AN: I'm still thanking everyone who voted for my story at The Denali Coven to make Blue Moon Over Manka's the winner of the Danger Magnet Award for Best Bella Characterization. I put the cool little graphic of Bella/Kristen that says "Danger Magnet," in the Blue Moon Photo Album along with a photo of the clasped hand rings mentioned in the previous chapter. I've added new photos of Bella's wardrobe, too. Get to the Album through a link on my Profile page.
This chapter is different from the one I had planned. I received several requests for the last chapter from Edward's perspective. People wanted to know details that only he knew, and while I don't usually do the same material from both their points of view, I got some inspiration and wrote this new chapter. It's the longest chapter EVER, so I hope it was worth the wait. Plus, we haven't been inside Edward's head since Chapter 21, so come on everybody, here we go…
Chapter 27: Try To See It My Way
"Do you think they sell postcards of this?" Bella asked me, eyes full of wonder.
"Perhaps we should check out the gift shop and see," I replied, starting to escort her from the gallery.
We arrived at the museum shop on the ground floor, and immediately headed toward the wall that held the postcards. After a quick scan of the Dali cards I could see, thankfully, my portrait was not among them. I glanced at her to find her smiling at me; she was so lovely and trusting, and I wanted to keep her that way.
I had already scanned the shop for any signs of that deranged degenerate who had designs on her, but I was pleased to confirm that we had been able to slip away from the third floor galleries without his noticing.
His mind was so disturbed I did not relish monitoring his every vile thought. They rattled around in his head like the rusty blades of an old room fan; spinning rapidly and then wobbling to a standstill as if the short in his brain was a response to some frayed wiring in his nervous system. As long as two floors separated us I would seek to concentrate on Bella alone, my perfect distraction from the ugliness of the real world.
"Edward, could you see if they have any books about Dali? Maybe your portrait is in one of them, and I was thinking it might be nice to get a book about architecture or landscaping for Esme… you probably already know what books she has. See if they have anything new here, could you?"
"Of course, I would be happy to," I said, pleased to be of service, since my sweetheart so seldom requested anything of me. Not surprisingly, even this request was borne of her thoughtfulness toward my family.
As I started for the bookshelves I noticed she went to center of the room to look at a counter full of jewelry. That was different; she usually did not show much interest in jewelry or any kind of adornments. Her style was simple and uncomplicated, allowing her natural beauty to be more easily appreciated. I wondered if all the time she had been spending with Alice was making an impression on her. More likely she was looking for a gift for Alice to repay her for all her efforts as our wedding planner. As if letting Alice play dress up with her wasn't thanks enough.
I quickly scanned through the appropriate books, putting a couple aside, but could ascertain nothing of real interest.
"Find anything?" Bella inquired lightly, returning to my side.
"Yes, here are two books on Dali," I said, pointing to the books on a table to my right, "but my portrait isn't in either of them. I haven't found any architecture books that Esme doesn't already have either."
She gave the Dali books a cursory glance and then said, "Well, that's all right, it was just a thought." She stood next to me and placed her hand on my arm, immediately commanding my full attention. She was luminous, glowing. She seemed a bit excited, but it was probably just relief that my portrait wasn't being reproduced for mass consumption.
"I'm really thirsty, and I need a human moment. While I'm in the restroom do you think you could get me a bottle of water from the Café?"
"It would be my pleasure," I said, smiling down at her and taking her hand in mine.
We started walking out of the gift store and back into the lobby of the museum. The restroom was immediately to the left and the Café was on the other side of the huge lobby down a long hallway on the right. This wing of the museum was virtually deserted and I monitored the minds of the museum's inhabitants to locate the deviant. He had gone out to smoke. Good. As long as he was so occupied outside I could leave her in the restroom and be relatively sure of her safety.
"I'll be right back," I said, letting go of her hand. "Don't wander off." I would be back before she was finished, with luck.
She gave me a sweet smile and said, "Take your time, I'll be a few minutes," and I watched as she turned and pressed her palm against the door of the Ladies Room.
She would be fine on her own for a short time. I started walking briskly toward the Café. When I arrived I immediately picked up a bottle of water and got in line to pay, but I could tell this was not going to be the work of a moment. There were several women ahead of me who were fumbling with their wallets and arguing over who was going to treat whom. I quickly extracted two singles from my wallet and got out of line, walking directly up to the cashier, an attractive redheaded girl who turned her attention to me at once.
"Sorry, I'm in a bit of a hurry, please keep the change," I said, smiling at her as I handed her the cash.
"Thanks," she said, giving me a wide smile as she thought, come back again when you've got more time, handsome. I shook my head as I swiftly made my way toward the exit.
As I walked through the atrium I listened to ascertain that the lunatic was still outside indulging in just one of his many filthy habits, but I heard nothing. I hurried over to the glass doors and peered outside but he was no longer there, nor was he visible anywhere in the park that I could see from my vantage point. I quickened my pace as I searched to find his thoughts, but the short in his neuroelectrical system was making it difficult. I could only catch the whirring fragments of a scheme, then he was curiously silent. This was not good. I should never have left Bella for even a moment.
I arrived at the door to the Ladies Room and immediately picked up her scent on the door, but I could hear no one's thoughts on the other side of the door, and no audible sounds, either. Bella wasn't in there, no one was; wasting no time I pushed the door open and stepped inside, took a quick look and charged out into the hall again. Where was she? I felt an icy hand reach into my chest and painfully squeeze the space where my still, cold heart resided. Terror shot through me as I anxiously began searching for her.
I turned to the left but there was no trace of her scent in that direction, so I swiftly turned back and began to retrace my steps toward the gift shop. Of course her scent would linger here; we had just been here together a few minutes ago. I listened for her heartbeat as I frantically began to run. Now that I knew exactly what it was like to be so close to her it would be even more unbearable to lose her.
My fear and frustration rose as I detected his scent, mixed with the cigarette smoke that permeated his skin. If he had so much as touched her I would snap his neck and I wouldn't care who was watching. I whipped out my cell phone as I sprinted toward the gift shop. If he had her, what were they still doing in the museum? His plan was to incapacitate her and drag her out as quickly as he could. I must get to her before it was too late. Why had I ever left her alone? I should have known better.
I detected her heartbeat, still beating a normal rhythm. That had to be a good thing, didn't it? Perhaps he had her, but she was still conscious, and showing no fear. I pressed her cell number on speed dial as I neared the gift shop.
I slowed, finally able to hear his thoughts clearly. He was frustrated and losing patience. He didn't abduct her from the restroom; he followed her, and now he was unable to attract her attention and unable to spray the drug in her face while the sales clerk was hovering so close to Bella. That piece of vermin wanted to take my angel away from me, but I would stop him before he could lay one of his filthy hands on her.
I arrived at the threshold of the gift shop and immediately surveyed the scene. There she stood with her back to me, so fragile, so vulnerable, and so unaware of the danger just an arm's reach from her. My panic was subsiding, but it was quickly replaced by anger that built as I watched as her cell phone rang and she stumbled, clutching onto the display counter to keep herself from falling over. Bella was ignoring the phone's ringing but her heart did skip a beat. She continued to take her wallet out of her bag, oblivious to the monster hovering right next to her.
Her body showed no indication of fear; I could detect no surge of adrenaline polluting her sweet scent. I was both irritated and relieved. She did not need to know the horrors this fiend had planned for her in his rotting, twisted little mind but I was aware of exactly what he wanted to do and I would stop him. I knew I didn't deserve her, but I didn't deserve to have her taken away from me like this, either. I began to move forward slowly, not wanting to startle him into grabbing her.
The sales girl had enough sense to know this guy was bad news… the worst kind of news, actually-- but Bella seemed unaware of his presence at her elbow. That was enough; that vile scum had to be stopped, and now. I strode purposefully toward him, and restraining myself as much as I could under the circumstances, placed my body in front of Bella's so that pathetic excuse for a human being was forced to take a step away from her.
"Excuse me, my fiancée needs my help with this transaction," I growled as I set the water bottle down as gently as I could, considering I wanted to tear this monster's head off. He took another step back and recognized that his plan had zero chance of success now. He had a strong sense of self-preservation for someone so unbalanced.
Too bad Bella's instinct was so severely lacking in that area. She placed almost no value on herself at all. Did she not even realize what she meant to me? To my family? I was going to have to speak with her about this incident and I knew it would not be pretty. I would postpone that until it was absolutely necessary. It was so disconcerting to be unable to read her thoughts, but I could hear her heart rate accelerating now, excited by what I might do.
I threw out my chest and made myself as tall and threatening as possible, clenching my fists and taking a step towards the vile deviant. The nicotine drenched troll was already planning his escape.
"Leave," I snarled as I took another step toward him glaring at him malevolently. That was all it took; he almost ran out of the shop, and not a moment too soon. I wanted to do nothing more than rip his throat out, and in my rebellious years that is exactly what I would have done. Such a criminal did not deserve to live and carry out his lewd plans on unsuspecting young girls. I would put a stop to that before the day was through.
I had to control those urges before I turned back to face Bella. I tried to keep her from seeing the monster lurking under the gentle façade I tried to project for her benefit. I took several deep breaths before looking in her direction.
I could tell from her flashing eyes and the tension visible around her mouth she seemed to be annoyed with me. What was her problem? Did she not realize how close she came to having her life irrevocably damaged and possibly destroyed? I knew I had no way of reading her mind but I was so far from understanding it, I was frustrated to the point of distraction.
Thank god the sales girl had been here, helping Bella. There was no one else in the gift shop and if not for her, who knows what might have happened. Unfortunately she was now completely enthralled with me and was busy doing her best to figure out how to give me her number without Bella realizing it.
"You were not where you said you would be and you didn't answer your cell phone," I said in a low tone, striving to hide my aggravation. "I was worried when I couldn't find you and then I discover you being preyed upon by a pervert," I concluded in a whisper as I draped my arm around her delicate shoulder.
I wanted to envelope her in my embrace and crush her against me but that would have to wait for a more suitable environment. I settled for sliding my arm around her and drawing her close to me, needing to feel her warm little body against mine to provide the calm and reassurance I so desperately sought. Just the thought of losing Bella had shaken me to my core. Now I could take a deep breath and inhale her natural fragrance, better than any perfume. Every single thing about her drew me to her and I was so relieved to have found her safe I wanted to pick her up and spin her around; it was taking all my self control to merely hold her next to me.
"He was just trying to get my attention,'" she complained, "but I didn't even respond."
This was going too far; she had not perceived him as a threat at all. Her ability to ascertain the dangerous from the non-dangerous was still as faulty as ever.
"You didn't hear what he was thinking; I warned you about him. You have no idea what he was planning," I hissed. "I can't leave you alone for a moment. We are going to have to discuss this. What were you thinking?"
"Way to spoil a surprise," she muttered, probably thinking I would understand her. Oh, she meant the watch she was attempting to buy. I had already seen this watch in the sales girl's mind. It was supposed to be a present for me.
"A surprise?" I tried to sound interested since I realized this wasn't the best place to discuss what had just happened.
Bella frowned at me, but said nothing else. She was mad at me for spoiling her surprise. What a silly goose. I was so grateful to find her unharmed I decided to play along. I wanted to make that frown disappear from her beautiful brow.
"For me? What is it?" I made my voice sound eager.
"If I tell you it's no longer a surprise. Go away for a few minutes," she ordered me.
Fat chance; I was not about to let go of her, not even for a second.
"Well I know about it now anyway," I told her, drawing her even closer to me. She didn't resist, so she couldn't be too upset with me.
"Yes, but I can still surprise you with it; you can't see through the bag."
Did she really believe I didn't know what she had been up to? Had she been concentrating so hard on executing her little subterfuge she was unaware that I had already gained all the details I needed from the almost drooling sales girl? I gazed at her with a bemused expression; let her make what she could of it.
Her head was turned toward me and she took a deep breath, evidently struggling to calm herself; her eyes seemed to glaze over momentarily. I think she was intoxicated by my proximity. She looked as if she wanted to say something but the part of her brain that controlled speech seemed to have dissolved. Good… I was going to need all my dazzling abilities to finesse my way through this next maneuver. Then she shook her head and the mists appeared to have cleared.
"Please go look at the books or something and let me finish paying for this," Bella requested of me once she had regained her senses.
"I'm not leaving you alone again," I said briskly, leaving no room for argument. She had given me the slip for the last time. I would personally escort her inside the Ladies Room from now on, if necessary.
I deftly slipped my credit card out of the wallet in my jacket pocket and handed it to the sales girl who had made no attempt to hide her gawking at me since I had entered the room. I turned my attention to her, giving her a dazzling smile and leaning forward as I said, "Thank you so much for assisting my fiancée. Would you please put her purchase on this card?"
"Edward, stop it. I'm paying for this," Bella actually hissed at me before glancing around to make sure we were still the only ones in the shop.
The sales girl was so entranced with me she took the card and automatically swiped it through the reader and handed it back to me, completely under my spell. She didn't want to tear her eyes away from me. I felt Bella stiffen and she let out a short puff of breath which I greedily inhaled; heavenly.
She looked up at me with narrowed eyes, still annoyed. If she thought I was going to let her spend her money on me she was sadly mistaken. She had insisted on working at Newton's for a pittance of what she was worth, and I wasn't about to let her spend that hard earned salary on me. I wanted her to use that money on herself, to buy the books and things she wouldn't let me buy for her. I knew she needed to feel independent, but she should fulfill her needs first; as long as I had her I didn't need anything else, although I was delighted that she wanted to get me a present.
I quickly signed the charge slip the poor dazed girl slid across the counter for me. I never stopped searching Bella's face for a sign she was softening toward me. So far none was forthcoming. She was still angry. The fire in her eyes and glow on her cheeks just made her that much more attractive.
"Edward, I have money. You can't pay for this. It's not a gift from me if you pay for it."
Was that what was bothering her? Money again. This was so silly. I would show her the error of her ways.
"I accept your premise but I reject your conclusion," I said lightly.
"What are you talking about?" The confused look on her face was delightful; she looked so pure and innocent.
"You found it, you chose it, and you will give it to me. How is that not a gift?"
"Because you paid for it," Bella protested.
"It's the thought that counts. Believe me, I know that better than anyone," I said, smiling at her determination to get a present for me. In this little scheme she had the most noble of motives, even if her execution was somewhat faulty. She was all the gift I would ever need.
I watched as she capitulated, roughly putting the cash back into her purse. She sighed and slowly pushed a strand of her long, silky hair behind her ear, her engagement ring sparkling under the overhead spotlights in the store. Then she placed her left hand down on the counter under the salesgirl's nose. Bella was jealous. Completely misplaced, but I found it adorable.
The sales girl knew she was defeated as she gazed at the antique diamond ring I had persuaded Bella to wear and she handed the bag with my watch in it to Bella, saying, "You are a very lucky girl. Thank you and have a nice day."
"This is not over," Bella whispered to me in an attempt to intimidate me. If she only knew how tantalizing I found her when she was like this.
"I hope not," I retorted, and before she could move I smiled at the salesgirl again, saying, "Excuse me, could you please show us that ring," pointing at a silver ring with two hands clasped together.
I knew the origin of this ring; it had been forged of iron in ancient Rome and signified a commitment between two people in love. Worn on the right hand it meant a girl was betrothed and on the left, married. The design had migrated to Ireland with the conquering Roman army and was used there as a token of the faith that a couple would marry. Decades of reading left me with more information on cultural phenomenon than a Masters Degree would have and I was grateful for that now.
"Certainly," the girl replied hopefully, thinking she might have another crack at me. She was delusional, but I still had to be thankful her very presence had deterred that maniac from acting on his evil impulses. "This was part of a Celtic exhibit we had a couple of months ago. It's actually made of three narrow bands that are hinged and it opens up so you can see a heart underneath the two hands."
"Do you like it, Bella?" I used my voice as I sought to lull her into a receptive mood, not an easy task given her penchant for refusing presents, especially jewelry.
She stared at the ring, frowning but not making a reply. Well, at least it wasn't an outright rejection. I decided to endeavor to be even more persuasive as I leaned over and gently took the ring box from the sales girl.
"Would you try it on?" Please? For me? I hoped she could hear the love and adoration in my tone.
"I guess so," she said reluctantly. That was all I needed. I took her right hand in mine, feeling the familiar spark, and easily slipped the ring on her third finger; good practice for our upcoming wedding. It fit perfectly.
"You know you already have my heart, but this could be a sweet reminder," I whispered in her ear, and felt her shiver in response. "I would put a ring on every finger if you would let me."
She appeared to be deep in thought, contemplating the ring I had just slipped on her delicate finger. Did she enjoy torturing me like this or was she unconscious of what this silent internal deliberation did to me? She was teaching me patience whether I wanted to learn it or not.
Then I saw her eyes flicker in excitement and she asked the salesgirl, "Does this ring come in larger sizes?"
"Yes, I think we have a few left," the girl replied, disappearing under the counter for a moment. She stood up and put three ring boxes on the counter.
"Would you wear this ring?" Bella asked, looking up at me with hope and something else indefinable in her twinkling brown eyes.
"I am rather hard on jewelry, Bella… but I could try if it would make you happy," I responded, opening the box with the ring in my size.
She quickly reached out and plucked the ring out of the box. I had to steady myself as I realized what she was about to do. It had been so easy for me to slip this ring on her finger, but now the thought of her doing the same for me was unnerving. She was so easy to love but I still found it difficult to believe I deserved her love in return. I tried hard not to tremble when she took my left hand in hers.
She slipped the ring on my wedding ring finger. Oh, how I wished this was our wedding day. Making her my wife and ensuring our future together was almost all I could think about now, especially after this narrow escape she had just endured.
"It might be a good idea for you to wear this until the wedding," she murmured.
"Why is that?" I kept my voice light, not wanting to betray the deep emotion she stirred in me.
"It kind of looks like a wedding ring and I need all the help I can get where you're concerned," she whispered, glancing at the sales girl who was still staring at me.
I had to laugh. If she only knew how little she had to worry about other women where I was concerned. No one even came close to her; they might as well have been invisible for all the notice I took of them. Wild horses couldn't drag me away from Bella. Nothing could, and yet she thought she needed to mark me as hers. I was elated.
I handed my credit card to the still dazzled girl and said, "We will take both rings."
This brought on another round of protests from Bella. "Wait. Edward, let me pay for yours. I'm still trying to get you a gift."
I nodded at the girl to go ahead and said to my fiancee, "Bella, when will you learn… it is a gift when you let me spoil you."
"I said no extra gifts this weekend; it was part of our deal," she reminded me.
"You already agreed to accept this ring," I objected.
"Yes, but I didn't agree to let you pay for your own gifts," she argued.
"I do not recall any prohibition against me buying something for myself," I said, pointing out the loophole in our agreement as I signed the charge slip.
"Thank you so much for allowing me to help you," the sales girl gushed, leaning over the counter to retrieve the charge slip and get a little closer to me.
I felt Bella grow rigid as she cast a black look at the girl and raised one eyebrow. She was getting territorial about me. I was startled as she grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me down to her level. She slid her other hand around my neck and said, "Yes, thank you, Edward," before reaching up to give me a big kiss.
This was my Bella, my one and only love. I wrapped my arms around her back and relaxed into the kiss, returning it with enthusiasm. I slid my hands down to rest at her waist as I reluctantly pulled my lips away from hers and whispered, "Bella, let's continue this somewhere not so public."
"Fine with me," she said, picking up the water bottle from the counter and turning away from the envious girl without so much as a backward glance.
I kept one arm around her waist and started toward the exit.
"Oh, wait. I really do need a human moment; it was just a ruse, earlier. So much for my cunning plan."
I made no immediate reply but turned and started escorting her back to the Ladies Room. She was still annoyed with me for spoiling her surprise. If she only knew what that little effort almost wrought. Our futures could have been forever changed, just when we were so close to getting everything we wanted. I would have to speak with her about this eventually.
"Bella, I am very pleased that you found something you think I will like as a surprise. That is all that matters; that you were thinking of me."
"I'm always thinking of you, Edward. Don't you know that?"
It was impossible to be upset with her for very long, even when she put her own life at risk. "You are always in my thoughts too, Bella."
We had arrived at the restroom "I'll be right back," she said, handing me the water bottle as I took up my spot as sentinel, leaning against the wall opposite the door. From my previous visit I knew that was the only entrance and exit. I didn't have any worries there, although it was beginning to seem that there wasn't a moment in the day when I could be unconcerned about her welfare.
This thoughtless escapade of hers was enough to serve as a wake up call of sorts, for me. Somehow I had thought getting her away on a vacation would be a stress reliever, not a stress producer. Still, she seemed relatively unfazed by the whole experience. I wanted Bella to maintain her innocence but she had to be made aware of some harsh realities for her own protection. I couldn't run the risk of her trying to do something like this again.
I idly turned the new ring on my finger, thinking about our upcoming wedding. If only I could keep her safe until that day. I would have to return her to Charlie when we went back to Forks, and I hated to think of spending even a moment of the next few weeks away from her. I was enjoying the freedom of being with her around the clock, with no interruptions from family or obligations, and knew it would make leaving her at Charlie's even more difficult.
I looked up as Bella reappeared and saw her break into a smile. She was so lovely, so effortlessly charming. She was also missing something.
"What happened to my present?" I asked, thinking she might have set it down in the restroom and forgotten to retrieve it.
"That's for me to know and you to find out, and that's what happens when you spoil a surprise," she said with the air of someone who was determined to teach me a lesson.
She must have hidden the watch in her purse and decided not to give it to me after all. I was a bit disappointed; it could no longer be a surprise so what was the point of not giving it to me now? I wondered if after a hundred years with her I would be any better able to understand how her mind worked.
I took her hand and we started walking toward the exit and out to the sidewalk. We walked for a minute in silence. I tried to calculate how long she was going to punish me for rescuing her; it was truly ludicrous, but I wanted to postpone the inevitable discussion of her disregarding her own safety for as long as possible. I decided to delicately test the waters.
"You are not really mad are you?" I asked gently.
"I wish you would have let me pay for your gift. I can afford it."
So this really was about my paying for the watch; how utterly absurd. "I have told you that money is meaningless. It is the thought that counts."
Bella instantly began to protest. "But it makes me feel like I don't measure up, because I will never be your equal when it comes to money, and …"
Surely she couldn't believe that, it was pure nonsense. "I am very sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that. That did not occur to me because I always think of you as being so superior to me in every way. Just being with you is the greatest gift, and if I spent ten million dollars on you it would not be enough to show how much I care."
I could have easily said a hundred million dollars, but I didn't think she would actually grasp that figure. Vast sums of money had a way of being hard to comprehend. Her value was beyond measuring, anyway. I only wanted to convince her that my love for her wasn't dependent on anything she could ever buy for me. Her acceptance of me, and her mere presence at my side meant more to me than all the money in the world.
We had been walking through the Park toward the car but Bella seemed to be lost in thought, and as usual, I had no clue as to what had so absorbed her. Her face wasn't offering any indication of her brain activity. We reached the SUV in the lot next to the museum and I opened the door and helped her into the passenger seat.
Remembering she had requested a bottle of water but never drank it, once she was settled, I handed it to her. She grasped it momentarily and then let it slip into her lap. Before I could move she reached up and put her arms around my neck. Her heart fluttered and she suddenly seemed to be shaken; perhaps she was having a delayed reaction to the unpleasantness in the gift shop.
The warmth radiating from her was impossible to ignore and I felt myself being drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I leaned in, putting my hands on her tiny waist, hoping to offer her some comfort. I was aching to hold her anyway, regretting my stupidity at leaving her alone in the museum for even a moment. I brought my face close so that her eyes were level with mine. I waited to see what she needed of me.
"You don't ever have to buy anything to prove how much you love me, Edward. So, if I follow that logic, I guess it isn't really important for me to pay for something to prove how much I love you, either. I sometimes feel like the differences between us are so great, I'm just not good enough for you. I love you too much to ever let you go, though."
She had to be the sweetest girl in the world, and I, the luckiest man. I was thrilled she was acknowledging that money would not define our relationship but disturbed that she would ever think she wasn't good enough for me. It was her vow that she loved me too much to ever let me go that sent me sailing over the edge.
I slid my arms around her back, pulling her closer to me. I quickly pressed my cold, hard mouth to her warm, soft one, thinking only of how much I never wanted to let her go. As my lips moved against hers I was overwhelmed by my need and desire for her.
I wrapped my left arm completely around her and rested my hand on her waist, bringing my other hand up to caress her smooth, delicate cheek. I craved this kind of contact with her, and Bella responded by pressing herself against me, trying to mold her soft curves to fit the hard planes of my body and the friction she created doing this set me on fire.
Her hands on either side of my neck set off the lightening in my veins, making me feel alive again. I deepened our kiss and I could tell she was surprised, but not unpleasantly so, as she dug her fingers into my shoulders in return. I could barely feel the pressure but I knew she was attempting to indicate her desire for me, which only spurred me on. Her heart was beating wildly and could feel it thumping against my chest.
Her fervent response unlocked something inside of me, something I usually tried to suppress out of regard for her fragile state. My resistance was crumbling. The thought of how close I came to losing her, how we might never have been able to touch and hold each other like this again made me desperately cling to her and pour all of my passion into this kiss.
My hand traveled up her side until my fingertips brushed against her breast. Her ripe, succulent lips called to me, whispering their sweet song. I was finding it difficult to contain my excitement; hell, I didn't want to contain it any longer. I wanted to convey to her the depth of the feelings she inspired in me. Bella needed to understand just how much I loved and desired her.
My lips moved against hers hungrily and with more purpose. My tongue darted out and flicked against her delicious upper lip. She parted her lips and I didn't hesitate to stroke my tongue against hers, tasting Bella's warm, moist mouth, so soft and smooth, the purest ambrosia. She responded, pulling my tongue even deeper into her mouth. There was no other sensation like this, sending waves of pleasure through me. I could stay locked in this embrace with her for eternity. The temptation of her body far outweighed the temptation of her blood for me now.
Her legs were parted, unconsciously I suspected, and I slid my knee up to the seat between them, until I gently made contact; she reacted immediately, arching her back, moving herself closer to me. The love I felt for her was overwhelming and my hunger for her body flamed even more. I held my body against hers, pressing her against the seat, constantly monitoring my strength so as not to hurt her. I remembered how she told me she liked this feeling; it made her happy and safe. It did much more than that for me. I had to fight hard to resist the urge to shred the pesky clothing covering her all too alluring body. I wished I could push the button to recline the seat and ravish her right this minute.
I sheathed my venom-coated teeth with my lips and pulled her bottom lip between mine, gently sucking on it with increased passion as she tightened the hold she had on my hair, letting me feel her desire for me. I slid my tongue across her tender lips and she made a small sound in the back of her throat and ran one hand down the back of my neck and under my collar, making my skin tingle from her touch. Pleasure filled me like a warm mist; this feeling was all too unfamiliar and I could not wait for the time when it became the norm.
All my senses were reeling and I felt her body tremble under mine. I reluctantly tore my mouth away from hers as she gasped for breath. I didn't loosen my hold on her though; I wanted to prolong this gratifying contact for as long as possible. I pushed the hair away from her neck and buried my face in the soft, tender flesh of her throat, panting and inhaling in her scent. I was intoxicated and continued to cling to her, not wanting this moment to end but knowing it must.
"Bella, you are so far above me I will never be your equal. What can I do to make you understand that?" I murmured against her neck, unable and unwilling to tear my lips away from her fragrant, heated skin. Her heart was still beating like a hummingbird's wings and the pulse under my lips throbbed accordingly. She was the only woman in the world who could make me feel weak with desire.
She moved her hand up to my hair and ran her wicked little fingers through it, encouraging me to kiss my way down the long, lovely column of her neck to her shoulder. I would have liked to have gone even lower but I was somewhat aware we were in the parking lot of a pubic park and I had already gone too far for proprieties sake, although thankfully there was no one around us. I couldn't force myself to care very much as this point anyway. Contemplating the loss of the person you loved more than anything had a way of doing that to you.
Bella seemed to be struggling to say something. My lips paused in their exploration of her shoulder for a moment.
"But I want us to be equals, Edward," she said faintly.
I raised my face and looked into the clear depths of her eyes again. As much as I dreaded the day when we were equals, I hoped the expansion of our physical relationship would be worth it for her. She was giving up so much to be with me, I would spend every day of forever striving to make sure she didn't regret it.
"We can be equal partners in our marriage, Bella, but you will always be so much better than me it's immeasurable."
She sighed but it didn't seem to be from disappointment. She looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "We're just going to have to agree to disagree on that, Edward."
My angel was being so reasonable I decided to press my luck. "Does that mean I am forgiven?"
"Yes, I guess so," she said, still playing with my hair, which did nothing to calm me down.
I slowly pulled my knee away from her and languidly began to disentangle myself from her wholly too enticing body. When my foot touched the ground I took a step and stumbled slightly; she was literally knocking me off my feet. I gripped the door frame to steady myself and smiled at her. She had no idea of the effect she had on me.
"So do I get my surprise now?" I was attempting to channel the excitement I felt for her into something more socially acceptable at the moment.
She looked as if she were tempted to give in but struggled against that impulse. A look of resolve came over her refined features and she set her jaw stubbornly. I was not going to get a reprieve.
"Not just yet. I want you to think about how you need to give me the chance to do things for you. Our relationship is not just a one way street."
"You already give me so much, Bella. This weekend trip is like a dream come true."
"I agree with you about that. I'm having a wonderful time."
My cue to make that time a bit less wonderful, but it must be done, for your own good, you bewitching, fragile creature. "I am glad to hear it, but there is something unpleasant we need to discuss before we go any further," I began, injecting a new, serious tone in my voice.
"What?" she gulped, her dark, mysterious eyes searching my face.
I reluctantly released my hold on her and straightened up, stepping back and closing the car door. I slowly walked in front of the car to slip in behind the wheel. I wanted to make sure she understood I wasn't angry with her, I was angry because of the situation. It wasn't her fault, but I could not let her remain blithely unaware of the danger she had been in; it was imperative that she be more careful in the future.
I picked up both her tiny hands and held them in mine while I gazed at her, wondering how to begin this unpleasant task. She already looked nervous and I could smell the adrenaline start to flow in her veins. Bella could be pursued by a madman and show no fear, but just the slightest word from me set her off. I was doubtful that I would ever completely comprehend how her brain worked.
As gently as I could I began to speak. "I understand that you were only trying to surprise me, but do you have any idea what I went through when I arrived back at the restroom and found you missing?"
Bella gave a dismissive shake of her head as if what I had just said was meaningless. Her movement caused her scent to assault me and I exhaled, trying to remain focused; her very being was such a distraction.
Using a very casual tone she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I could buy your gift before you got back. You're just too speedy, Edward."
She continued to make light of the situation; I would have to be direct. "No, Bella, you are not grasping the problem. I had already warned you about that disgusting deviant; he had been following you since we entered the building. I told you he was dangerous. I only agreed to leave you at the restroom because I knew he was outside smoking. I thought you would be safe for a few minutes and I trusted you," I explained, taking a more stern tone and giving her a hard look.
I could tell I was finally starting to make an impression. Her brow creased and she chewed her lip thoughtfully but made no response.
"Evidently as soon as I entered the Café to get your water he came back in the museum and started looking for you. I thought you would be safe in the Ladies Room. Imagine my abject panic when I arrived and found you gone. I went in there looking for you," I told her, a matching frown on my face, "and I was ready to tear that museum apart to find you."
"Oh, I am sorry, Edward, I just didn't think—"
"Yes, Bella, that is exactly the problem. You don't give your own safety the proper consideration. This danger magnet business is not funny; you seem to attract the worst kind of predators. You have a propensity for rushing headlong into situations that put you in peril. I had hoped that you had somewhat conquered that particular trait but after what you just did, I see that it was too much to hope for," I said with a sigh, hoping to convey my disappointment in her behavior.
"I'm sorry, Edward, but nothing terrible happened. I can be on my own for five minutes. I was in a public place after all, and although that man did find me, he only tried to get my attention, and he failed at that," she said, sounding defensive. "It wasn't such a big deal," she concluded, evidently annoyed by my lecture. She pulled her hands away from mine and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
I crossed my arms over my chest, already aching for the loss of her touch. This was torturous. She just wasn't comprehending the danger. She refused to listen to reason. She had put her life at risk and still did not realize it. I knew she could be stubborn, but this was ridiculous. She was going to force me into being blunt with her; I debated with myself over exactly how much to tell her. I hated to do it, but if it were the only way she would understand just how serious the situation had been, I would do it.
"Bella, he had an aerosol drug in his pocket that would have made you unconscious in a matter of seconds. He was trying to get close enough to you so that you would inhale it and he could then have kidnapped you. No one would have stopped him. It would have all happened very quickly. If I hadn't found you when I did, I could have lost you forever," I said, unable to hide my anguish at this thought.
From the look of shock on her face I knew I had finally said something that made an impression. She looked horrified as the enormity of what almost happened sunk in.
"Did you know about this from when we first saw him?" She asked, her voice rising in a controlled panic, along with the throbbing vein at the base of her throat.
"Not his whole plan, but I told you he was dangerous, criminal. Young girls, art students, come here alone to study and sketch, and he is lying in wait for them. I warned you about him but you seem to have no sense of self preservation," I said, a note of resentment creeping into my voice. How could she put herself at risk like that? "You must be more careful. I could not go on without you, Bella."
"Why didn't you tell me just how dangerous he was?" she asked in an accusatory manner.
Great. Now she was going to be angry with me for endeavoring to protect her from knowing about the terrors that lurked around her. She wanted the truth, but I could not bring myself to tell her the whole truth; it was too ugly. I was not about to detail all the grotesque things that fiend wanted to do to her.
"Because I do not want to be the one to open your eyes to how horrible people can be. I have seen things like this for decades and I want to protect you from anything unpleasant. I did tell you he was dangerous. I did warn you. I should not have to elaborate."
I knew I was sounding harsh now, and I loathed myself for it, but she insisted on playing with fire and one day I was afraid she was going to get burned. If I could not open her eyes to the way she nonchalantly sailed through her life, disregarding the danger signals and my warnings, I feared I would lose her forever.
Bella turned away from me and looked down at the floor. Her long, silky hair fell forward, forming a curtain between us. I knew I had wounded her and wanted nothing more than to gather her in my arms and cling to her like the lifeline she was. I longed to kiss her gently until she felt safe again and make her believe that I would always be there to keep the dangers at bay.
I kept myself still, as painful as it was not to be touching her. I didn't want to force the next step on her. If she needed time to process this startling information I would give it to her and not react until she let me know what she was thinking, as frustrating as it was for me.
I hoped in these moments of silence she was beginning to understand that I would cease to exist without her. If anything happened to Bella, Alice would be shattered and Jasper would have his hands full putting her back together. Esme, well, Esme didn't bear thinking about. She could not stand to lose another child, and she had become especially fond of Bella, accepting her as my mate even before I did.
I couldn't restrain myself any longer. I had to touch her, let her know I was here for her. I reached over and grazed her cheek with my fingertips and she shuddered in response. I hoped it wasn't from the coldness that shrouded my body.
I was compelled to help her understand her place in our family. "Bella, you are too careless with your life. You do not seem to understand how valuable you are; not only would I be lost without you, but Alice and the whole family would be irreparably broken. Carlisle and Esme already love you like you were their own daughter."
She nodded her head but still remained silent. I had given her time to think and it was driving me insane that she still would not respond. Had I pushed her too far? Was she regretting her choice to come on this trip, to be with me at all? Or was this mute withdrawal simply a reaction to my information about how close that maniac came to ruining all of our lives? I chose to believe the latter option, as the previous ones were too devastating to contemplate for more than a moment. If she wasn't ready to speak, perhaps I should try again to make her see why she needed to make better choices about her safety.
"You are always so concerned about making other people around you happy that you neglect your own needs and seem to be unaware of just how precarious your hold on life is. You are so sweet and innocent; I do not want you to become hardened but you are very fragile and I am so afraid of losing you," I said softly, remembering those months of exile when I knew I had lost her. I could not go through that again.
Her heart rate increased and I could see she was making a valiant effort to keep from crying. Tears glistened on the surface of her lovely brown eyes as she turned toward me and finally spoke. I held my breath waiting to hear the verdict on our future.
"You're right," she said, barely able to get the words out of her mouth. "I was so busy trying to get a surprise for you I completely forgot about everything else. I was so proud of myself for fooling you," she admitted, tears so close to falling from her sparkling eyes.
That was more than enough for me. I leaned across the console and scooped her into my arms, holding her against my chest, kissing the top of her head and rubbing my hand across her back. "Please don't cry, Bella. I don't want to hurt your feelings I just want you to understand how important you are and how you must be more careful," I begged her.
The pounding of her heart, beating strongly against my chest, combined with inhaling the scent wafting from her hair immediately calmed my fears. I could tell she was glad to be so close as she relaxed against me, placing her hot little hands around my neck, sending a thrill vibrating through me to my cold, still heart.
She struggled to compose herself and presently began to speak in her soft, melodic voice.
"I will try to be more aware, Edward. I didn't realize… can you forgive me?"
Finally, a breakthrough of sorts; if she would just try to be a bit more aware that would be a step in the right direction.
"Of course, my love. I'm just upset because I try to be there for you every moment and the minute I leave you alone, something like this happens," I tried to reassure her as I began to place kisses on her temple, relishing the feel and taste of her delicious skin under my lips.
She was trembling in my arms, still upset, tears threatening to rain down her lovely pink cheeks. I watched intently as her lovely white teeth peeked out of her voluptuous mouth as she bit down on her full bottom lip, evidently in an attempt to keep herself from crying. What torment. How I longed to take complete possession of those lips, taste them, and yes, bite them. That day was looming but sometimes, against all reason, I felt it couldn't get here soon enough. This was definitely one of those times. I couldn't resist letting her know exactly how I was feeling.
"Bella, stop biting your lip; that is going to be my job in the very near future," I said truthfully, as I kissed my way across her cheek.
She seemed pleased with this announcement as she closed her eyes and brought her face closer to mine. I regarded her long, thick eyelashes resting on her flushed cheeks with admiration; she was as unaware of her true beauty as she was of the peril awaiting her, seemingly around every corner.
She wanted me to kiss her. This never failed to delight me; the mere fact that she welcomed my cold lips on hers. The heat radiating from her lips was astonishing as we came together, sending a spark that ignited my heart and set my whole body aflame. Her fingers moved up from my neck, winding my unruly hair firmly in her grasp, tugging me even closer to her. Everything she did felt as if she were perfectly designed to drive me wild. I was determined to remain in control though, and tried firmly but gently to slow our kisses into something pleasurable but not over stimulating.
In another of her never ending surprises she parted her lips and her soft, warm tongue moved against my mouth, tracing the shape of first my upper lip and then my lower. A chain reaction of all sorts of pleasurable sensations was unleashed inside my body. I couldn't remain in control much longer if she was going to do that. I knew what would come next and this was neither the time nor the place.
I had to stop this now, while I still could. I let a small growl escape my lips as I pulled away and watched her eyes fly open in surprise.
"Keeping you barefoot in a cabin in the woods is looking more and more appealing," I mused aloud, wishing we were in that cabin at this very moment, and that our feet were not the only parts of our bodies that were free of clothing.
She smiled broadly. "I won't object to that all at, Edward. I think it sounds like a great idea, and it has a lot of side benefits, too. Alice couldn't take me shopping or do makeovers on me."
Again I was surprised by where her mind went; she thought she had found a new way to escape my sister's compulsion with improving Bella's fashion sense. I personally couldn't wait for the moment when clothing would become unnecessary and in fact, completely useless. That would be a very happy day, indeed.
"I don't know if anything can prevent that," I chuckled, leaning in to kiss her one more time. I tried to make this kiss slow, long, and sweet, a fitting conclusion to our new understanding of her value and importance. I adored her and I wanted her to know that above all else. I would do anything to keep her safe, and I only wanted to opportunity to show her how much she meant to me. That didn't seem like too much to ask, but fate never seemed to be on our side.
AN: Time to hit that Submit Review button and let me know what you thought about Edward's version of the event.
If you want to see the watch Bella buys for Edward, click on the link on my Profile page. It really is a cool watch and is sold in museum gift shops. I added a photo of the ring with hands clasped over a heart in the Photo Album, link also on my Profile page. I have also set up an area on the Twilighted d o t net website where readers can discuss Blue Moon or anything about Twilight. Link is also on my Profile page.
My beta, Ranma15177, has won the runner up prize for her story, Escaping Sol, for Best Action/Adventure fiction, the Race Through Volterra Award. If you aren't already reading it I suggest you start now. She is also just adding a new chapter to her story of Carlisle and Esme's early years together, Making A Home. There is a link in my Favorite Stories list that will take you there instantly.
I'd like to express gratitude to my other beta, not done baking, a wonderful writer herself, for the valuable contributions she has made to this story.