Chapter 30

Visitor

I can feel the sudden weight of someone with me. I don't know who it is. I can't see the person. My eyes wont focus, but I can feel hands touching me. I can feel I am being moved onto my side and then someone is behind me laying down.

At first I wonder if it is Hotch…but he wouldn't do this. Only one person ever does this. Maybe two people….but I think…I am almost certain this isn't Ardal. I can feel the legs of this other person pressing against me and one arm draping across my chest and the palm of the hand resting on my chest.

It is this….coupled with the gentle kissing on the back of my neck that makes me know. I know….

……………without the shadow of a doubt that this is Floyd. I want to say his name. I want to reach up and touch his hand but the fear that he isn't really there makes my headache and the muscles in my stomach contract and I am afraid that if I reach up for the evidence that it won't be there.

………Nothing more than a dream.

A Wonderful dream….but only that.

So I do what I always do when Floyd lays down behind me like this to comfort and keep me safe….I push back against him…and I hear his sigh and feel the gentle bites and his voice. "Spence." Just a breath of a word but one I have been longing to hear for so long now.

He doesn't say any more to me…He doesn't have to. I close my eyes again and feel asleep in his embrace knowing at last there is a reason to keep going………

……………………………..He will never let me down.

As I drift off I can feel his fingers brushing against my hair and his limbs holding me tight and I don't think I have ever felt this relieved and happy and content in my life….even the pain is drifting away. Though that might have something to do with the morphine.

-o-o-o-

I left before he awoke – but I cut some of my hair off first and wound it around Spencer's fingers. I need him to know it was really me and not a dream. I write him a note…this time a proper one…and one it doesn't matter so much if he never sees…but I write it using the pen hanging off the clipboard and I write using my normal cursive writing.

'Love you Babes.'

I don't need it to say more.

And silently I leave. I go back the way I arrived. I still manage to avoid anyone it matters though I do think I was seen this time…but what the hell? It doesn't matter now. Only one thing matters now.

………………..Hotchner lied to me………………..

I nick a van from the car park. A small black thing – but perfect for what I need.

Needing to arrive without being pulled over I am mindful of stop signs and my speed. Last thing I want now is for them to find Frankie driving around in the area. I have to make plans. I have to get Spence away and make him totally mine. I need to keep him close and never let him from my sight again….

I need to make sure Hotchner never goes near him again. I need to eliminate Hotchner. Slowly.

Pulling up in reverse I park outside the motel room he was in yesterday in hopes that he will still be there. I unlock the rear doors of the van and scan around quickly for anything I might be able to use as a weapon but just end up looking at my hands….and I smile.

Leaving the back doors of the van slightly ajar I walk to Hotchner's door and knock gently.

…………….No need to alarm him…..yet.

Again it opens a crack and I slide my foot into place. "Hotchner. I think we need to talk." I know he carries….I don't know if he is carrying now and so I keep alert and smile.

"We have nothing to talk about." And I can feel the door being presses against my foot as he attempts to close the door.

My hand goes out and I place he palm against the door and tap with my fingernails. "What about your lie? Can we maybe start there?"

"Get away from my door." He spits at me.

And now I lean on in with my shoulder and let my arm drop and reach out to grab the Tshirt he is wearing. "You lied to me. I think we can at least talk about why?"

"I have nothing to tell you. I'm still not telling you where he is. So you may as well leave. You've damaged him enough. He told me what you did. I know what you are Flanders."

So I push harder against the door and it moves open slightly and I can see the alarmed look on his face as I start to force my in to the motel room.

"I know where he is. I've seen him…I've held him….can you smell him on me….smell how much he wanted me?" And I am in the room slamming the door shut with my foot.

He pulls away from me and turns making his way to where I can see his gun resting on the top of the small cupboard next to his bed. "That – That is not going to bother me Hotchner. You gun. Forget it. I'm not bothered by your weapon." But he picks it up and I hear it cock and I walk towards him keeping my eyes on his and off the gun which doesn't scare me.

"Get back!" He says.

But no…..no…..I heard doubt in that voice. "You will kill the man Spencer loves?"

"What?!"

"He is mine Hotchner…he will never be yours." And I wrap my hand around the firearm and take it sharply away from his hand….and he doesn't resist. I think he is mildly surprised that I don't keep it in my hand though….I stand back from him and remove the clip and then toss the two bits to separate parts of the room. "Well Hotchner – that's that problem sorted out…now you are going to be shown exactly how fucking angry I am with you and this pissing system.

"Yours? You abandoned him!"

"Fucking didn't!"

"Where were you when he was bleeding and dying? You were playing your games with another man!" He was trying to distract me with his filthy words and deceptions.

"I was coming to him! I was on my way!" I am walking towards him now. "I was stopped by the fucking cops for speeding!" And I take his arm… "You have no sodding idea what I went through to try to get back to him! I begged them to help." I move and stand with my back against the door. "I asked them to go and check….I knew something was wrong. I asked them…I asked them to go and check on him."

I could see something…something in Hotchner's eyes now…

"You alerted them?"

"Who the hell did you think?"

"Then where were you?"

"I got fucking arrested. I got treated like a mad man….I was hacked at and electrocuted and fuck only knows what!" And I am walking towards him again. "And finally I get back…finally I find my way back to him and you tell me he is dead."

He is backing off….I am walking faster. "Do you have any idea how I felt? I've been in mourning! You fucking bastard! I tried to kill myself I was in so much emotional pain!" And I have this lovely way of smacking brains out…..it's called 'attack with no warning' HAHA!

And my fist makes contact with the side of his head….and in my weakened condition it doesn't stave the side of his head in….I see his hands come up to defend, but the stupid son of a whore isn't fast enough. He staggers sideways and I see him moving for the other gun on the side there….and I leap.

-o-o-o-

It's like a dream when I wake up….I know he has been here….I can still feel him on me….can still feel his arms holding me….I take a deep painless breath and roll onto my back…there is something twisted around my fingers. I hold it up and look at it.

Hair.

Long strands of dark hair.

Hair I would know anywhere and my heart skips a beat and I smile a proper smile for the first time in I don't know how long….and for once I feel maybe everything will be alright.

-o-o-o-

He is on me before I can defend….I've never seen a human who can move with such speed. I am on my back and he is astride me and the language coming from his mouth is not recognisable….the words so obscene the anger in this man is something rare.

"We can talk about this." I grab his wrists which are there ready for attack…. "You need to get off me now."

"Or what Hotchner?" and a twist and a push and the fist is smashing my mouth and no amount of twisting and writhing under this person is going to get him off me.

"This is assault of a Federal Agent. Get off me now while you still have a chance……………………."

-o-o-o-

I hold the hair against my face and I can feel tears trickling down the side of my face. He was here…he had been here with me….The memories were true…I don't know where he is now…but I know he will be back.

"I'm so sorry Floyd….for everything….please come back." I whisper into the lock of hair and kiss it gently. "Please come back for me.

-o-o-o-

A boot to the ribs…

A boot to the head…….he is still trying to get away…I decide to keep up the kicking for now….eventually he will stop…eventually he will….he will have to. My eyes keep glancing over at the bathroom door and I get some happy thoughts racing through my head as this sweatpants and Tshirt clad sonofabitch whore dog tries to crawl away from me.

-o-o-o-

I can't move….I need my gun….I need to get out of here….moving slowly….

And another kick to my head …… it starts to go foggy….and things are slowing down…..

Then nothing.

-o-o-o-

I watch as he slumps like the worthless fuck he is to the floor and then I drag him by his bare feet towards the bathroom. Firstly I let go of him and put the plug in the tub…then I turn on the hot tap…Now back to the scum on the floor….

"No point in this if you're not awake….time to wake up and learn why you don't lie to me."

I take the back of his Tshirt and drag him to the toilet…and pull him up into position.

"You are lucking I haven't decided to fuck you yet you bit of slime."

Head forced down the toilet and then I flush. For a while nothing happens…and I feel slight disappointment that he is going to just flop there and drown….but then it happens…he moves and he struggles…

"Yay Hotchner!" I sound joyful. "You are making my job such fun." And he is pulling and flailing uselessly under my weight as I hold him in place….A quick glance to the tub shows me that it will be ready soon….I can see the steam rising off it and it makes me smile….

Not a small smirk….

But a big tooth filled smile….the sort you only see if I am about to cause a lot of pain on someone.

-o-o-o-

I am trying to work out what happened….I am trying to work out why I am laying on the bathroom floor being stripped by this man….He is not big….he is smaller than me….he is not well muscled….he is average…his face apart from the sores around his nose and mouth is actually pretty and feminine, but as this person whose name has slipped my mind turns me over and starts doing something else I start to move again….I can feel him…probing at me with his fingers….with his mouth…when I try to kick out and get out from under this new attack he moves up my body and sits across the backs of my legs and then grabs my hair…………..

-o-o-o-

The bastard has got a lot of life left in him….

I grab his hair and smack his face on the bathroom floor….He continues to try to move…so I pull his head up and smack it down hard again….and the movement stops…..Oh well…a bit of resistance would have been good….this was too much though….I get into position and hold his hips and with one hand I undo the front of my jeans and the other keeps him in place….

I take his arse.

I don't prepare…I just tear into him…and it feels good….

I sort of think about the syphilis infection I am carrying…but I doubt he will live to have to worry about that….Now my smile is more of a snarl….and I enjoy myself with him….I am finished and giving him my little soldiers just as the water reaches the top of the tub.

Good timing.

I move back and do my jeans back up again then drag him to the scalding water. Not the easiest thing to do….getting Hotchner into the water….but with a tidal wave exiting the tub I manage….I then turn off the water and stand back and watch….

…………..His eyes open and his mouth opens to scream….so I reach over and put my hand on his bare chest and push him under the water. Hands grab my wrists and for a second I am nearly dragged into the water too….but I manage to pull back.

Then I step right back away from the tub and just watch….I watch as he slowly sits up and attempts to pull himself out of the tub…I watch him flail and pull uselessly at the edge of the tub before sliding back down again….

I see the water splashing….I see it's slow down…and I eventually see no movement….and now I step back.

I grab his hair and lift his face above the water and then pull him out…one very red burned mess.

"You will never see Spencer again." I say to him and as he lays gasping for air and life on the floor I kick him a few times then walk to the bedroom… I use his own cuffs to attach him to the bathroom radiator. "Do you have a message you want me to pass onto him?"

"You won't get away with this." He mutters.

"I already have." I tell him. "I screwed you over….That's all I wanted. You tried to take something from me which wasn't yours for the taking. You will never make that error again Hotchner." Then my boots say hello to his groin…and then to his face.

When I leave….about half an hour later you cant really see it is him anymore…Before I go I sit with the bruised form slumped on the floor and have a smoke….this is good…this is how life should be more often.

I finish my smoke and put it out on smooth bit of flesh just below his navel and then I am ready to go. I take my dog end with me….and slip it into my pocket…

Now to go and get Spencer. I'm taking him.

He is mine.

-o-o-o-

I lay in my bed with the little bit of paper in one hand and the hair in the other.

And I wait.