time we had together now. However, eloping to Vegas was beginning to sound like a good idea.

I stepped out of the shower, dried off and went into the bathroom. On the edge of the sink I noticed a candle flickering and a small vase holding a sprig of lavender. Edward must have put them there. I put the bathrobe on, sat down on the bench and combed my wet hair. I took deep breaths and tried to put myself in Edward's shoes.

He had never been in love before either. This was all as new to him as it was to me, even if he had been on earth a lot longer than I had. He wanted me as much as I wanted him, but he was just afraid. It was hard to imagine my strong, powerful vampire soul mate afraid of anything but he was afraid of hurting me, crushing me, killing me.

I hated to admit it, but maybe he was right. I remembered the demonstration he provided by breaking off a piece of his bed and crushing it to dust in a nanosecond. As much as I tried to ignore it at the time, it had made an impression.

I was afraid, too, but not of Edward. I was afraid something dreadful would happen that would prevent us from getting married and being together forever. As long as I was mortal it was possible for some disaster to befall me. Our path had not been an easy one so far, and who knew what lay ahead? I had stumbled, in more ways than one, on the way to our wedding, but I was trying to put that out of my mind and just concentrate on my future with Edward.

I felt much calmer now. I opened the door to the bedroom and paused for a moment. The bed was empty. I took a step forward and looked toward the living room. He was sitting on the sofa, looking into the blazing fire, running a hand through his unruly hair.

He turned when he heard me take a step, and I looked into his topaz eyes and saw a deep sadness. I couldn't stand to see him look like that, knowing it was my fault. I couldn't help myself; I ran to him as fast as I could. He opened his arms and I threw myself into them, tears running down my face.

"Bella, don't cry," he pleaded. "Tell me what's the matter."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I gulped. "Can you forgive me?" I sobbed against his shoulder.

"Bella, please stop apologizing; I am the one in the wrong," he said, bewildered.

I wiped my nose on the hem of the bathrobe, and tried to stop crying. The tears were still welling up though.

"I'm sorry about tempting you. I just realized it must be as difficult for you as it is for me," I tried to explain.

"Oh, that," he said, sounding embarrassed. "Well, yes, it's very difficult for me. I almost lost the battle a few minutes ago. Did you see me?"

I nodded. "I saw you and I wanted you to open that door. I was cursing myself for not leaving it open." Tears continued leak from the corners of my eyes.

He brushed his lips across my face then, drying my tears. His lips were so tender, so gentle as they worked their way across my cheeks. I held still and let him continue his delicate job. I knew what he was doing. He wanted to taste my tears. He wanted to taste the very essence of me. He wanted to taste all of me.

If I told the truth, I would have to say I liked it. I knew it was dangerous but something about how he never seemed to be able to get enough of me made me feel wanted. He had been first attracted to me because of my blood, so I had to be grateful that the combination of my parent's DNA had produced something so unusual.

I couldn't blame him. I loved the way he smelled. Pressing my nose against his chest and inhaling the sweet nectar that he exuded was heaven to me. I just hoped I smelled half as good to him. I longed for the day when we didn't have to be so careful with each other. I wanted to be able to kiss him the way I only imagined doing, and I would be thrilled when he could actually bite me and leave only the evidence of love and not death.

He had pulled me into his lap and tried to comfort me. "After the bath last night, and then your nightmare this morning, I'm a little off balance," he explained, tightening his grip around my waist. "Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. My nightmare was not about you, I'm sure of that," but I was afraid to tell him that I thought it might be about me. I had stopped crying but my eyelashes were still wet.

"Well, whatever, this being together every minute of the day and night is more of a challenge than I thought it would be," he said.

My eyes widened in shock and I sat up straight. This trip had been his idea and now he was complaining about being alone with me?

He must have been startled by the look in my eyes because he quickly said, "I didn't mean it like that; I love being with you, it's just so difficult to keep my hands off of you. You have no idea how desirable you are."

I relaxed against him. "I know what you mean, Edward. I feel the same way about you," I smiled.

He looked deep into my eyes. "Bella, you have a enchanting body and an even more beautiful soul," I was blushing beet red as he continued, "and I'm not going to be responsible for," he paused, searching for the right word, "for harming either one of them," he finished.

He took my hands and kissed them. "We still have a lot to learn about each other. I want to explore every inch of you, but in your current fragile state I don't dare," he said softly.

I sighed, and said, "At least now I know you really want me the way I want you."

"Bella, I told you once before I am a man, and you've become an exquisitely beautiful woman right before my eyes."

I couldn't help it; I blushed again.

"You already drive me wild with desire. I yearn for all of you, in every way," he said ardently.

"I want you too, Edward. In every way," I breathed.

"Bella, your thirst for me does not threaten my life. I am so afraid of losing control where you are concerned. You don't seem to understand the risk." I started to interrupt, to tell him he would be able to maintain control, but he put his finger to my lips and said, "No, you must listen. There are things we haven't discussed. Perhaps this is the time to start talking about them."

I gulped. I knew we needed to have this discussion but I was dreading it.

AN: Time for that review now: hit that button on the left and Go. I want to thank my beta, not done baking, for all her hard work. Another friend, Ranma15177 has also agreed to offer her insight and skills to help shape and refine this tale from this point on. I'm very lucky and grateful to have help like this, so cheerfully given. Ranma15177 has a wonderful story about how Carlisle and Esme got together; it's called Making A Home and if you like my story I bet you'll like hers, too. You can get to her through a link in my Favorites lists. Check it out.