AN: SPOILER if you haven't read Breaking Dawn yet, skip this AN and just go right to the text. Let's keep in mind that when I began writing this, last August, I had just finished reading Eclipse. I was trying to develop this story as a continuation of that book as much as I possibly could. Given Stephenie Meyer's parameters, it isn't an easy task. However, I was pleased to read on page 25 of Breaking Dawn that pre-wedding Edward and Bella were on her bed, wrapped up in each other and Edward was shirtless. That's pretty much where I have them begin this chapter, so I'm not too far out of line, am I?

It's clear in BD that they had been doing some boundary pushing of their own; we just didn't get all the juicy details. Bella does say "practice makes perfect" and he replies that they "should have reached perfection by now." To me that means what I've written is right in line with what they've been doing between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Well, close anyway. This may be too intense for younger viewers, so just know you've been warned.

"I know what you want Bella, and I have to admit I want it too. Being near you like this brings the most pleasure and the most pain; your skin is silkier than any rose petal, your natural scent is more fragrant than the rarest flower, your beautiful brown eyes are so expressive, and your lips; your lips drive me wild," he concluded, unable to resist kissing me passionately. When he released me I was breathless but hopeful.

Chapter 36: She Will Be Loved

"But one of us has to be the adult," he said with regret, "and I refuse to do anything that would hurt you."

"All right," I agreed, but I didn't move. I was still straddling his leg, resting on his chest. Maybe this wouldn't be all that I hoped for, but it was still good.

"You know Bella, there's a lot to be said for kissing," he said fervently.

I hoped that meant he wasn't ready for this to stop, because I certainly wanted it to go on. He just said he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but that still left the door open for a lot of stuff, in my imagination anyway. His long, lean body was going to be the death of me, one way or the other. I could only hope.

"Oh I agree with you, totally. I'm not complaining about that. I can't even begin to describe how I feel when you kiss me," I said, thinking of all the sensations my body produced when I felt his cold lips touch the warmth of mine and came alive. "I know I haven't had that much experience, but I'm sure no one could compare with you, Edward."

I felt his chest rumble beneath me and I could just barely hear a low growl. I shivered and his hand began to trace random patterns on my back.

I exhaled slowly, enjoying the closeness. "I just wonder how this will be for us, after I'm changed. I'm afraid I will be so different, you will miss my being human," I said wistfully.

"You know, I am beginning to think that perhaps I won't be losing anything when you are changed. Perhaps things will be even better."

"Well I can think of one thing that will be better," I said, longing for the day that finally all the boundaries between us would be gone.

"Yes, I am looking forward to that, too, but that's not exactly what I meant. I'm wondering if, as good as you smell to me now, you might even smell better, because I won't have to fight the lure of your blood."

"I never thought about it like that." I hadn't spent a lot of time contemplating the day when blood would no longer be coursing through my veins. It just wasn't something I wanted to think about unless I had to. While I was good at science, contemplating my own physiology wouldn't get me any closer to my goal.

I just wanted to be with Edward and was willing to do whatever that took. I thought about Alice and Esme and how they both seemed happy and contented, and so graceful and lovely. I hoped a little bit of that would rub off on me.

"Everything I love about you will be intensified, Bella. I will spend my days and nights worshipping you, you don't have to worry about that."

I shivered in anticipation and he spread out the fingers of his hand in the middle of my back and pressed me tighter against his chest. The sound of his voice and the sweet things he said made me feel as if I was wrapped in a blanket of love, and he was talking in a positive way about how I would be after I was changed. This made me so happy. I reached my hand up to touch his face and he took my hand and pressed a kiss into my palm.

"However, I'm not going to let you tempt me any further with this now; we're going to be married very soon, and it may just be a ceremony to you, but those vows mean something to me. I want to love, honor and cherish you the rest of my days."

"But not obey," I added, raising up to see his face.

"No, not obey, and I'm not old fashioned enough to think that you are blindly going to obey me, or anyone. You love to break the rules too much," he said with amusement in his voice.

"Pot meet Kettle. Kettle, Pot," I said with a twinkle in my eye.

He shifted me over to lie next to him and looked down into my eyes. "Whatever do you mean, Bella?" He feigned ignorance.

"Aren't you breaking the ultimate rule, falling in love with a human?" I asked innocently.

He blinked. "Good point, but I have never fallen in love with both a human and a vampire, Miss Kettle."

I blinked. I felt myself involuntarily gasp, my spine stiffening. This was my worst nightmare come to life. I really didn't want to ever talk about this with Edward. I knew it would just hurt him more, but now I was trapped and there didn't seem to be any possible escape.

He knew I had been in love with Jacob. That was different than just loving him. How could he know? I never told him. Alice. No, Alice couldn't see me with Jake. Jake. He must have told him. He was the only one who knew, besides me.

How could he? How could he do that to me? How could he hurt Edward like that? I felt my hands clench into fists. I wanted to scream, but not at Edward. I owed Edward an explanation; I only hoped I could make him understand and not hate me. I took a deep breath.

"I was very confused, Edward. I've had some time to think about that day, and after almost freezing to death, what I witnessed on the mountain top with you and Victoria, and then in the clearing, and with Jane, physically and emotionally I was a wreck," I said softly. I swallowed hard and then continued. "Yes, I did let myself fall in love with Jacob, for a moment, but even then, it never came close to what I feel for you."

He nodded and drew me closer to him again.

"Do you remember when we were in the tent, and I started asking you about your ten favorite nights?"

"Of course," he said softly.

"Now I understand that Jake was eavesdropping, and I know that he didn't have to howl the way he did. He did that on purpose, to make me feel guilty. I probably wouldn't have kissed him then if he hadn't done that. I was so scared and I resisted at first, but then I thought about how he was threatening to go out and get himself killed over me and he kept pressing and pressing and I tried to make him stop but he thought I was encouraging him and it made him so happy. I realize now that I confused love with the remorse and obligation I was feeling. I really think I lost my mind for a moment. My mind sort of left my body; I don't think I could deal with everything that had been happening up to that point."

Jake always did have a way of saying something or giving me a look that would instantly produce a guilty feeling in me, and I fell for it over and over. Edward hardly ever did that, and when he did, it was to get me to do something for my own good, not something he wanted for himself. All he ever wanted was for me to be safe and happy, and I had tortured him so cruelly with my wavering over Jacob. I wished I could make it up to him somehow, erase all his fears and concerns; I so desperately needed to make him understand.

"At the time, I thought I was losing my best friend forever. I owed him so much; he kept me going when you were gone. I felt so sorry for him, and I will always love him as a friend. For just a moment I let my fear and confusion take over. It was a stupid mistake." I looked up into his warm topaz eyes. This was hard for him to hear.

"There's something else I haven't told you." I felt his body tense. I gulped. This was extremely difficult but I thought I needed to be totally honest now. I hated keeping any kind of secret from him. He looked like he didn't really want to hear it, but I thought as long as I had come this far I might as well continue. He had been more open and honest with me on this trip than ever before, revealing things about his past and sharing his feelings about everything that we had been through over the past two years. I felt obligated to reciprocate.

"After what we all went through … when I saw you and Victoria, I almost lost my mind with fear. I was so afraid of losing you. When I went to see Jake that last time, he was so warm and human. He was familiar and safe. He said he wanted me and I felt good enough for him. He's not perfect and neither am I, and I knew what I was getting with Jake. I didn't have to change to be with him."

I couldn't believe I was actually saying this out loud. It was even harder to admit than I had thought it would be. I didn't want to hurt Edward; I had already done enough of that. I just felt so close to him now, I had to tell the whole truth, no matter what it cost.

"I see." He clenched his jaw and looked like he was in pain. How could I be the one to wound him like this? But I had to go on.

"I realize now, at that moment I was so afraid of the unknown. I was afraid that after I was changed I would be so completely different that I would totally lose me." I was almost pleading now.

He nodded. He was trying to be soothing and make this easier for me, but I could tell he was upset. This was so hard for both of us. Would I ever stop being the cause of pain? I had to find the words to make what happened make sense. It all came tumbling out at once.

"I was afraid and disoriented; I felt like my life was spinning out of control. I thought I was in love with him, but I realize now I was just looking for an escape. Any way out. What I felt for him came out of desperation after the nightmare with Victoria, and he could take away my fear; he could numb my pain. He was like morphine for my soul."

I knew it hurt Edward to hear that I turned to Jake to ease my pain. I knew he wanted to be the one to do that, and from now on he would be, but I had to have that last human experience. I knew I would never turn to Jake again. I would never turn to anyone but Edward.

"Did you… I mean… how far did it go?" he whispered, his voice raw.

I stared at him blankly for a moment, not understanding what he meant. Then my eyes widened as the realization hit me.

"Edward! We didn't do anything. I just gave him a kiss goodbye, like he was my brother. That's all, I swear." It was the truth. He had to believe me.

"Is that all you wanted to do with him, Bella?" He sounded detached, analytical, the way I imagined a psychiatrist would sound, but I knew he was suffering. Maybe that was his way of dealing with it, and it frightened me. I was afraid he was slipping away and I reached out and took hold of his shoulders. They flexed beneath my hands but he said nothing.

"Yes, Edward. I never stopped loving you, I was thinking of you, even then. The moment with Jake passed fairly quickly, and that's all it was, a moment. I could picture a future with Jake but as soon as I did I realized it meant a future without you, and that was impossible for me to comprehend. I knew it was my destiny to be with you, and I also knew by choosing that destiny I would be losing my best friend… and, in a way, I would be losing myself."

I watched the hard square of his jaw and the soft curve of his perfect full lips for a clue as to how he was taking all this, but his face was like a mask, cold and immobile. I couldn't stop, I had to make him understand. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"That was one of the reasons I cried so much that night. It was like the final step I had to take to be with you forever. I wasn't just losing Jake, it was like I was saying goodbye to my old life. That's when it really hit me that it meant everyone I knew. Like I was saying goodbye to one future without having a clear picture of what my new future was going to hold…and you know how I don't like surprises."

He remained silent, but I could see the anguish in his beautiful golden eyes and the tendons straining in his neck.

"Of course I knew you were going to be in my future. I was looking forward to being with you. I want to be with you forever, but I was worried about myself. I was worried that I would lose all my memories; I wouldn't be able to even remember Charlie or Renee." I sighed and ran one hand down his arm. "You know our relationship can never be classified as simple and easy."

It hurt even now to think about all that, but I had to get this out in the open if he was to believe me. I took a deep breath and continued my disjointed explanation.

"I was worried that I wouldn't be able to deal with everything; that I would be out of control and cause problems for you and your whole family. I think that was the moment when it all became too real to me, and I didn't handle it very well. Turning to Jacob was a mistake; but I will never make that mistake again. I should have come to you with all my fears but I was afraid you would use them as a reason to keep me human, and I don't want that. Even in my fear and confusion, deep down I knew I could never turn away from you."

His voice was hollow, devoid of all emotion as he asked, "Did you consider all the things that he can give you that I can't?"

"Yes, I did. I know he could give me a stable home and a family, but I don't want to spend my life in LaPush. I know we might have had children, but I don't need children, Edward, and I need you."

"I wasn't sure you had thought about all of that." He sounded like he could hardly get the words out. I knew this was torturing him, but it would be worse if I tried to lie now.

"I thought about a lot of things. Jacob thinks he loves me, but he hasn't imprinted, and the pack will come first anyway. I'm selfish enough to want—"

"That's not being selfish, Bella." He sounded exasperated with me.

I stopped then and pulled his face so he had to look at me. His eyes were blank and impassive. He was trying so hard not to show any emotion and I knew this was killing him. He started to shake his head but I reached up and placed my hand against his cheek, stroking it softly. I had to find a way to get through to him.

"I just feel sorry for Jacob now. He still wants me but I will never want him that way. I will never want him the way I want you, Edward."

His expression softened a little, and my heart spluttered and thumped unevenly.

"There was another reason I couldn't stop crying that night. I felt so guilty for what I had put you through over Jacob. I knew I had hurt him and I knew I had hurt you even worse and I hated myself for that. I wished you would yell at me or do something but you just kept holding me and I knew how hard it was for you and I couldn't find the words to explain anything then," I said in a rush.

"I was afraid you were never going to stop crying," he said sadly.

"You were so patient with me. I'm sorry I ever got so close to Jacob. I should never have let things go as far as they did."

"That wasn't entirely your fault, Bella. None of it would have happened if I had never left you in the first place."

Then it hit me. Maybe a way he could understand. "Haven't you ever said something that you didn't really mean, and wished you could take it back?"

A look of understanding came over his face. His topaz eyes suddenly sparkled. "Bella," he whispered.

"Yes, Edward, I thought about the mistakes I made, and then I realized that the only thing that matters is how much I love you. I love only you, with all my heart," I said simply. "Please believe me."

"I do," he said softly, the love shining in his eyes again, all traces of pain gone. It was as if that vow suddenly joined us together in a way that had not been possible before.

He put his hand behind my neck and slowly drew me into a gentle kiss. It felt like we had all the time in the world. Suddenly the tension was gone and there was only room for happiness. He kissed me a dozen times and whispered my name between each kiss.

"My angel, your kisses are the closest thing to heaven I will ever experience."

He pulled back and I saw a new look in his eyes. It was as if his soul had found peace.

I could never doubt his love again. We had reached the final understanding. He knew that he had my whole heart and I knew he accepted me and loved me exactly as I was. He knew the worst now, and he still loved me. My human faults and weaknesses didn't matter to him.

"Bella, I want to make you happy," he whispered, his voice low and persuasive. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight against him. This was the embrace I longed for; feeling Edward's strong arms enveloping me made my heart soar.

"You do make me happy." I was so relieved we had talked about this and he had understood. I felt so free and unrestricted now, and I could feel the love radiating from Edward. He was positively glowing. He smiled his crooked smile and I thought it would be difficult to be happier than I was at this moment.

His finger tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear as he leaned closer and said seductively, "That's not what I meant." Then he began kissing his way across my jaw to my lips.

"You are so innocent," he murmured, just before giving me a tender kiss.

"I am asking permission to touch you in ways I have never done before, and make you feel things you never have before. I want to worship your body, Isabella, my only love."

When the meaning of his word sank in I began to tremble. This was it. He was ready. Was I?

"Edward… I thought you wanted to wait for the wedding," I began, confusion evident in my tone.

"I do," he smiled, his golden eyes twinkling. "Right now I want to give you pleasure, I want you to know how much I adore you…" he ran his hand down my side to my thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I want you to feel my passion for you, but this will not approach what I have planned for our wedding night."

He's planning our wedding night. The very thought made me shiver, and he skimmed his nose along my jaw line back to my neck where he started smothering my throat in kisses. It was almost impossible to think clearly when he did this.

"Will you let me love you, Bella?" He raised his head to gaze into my eyes with longing.

"Yes," I whispered, still confused but willing.

"This is going to be a bit of a test for me, as well. I don't want to lose control, so can you please keep your warm little hands on my arms or shoulders? When you run your hands around my neck and into my hair, I can feel myself weakening, and I can't risk that."

It suddenly became clear what he meant. The thought of giving him pleasure made me much happier than the thought of him trying to give me pleasure. Maybe I could convince him. "No, Edward, that's not fair. I want to touch you, I want to love you, too," I pleaded.

"When has our relationship ever been fair?"

I put my hand up to his lips, wanting to silence him before he could say that there was nothing fair about how I was going to forfeit my humanity in order to be with him. "Please?"

"That will all come after the wedding. I want this to be about you. Besides, I don't think Margaret would appreciate it if I destroyed this bed, it's an antique." He smiled down at me.

My brows drew together in confusion and he leaned in and kissed my forehead. When he leaned back he said, "Please take this step with me. Believe me, it will make me very happy." His tone was pleading and he was gazing at me with so much longing, it was impossible to say no.

"Ever the sick, masochist lion," I said with a rueful smile.

"I'm just good at delaying gratification. One day soon I will take you and you will no longer wonder about my capacity for pleasure," he said smoothly, his voice like honey.

Hearing his words sent a spark through me, and its reverberation made me quiver. I nodded and found his lips on mine, ecstatic. After a moment, he pulled back, suddenly serious.

"You will let me know if you want to stop," his tone making it clear that was a command.

"I won't want to stop, Edward. You can do anything you want with me. I know you won't hurt me. I love you; I can't get close enough to you. I need you." I was beyond blushing now; I didn't care how red I turned. I felt this electricity buzzing through my body, humming in my veins. I could barely keep still. He was so beautiful, hovering over me like one of my dreams.

He suddenly collapsed on top of me, burying his head in my neck and breathing deeply. He was letting me feel the weight of him on top of me, the feeling I craved, and I gently slid my hands up his arms to grip his shoulders.

"When you say something like that it is overwhelming, Bella. To know that I could accidentally end your life in a split second, and you are so willing, so eager, so trusting."

"I can't wait to be your wife," I whispered, knowing he would hear me, and knowing this was something else he wanted to hear.

He growled into my neck, the vibration giving me goosebumps on my arms and legs and making me squirm underneath him.

He rolled to his side and pulled me with him. He took my hand and began kissing my wrist, his lips pressing firmly against my flesh, hinting at emotions he so carefully kept under control. He covered every inch of my skin as he worked his way up my arm to the soft area inside my elbow. I gasped and shivered. He raised his head and searched my face as if seeking approval. His eyes were smoldering like an ethereal amber fire as they locked onto mine. He must have sensed my desire because he resumed slowly blazing a trail of searing kisses up to my shoulder.

He closed his eyes and I could tell he was experiencing a rush of feelings, just as I was. He gently pushed me onto my back and continued placing open mouthed kisses across the base of my neck, tasting my flesh. He had never spent so much time and care lavishing me with kisses like this, and I was almost overwhelmed with the tenderness and love I could feel every time his lips touched my body.

Placing a knee on either side of my legs, Edward lowered himself onto me so I could again feel the pressure of his hard body and I immediately responded, grasping his shoulders and kissing him wildly. He let me bite his bottom lip and suck on it while he moaned lowly. I knew I had to be careful but this was amazing; there was nothing that could compare with the sweet purity of Edward's mouth. I felt his long, cool fingers slide around the back of my neck and into my hair, tugging on it gently as he took command of our kiss.

I felt the pulse of desire blossoming deep within me and wondered if Edward could feel it, too. He always seemed so in tune with what was going on inside my body.

He removed his lips from mine, allowing me to breathe and as I gazed into his darkening eyes I saw a new, wild look, like a storm about to rage out of control. The intensity was close to rendering me helpless, my heart beating painfully in my chest, and I didn't know how to react except to blush an even deeper shade of red, producing heat radiating from my chest and toward him.

He traced the shape of my mouth with the tip of his cool tongue, setting all my nerve endings on fire. He let out an intoxicating breath and I inhaled greedily. I would never be able to get enough of him. His lips covered mine and moved against them passionately. He wasn't trying to hide his need for me and I had never felt more cared for and desired.

Then suddenly he flung himself onto his back next to me and I immediately missed the weight of his body pressing on mine. He entwined the fingers of his left hand with those of my right as he lay there silently, taking deep, unnecessary breaths that matched my own very necessary breaths. My heart thumped unevenly as I tried to calm myself. I knew this was probably torture for his self control, but he had suggested it, and I wanted him now more than ever.

After a moment he said, his voice just above a whisper, "You are the warmest thing I've ever known, Bella. I'm sorry I'm so cold for you."

I groaned in my head; why did he think things like that? The heat coming from the fireplace was more than enough to keep me warm anyway. Despite how he had cautioned me about touching him I couldn't help but roll on to my side and curl up next to him. As soon as my hot cheek rested on his chest I felt better. "Edward, I'm so overheated, I'm glad you're cool. I think you're perfect for me."

He reached over and took my left hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss into my palm. "I would give you the world if you asked for it, Bella."

"I don't want the world, I only want you," I said firmly, hoping he could hear the conviction in my voice. "I'd be perfectly happy to live in an igloo if you were there."

Then his lips were on my forehead and when he removed them I looked up and saw the intensity burning in his eyes. "I think it's impossible to love you any more than I do," he said, his voice husky with emotion.

"I know the feeling," I murmured, as he brought his mouth to mine again and began kissing me in earnest. His lips were smooth and seemed warm and sweet to me as they moved against mine with deliberation, as if he were in complete control. He ran his artist's hands down my sides, familiarizing himself with my curves. I was happy to surrender to his every touch, relaxing against him and letting him have his way.

After a few moments he sat up and rested his back against the heavy log headboard. He lifted me to sit between his legs, spread in a V, with my back against his chest. "I hope you know you're the loveliest girl in the world," he whispered as he moved my hair away from my left shoulder and began placing his lips there in open mouth kisses, as if he were tasting my flesh. He wrapped one arm around my waist, keeping me close to him. His cool breath blew on the areas he had just kissed and I shuddered against him.

I threw my head back, quivering from the sensations he was creating inside me and called out his name. It was hard to keep still, and my hands gripped his thighs. He hissed then and stopped for a moment. "That's good, keep your hands there," he instructed as his lips again paid homage to my exposed neck. "You make me feel like there's fire running through my veins, Bella, you make me feel so alive," he whispered against the skin on my throat.

Edward was usually an awful tease, but I could tell there was nothing teasing in his manner now. It would be truly wonderful if I were able to remain conscious under this deluge of his attentions. He could make me faint with just a kiss. I thought about the first time he took me to our meadow and how I would have let him make love to me then, if that had been his desire. I was already in love with him and although he told me he wanted my blood, I didn't completely comprehend what being a vampire really meant. Now that I knew, it made what he was doing now even more amazing because of the struggle he endured, every single second he was with me. I thought my heart might burst from the love I felt for him.

His right hand had been moving up and down my leg, slow and steady with no hesitation, squeezing my calf, caressing my thigh, and then he had stopped at the area just above my hip. His fingers ran back and forth, dipping close to my center and then stilled. "Your blood is pumping so hard, Bella. That's your femoral artery," he said, gently applying a bit more pressure with his broad hand.

I squirmed under his touch, wishing his hand were on my skin, cursing the fabric that was still separating us. I hoped he would just undress me, but he had already said earlier that wouldn't happen until after the wedding. He was moving so patiently, carefully. Would nothing stop this ache inside me?

"Please touch me, Edward," I barely sighed, voice full of longing.

His left hand slipped under the edge of my top and he delicately explored the skin on my stomach, drawing a circle around my navel with his index finger and giving me goosebumps. I giggled quietly, not wanting to distract him. Then he slid his fingertips along my side, and up until he skimmed the side of my breast. I think we were both holding our breath until his hand caressed that tender mound of flesh.

At first Edward's fingertips were light and cool, like a wisp of velvet that had been left outside on a cold night. After prolonged contact with my overheated flesh they warmed up and his touches became firmer, stronger. I couldn't get enough and I never wanted him to stop. I ached to touch him, but all I could do was rub his thighs and squeeze harder when I couldn't stop myself.

"Oh God, Bella," he whispered, "tell me… tell me what you want."

"That… yes, more," I gasped as his palm covered my breast. Impulses were shooting straight to my core with each touch. I pushed myself against him harder, and he increased the pressure he was using until I cried out. He immediately stopped and kissed my neck, saying, "I'm so sorry."

"No, it felt good, don't stop," I hastened to reassure him. "I love you, Edward."

He groaned and resumed his kneading with renewed vigor, letting his thumb brush back and forth, driving me wild. I was incredibly warm now, and I could feel the flush spreading from my face, down my neck and across my chest, and I knew he would notice this. He hissed and his lips were at my neck again, and his right hand ran back and forth on my thigh and then traveled to the inside. My hips moved against his hand of their own accord. My mind was slowly disengaging from rational thought and I could just barely hear him cursing softly as he kissed and licked my neck. A heady aroma clung to the air around him, making me weak with desire.

Edward shifted me slightly, turning me so my back was resting against his left arm, while his hand continued its rubbing and tweaking movements, drawing sighs and moans from me, which he now correctly interpreted as encouragement. His other hand reached under my hips and repositioned me across his lap. I slid my arm around his waist and clutched the small of his back.

He lowered his face to capture my lips in a passionate kiss as his right hand traveled up from my hip, slowly slid across my stomach and around my back. Edward's cool skin felt so perfect on mine as his fingertips slipped under the waistband of my pajama bottoms and he lightly caressed the curve of my hip, then his touch was firmer as he pulled me closer to him. I gasped as his tongue plundered my mouth, and his hand began to explore an as of yet untouched part of my body. I thought I would die from the combination of sensations. Every place he touched left a trail of fire but I never wanted him to stop.

I knew this was right; I wanted to spend forever with him, and there was that space in my heart that no one else could fill. Edward was everything to me and I hoped I could be everything to him.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes again. Edward was almost too beautiful with his bronze locks falling over his forehead and framing his exquisite face. I smiled in wonder that this dangerous angel loved me. I reached up and traced the smooth contour of his lips with my finger. His lips parted and he gently gripped my finger and drew it inside his mouth. His tongue swirled around it and I shivered from the heady sensation that stirred within me and I started feeling warmer despite being so close to Edward's naturally cold body.

Every little part of my skin was aroused. I looked into his golden eyes and they were flickering like they were on fire. My pulse quickened and my heart beat wildly.

He released my finger and briefly flashed that beloved crooked smile. Then he brought an icy finger up to my lips and began to trace them. He rubbed my bottom lip slowly, back and forth. When I understood what he desired, I opened my mouth and he gently slipped his finger past my lips. The cold was a shock to my warm tongue and I shivered.

I looked at his face and his expression was so beautiful, he truly looked like an immortal sent down from heaven. I mimicked what he had done, swirling my tongue around until I felt the warmth transfer to his finger. It no longer felt cold. He withdrew it slowly and then gently put his hand over my heart and quickly kissed me, hard, his passion laced with restrained ferocity.

"I can only resist for so long, and I feel like I'm nearing the end of my rope where you're concerned, my wild little heart" he breathed. I inhaled his delicious scent and then he began a slow, sensuous kiss that left shock waves radiating through my body.

Just a normal kiss from Edward was enough to make me dizzy and this assault on my senses was almost more than I could handle. I thought about what he had said about his senses and emotions being so much more intense than mine, and I believed him now. I had never felt anything like this in my entire life.

My heart was pounding and my head was spinning. His lips were burning against mine. I began to tremble. I was filled with an energy like molten honey that made me feel ready to take on the world. I thought he must be able to sense it too.

The love I felt for Edward overwhelmed me and pierced my heart like a knife, pain mixed with exquisite pleasure. I shuddered as a wave of love and desire washed over me. Edward was at the center of my universe, holding me immutably, like gravity. The depth of his passion for me was more powerful than the sun and the stars. I felt it in every cell of my body and longed to give him everything I had in return. Every caress spoke of his adoration and yearning for me and I could never doubt him again.

"Don't stop, Edward, please don't stop," I gasped, taking in a deep breath. He kissed me possessively then, his mouth claiming me as his and his alone. I was shocked and thrilled as a blaze of shooting stars passed across my vision.

I hovered on the brink of ecstasy for several long moments as Edward's artistic fingers played an intricate, rhythmic melody against my most tender flesh. I began making unfamiliar sounds, deep in my throat and Edward moaned in response, a warm, dark sound that sent a chill down my spine. His lips were everywhere at once, my throat, my mouth, my neck and then on my breast, as he gently kissed and nibbled through the silk fabric of my pajama top. All of his movements were producing a feeling so intense I began to feel lightheaded.

His other hand was under my top, massaging my breast as I arched and writhed against him. I now held onto his shoulder, never relaxing my grip for fear that he would stop if I let my hand wander as it pleased. I felt every muscle in my body begin to quiver and I could feel Edward's body responding beneath me. My heart swelled with love for him and I felt as if he had touched every fiber of my being.

I opened my eyes, looked at his unruly hair as his mouth was still at my breast, and longed to twist my fingers in it and pull him up to my face. I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to interrupt what he was doing.

Finally I could stand it no longer and his name escaped my lips in a breathy whisper. "Edward."

He looked up and then raised his head.

"Kiss me," I managed to gasp, as I began to pant.

His mouth captured mine in a fierce kiss that matched the excitement he was creating inside me; both his hands continued their urgent ministrations, taking me closer and closer to the edge. I felt his fingers twisting and curling, as tremors began to stir within me. His cool, smooth tongue roughly swept across my bottom lip and as I parted my lips he plunged in and took me over the edge. My mouth flooded with his sweetness; nothing ever tasted or felt as good as Edward. At that moment I thought I could die of happiness.

An explosion raced through my body, sending waves of unknown pleasure pulsing to every extremity. I cried out but it was muffled by Edward's mouth on mine as I trembled and he pressed himself closer to me, shuddering. In my soaring state of mind it seemed as if my bones had turned to liquid and I felt like I was tingling all over.

I clung to Edward and consciousness with fairly equal resolve. My vision blurred as I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply, then felt like I was floating, recovering from the most intense feeling I had ever experienced. In the back of my mind I reminded myself that this was just a small taste; that Edward was, by his own admission, "holding back."

I inhaled slowly, drenched in the scent of him, his lips so close, his breath encapsulating me in a hazy fog of bliss. I exhaled again, and became aware of his hand resting on the smooth skin of my inner thigh, so close to where he had just caused an eruption of pleasure. I was glad he was still holding onto me like that. I never wanted to be separated from him again.

"Bella, love," Edward's voice was gentle, as were his fingers, rubbing small circles on my thigh.

I briefly opened my eyes and stared into his exquisite face, so full of love. I closed my eyes again, reveling in this new, euphoric feeling. My body was still reacting to Edward's sweet experiment, leaving a distracting and pleasant ache as I lay limply in his strong arms, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I love you, Edward, thank you." My voice has so little volume behind it; if he weren't superhuman I was sure he wouldn't have been able to hear me. I felt so weak.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world. You're radiant, do you know that? Your skin is glowing. I can't believe you belong to me," he said as if in awe.

I could barely smile, hell, I could barely move. I still felt almost as if I was underwater, floating on unknown waves, but I wanted him to know what I was feeling. I forced my eyes open again. "You belong to me, Edward. I want to do that for you, too."

He smiled then, his perfect white teeth gleaming in the dim light. "All in good time. We don't need to talk about that now; this is all about you. Besides, it makes me happy to make you happy. Was everything…"

"Yes, I've never felt anything like that before, you're amazing. Are you sure…"

"Yes, Bella, I'm quite sure. I've never done anything like that before, either, so I am very glad I was able to please you. I love you so much." His eyes were so warm and full of wonder; he did look awfully happy.

"Mmm," was all I was able to respond with at this point, as his hand squeezed my leg in a way that was both comforting and possessive. I loved it, but if he didn't stop it I thought I would probably faint; I was so close to total sensory overload. I wondered how long this feeling would last as I closed my eyes again and tried to breathe normally. I seemed to have handed complete control of my body over to Edward but I couldn't find anything to complain about, other than the fact that he refused to let me reciprocate; for now.

I felt Edward bury his nose in the crook of my neck and heard him inhale deeply. "You are mine," he whispered in my ear.

"I feel so close to you, Edward." I wrapped my hand around his neck, wanting to stay like this forever.

Then his lips were on my cheeks, then my forehead. "I am so glad we're getting married soon, you have no idea," he murmured as he wrapped both arms around me and shifted me so I was lying next to him and he pulled the covers over me. I struggled to rest my head on his bare chest, and he tucked the blankets around me but didn't put them between us for once.

He was wrong about getting married; I did have an idea; a very good idea. "I can't wait to get married, either, Edward." I was so looking forward to the day I could get my hands on him with no restrictions. I knew I had made the right decision in choosing Edward, and this experience had just confirmed what I always felt in my heart. No one could ever touch me or make me feel the way Edward did. I vowed to myself that once I was his mate in every sense of the word I would never give him reason to regret my decision, either.

"You should go back to sleep now, it's still very early," he said softly, but I could hear the happiness in his velvet voice. He began to hum my lullaby.

"You won't leave again?" I asked, suddenly remembering my bad dream.

"I have no reason to go out now, don't worry about that, sweetheart. I will be right here when you awaken. I don't ever want to let go of you."

I felt his lips gently touch mine once, then twice. I smiled and then I couldn't fight it any longer and drifted off to a deep, dreamless sleep.

AN: I know that not all of you who have this story on Alert have been reviewing, so now's the time. How was it for you?

I could never have written this chapter without the feedback and advice from my fantastic Beta, Ranma15177. I always value her perspective and she is a tremendous help with every chapter. My original Beta, not done baking also contributed greatly to shaping BMOM. Check out my Favorite Author's List and see their stories, too , you'll be glad you did.