Title: The Babysitter

Author: Azure K Mello

Part: 15?

Pairing: Angel/Spike

Rated: R

Type: AU

Summery: A glimpse into Will's past.

Thank you to snowpuppies for the plot bunny inspired by On the Other Side. I still want a happy ending damn it!

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS.

Will walked slowly up the stairs endeavoring not to spill the hot drink on himself. His back pocket began to vibrate. "Oz, can't you wait five bloody minutes?" Will asked speaking to the person he believed was calling his mobile.

Pausing on the stairs he studied all the photographs on the wall and his eyes paused over the one of the dead girl. It showed Xander, two hours old, being held by a dark haired young woman. Will was smiling at the camera from over her shoulder. Drusilla looked so beautiful and young in the picture. Of course, Will reflected, it was sort of impossible for a slayer to look anything but young. She looked happy and so did he. They hadn't known then that she would be dead within months of the photo being taken. Slayers never lived long and Drusilla had been no exception.

"I miss you, Dru," he said softly, "and I can't lose another person I love to the fucking vampires. What if he got turned? What if I had to watch him get turned? The way I watched you?" He sniffed hard, trying not to cry in front of his dead girlfriend. "How do I stop loving him? I can't love him, Dru. I'm not strong enough." He felt ill and ashamed of his weaknesses. Watcher shouldn't be weak? What would his godfather, Roger Wyndham-Pryce, think? He had been trying to get Will's father to send him to the Watcher's Academy. But then the council had learned about his dating Drusilla and had been furious.

Watchers should never date slayers, even if the watcher was only a watcher-in-training. After that Roger had stopped pressing Rupert to send Will to the academy. And then, well, with everything that happened after Dru's death Roger had pretty much cut the Giles' out of his life. However, Rupert Giles was still the best watcher on the council and so he was going to be watching the next slayer. The hypocrisy was laughable: no one would have the Giles to dinner but they would let the protector of the world live with them.

He continued up the stairs on shaky legs. He unlocked his door swiftly and relocked it behind himself before sinking on to his bed. The hot chocolate was now tepid chocolate which he gulped down. The warm liquid soothed his throat, rough with unshed tears. The comforting drink made him feel slightly better.

Slowly pulling his phone out he thought to check his messages and see what Oz wanted. A smile settled over his face as he listened to Angel's words. Angel was a good man. And maybe, just maybe, when he told the college boy the truth he would still be able to look him in the eye. He had no delusions about Angel telling him that they could still be together. He knew the older boy would want nothing to do with him once Angel knew about Will's past. But maybe they could be friends. Maybe Angel wouldn't shrink away in disgust if their hands bumped.

His parents were going to LA the next day and returning Thursday. His mother had an artist and dealer convention to go to and his father had some meetings with Council members. Angel was going to stay over to take care of Liz and Xander. That's when he would explain, once the kids were in bed he would tell Angel about Drusilla, and. . . and everything else. But at that moment he just wanted to call Angel and thank him, he wanted to pretend to have a boyfriend, if only for tonight. He knew that it cost Angel to not go out and he was touched by the action.

Still smiling he listened to Angel's phone ring. But the smile fall off his face when he heard a woman's voice pick up the other end. "Hello?"

"Hi, Willow? This is Will- Angel's friend. Sorry to call so late. Is, is Angel still up?"

Willow heard the slight stutter and felt guilty for be the reason for the boy's nervousness. "Yeah, I'll go get him for you. Don't worry about the time we're all night owls here. This morning, I wasn't angry at you. I wasn't even angry. I was just being bitchy with Angel and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I just get a little overzealous when it comes to academics. I'm sorry." He heard her knocking on wood. "Angel? Will's on the phone."

"Hey," he said as he took the phone off his best friend.

"Thank you," said Will softly.

He could almost see Angel's smirk as the darker boy said, "Well, I figured I could take a night off: for you."

"I know that you must think I'm a total nutter. But I'll explain meself tomorrow. Ok?"

Angel nodded but remembered that Will couldn't see him, "Alright," he said finally.

"Ok, well," there was a slightly awkward pause, "good luck on your test. And sleep well, Angel."

"G'night, Will."

When he finally called Oz the redhead had been irritated. He wanted to know where Will had been all day. But when Will told his friend about Angel and the beach Oz went quiet. Quiet even by Oz's standards. He told Will they were having a band practice the next day. But the conversation left the blond confused as the session had been set up for days. Oz hung up quickly.

Will knew he wouldn't get any sort of an explanation until he actually saw the boy in the flesh. And sadly, that flesh would not be seen until after school. Oz was a college kid at SU, so Will wouldn't be able to talk to him during the day. Sometimes, Will hated that one of his two friends didn't go to his school.

As he sat across from her in Pierre's he couldn't stop the smile from appearing on his face. Pierre's was one of Sunnydale's nicer restaurants and they had been there many times. "Why are you smiling?" asked Cordelia, pulling him out of his reverie.

"Just thinking. Remember when we first came here and I managed to spill water everywhere? Christ, I was so nervous." He laughed.

She laughed too but shook her head slowly, "Nuh-uh, Mister, you aren't allowed to do the tender remembering thing. You did the dumping so you have to do the guilty party act."

"Is that what the book on dating etiquette says?" he asked taking a small sip of water.

"It's what I say."

"Well then I'm sure the book says it too. You practically wrote it."

"I'm not sure if I'm meant to be insulted," she said leaning back in her chair, farther away from her ex. "One of us needed to know what they were doing! We can't all be naïve innocence embodied! I mean you're the oh-so-jaded rocker and yet I had to nurse you along! Now you're gonna say that it's all some sort of a formula?"

"Tha's not what I meant, Cor. You're just so good at all of this. And as you say: I'm a total loser."

"No you aren't," she said softly, "I don't wanna fight, Will."

"I don't either. You're my friend."

"I. . . I just don't get it. I don't get why we broke up, Will. Maybe you could. . . explain?" she let her words trail off.

When he opened his mouth Will had no idea what he was going to say. No one was more shocked than he when he said, "Cordelia, I think I'm bent."

Cordelia studied her ex as she sipped her diet coke and finally spoke softly, "I know about Larry. But I also know about Dru and Cecily. So you're just kinda bent. Right?"

"How did you know about Larry?" Will could feel his face burning.

"Oh, Will," she reached out and took his hand, "Everyone knows about Larry. He thought it was funny."

"Oh. . . well," he paused, stunned at the revelation, "Um. . . yeah. I think I'm totally bent."

"But what about Dru? And Cecily? And, hey, let's not forget me!"

He smiled slightly, still numbed knowing that everyone knew about Larry, "Drusilla was perfection and I was very young. Cecily was the most shallow, vapid, and feminine girl I've ever met. She was my last ditch attempt at straitness."

Cordelia interrupted, "Well if she was your last attempt what the hell were we? What am I?"

Another smile settled on his mouth; a happier one. "You're my best mate: the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was a complete train wreak when we met. She'd been dead for 22 months and I was still counting it in days. But you made me so happy. I mean, after everything, after having to leave England because I disgraced my family; you made me laugh again. You made it ok for me to not hate everything including meself. And I mistook my adoration to be something else. Not something stronger than what I feel for you. Just different," he shrugged. "What I feel for you is the deepest of affections not love. I just wish I had seen that before we started dating." She hit his arm, hard. "Ow!"

"You jerk! I was so worried about that stupid picnic and it really was for Angel!" she sounded so relieved, "-Were you cheating on me?" The question was tacked on as it occurred to her.

"Never. No! You know I wouldn't do that."

She laughed, sounding lighter now, "God! I've been obsessing over why we broke up. I was trying to figure out what I'd done wrong or if there was another girl. But you're gay!"

She sounded so happy and Will was so relieved that he didn't even mind how loudly she said it. And he was totally serious when he said, "They have that whole thing about nature and nurture, I don't know. But, if anyone could have straightened me out it would have been you: you're my girl, Cor." Cordelia beamed at him as he signaled to the waiter for the cheque.