Chapter Two: Pirates Vs. Ninja's
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Captain Jack Sparrow are on their way through the forest to Port Royal to claim back the Black Pearl from the traitors who have once again left Jack stranded. What they don't know is just how much betrayal is really going on at the ship..
"Port Royal ahoy!" Captain Jack Sparrow announced, pointing as they came to the edge of the forest, revealing the large body of water before them. The Black Pearl was at the docks, oddly enough. You'd think since it was a pirate ship they wouldn't put themselves near where they could be taken into custody and hanged. There were people hauling objects aboard the ship, obviously they were stocking up on food and such before taking off. "That's my ship! Mine, MINE!" Jack pouted, stomping his foot and crossing his arms and letting out a loud huff.
Riku looked over, narrowing his eyes slightly at the man, before looking back over at Sora and whispering. "How old is this guy?" The question wasn't in all seriousness, of course. It was merely a joke, and seemed to be a good one at that. Sora was trying hard not to burst into laughter, covering his mouth with a hand and shaking his head as an answer.
It wasn't long before they had set up a plan of action. Sneak on to the ship. It sounded like the perfect plan to all of them. There was nothing complicated about it at all. All they had to do was sneak onto the ship. That's all! It was so simple!
Suddenly a lion walked on up onto the ship. Then a few rats scurried after it. Following them a weasel, a flopping fish, a yellow canary, a cow, a dog with a plant in its mouth, a bat, a fox, a scorpion, a duck and a butterfly. Seconds later, two red foxes rushed after them. Sora and company all stared, wondering what in the world was going on. "Hey, Jack, you didn't warn us that your ship was auditioning for the part of Noah's Ark.." Riku remarked, a smirk curled onto his lips.
Sora leaned over, smacking Riku on the head before motioning at them all. "Come on, this is our chance. Lets sneak on." Sora lifted his keyblade and gave it a wave above the four of them, as if it was a Sailor Moon wand. It acted just as thus, as bright colors surrounded them and they were stripped of their clothes only to shape shift into animal bodies. Hell, they even got little theme music while they waited. Anyways. Riku was transformed into a grey lion, while Kairi was turned into a brown one, and Sora a dark brown color. Each of them all had their hair, too. Think back on TLK level on KH, please. Jack on the other hand, had turned into a shaggy dog, with dreadlocks. Yeah, they totally blended in, cause, you know, all lions and dogs have awesome hair styles.
Somehow they successfully managed to sneak on to the Black Pearl, following the trail of animals on. They followed the group of odd animals down into the ship, where they all gathered down bellow deck. All of them simply stared at each other. There were a few growls, hisses, and chirps, but for the most part things remained calm between the odd assembly of animals. The lion who had gotten on before them all licked his chops, glancing over at the duck and the lion. Immediately the duck scurried over to the weasel, quaking up a storm. The scorpion snapped its claws at the lion, as if telling it to stay in line. The lion recoiled, growling softly as it laid down away from the rest of animals.
There was a jerk, and a feeling of motion as the ship obviously began to move. Yes! That meant Sora was this much closer to getting his mission done! Well, they had to take action first. What was with these animals too? They were odd-looking, and seemed to be glaring at Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Jack. They were being shunned! "Uhm..hi?" Sora offered, tilting his head at the odd group of animals. In response, he got a growl from the fox, its ears pinning against its skull tightly as it took in front of the other animals. Wow. Did the fox think it was tough shit? Honestly, Sora could have just stepped on it and it would be put out of its misery.
There was a bark, followed by a growl, and Sora turned to see what was going on. The dog from the weird group of animals had approached Jack, and taken a dreadlock in its mouth. Then it began to tug on the dreadlock, causing Jack to growl loudly and begin to mutter a string of curses at the dog. "Bad dog, bad! Bad boy!" Jack hissed at the dog, who immediately dropped the dreadlock and whined after the words were spat at him. "Good boy.." Jack muttered, eyeing the dog carefully. Immediately the dog began wagging its tail, thumping it against the ground loudly.
The fox moved, picking up the flopping fish and putting in a bucket full of water. The fish immediately rejoiced, and began to do circles around the edges of the bucket. The plant on the other hand, the dog seemed to have found a puddle and dumped it half in it so its roots were in the water. That thing was not going to be alive much longer. The bat suddenly fluttered up from the ground, flying up and taking a perch on the cows back. Then it bit into the neck of the cow, which seemed to take no notice, ignoring the creature as it sucked away at its blood. Sora and company were officially confused. These animals were not, could not, be normal.
Suddenly there noise headed down towards where all the animals were. A few seconds later and a girl appeared, Jack automatically hissing out, "Elizabeth!"
The girl turned, staring at all the animals, giving them all a weird look. "Right…I'm just going to act like I don't see all of you.." She spoke, talking to herself as she tightened the grip on a bundle of clothes in her arms. "He was supposed to meet me down here.." She mumbled, narrowing her eyes. "Bastard. Men. I swear." Suddenly there was a soft popping noise, which followed up by another, and another, and another. You get the picture.
Sora and company all stared in disbelief, as the little white cloud that had appeared around all the animals disappeared, revealing a group of guys in weird cloaks. Well there was one girl..two girls? The group all got up, brushing themselves off. Kisame plucked the bucket off of his head, chuckling softly.
Sasuke immediately moved towards Elizabeth, reaching out and snatching the bundle of clothes from her. "My pirate clothes, I hope?" He questioned, eyeing the girl with narrowed dark eyes.
"Of course, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke investigated the clothing, before nodding in approval and pointing over at Sasori. "Have at it, Elizabeth. I promised you him, he's all yours."
"HEY NOW! What?!" Sasori exclaimed, pointing at the younger Uchiha. "When did this happen!? I'm not some whore you give up for payment for your stupid ass pirate clothes!" He complained.
Elizabeth was already moving in, though, reaching out to grab the males hand.
Her hand was suddenly smacked away, as Deidara moved in and protected Sasori. "You aren't taking Sasori Danna anywhere, hn!" The blonde huffed.
Elizabeth recoiled, glaring at the blonde. "Oh come off, you pmsing bitch, I earned him fair and square!"
Pain suddenly interrupted it all, "HEY! I'm leader, what I say goes! Sasuke, you can't just give up my minions!" He complained, pointing at Itachi next. "Keep your damn brother in line!"
"But you're the leader, isn't that your job?" The Older Uchiha replied, only to get smacked by Pain.
Suddenly a new person walked into the room, none other than Roxas himself. He carried clothing in his arms as he quickly made a beeline for Sasuke. Popular, isn't he? "Here you go, Sasuke, just as promised." He said, giving the bundle of clothing to the Uchiha.
Sasuke took them, inspected, and gave a nod of his head. "Good." He then pointed over at Konan, "She's all yours."
Konan immediately lunged towards the boy, only to get held back by Pain. "OH COME ON! IM GOING TO KICK HIS ASS!" The blue haired girl screamed, as her skin began to peel off into pieces of paper.
"Shit!" Pain hissed.
Sasuke immediately gave the girl his typical cocky smirk. "Come on, Paper-Girl. I dare you."
"Konan, unless you want to get turned into dust and ashes, I really don't think you want to do that.." Pain muttered, holding on to what was left of the girls body that hadn't peeled into paper. The girl seemed to take this into consideration, and took a step back away from Sasuke.
"Fucker."
Itachi took the moment to chuckle, slipping an arm around his younger brothers shoulders. "So, I see you've learned the art of working both genders.."
Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Jack had enough, transforming themselves back into their human forms, immediately catching the attention of the large bickering group. "Roxas! I thought you were.." Sora started, giving the boy a confused look. Suddenly Deidara lunged at Elizabeth, who in turn took off running up towards the deck of the ship. Naturally, the rest of the Akatsuki all raced after so they could stop Deidara, as well as stop Konan who seemed to be taking the opportunity to try and take out Sasuke in the chaos. Jack followed; planning to save Elizabeth, then throttle her for dealing with Ninjas and being a typical untrustworthy pirate. Sora, Riku, and Kairi all followed as well.
As soon as they were on deck, Sasuke grabbed on to Roxas, pulling him in front of him as a shield between himself and Konan. There was a blur of red as a person jumped in and gave Sasuke a harsh shove, pushing him away from Roxas. "Don't lay a hand on Roxas!"
The younger Uchiha gained his footing, glaring at the new male, sharingan spinning as he eyed the unknown male. "Who the fuck are you?" He demanded of the male.
"Ohh, so you want to fight? Fight fight fight..alrighttt. My names Axel, got it memorized?" He answered, as huge chakrams appeared in his hands, his arms swaying as he waited for the other male to attack.
"Axel? What the hell? Weren't you dead?" Sora asked, interrupting the two males. Axel glanced over, shrugging his shoulders and not even giving him an answer.
"I like to make flashy exists, what can I say?"
Deidara suddenly interrupted as well, "Flashy is good, un!"
Suddenly, Axel tossed one of his chakrams at the younger Uchiha. Two people rushed in, right inbetween the flying chakram and Sasuke, blocking the attack. There was a soft pop as the person hit by the chakram disappeared, a mere shadow clone.
"IM HERE TO SAVE SASUKE, BELIEVE IT!" The blonde haired boy shrieked, pointing at Axel.
From behind him, Sasuke groaned and rubbed his temples. "Moron.."
Axel flushed with anger, catching his chakram as it flew back to him. "I'm going to kick that guys ass for touching Roxas! Got it memorized, kid?" He hissed at Naruto.
"And I'm going to protect Sasuke! Believe it!" He answered, pointing to himself.
"Now come on, I'll kick your ass! Believe it!"
"Memorize this, kid! I don't have to believe anything! Got it memorized?"
"I'll make you believe it, believe it!"
"Your line sucks! Memorize that!"
"Memorizing is boring, believe it!"
"You'll forget if you don't memorize things, baka!"
"You can't go through life without believing in things!"
A hand suddenly flew out of nowhere, slapping Naruto upside the head. Then it delivered the same treatment to Axel. There was a sigh of relief from the groups who had been waiting for it to end.
"THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AMERICAN'S TAKE THINGS THAT AREN'T THEIRS!" The older Naruto screamed, folding his arms as he watched the younger Naruto rub his head.
"Owww, I'm mean when I'm olderrrr.."
"I'm going to kick your ass, got it m—"
"Yeah, got it, threat taken. No line needed. I have a perfectly fine memory, thank you very much." The older Naruto interrupted, cutting off Axel.
The commotion seemed to catch the rest of the crew's attention, as a mister William Turner appeared, walking towards the arguing mass of people. "I thought we got rid of Davey Jones's henchmen?" He asked, pointing at Kisame, and then towards Zetsu.
Jack scratched his chin, thinking to himself. "I thought they looked familiar.."
The orange masked Akatsuki member suddenly piped in, tilting his head. "Gravy bones?"
William looked over, and simply stared at the masked guy, deciding that an answer wasn't even worth it.
A few other pirates had now gathered, inspecting all the newcomers on the ship. One pointed at Deidara, along with the black cloaked guy with pink hair standing close by with a bunch of other black cloaked figures. "There be females aboard the ship! Bad luck!" He exclaimed.
Deidara lunged at the male.
Marluxia lunged as well, grabbed by hood of his cloak by Axel.
Larxene stomped her foot, "IM THE GIRL GOD DAMNIT!"
Deidara looked over, pointed, and laughed. "I would have never known with that hairstyle! By any chance, is your favorite movie Bugs Life?"
The entire Akatsuki howled with laughter.
Hiruko's tail suddenly slammed down on top of the pirate that had spoken up. The pirate was officially no more.
"Sasori, that was uncalled for." Pain snapped at the puppet-master.
"I know."
A loud explosion filled the air, and then the boat shook. Pirates scrambled, screaming in chaos.
"DEIDARA THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR TOO!" Pain screamed, glaring at the bomber.
Deidara threw up his arms in defense. "I didn't do it, un!"
"He didn't. I was watching him." Sasori defended.
"PIRATES AHOY! WE BE UNDER ATTACK, CAPTAIN!" A pirate yelled, pointing at a ship close by. Somehow it had snuck up, or something, because the idiot pirates didn't see it until now.
Jack automatically raced to the side of the boat, peering out at the ship. "Who dares attack my pearl!"
"WHERES PETER PAN!" A voice screamed.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Was that a clock? Where was it coming from?
"SMEE! Am I safe?!"
"Y-y-yes, captain! S-she's in the water. Y-you're safe!" The short man stuttered out.
Xigbar had ditched his black cloak, and was running around as if he was a pirate, shouting orders and such. "Argghh, who be you!?"
Xemnas reached over, grabbing the man. "What the fuck, Xigbar?! Where's your cloak!?"
"ARGGH! I'm a pirate, Xemnas!!"
A group of young kids dressed in animal-like-outfits suddenly raced across the deck. "Peter! We're safe!" They all shouted, rushing to the edge of the ship and peering down at the water.
The mermaids had followed them too, stalking after them to get their chance to kill off Wendy. They hated Wendy so much.
Ariel didn't recognize these mermaids, so she came to greet them, and find out where they came from! Little did she know, that there was someone after her..
Davey Jones suddenly appeared, in all his tentacle-ness.
"Didn't we fucking kill you!?" Will shouted, pointing at Davey Jones.
"ARGHH. ITS TO DAVEY JONES LOCKER BE YOU GOING!" Jones shouted, pointing at Captain Hook. "THE KRAKENNN! SHE APPROACHES!"
That eerie theme song started playing, out of nowhere.
"IM IN CHARGE OF DAVY JONES'S LOCKER NOW!" Will huffed, stomping his foot like a three year old.
"Honestly, Will.."
"You really play all sides, don't you, Elizabeth? Whore." Jack spat, glaring at the girl.
Suddenly Ariel screamed, along with the other mermaids, all being sucked up from the depths by the Kraken.
"See, if you didn't take her wife the squid and put her at some black lake, the Kraken wouldn't be pissed off, Jones!" Will shouted, glaring at the other man.
"The kids at Hogwarts loved my gift!"
"DAVIIEEE! TIME FOR DINNER, STOP PLAYING PIRATES AND GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE BEFORE IT GETS COLD!" A voice erupted. None other than Ursula.
"MOTHER YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!"
"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE."
Kovu, the lion from earlier, suddenly appeared, laughing at Jones. "Momma's little boyyyy, aren't you?" He teased.
"KOVU! WHAT DID THE KING TELL YOU ABOUT LEAVING THE PRIDELANDS?!" Zazu suddenly appeared, scolding the lion as he fluttered around his head.
Mumbling, Jones jumped off the ship and disappeared into the depths of the ocean to eat dinner.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybeee some of these pirates would want to skin you and sell you on the black market, Kovu?"
No answer.
Hercules suddenly appeared, wearing Scar's pelt. "I could always use another.." He said, eyeing the lion.
Scar suddenly stalked up, causing the hero to scream.
"I thought I killed you!?"
"Apparently nobody permanently dies, do they?" Sora mumbled from the sidelines.
"Memorize that."
"Believe it!"
"I'm a cat, I have nine-lives." Scar finally answered, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
At this point, the Akatsuki and Organization 13 turned to each other, mumbling a few things back and forth.
"You guys want to..maybe show us around or something?"
"We could share tips on hair care..and eyeliner tips.."
Continuing to mumble things, the two large cloaked groups turned and suddenly poofed, off to have their own little adventures..
I didn't mean for this to be so long..but..eh. 8 pages of funny. Adventures of Akatsuki and Org 13 to come in a separate fic, so look out for that one as well as updates to this one..