"I'm so sorry Edward; I don't know what else I can say except that… I'm sorry. I know I said yes to you but I…"

I couldn't say anymore. My throat began to tighten and my eyes began to water. Why was I crying? This is what I wanted right? This whole situation was just a huge mess and I hated life for making me choose between two amazing people that I loved so much. I knew there was no way I could keep both of them in my life without hurting them.

"Bella, I can't force you to be with me, but why? One minute you declare that you need me more than anything, that you would marry me to be with me forever and then…and then you change your mind entirely after once kiss-how does that happen?"

The guilt was so immensely overwhelming I thought I was going to be crushed by it. But if I ever deserved anything in my life it was this. I had been selfish and kept Jacob around knowing he wanted more, I had fought with Edward over continuing to see Jake-reassuring him that he was the only one for me. Now I was saying no to Edward's proposal after already accepting; I felt so sick that I could possibly throw up. His eyes held mine, pleading for an explanation, and once again I was never more grateful that he couldn't read my mind.

"Please tell me what you're thinking Bella."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I think I've already done enough damage."

"DAMMIT BELLA!"

I had been staring at the ground again and when he shouted this, my head snapped up in shock because he had never yelled at me like this before. Sure, I'd seen him get angry before, like the night we ran into James, but never like this. I was never more aware of the fact that he was a vampire-who could quite literally crush me into dust-than I was now.

" I've made a huge mess of everything and you'll probably hate me forever for going back on our engagement, but I just feel in my gut that Jacob is the right decision for me. It's just really bad timing how I've only realized this after I've agreed to marry you."

"Yes you did agree to marry me, and that's why my family is out there right now risking their lives! Their fighting for you! Because I love you!"

This brought me up short and it felt like a huge slap in the face. He was right, his family was out there because of me, because they believed that the love Edward and I had for each other was worth saving. I had dragged all of them into this only to break Edward's heart. I couldn't take it anymore!

"Then maybe you should go."



"What?" He looked incredulous, like I was crazy or something, not that I could disagree with that.

"You said it yourself, your family is out there because of me, and you should go help them."

"Bella I'm not leaving you here by yourself."

"I won't be; Seth is here."

He started at me with so much shock and confusion on his face, like he couldn't believe I was actually saying any of this. I closed my eyes to hide the tears that were forming, and as if I hadn't already been selfish enough I couldn't look at his face anymore. Every second that he stayed here it was ripping my heart even further. I needed him to leave.

"Just go Edward, please."

"Bella…I-"

"JUST GO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs hoping that he would understand, and obviously he did. It was only a brief second that I took to look away and wipe my face of tears, and when I looked back…he was gone.