No Time for Epilogues
Chapter 33

June 21

"Mum, this is Harry we're talking about. There's nothing going on that's sordid, unseemly, vulgar, tawdry or any of the other dozen words I've heard you say!" She rubbed her face in exasperation. Did she get a hold of Hermione's Thesaurus?

"Ginny dear, it's just that you spend so much time there, alone, with him," Molly said.

"While it's true that I do spend a lot of time there, it is Grimmauld Place and it needs sprucing up because we're going to live there," Ginny said. "As for the alone part, don't you trust Harry?"

"Of course I do," Molly said.

"Is it me?" Ginny asked.

Molly pinched the bridge of her nose. What can I say? I don't want another fight. What did Arthur say to Ron? She went to the chest of drawers in the parlor and rummaged through a drawer. She took out a scroll, looked at it and brought it back to Ginny.

"Read this," she told her.

Ginny sighed, unrolled the scroll and read it. "Mum, what gives? This is Bill's birth certificate."

"What does it say?"

"William Arthur Weasley, born November 29, 1970 at St. Mungo's, red hair, blue eyes-" Ginny recited but was interrupted.

"I assume you know your father's and my anniversary date ?" Molly asked.

"Yeah, June 5," Ginny said.

"What year?" Molly pressed.

"1970."

"Now, look again at the certificate and do the math," Molly said.

Oh. Her parent's wedding date was six months before Bill's birthday.

"It's not that I don't trust you both, but you can get caught up in the moment, believe me, I know whereof I speak," Molly gently offered. "We eloped because we thought it unseemly to have a wedding with me already pregnant."

"Mum, we do use contraceptives," Ginny said, blushing. This was a conversation she never dreamed having with her mother. "It's not like we're at it all the time," she said and rubbed her face again. "I, we-" she said and sat down.

This conversation had been so easy with Hermione, but why was it so hard with her mum? At that moment, Arthur came home. Molly gave her a "we'll continue this later" look. A sharp crack of apparition was heard and the voice of Hermione was heard, "knock-knock!" and her smiling face appeared at the door. She gestured to a young woman behind her and came in.

"Everyone, I'm pleased to introduce my cousin, Laura Smythe. Laura, the Weasleys, or rather, three of them," Hermione said.

They shook hands with the oft talked about cousin Laura. "I love your home, it's quite...unique," she said. "Is all the surrounding land yours?"

While Arthur and Molly were telling her all about the home and land, Hermione noticed that Ginny looked stressed. The face rubbing confirmed it.

"Okay?" she asked quietly.

Ginny shrugged. "I need to get out of here."

"Um, Molly, I hate to interrupt, but we have an appointment," Hermione said. It was a small fib, but for Ginny it was worth it. While it was true that they were going to London to have Hermione's wedding gown fitted, there was no appointment for it.

Hermione, in the throes of last-minute bridal jitters, opted to have a final fitting of the gown done right before the big day in case she gained weight before the wedding. Hermione, gain weight? Yeah, and Weasleys don't have red hair! Ginny could remember thinking as she patted Hermione's hand.

Elizabeth rang Hermione to let her know she would be joining them after a quick meeting with their solicitor. Ginny listened to Hermione and Laura chat about the "flaming randy idiots" at Laura's university and Hermione's latest wedding worry: whether or not the bakery would get the correct frosting on the cake, it just had to be whipped pure milk chocolate, no other would do.

Ginny looked out the window at the various shops they passed and the new handbag in her lap. London proper was vastly different from Diagon Alley, almost frighteningly so. Harry, who loved London, and was sure she would come to love it too, was slowly introducing her to clubs, restaurants and cinemas in and around London. She felt faint the first time she saw Tesco, "so much food in one place!"

"What's Hermione's favorite store?" Ginny asked.

"Hands down, Harrods. She and her mother could spend all day there," Harry had told her, so took her there. "Everything in the world, in one place! I never knew there were so many kinds of handbags to choose from!"

"Pick one then," he said and waited twenty minutes for her to choose and stifled a choke when she happily held one up with "ta-da!" It cost £800, but she wasn't aware of the cost, having dealt with only galleons or even that a handbag would cost so much. He would deny her nothing of course, so out came out a credit card. Only when she paid Hermione a visit the next day did she find out how much it cost when Hermione and Elizabeth raved over it.

"Thanks, Harry took me to Harrods and I picked it out all by myself!"

Hermione grinned at her Arthur-like fascination, much like the petrol station adventure months before, then decided to have a little fun with her.

"Harry won't buy a new pair of jeans, but he'll buy a £800 handbag, go figure," she said casually and resumed filing her nails.

"Huh?" Ginny asked, looking at the handbag again.

"Yeah, that's about 160 galleons," Hermione said.

Ginny choked on her tea. That was almost half of Arthur's monthly salary.

In the dress shop, Ginny and Laura chatted while Elizabeth helped Hermione into her gown. Laura came out of the dressing booth and declared, "she's a vision!" with teary eyes.

Hermione stepped out. "How do I look?" she asked and turned this way and that, scrutinizing herself in the mirrors.

"Hermione, you look absolutely stunning!" Laura exclaimed and rose from her chair. "How do I look, as if!"

"It's so beautiful," Ginny whispered.

Elizabeth and the seamstress were discussing waistlines and hems while Ginny and Laura admired the gown. It was so Hermione, simply but classically beautiful. The satin, ivory, sleeveless gown had a haltered top with a curved v-shaped neckline. The overall a-line design was tight at the top then flowed out from the hips, gracefully draping to a sweeping train.

"The dress will be finished in three days," the proprietor told the women and spoke to Hermione. "I've seen many brides in my day, but I've never seen a gown look so perfect on someone as this one does on you. I wish you only the best."

"Thank you Madame."

Friday June 27

Hermione couldn't remember the last time she had had so much fun. The hen night organized by Ginny and Laura, now good friends, was in full swing, along with the fourteen guests drinking, eating, laughing and socializing. Her mum, Molly and Minerva were in the corner of the room, laughing uproariously about God knows what.

"Here, you have to open mine next," the newly wedded Susan Macmillan said and gave her a gift. A song came on the stereo and Laura dashed across the room to turn it up and sing along, bottle of ale in one hand, the other flourishing dramatically as she sang. Everyone laughed and cheered her along.

"and bad mistakes, I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
but I've come thruuuuu-"

Hermione rose from the chair, also with a bottle of ale, linked her free arm with her cousin and joined her in the chorus.

"Weee are the champions, my friends
and we'll keep on fighting, till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
we are the champions of the worrrrld!"

Elizabeth joined the duo and belted out the last chorus with them.

In Diagon Alley, Ron's bachelor party was in full swing. Ron didn't drink anymore, but he had no problem with anyone else throwing back a drink or two. For the occasion, Harry had rented out for the night The West End, a new upscale pub between the Apothecary and The Leaky Cauldron.

"What do you suppose the girls are doing?" Harry wondered.

Ian chuckled. "Picture twenty drunk women in the parlor."

"You know how Hermione is when she's drinking," Ron said.

"Yeah, I'll never forget her words of wisdom, like never wear a hat in bed, it's bad luck," Harry said.

A waiter brought a fresh tray of chicken wings, chips and Butterbeer. In lieu of gifts, Ron received money to "treat his new wife while on honeymoon."

"Nervous about jumpin' the broom?" Seamus asked.

"My daughter's a handful, but I guess you already know that," Ian said. "And just what does jumping the broom mean?"

Hermione was laid back in he easy chair, one leg dangling over the side. One sandal off, the other hanging off the big toe of the dangling foot as she recounted the story of Ron's and her first real kiss that day at the Battle of Hogwarts. Everyone listened in drunk but rapt attention. They all sighed in dramatic appreciation at the end of the story.

"I've even cataloged his kisses, did you know? They're that good," she said.

"This I have to hear," Elizabeth said quietly to Molly.

Hermione took a breath and explained, counting it out on her fingers.

"Well, there's his good morning kiss, I'm glad to see you kiss, the I'll see you later kiss, the congratulatory kiss, the I want to shag you kiss, and the thanks for the great shag now I want to sleep kiss," she finished with a giggle, which was echoed by the girls.

"So Weasley's pretty good in the sack?" Kathy Rooney asked with a hiccup.

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed, gearing up to say something.

"Oh dear," Elizabeth said. Molly chuckled.

"Here we go," Ginny whispered to Luna. Hermione really had a way with words, and drunk, there was no telling what would come out of her mouth.

Hermione opened her eyes, flipped her hair behind her shoulders and quirked an eyebrow as she looked at Kathy. Elizabeth lightly snorted at her daughter's antics. Cheeky girl!

"Miss Rooney, pretty good doesn't even come close," Hermione said, flicking an imaginary bit of lint from her shoulder. "If I had a galleon for every orgasm, I'd be a wealthy woman by now, and you can take that to the bank."

Molly choked on her drink at the comment.

"You know what else I love about sex? It's free and doesn't require special shoes!"

The girls laughed hysterically as Hermione continued.

"If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right!"

Now Molly and Elizabeth were leaning on each other, laughing at Hermione's commentary.

"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie; that's by Shakespeare."

"It's like jello, there's always room for more!"

Ron was rolling his eyes listening to the married blokes giving their advice, not sure if the offerings were good or not.

"Compliment their shoes, they love that," Ernie said.

"Huh? Mate, that's dumb. Besides, you've only been married what, five minutes?" Ron scoffed.

"Hey, just telling you what I've learned," Ernie said. "They spend a lot of time picking out just the right shoes to go with just the right outfit and like to hear that they look good."

"Arthur? Mr. Granger?" Harry asked the two chatting at the end of the table. "You two have been married the longest, what's the best advice you can give besides nice shoes?"

Ian: "Never go to bed angry."

Arthur: "Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it."

Ian: "Never assume."

Arthur: "Agree to disagree."

Ian: "Always make time for each other."

Arthur: "Surprise each other now and then."

Ian: "Respect each other's privacy."

Arthur: "But never keep secrets from each other."

Ian: "Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself."

Arthur: "Never compare your marriage to others."

Ian: "With women, it's the little things that matter most."

"Whoa, wait! Just how much advice do you have?" Ron asked.

"How long have you got?" Ian asked.

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Hermione slowly sat up and looked at her mum and Molly pensively. "Mum, Molly, you've been married a while, what's the best advice you can give?" Hermione asked with a hiccup.

"Hmm...let's see...always respect each other," Molly said.

Elizabeth: "Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself."

Molly: "Never compare your own marriage to other's."

Elizabeth, with a raised eyebrow: "Don't make love in the same place and position every time. Variety is the spice of life, you know."

Umm, too much information, mum!

Molly: "Communication is everything."

Elizabeth: "Keep the in-laws out of the marriage."

Molly: "Never air your dirty laundry in public."

Elizabeth: "Never pass up an opportunity to say I love you."

Molly: "Love is like childhood, you need to learn to share."

Elizabeth: "Never assume."

Molly: "Don't keep secrets from each other."

Elizabeth: "Always make time for the two of you."

"Hold it, wait! Just how much advice do you have?" Hermione asked.

"How much time have you got?" Elizabeth said.

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Just after 2 a.m. Ian arrived home to find Elizabeth propped up asleep on the sofa, Hermione lay beside her, snoring softly, her head on Elizabeth's leg. His niece Laura was asleep on the chaise lounge, Ginny asleep on the easy chair. He carefully patted Elizabeth's shoulder. She pursed her lips, mumbled something shifted her head.

"See you in the morning, love," he whispered, kissed her cheek and left the parlor.

:)