Title: The Babysitter

Author: Azure K Mello

Part: 2?

Pairing: Angel/Spike

Rated: R

Type: AU

Summery: Will hates Angel; Xander and Liz love him.

Thank you to Snowpuppies for the plot bunny inspired by the amazing story On the Other Side. You, sexy muse, you. And to horseloverforever2001 who betaed the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS, Operation Ivy, The math trick of nines, Chucky Cheese's, the Who's song "Behind Blue Eyes", or Billy Idol's song "White Wedding". . . I do own a fork though. prod

Will sighed when he heard the doorbell. He hated Angel with a passion that could not be denied. The man was a condescending prick. There were times when Will wanted to throttle him just to see how the prat reacted. Shocking Angel would make Will happy. But Angel took everything in his stride. Xander's obscene and personal questions didn't phase him. And Lizzy's tears seemed to amuse him. He wanted Angel to get pissed, to react.

Turning back to his previous activities he filed and buffed his nails before applying a new coat of paint. The black polish was too shiny for his taste but it would do. He lined his eyes with red lip liner and smudged them. He blacked out his lips with eyeliner. And as he went through his closet he became steadily more angry. He slid the bolt on his locked door back and stormed out into the hall. Banging three times on the door next to his own he shouted, "Open the door, Buffy!"

The door opened slowly and the young blonde looked up at him, "I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"Really?" he asked sarcastically, "Well I wish you wouldn't steal my clothes, you fucking klepto!" He pushed past her wearing only his black leather pants.

"You look like a freak, William."

"I know," he replied without looking at her, "but freak looks good on me." Finding what he was searching for in the closet he brandished it in front of her. "You say their music sucks so why do you steal my Operation Ivy shirt?" The girl shrugged as her brother pulled said shirt on, mindful of his perfect make-up and gelled platinum hair. He grabbed his book bag and guitar out of his room and locked his door from the outside. "Have fun with lover boy," he didn't even bother to look at her as he spoke.

He barreled down the stairs and, upon entering the kitchen, saw his brother talking animatedly to the older boy from where he sat on the counter. "So I says, 'puts it down or I'll broke yer nose.' And guess what? He didn'. He didn' put it down, Ngel, so I broked his nose. And thens I gots back on the boat and the cap'tin was real angry with me so he putted me in chains and feeded me of his lion!"

"But, Xander," Angel said, egging the boy on, "you're here, with me. How did you get away?"

"Oh, I was ok. I just cutted my way out of him's tummy with my knife. . ." Xander paused trying to think of something else thrilling to add, "And, and he cried!"

"Cool!" Angel laughed. Then he saw Will and started to hum "White Wedding".

"Fuck you," said Will with unruffled resentment.

"Watch your mouth in front of him," Angel said in an equally bored tone.

"Whatever, I'm going out."

"Will! We's going Chucky Cheese's!"

"Fun," his voice told Angel that it was anything but fun in the teenager's mind.

"Be home by one."

"What do you care? You aren't my keeper." Will left without waiting for Angel to reply. The door slammed after the youth.

Sighing, Angel shook his head as he stared at where Will had been standing, "But I could be," he muttered, "so easily."

A soft voice from behind him said, "Don't worry, Ngel, he doesn't like me neither." The college boy turned back to Xander. The boy looked forlorn with his lower lip jutting out, "Will doesn't like nobody." With another sigh Angel kissed the top of the toddler's head.

The eleven year old sat far too close to him at the pizza place. A voice inside wanted him to physically move her away. But he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Laughing slightly he watched as she counted on her fingers. "There is a far easier way to do nine's times table. Hold your hands up in front of you." He held his own out as a demonstration. "Ok, put any finger down. Ok going left to right what number finger is it that you just put down?"

"Seven?"

"Right. So this is nine times seven. Now everything on the left of the downed finger is your ten's value and everything on the right is the one's. So how many on the left?"

"Six."

"On the right?"

"Three."

"So what's seven times nine?"

"63?"

"Good girl! Try another." Looking up he scanned the place for his young ward. Xander was swimming in the ball pit. A slow smile crept onto Angel's face as he reached for a slice of pizza.

"Done!" announced Liz as she slammed her math book shut. "Would you please help me with my science?"

"It's Friday! Eat another slice of pizza and go play a game," he said dismissively.

That wasn't a viable option for Liz. Angel only paid attention to her when she needed help with her homework. It made no sense. He doted on Xander. He got peeved at Will. So why didn't he feel anything for her?

Once the little boy was bathed and dressed in warm pj's Angel got him into bed. "Story?" asked the older boy.

"Story!" agreed Xander with great gusto as he thrust a book into Angel's waiting hands. "Ngel?" he said softly, "I gots a question: why does yer hair stay that way?" He poked the brunette's forehead for emphasis.

"Shouldn't you wait until your brother is her to ask that question?"

"Oh," said Xander seriously, "This isn't one of his questions." He waited patiently expectant of the reply.

"I use strong hair gel." Angel saw the disappointment in the young face and quickly added in a matter of fact tone, "Which is eating through my scull and into my brain. I'll be dead within three years."

Wide eyed Xander asked, "Really?"

"Totally," deadpanned Angel.

"Cool!"

"How did I know you would say that?" asked Angel with a laugh.

"Cause yer smart!"

"Liz, if you need anything I'll be next door." Angel gave her a small rather forced smile.

As he came out of the room he banging directly into the bleached wonder. "Don't you ever look where you're bloody headed?"

"Sorry," said Angel with a put upon air, "I didn't see you there."

"Are you calling me short?"

With a shrug the college boy said, "Only a little."

"You're a total arse."

"Yes, I am." Angel nodded in agreement.

"Fuck you."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" William blushed slightly and Angel felt instantly repentant. "Sorry, I forgot how touchy high school boys are. Sorry."

"S'ok," sneered Will but he wouldn't look Angel in the eye, "S'not like I'd touch you with a bargepole even if I was a poof. . . but'm not."

"The feeling is more than mutual."

"Well that's good. Now it's cleared up I'll go up to my room."

"What happened to band practice?"

"Oz has food poisoning. Thought he was ok but then he vom-ed all over his own amp. Learn for his mistake, don't eat sushi off the naked body. It gets warm too quickly."

"I'll keep that in mind," Angel gave him a wry smile as he spoke. Will blushed again, mortified at the words that had just fallen out of his mouth. Shaking his head Will practically flew upstairs. "Keep it down," Angel called after him, "Xander just fell asleep." For a minute Angel just stood still. Had he just exchanged civil words with Will? Curiouser and curiouser. A vision of the boy laughing popped into his mind. With that thought he marched into the kitchen, shut the door softly, and then banged his head repeatedly on the counter as he gave himself strict instructions.. "Don't fantasize about minors. Don't lust after straight minors. Don't go after straight minors who hate you. Don't lust after Joyce's straight minor son who hates you." He rubbed his forehead as he straightened up. "He won't ever want you."

Upon walking back into the living room he smiled at Liz again, "I thought you were studying?" she asked.

"Yeah," he sounded genuinely confused, "so did I. . . has Will always been-"

"A fag?" she cut him off.

"I was going to say petulant. He's gay?"

"Have you seen the way he dresses? He's as bent as a twig." The eleven year old turned back to the tv, angry that her love wanted to talk about her brother.

"He has a girlfriend."

So?" asked Liz. "Do you honestly think that counts for anything?"

"Hmmm," Angel sighed and turned away. He walked back into the kitchen and opened his books to study. Leaning over to retrieve his pencil from the other side of the table he heard an odd sound coming from upstairs. He couldn't resist investigating. He had always wanted to be a privet eye, with a hat if possible. As he crept up the stairs he heard it again, guitar. Soft and clear music hit him.

"And if I swallow anything evil," Will's voice carried well and Angel found himself smiling, "put your fingers down my throat."

Angel stood listening, smiling, as Will continued to sing. After the song had ended Angel checked that Xander was sleeping. The little boy was curled up and sucking his thumb. Mr. Norbert Buttons, Xander's hippo, had fallen off the edge of the bed. As Angel tucked the stuffed animal back under Xander's arm he sighed. Pushing the kid's dark curls away Angel kissed his forehead. He had no illusions. There was no nice girl in his future. No wife. No children. No family of his own. So he was taking full advantage of being Xander's protector.

"Cute little bugger, isn't he? It's deceiving as all hell. He's a total blighter when he's awake. Ya know he's never kept a sitter for more than a week in the past?" Will spoke softly lounging in the doorway. He had his arms crossed over his chest.

"Really?" asked Angel, "I've been here a month."

"You're different."

A long silence stretched between them as they considered the implications of the statement. Angel stood and walked over to Will, shutting the door behind himself. Leaning against it he said softly, "He's a good kid. He's hard work, no doubt about it, but I like him. I mean, aside from his litany of embarrassing and strange questions, his apparent death wish, and his inexhaustible energy, he's easy to get along with. He's funny and we're on the same intellectual level." Will laughed slightly and Angel smiled, "He's not the one I have trouble with."

"Sorry," Will said looking away. "I've been a bit of a prat."

For a moment Angel was confused and then quickly said, "No, teenage boys never get along when one enters another's territory. Were like cats in that way."

Laughing Will said, "You aren't a teenager."

"Twenty two," shrugged Angel.

"So, what's so hard about Buffy?" Will couldn't help his smirk.

"She has a crush on me and I feel badly but it's really annoying."

"Yeah," Will said slowly, "Xander's three male sitters left 'cause of that." He saw Angel eyes go wide and laughed, "Don't feel special. She jones for a lot of guys. . . pretty much anyone she isn't related to by blood." Angel grimaced, still pitying the girl. "Look, you'll need to address it at some point because she will try and seduce you. It would be best to do it like a Band-Aid. Quick. You have to break a few eggs to make a cake."

"But there's no cake, just a smashed egg."

"The cake is a "relationship"." He put quotes around the word. He had been spending far too much time with his girlfriend, Cordelia. "Let her know that you don't want her before she finds out that you want someone else. That way she feels like you don't want anyone, not that you don't want her."

"That's very," Angel sighed and acted put upon as though it hurt him to say the words, "Wise I suppose."