AN: Thanks for all your fantastic reviews for the last chapter, and now without further delay…

While I didn't want Edward to find out about this dream, I did want him to hold me and make me feel better. Then I remembered we were in our exquisite cabin, and I reached my arm out to touch Edward but my hand felt nothing but empty bed. I opened my eyes and as they adjusted to the dim moonlight pouring through high windows. I saw that I was alone, I couldn't feel his presence, and felt the desperate ache of loss begin.

Chapter 35: Maybe this time

My heart, racing already, spluttered frantically and I sat up, looking around. Where was he? Maybe he had gone into the living room, to put another log on the fire. I glanced in that direction and noticed the fire blazing, putting out warmth that reached me even in bed. Well, that was reassuring; it looked as if he had just stoked the fire.

I got out of bed and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It read 4:05. I was still barely awake and I stumbled toward the fireplace. I searched the living room, but he wasn't there. I hated to break the stillness in the cabin by calling out for him. I walked back toward the bed and looked at the clock again. That's when I saw a piece of folded paper with my name on it; I snatched it up and read in Edward's elegant handwriting:

My dearest Bella,

You are the most beautiful girl in the world and it's worth dying just to have kissed you. If you should awaken while I am gone, please know I will be back as soon as possible.

I remain, forever, your Edward

While I was relieved to know he was planning on being back soon, I was still wondering where he had to go at this early hour. While it was nice to know he thought I was beautiful, the 'worth dying' part had me concerned.

Did he mean he was doing something right now that could be life threatening, or did he mean it was worth dying in 1918 to be here for me now? That was certainly an interesting concept. If he hadn't died back then, we never would have met. How different would my life be? I shivered. I couldn't stand to face the future without him. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked around the cabin again.

Then I thought I heard a faint sound coming from the bathroom. Was he in there? I pressed my ear against the closed bathroom door and realized the sound wasn't coming from in there, but from beyond; the outdoor shower. What was Edward doing, taking a shower at 4 a.m.? Was this what he did while I was asleep? I wondered vaguely if I could join him. The idea of Edward, naked and wet, under the stars was enough to set my heart racing.

Slowly opening the bathroom door, I looked across the room at the frosted glass doors but saw only the dimmest outline of Edward in the moonlight, under the running shower. I took a step forward but my foot came in contact with something on the floor, and I stopped, not wanting to trip.

I looked down as the moonlight spilled through the French doors, illuminating a pair of black sweat pants and a black tee shirt. My first thought was that I'd never seen Edward throw clothes on the floor before; his room was usually so neat.

Then I spotted a large rip in the left leg of the pants, starting at the thigh and going below the knee. The fabric was torn, frayed, and covered in mud. I leaned down and picked up the tee shirt. An odd smell caught my attention, and I noticed the tee shirt was missing a sleeve, also torn off. It was stained darkly, and slightly sticky, with what I slowly realized must be blood.

Dropping it like it was on fire, I stood rooted to the bathroom floor. My head began to spin and my imagination to run wild. Clearly Edward had left the cabin, had some sort of altercation, and came back to clean up while I was still asleep, but what had happened?

Had one of those vampires from Bolinas got a whiff of my scent and tried to track me down? Was I that damned irresistible? If only he would change me I would be so much safer. Why couldn't he see that?

Maybe one of the Volturi guard followed us here? The thought of Demetri and Felix haunted me. That didn't seem likely; although I was always afraid time was running out with them. Alice would surely have warned us if they were looking for me.

There wouldn't be sticky, almost dried blood on the shirt if it had been another vampire. It couldn't have been a human; that just wasn't possible. Edward wouldn't do that. I rejected that thought completely. Besides, this didn't smell like human blood to me, but I hadn't smelled many other kinds of blood so I had nothing to compare it with.

What if the temptation of being with me every minute of the day and night had made him so thirsty he . . . no, I just couldn't think that. Although he had said that being with me was harder than he thought it would be. Of course he said he was referring to my body, not my blood; I was being so foolish, but it was the middle of the night, who thinks clearly then?

Maybe being with me had pushed his thirst to the point where he needed to go hunting? That had to be it. Maybe he had just needed to hunt so badly, and he thought he could do it while I was asleep, and I would never even have to find out about it. That sounded more like Edward, taking out some extra insurance to make sure I would be safe. My heart went back to beating a normal rhythm as I calmed myself down, my mind having hit on a plausible explanation now that I was finally, fully awake.

Edward's POV

A cold shower would do nothing for my problem, I thought as I headed for the outdoor shower anyway. Neither would filling that giant bathtub with ice cubes and submerging myself in it. Mind over matter. It didn't help that every time I thought of that bathtub I could envision Bella, tiny and fragrant, surrounded by all that hot water that helped release her lovely scent into the atmosphere of that small, candlelit room. Oh, I wanted her right now.

That bathtub was haunting me. I wanted to be in that bathtub with her, sliding my hands over her soft, slippery skin, caressing the curves of her delicate, feminine body while I inhaled her sweet fragrance. I wanted to hear her giggle and sigh and call out my name while I was touching her in all the places I had only imagined on those long nights when she slept in my arms. My body ached for her. I wanted to immerse myself in her and never leave.

Bella was the only reason I looked forward to another day. How had I existed before I met her? I couldn't go back to that emptiness. For all my darkness, she was the light. She was my other half, my life. She was my heart, my salvation, my soul. She was my soulmate. The purity of her love had made me understand that I did have a soul, no matter how blackened, and perhaps, with her love, I could be redeemed.

I still couldn't believe Bella had chosen me; I had so little to offer her, and she would have to give up so much to be with me. My angel had done everything possible to convince me that she did not want to have children but I would give anything to be able to have a child with her. Bella would be a wonderful mother, despite her protestations. She had already played the parental role with Renee, and took admirable care of her father. She was always so giving. She never asked for anything for herself, and I knew I wanted to spend eternity spoiling her, to try to make up for all the sacrifices she had to make to be with me.

Tonight had been a different kind of struggle for me. If only I could stop twitching every time she put her hot little hands on me. So far it seemed like she hadn't noticed, but I didn't know how much longer I could go on like this. I wanted her so badly I could taste her. I was ice cold but she could make me melt with just a touch.

When she pressed her warm palms against my back I wanted every inch of my skin to be pressed against hers. As it was I should have had more self-control than to order her to take my shirt off. I told her to do it to keep myself from ripping every shred of her clothing off right then. I suspected she would have been thrilled if I had; she had no sense of self-preservation.

She had already pressed her breasts against me when I carried her back inside after her escape from the mouse, silly girl; she had much more to fear from me than from a faux mouse. I thought I would tackle her to the sofa when she started rolling the waistband of her pajama pants down. That little display before the splinter removal… it was almost like she was starting to do a strip tease. I was sure it had escaped her notice that the last song on the CD playing at that moment was Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, but I found it frighteningly appropriate.

I had to quickly swallow the venom that was pooling in my mouth; thankfully she didn't notice. She never seemed to notice. It was odd how she could be so perceptive about some things and so oblivious about others. It's probably just as well; I didn't want her to be frightened of me unnecessarily.

I turned off the cold tap and let the scalding hot water from the shower pour over me to warm up my skin a bit before I got back in bed. I didn't want the chill that radiated from me to awaken her when I returned to her side, and I knew I would be unable to resist touching her. She was breaking down so many of my carefully constructed barriers this weekend and I was crumbling before her beauty and spirit.

I appreciated how she was letting me spoil her this weekend. She was being so good about accepting my plans, and agreeing to a new car. That had taken some dazzling, but with spectacular results, and she hadn't even tasted champagne yet, so the influence of alcohol hadn't clouded her judgment, it was just me. I knew I had been able to dazzle her in the beginning, but the longer she was around me, she seemed to be able to resist when she was determined to get her way.

Not tonight though; she had fallen victim to my charms once again, and I was happy with my abilities to hold her in sway. It was a tiny victory, but where Bella was concerned, I was delighted to know I still had the power to dazzle her. I could afford a smirk as I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair; the night owls would keep my secret.

Unfortunately, the champagne may have been responsible for her rushing out of the cabin and straight into that railing. Only Bella could find a way to hurt herself when fleeing from a dead rodent. That splinter had been jagged and deeply embedded in the soft flesh of her abdomen. I was pleased that my hands had been steady enough to perform what amounted to minor surgery without further mishap. She had felt a momentary flash of pain, but the significant thing was that I was able to pierce her skin without making her bleed.

I don't think she was aware of how careful I needed to be; to her it was just a splinter but to me it was the possibility of spilling some of her precious blood. Bella might be able to forget that I was a vampire but that was something I could never allow myself to forget.

I had to admit that she had been so adorable when she stamped her foot and forbade me to call Margaret. Little did she know, Margaret would have been delighted to perform some minor surgery, and merely add the incident to her catalog of strange behavior by her guests. She approached the role of innkeeper with a large dose of cynicism and would have been highly amused by Bella's innocent antics and embarrassment.

Margaret's mind was a pleasure to explore. A highly complex thinker, a doctor specializing in brain trauma, educated in England, she had a lot in common with Carlisle, and it was no wonder he spoke so highly of her. She also had a tremendously quirky sense of humor and a love for life she expressed by trying to help people experience the sensual pleasures of new foods. She had gone above and beyond in preparing these treats for Bella and had earned my unending gratitude. Adding to that, the fact that she did it all with ease and joy made it even more remarkable.

Chef Daniel was another matter. He was a visual artist; as well as being a wizard in the kitchen, he was a photographer and frequently had exhibitions in galleries in the Bay area. He saw the world with an artist's eye, and I couldn't blame him for recognizing that Bella was beautiful. He attacked life with the vigor and passion of a temperamental artist, sometimes dreamy and thoughtful, and sometimes harsh and wanton. His pairing with Margaret made for a tempestuous and dramatic relationship. He had also gone out of his way to make special foods for Bella, and taken pleasure in doing so. He and Margaret were perfectly suited for the life they had carved out for themselves in this tiny hamlet.

They knew how to make their guests comfortable, too. This outdoor shower was very enjoyable. I should speak with Esme about installing one when we got back to Forks. Of course it would be much more enjoyable if Bella were out here with me, but she needed her rest and this would just give me another thing to look forward to in the future.

Coming here had been a wise choice. Bella was enjoying herself and I had seldom felt so at ease. I had put myself into a trance on the sofa, holding her on my lap and stroking her long, silky hair. It was such a magnificent, rich color, the mahogany highlights shimmering in the flickering firelight. The light had danced across her flushed cheeks as she calmed down after the excitement of my bedside manner. Sliding my fingertips around below her waist was a sensual treat for me and I could tell she enjoyed it, too. I would have liked to play doctor with her all night long, but this wasn't the night for that. It was something else I could look forward to in the somewhat near future, though. I longed to examine every inch of her creamy skin, though not in a clinical manner… decidedly not that way.

With her situated in my lap on the sofa, so close and so warm, I could breathe in her lovely fragrance, hear her erratic heartbeat, and only my own thoughts, mercifully. This little cabin was ideal for our weekend; as I let myself get lost in her charms my mind wandered to the near future, when we would be married and snug in our own little cottage. She was unaware of my plans, but I knew she would be pleased. This was one surprise I was sure she wouldn't raise any objections to; she would enjoy our time alone, this trip convinced me of that.

We would be married and she would still be human; I intended to try to convince her to remain that way for as long as possible, unless she was adamant about being changed. I hoped after we were man and wife in every sense she might rethink her rush to embrace my way of existing; at least I could hope, something I hardly ever did before meeting Bella.

While I had only wanted her to know how special she was, she refused to accept my compliment about her lustrous, silken hair. I couldn't resist teasing her, but I had miscalculated her reaction to Tanya's name. It was like tossing gasoline on a campfire. I supposed I should be ashamed of myself, but I found it delightful to see her so worked up over Tanya; absurd, but amusing. Her mind was always an enchanting surprise to me.

Her body had been electric, pulsating with energy and she made me burn with longing for her, too. If Tanya had suddenly appeared I had no doubt Bella would have gone after her with the fireplace poker. She was full of passion, for me. Her blood was pumping wildly. I could feel it coursing through her petite body, calling to me, but I didn't want to sink my teeth into her tender flesh. There was another part of my anatomy that desperately wanted to claim her. How many days 'til the wedding? What am I doing here alone with her? Who thought this trip was a good idea?

I thought about how jealousy was such a human emotion, and it was something we shared. She couldn't be unaware that I had been jealous of her relationship with Jacob. I hadn't hid it very well. Where she was involved my emotions were so hard to control. After listening to his disgusting thoughts about how much he enjoyed kissing her and what else he planned on doing with her it was a wonder he was still able to walk.

I knew Bella would frown on my taking any action against him, and at this point, while he was still recuperating, he wasn't even worth thinking about. Well, he wasn't really ever worth thinking about, but judging by the way Bella's heart had started beating like a hummingbird when I mentioned his name I couldn't just dismiss him, no matter how much I wished I could. She had such an immediate reaction I knew she was hiding something and it was something she didn't want to discuss with me. What else was left to say?

After our talk this morning I thought we had covered everything. I had made my thoughts about his motivations unmistakable and she seemed to understand. I wondered if he had done something else, something he had managed to conceal from me… I had read Seth's thoughts as well, and between the two of them I thought I had a clear picture of everything that had transpired between that dog and Bella. Still, she was overly sensitive where he was concerned, and that had to mean something.

I had a feeling I would always have to protect her from him. He just seemed unable to let go of her, no matter how plainly she made her choice clear to him. We would be wed soon, and he would have to accept it eventually. Perhaps I was taking too much for granted.

Yes, Bella said she wanted to be with me forever, but I was hesitant to accept her commitment if she couldn't be completely honest with me. She had to be sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, before we could proceed. I had to get to the bottom of this, it would drive me insane if I thought she was still in love with him and was only choosing me because of a perceived threat from those thugs in Italy. I needed to have this out with her before we returned to Forks.

As I turned the shower off and picked up a massive bath towel I heard Bella's heart skip a beat and then begin hammering wildly. I looked through the frosted glass French doors and saw her standing as if frozen, in the bathroom. What was she doing out of bed at this hour? She had been in a deep sleep when I returned. Had she simply awakened and noticed I was not there or did she have another bad dream? I hoped it was the former but feared it was the latter.

She seemed upset; she must have discovered my clothes on the bathroom floor. Damn it, why didn't I dispose of them before I took a shower? Because I had stood next to the bed watching Bella sleep and got completely distracted, that's why. She could cloud my mind and affect my body like no one else. I must see if I can fix this now; perhaps I could turn the tables and distract her. I would do whatever was necessary to calm her nerves and get her back to sleep.

Bella's POV

I was still frozen in place when the French doors opened and Edward walked in. He had one of those extra large bath towels draped casually over one shoulder, toga style, and he stopped as soon as he saw me, almost entirely in the shadows except for one thin shaft of moonlight. He had not expected me to be up and about.

"Bella," he said softly. "Are you awake?"

"Yes, I'm awake," I replied shakily, thinking that it would be so much better if this was only a dream.

"I thought you might have added sleepwalking to your repertoire to keep me entertained," he said lightly as he loosely grasped the edges of the towel with one hand near his hip, making sure he was covered up. Why did he always have to be so modest? It was difficult to tear my eyes away from his hip area, but I had questions I wanted answered, so I forced myself.

"Edward, what's this about?" I asked, pointing to the clothes on the floor and giving a slight shiver.

"Bella, you need to go back to bed, you are getting cold," he immediately said with authority, gently touching my shoulder and starting to walk us into the bedroom.

"I'll get in bed, but I want an explanation. I saw the rips and tears in your clothes. What happened?" I asked as I crawled back in bed, omitting the part about the blood.

"I promise to tell you, but please give me a minute," he said, pulling the bed linens over me and making sure I was totally covered up. He turned away to go back into the bathroom and as he did, I caught a glimpse of the part of him from the side that wasn't covered by the toga towel.

Even in the dim light I could see that he was like a perfectly formed Greek statue. I softly clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle the gasp that involuntarily escaped my lips as he continued moving toward the bathroom; he was impressive.

I felt the blood start creeping up my neck and was sure my face was burning scarlet. I was so warm I had to throw the covers back and sit up. Edward came out of the bathroom dressed in only his blue silk pajama bottoms and carrying the damaged clothes. He tossed them on the roaring fire and they began to incinerate. I couldn't take my eyes off of him; he must have pulled those pants on very quickly because they didn't have elastic, just a drawstring, and he had tied it so loosely the pants were riding low on his hips and looked like they might slip down dangerously at any moment. I lived in hope and wished I knew a spell for loosening knots; I had read those Harry Potter books one too many times.

"I should have done that immediately, when I got back, but I thought you were sleeping soundly and I could clean up first," Edward said, as he returned to the bedroom with the thermos of hot chocolate. He poured a cup and carefully handed it to me.

"Drink this," he commanded. Then he examined my face and smiled, saying, "You seem to have warmed up a bit."

My hands were trembling and it was all I could do to hold the cup steady. I took a small sip and nodded, blushing even more. He continued to stand stiffly next to the bed, gazing at me in the waning moonlight as I took in his firm biceps. As beautiful as he was, he was also intensely masculine; he was radiating virility. I took another sip of hot chocolate and felt my heart skip a beat.

My eyes were drawn to his well-toned, rock hard, abdominal muscles. I longed to touch them, to kiss them, to feel my bare skin pressed against his. I noticed he had a fine line of bronze hair that began just below his navel and disappeared under the low slung waistband of his pajamas.

This being alone with Edward and not being able to have a real, physical relationship was killing me. Could these feelings compare with the way he had to fight against drinking my blood? Why was I unable to fall in love with someone of my own species?

I took a big gulp and then set the hot chocolate on the nightstand and said what was on my mind, hoping I didn't sound as pathetic as I felt. "Aren't you coming back to bed?"

A look of relief and gratitude seemed to pass across his face. This confused me. Had he thought I didn't want him to get back in bed? What was going on? What had he been doing while I was asleep? That's right; he had never explained. Stupid, distracting vampire fiance.

Edward got into bed on top of the covers, and smoothed them around me. I moved towards him to rest my head on his chest and he put his arms around me, pulling me close to him. He kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair.

We lay like that for a few moments and then I asked gently, "What happened tonight?"

"I was hoping you would be asleep when I got back and not have to hear about this," he started.

"Just tell me. Whatever it is, it's okay, I still love you," I tried to reassure him, kissing his neck.

"Bella, you never cease to amaze me. I've told you I wasn't worthy of you. I've done so many unforgivable things in the past." Edward paused briefly. "I meant what I said: I'm not good for you, but I love you and I always will."

I was torn between being thrilled to hear that he would always love me and annoyed that he still thought he wasn't worthy of me. What rubbish. While I was debating what to say he spoke again.

"How can you tell me it's okay, not having the slightest idea of what I've been doing?" he asked incredulously.

"Because I love you and I know whatever you did, you probably did it to protect me. Didn't you?" I pulled away to look into his golden eyes as I said this.

"Yes," he admitted, gazing deep into my eyes.

It was getting lighter in the room every minute, and as I looked into his warm butterscotch eyes, I noticed they were lighter, too. Lighter than I had ever seen them, with the faintest flecks of green, but maybe that was my imagination.

"Edward, what happened?" I was dying of curiosity now.

"Well, I waited until I was sure you were asleep, and finished sleeptalking…"

"What did I say tonight?" I was always afraid I would say something terrible when I was asleep, and if I did, he probably wouldn't tell me anyway.

"You said you loved me. When you are asleep, and you, my angel, call out my name in the darkness, and say that you want me; you have no idea what that does to me."

When he said things like that it made me want to cry. "Well, it's no surprise, Edward. Even my subconscious knows I love you."

Then I saw a flicker in his eyes and his expression lightened; he looked like he had just stumbled across a clue he hadn't expected to find.

"What is it, Edward? You can't be surprised that I love you."

"You even say it in your sleep." He sounded like he was in awe.

"Yes, you're on my mind whether I'm awake or asleep."

"You make my poor dead heart feel more alive than it ever has," he said huskily.

I didn't know what to say now. I couldn't let myself dream about Edward's heart beating. I couldn't imagine him being alive because it would be too painful when I realized that would never happen, but I was making him feel more alive than ever. I guess I would just be grateful for that, and he had managed to distract me from whatever he had been up to while I slept.

"I could use a kiss right about now." As long as we were off track I thought we might as well make the excursion worthwhile.

He leaned over me and kissed me until I felt the pillow behind my head; he was pressing against me and I felt every plane of his body as we sank into the fluffy down featherbed. I wouldn't mind if he awakened me in the middle of the night to do this every night.

Just when I needed a breath he moved his lips from my mouth and kissed his way across my face to my throat. He placed a dozen butterfly kisses along my neck and then took in a deep breath. "I'm glad you didn't take a shower tonight, Bella, your own natural scent is heavenly." He nuzzled into my neck and continued placing soft kisses there.

It was difficult to think when he did that. But there was something rattling around my brain, something I was trying to find out. What was it? Oh, yes. The clothes.

"Edward, what were you doing while I was asleep?"

He lifted his lips slightly from my neck and mumbled, "It was really nothing, Bella."

"Then tell me about it."

Unfortunately, that made him stop kissing me. What was the matter with me? Would I ever learn to keep my mouth shut when things were going good? This must be a side effect of my inexperience with men. I needed to have a talk with Alice about this; she seemed to have the perfect relationship with Jasper.

Edward leaned back and propped himself up on one elbow. "That bobcat got your scent today, and I suspected he would try to track you. After you went to sleep I got dressed and I didn't have to go very far. He was only about twenty yards south of this cabin. He was waiting for you, but he wasn't prepared for me," he said simply.

"But your clothes are all shredded and," I paused, "bloody."

"He was a full grown male; he put up a good fight, but I'm fine. More than fine," he said with a dazzling smile, trying to put me at ease.

"Aren't bobcats the most vicious of the wild cats? Didn't I just read that a bobcat can take down a full grown elk? They weigh twelve hundred pounds." I was almost shrieking now.

"Where are you getting all your wildlife information?" he asked calmly.

"That book on the coffee table; it's about the Point Reyes National Park."

"Well, yes, that's all correct."

"It wouldn't be much of a guidebook if it was filled with bogus information, now would it? I thought one of the things that attracted you to me was that I'm able to read."

He raised an eyebrow and said, "You are too smart for your own good, Little Miss Nature Expert."

"That book said that even though they're smaller than mountain lions, bobcats are more ferocious. Edward, are you sure you're alright?"

"Of course, Bella. We hunt grizzly bears and elk. A bobcat is not a problem. I think of them as dessert."

I shook my head. I had never been this close to Edward so soon after he had been hunting. It was different; maybe that was why he seemed more confident and masculine than ever. He was exuding sexual charisma and I was soaking it up like a sponge.

"Edward, I thought it was dangerous for me to be around when you were hunting."

"It is. We've discussed this. We give ourselves over to our senses when we hunt; we can maintain some control, but it is dangerous for a human to be around. I took a run down to the beach and waited an hour before I came back to the cabin, just to make sure I was totally calm and in command of my self."

"Is that why your eyes are so light?" I asked.

"I guess so," he said thoughtfully. "It usually takes me much longer to get back to you after I've been hunting," he mused.

I thought quickly. With his thirst so recently satisfied, he should be in control of his emotions and his body better than ever. This could be the chance I had been waiting for, longing for.

"I have never loved you more than I do now, Edward. You constantly prove that you would do anything for me, and I trust you completely," I said breathlessly, as I looked into his sparkling eyes. "I'm already yours, body and soul."

He was smiling with his eyes, and he looked touched by my words. I decided to press my advantage and slowly moved my hand up from his chest to touch his smooth cheek. I leaned toward him, gently placing my warm lips against his cool ones, and felt him respond instantly.

"My heart is bursting with love for you, Edward," I whispered again, as my pulse quickened.

"And mine for you, Bella, my one and only love." I kissed him again, with more passion. He returned my kiss as I ran my hand along his neck and tangled it in his damp bronze hair.

Edward's arms were wrapped around me and he pressed me even closer to him. As our kisses deepened my heart was beating so frantically I knew he could feel it against his hard chest. He suddenly released me and buried his head in my neck as I gasped for breath. He placed his lips on the throbbing vein in my neck, as I felt air rushing into my lungs.

My blood was pulsing violently through my whole body and I was so warm, I had to push back the covers and take another deep breath. He had loosened his hold on me, allowing me to struggle out of the bedding, and I decided to push this as far as I could.

I leaned over him and put my hands on his biceps. I began kissing and licking along his collarbone and then started going lower.

"Bella," he sighed.

I knew he meant this as a warning but it had so little force behind it I decided to just ignore it and continue what I was doing. I scooted lower and moved my hands from his shoulders to his chest, tracing the path I was leaving with my lips.

I was in heaven. His chest was so broad and smooth, and I could feel every muscle ripple as I passed my lips or hands over them. I slowly ran my right hand down his chest, across his flat stomach to that fine line of bronze hair and I felt him twitch beneath my fingertips. His hands were clenching the sheets as I my mouth got closer to his left nipple. I slowly ran my tongue around in a circle and Edward groaned. He tasted so good, I couldn't resist biting down and his hips bucked underneath me.

"Bella! Are you trying to kill me?" He shot up and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me tight against his cold stone chest.

"No," I mumbled against him, sneaking in another open mouthed kiss.

He fell back against the pillows, taking me with him. This was not a bad position for me, so I decided not to protest. I could make this work to my advantage.

I slid my right knee in between his legs and moved my hands back to his strong shoulders, raising myself up.

"Bella, be careful," he said quietly.

"I am being careful. You can handle this," I said encouragingly, as I looked into his eyes, which were glowing and bright. I leaned in to kiss him again. Our mouths came together and he pressed me against him and I felt his hands slip under my pajama top and begin tracing my spine and resting at the small of my back.

I started to tremble and he broke the kiss to murmur in my ear, "Your lips must be the sweetest in the world. Your skin is so soft, so warm," he continued dreamily, his hand rubbing my back with gentle pressure. I felt a deep happiness under his caress.

I thought with a pang of how much he would miss this, my warmth, my blush, when I became one of the cold ones. How I wished he would make love to me right now, right this minute, so it was an experience he could have to remember forever. I didn't care what Carlisle or anyone else said. I knew Edward wouldn't do anything to hurt me. But I didn't think I could convince him with words.

Even with his eyes closed his thick eyelashes couldn't quite hide the lightness of his eyes. I had to seize this opportunity, but I had so little experience, I wasn't sure what to do next. What was that expression? Let nature take its course… yes, but what was natural about a human girl and a teenage vampire?

Or a teenage girl and 100 year-old vampire? I couldn't think about that now. I needed to focus. He was a man and I was a woman. He was Edward and I was Bella, and we would love each other forever. That's all that mattered. "Edward," I began, but he quickly cut me off.

"I know what you want Bella, and I have to admit I want it too. Being near you like this brings the most pleasure and the most pain; your skin is silkier than any rose petal, your natural scent is more fragrant than the rarest flower, your beautiful brown eyes are so expressive, and your lips; your lips drive me wild," he concluded, unable to resist kissing me passionately. When he moved his lips to my neck I was breathless but hopeful.

AN: Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

Let's keep in mind that when I began writing this, last August, I had just finished reading Eclipse. I was trying to develop this story as a continuation of that book as much as I possibly could. I was pleased to read on page 25 of Breaking Dawn that pre-wedding Edward and Bella were on her bed, wrapped up in each other and Edward was shirtless. That's pretty much where I have them end this chapter. It's clear that they had been doing some boundary pushing of their own; we just didn't get all the juicy details.

My Betas are the best. Ranma15177 and not done baking both have great stories going right now, too. Check them out, you'll be glad you did. If you liked Bella's wisecrack about the guidebook, you can thank Ranma; her wicked sense of humor at work again. I'm so lucky she has time to read BMOM for me.

I uploaded some new pictures to the Photo Album; link is on my Profile page.