Chapter 10 – Protection and Possession

"This is getting to be a habit."

"I think most people would call it a tradition," Cameron countered.

"Nonsense. I do not have holiday traditions," Snape sneered, as if it were somehow a weakness, and he was above such things.

Cameron chuckled. "Far be it from me to contradict you. I'll just let the situation speak for itself," he said, summoning Snape's gift. "Here. Shut your mouth and give me my present."

Snape rolled his eyes, but Cameron was soon ripping the paper off Garden Your Way to Eden: From Paltry to Paradise. "Hey! Are you casting aspersions on my garden? I'll have you know I've worked quite hard on it," he said as Snape lifted his gift out of the box. "No, I think I'll have that back. I'm not sure you deserve it anymore."

"Too late," Snape answered, slapping his hand away, "I shall be keeping this—" he broke off for a moment to study the item "—dressing gown for myself. A dressing gown?"

Cameron fought not to blush, but from the look on Snape's face he figured it wasn't working. Honestly, how was he supposed to fulfill his fantasy of lounging about Snape's quarters in nothing but the man's dressing gown if he didn't even have one?

"Never mind that. Come upstairs with me?"

He stood and held out a hand to Snape, who stammered, "Oh, I, er…sure," before following him silently to the bedroom.

Snape stood stiffly in the middle of the room, eyes darting about, so Cameron took it upon himself to remove their clothes. When he tugged Snape's undershirt over his head, Snape wrapped his arms around himself and said, "It's the middle of the afternoon."

"Well spotted. Is that a problem?" Cameron asked, bemused, as he shucked his trousers.

"It's just so…bright in here."

"Yes. I've been wanting to get a good look at you." He tugged on Snape's arms and held them away from his body by the wrists. His skin was sallow and sported several scars, new and old. His shoulders were well-muscled, but Cameron could plainly see his ribcage. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

Snape's face hardened and he jerked away.

"Wow. Did anybody ever tell you you're really bad at taking compliments?" Cameron took hold of Snape's shoulders and walked him back toward the bed. "Calm down," he pleaded and distracted Snape with a hard, demanding kiss while he unfastened his trousers and tugged them down his legs.

Cameron laid him back on the bed, determined to make this last. Before, it had always been fumbling, quick and dirty. He had a craving for Snape's body that was unlike anything he'd ever felt before, and he was definitely planning to indulge. After all, it was Christmas. He licked across a nipple, traced the surprisingly soft hair on Snape's belly, sucked on his toes, breathed in the scent of his arousal. He fed on the little noises Snape was trying and failing to hold back.

"Roll over for me."

Snape tensed. "You're not…I don't…"

"Don't worry. We won't do that tonight. Trust me—I'm fairly sure you'll like this."

He complied, but he was far from relaxed. Cameron spent a few minutes kneading his way down Snape's back until the muscles loosened somewhat. He considered issuing a warning before he moved on, but decided it was probably best not to give Snape too much time to freak out.

He spread the soft, pasty cheeks and licked over the dusky pucker.

Snape jerked. "Oh my—what are you…? Nnngh…" Cameron smiled as much as he could at his reaction, but kept on. If Snape had wanted him to stop, he reasoned, he'd have told him in no uncertain terms. That, and he probably wouldn't be pushing his arse back into Cameron's face quite so enthusiastically.

He decided this was something he wanted to do every day, if possible. Reduce Severus Snape to incoherency. It was a terrible turn-on, and combined with the feel of the soft skin and straining muscles of his hips under Cameron's fingers and the taste and scent of his most intimate place invading his senses, Cameron thought he might just lose his mind. It would be no great loss, he reasoned, if he could keep doing this.

Snape's hips started moving more insistently, and he was murmuring, "Cameron, Cameron, Cameron," over and over. It was the first time he'd ever heard his first name on those lips. Even if he considered this the most odious task in the world, that would have made it worth it. As he was rather enjoying it, it seemed like icing on the cake.

"Cameron, Cam—aaahh." Snape stiffened under him and his muscles clenched around Cameron's tongue. If he could, Cameron would have shouted. Instead, he laid his head on Snape's thigh for a few minutes and recovered his breath before moving up to lie beside him.

"So, what did you think?" he asked.

Snape lifted his head from the pillow and slowly opened his eyes. "That was…I didn't know…Oh! I should—" he gestured toward Cameron's groin.

Cameron grinned. "No need."

"You mean you…?"

"Came just from the sound and the feel and the taste of you?" he asked, watching Snape's face get pinker and pinker. "Yes," he concluded and leaned in for a kiss.

XXX

He was considering abandoning his brandy in favor of the Potions Master, when a head unexpectedly popped into the fireplace and called, "Snape! Snape, are you there?"

"Is that—?" Cameron started, but Snape cut him off with a gesture and moved to kneel on the hearth.

"What do you want, Malfoy?"

"I thought you might be interested to know—oh. Am I interrupting something?"

Cameron could hear him smirking from the sofa.

"You are. What was it you wanted?"

"Nothing of consequence. We can discuss this some other time. Enjoy your evening," he said, and then he was gone.

"What in Merlin's name was that about?" Cameron asked, peeved. "Does he make a habit of dropping in to discuss things of no consequence?"

Snape's look was amused. "Are you jealous?"

"I—no, of course not," Cameron answered, then a moment later— "Should I be?"

"Of Lucius Malfoy?" Snape snorted. "Do you think so poorly of me?"

"No! I just…he's just so…"

"Pretty?" Cameron nodded. "Pretty isn't everything. I'd wager he was calling to see if I had any potions on hand that he might enjoy using to torture some hapless plaything of his."

"Ah." Cameron felt like an idiot.

"Take me to bed, Sage."

Well, that got his attention. "Thought you'd never ask," he replied, following Snape into the bedroom. He'd had a hell of a time keeping himself in check the last couple of months. At times, he wanted nothing more than to find out what Snape's face would look like when Cameron's cock stroked over his prostate or to kiss him within an inch of his life and beg Snape to fuck him, slow and hard.

For some reason, though, that seemed off-limits like it never had with anyone else. It felt like it would be wrong, somehow, and there was a niggling feeling of guilt lurking in a dimly lit corner of his mind. He wasn't sure where it was coming from, but he didn't want to examine it too closely. Instead, he focused on the wet warmth of Snape's mouth around his prick and the tickling brush of Snape's hair against his skin, trying to forget the revelation he'd come to over a year ago and had yet to share with his lover.

XXX

When he flooed into Snape's quarters, he expected to find his lover marking papers at his desk as usual. Instead, he was sitting on the sofa, staring blankly at his hands fisted in his lap. He didn't even look up when Cameron tripped over the hearthrug. What was going on?

"Snape, are you all right?" he asked, resting a hand on Snape's forearm.

He raised his head slowly. "I—no. Yes, I…I…"

Cameron was worried. He'd never seen Snape look so lost. He noticed a piece of parchment crumpled in Snape's fist. "Tell me what's wrong," he cajoled, sitting next to Snape and guiding his head to rest on his shoulder. "Please, tell me."

"My mother—she's dead."

"Oh—I'm so sorry. Were you…were you close?"

"When I was a child, but we hadn't spoken for over ten years. When I—she didn't approve of my…choices."

So she'd stopped associating with her son when he became a Death Eater. "What happened? How did she die?"

"Pneumonia."

"I thought—isn't that usually cured fairly easily?" Cameron asked cautiously.

"It's been a long time since she used magic. She didn't go to St. Mungo's."

"I don't understand. Why not?"

"I don't really know. When I was growing up, she never would…defend herself. Not with magic. She'd fight back, sometimes, but it just fueled his rage. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think she did it for me. She took the brunt of it, let him…do those things to her, to keep him from doing it to me. I was so angry with her for letting him get away with it! And I never told her…I never thanked her…" Snape trailed off and buried his face in Cameron's shoulder.

"Forgive me," he whispered, "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Shh," Cameron murmured, petting Snape's hair. "I've got you, it's all right." He rocked them gently, wondering what exactly Snape's father had done to his wife and child.

"Is he still alive, your father?"

Snape shook his head. "No, he was killed in a brawl several years ago."

Well, that was one less thing to worry about.

"I never understood why she wouldn't leave him. I hated her for not taking me away from there, but I never stood up him either. It just seemed like that was the way things were supposed to be."

"Believe me, I know what you mean. But you understand now that whatever he did to you, you didn't deserve it, right? None of it was your fault."

"I—I know you're right. But I can't help wondering sometimes. You know what I am, the things I've done—maybe I did deserve it," he said in a small voice and Cameron wondered if he realized he was still speaking aloud.

"Listen to me, Severus. You were a child, and no child deserves anything but love from his parents. Nothing you could have done would be justification, nothing. Is that why you joined him, because you thought that was all you were good for?"

Snape didn't answer, which was answer enough in itself.

"What did he do to you?" he wondered aloud.

"It was nothing, really. Mum got the worst of it."

"It doesn't sound like it was nothing. You can talk to me—I'd never think less of you for it. When I was small, my relatives kept me locked in a cupboard with no food for days at a time. Do you think I deserved it? Does that make me less of a man?"

Snape shook his head. After a long moment of silence, just when Cameron was about to say something to ease the tension, Snape started speaking so softly that Cameron had to strain to hear him.

"It was just talk, mostly. He drank a lot. He was unpleasant at the best of times, but when he drank he was so angry and he liked to tell us just what he thought of us. The things he said… But the worst was when he dragged Mum upstairs and I could hear her pleading with him to stop, to slow down, that he was hurting her. When she was…was away, or he got too rough and knocked her unconscious, he'd come for me."

"Oh, Merlin," Cameron whimpered.

"It only happened a couple of times—three times. It was awful, but it was better than listening to him with my mother."

"Gods, Severus. Did he…?"

"You needn't coddle me, it was a long time ago. And he didn't—he never…went that far."

"But he did other things."

"He told me that I'd better enjoy it, because no one would ever want to touch me, that he could barely stand to look at me. That no one could—could want me, love me."

It was clear that, consciously or not, he'd taken the words to heart and, gods, he wanted nothing more than to tell him over and over again how much he loved him. But he'd never said it before, and he knew if he did now Snape would think he was just placating him. He'd wait until Snape could believe him.

It was a good thing Tobias Snape was dead already. If he hadn't been, Cameron would have had to leave right then to hunt him down and there were more important things he needed to do right then.

"Come on, Severus," Cameron said, blinking through his tears, "Come to bed, let me hold you."

Snape was trying to glare at him, but it wasn't really working and he followed easily.