Title: The Babysitter

Author: Azure K Mello

Part: 31/36

Pairing: Angel/Spike

Rated: Adult

Type: AU

Summery: Will makes good first impressions but it takes a lot out of him.

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS

Note: a friend once said that he didn't go to church while in Iran because God does not speak with an American accent.

Long after the rest of the family had gone they sat in the living room. They played with their dreidels, ate gilt, more sweets, Angel started eating latkes and cold brisket. They talked about what had been going on since they last saw one another. The Rosenbergs asked Will all about himself. He was polite and genial although he answered slightly evasively. They had come because of his father's job, he loved America, he liked school.

Willow kept trying to guess her theme. That confused Will and he asked, "Does Hanukah always have a theme?"

"Well," said Willow, "let's say you're a guitar play lyricist for instance. On Christmas you might get new strings, a tuner, blank music sheets, a nice pen, and the big present will be a new guitar. Hanukah is like that over eight days. It might not be themed just like you might get random things for Christmas but it builds to the crowning jewel."

"I've been thinking about my theme," said Angel. "What if it's not art? The brushes are all parts of animals. What if, for the last day, I get a cat that's been to a taxidermist?"

"If you do can we call it Morris and leave it in the living room to shock people?" asked Willow.

"Absolutely. We can hold conversations with it."

As they were walked out Sheila hugged them all, Ira shook Will's hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Will."

"Thank you again for having me, especially on such short notice. This was the best first Hanukah anyone could have."

"Well this party goes on for seven days, it will just be us after this. But you're more than welcome," said Shelia.

"That's very kind of you but I haven't eaten at home for a few days and my parents might start to worry." It was said lightly but Angel saw the way Spike was rubbing his inner elbow.

In the car they talked about how nice the evening was, what a relief it was that school was about to end, what they would do with their breaks.

After a while Willow said, "They liked you."

Will smiled as he rammed the car into third, "I'm good at first impressions so long as I have a little while to prepare." He caught a glimpse on himself in the rearview mirror. His face looked very naked, almost indecent. He didn't like the sensation at all. But he'd been perfect tonight. He had yet again worn a mask, only this time it was a polite laidback young man. Shelia and Ira had liked that young man. While he had enjoyed himself immensely he felt ragged.

"I thought you quit the band?" asked Angel.

"I did and then Oz told them that I quit and Gunn and Wes conference called me. Wes was very English, kept shouting about it not being cricket and Oz having queered the pitch, he was very head boy about the whole thing. And Gunn was silent until he announced that there would be no practice tonight and that we should meet for breakfast tomorrow and think about our next step. They called me again later; Oz didn't want us to have the name. Gunn pointed out that you could still call the cops. So the last three members of Dingoes are having breakfast."

Pulling up in front of the apartment Will brought the car to a coasting stop. Willow opened the back door saying, "Thanks for driving, Will. Angel get's funny behind the wheel. I'm glad you came."

"Happy Hanukah, Willow," he replied.

"Do you want to come up?" He shook his head, "Well then, goodnight. See you upstairs," she said to Angel and left them alone.

Angel said softly, "You alright? You look tired."

"I'm exhausted."

"You got up at twelve."

"I was also on best behavior all night."

"You didn't need to be. They would have liked you anyway. Besides, it wouldn't matter if they didn't. Who cares?"

"They're your family, Liam."

Angel liked that Will only use his name when they were alone, it was almost like a secret. "Yeah, but it wouldn't have changed anything." Will rubbed his face then looked at his hands. Angel saw the way Will studied his fingers as though shocked by the lack make up and said softly. , "I love you, so no matter what they would have liked you. You don't need to please them. This was supposed to be a night off."

"I wanted them to like me I didn't want you to have to justify yourself to them."

Angel pulled Will away from the wheel and kissed him demandingly. "Thank you. But it wasn't necessary. You're mine and it wouldn't have changed. If you meet them again you should just be yourself. You even took off your nail polish." He held Will's hand and gently ran his fingers over the nails. "You should be comfortable."

"Liam?"

"Yes."

"Christmas is two after Hanukah finishes. Would you like to come? No pressure, I know you have Christmas with the Rosenbergs. You don't need to bring presents or anything. Just come hang out and eat?"

"When does it start?"

"Ten thirty the night before? You can just come when you like. We get tipsy and go to midnight mass Christmas Eve."

"You get drunk and go to church? On a Sunday night?"

"It's Episcopalian, not real church. If they had a vicar and sang the hymns to the right tunes we would go sober. As it is? Well, God doesn't speak with an American accent. But it's still nice to sing all the songs, even if they're to the wrong music. Do you feel like that when you go to church? It's Roman Catholic as opposed to Irish Catholic."

"I don't go to church anymore."

"Because it's all wrong?"

"No, I don't believe in God."

"Well neither do I."

"But if it was Church of England you would go sober? 'God doesn't speak with an American accent'?"

"Well, He doesn't speak at all. But should someone pretend to believe in Him they should have the decency to do it correctly. It's the ceremony that's comforting. That's what makes it feel like Christmas. How could anyone who has seen what's in the dark believe in a beneficent overseer? But it's still the best way to kick off Christmas."

"You do realize that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of God's son?"

"It's a bank holiday back home. Why waste it? Besides, in the CofE we only have to believe in human kindness and the fact that canned food drives could save the world if enough people participated. If you believe that you get rewarded with Christmas."

"So what time does this party start?"

"Um? Seven on Sunday night and it goes to about ten on Tuesday night? We don't do the whole twelve days. But dinner on Christmas Day is at eight."

"Can I do the submersion course?"

Will smiled, "Are you sure? Mum's parents are coming. They'll want to know everything about you."

"I can cope, I'm good at making first impressions," he mimicked.

"I make a world class first impression."

"You do," agreed Angel. "I, on the other hand, make a lukewarm first impression. Your mother thought I was dim when we first met. Plus you thought I was a git."

"Actually, I thought you were a pontificating, bombastic, cocky prat. Which shows how much better your later impressions are. So, being present for three days might make you look really good."

Angel laughed. "What should I buy Faith?"

"You don't need to buy anyone anything."

"No, I have presents for everyone save her. I can't turn up with something for everyone else and not have something for her. I don't want to get her a weapon."

"She loves bed sheets. Her bed is a full size. Her favorite colors are black, purple, and green."

"Thank you. You won't come up?"

"I need to paint my nails and do my face before I sit down to curfew cocoa with my parents."

"You have curfew cocoa even when you're in prior to curfew?"

"I was addicted to heroin by the time I was fourteen."

"But you don't call when you stay out."

"Well, it would be uncool to call home." He tried to think how to explain it and said, "They're not keeping tabs on me, I can go out for the night. They don't think I'm going to start being an idiot again. I don't have a drug addict's predilection. I smoke, it's my only addiction. I didn't become a junkie because of stupidity… I mean, I was an idiot but… I watched Drusilla… the only way I could not break was to be out of my skull. Heroin never felt good to me, it just made other things less important. Xander was less than two months old when Dru was turned. My parents were grieving and had a new baby. I had the opportunity to really be stupid because they had too much on their plates to notice. They thought I was nervy and grieving. But I didn't have to grieve. I was just off my arse.

"Rehab sucked. I was not only coming down but I had all this time to think about Dru and I wasn't allowed to see my family. All I had was caffeine and nicotine to help me cope. I didn't see Xander for three months when he was a baby. We had to move away because the Council thought it best, most of my friends hated me, Liz's friend's parents didn't want them at our house, and my paternal grandmother wouldn't speak to me and she blamed Da and said that a Giles should have his son better trained.

"My parents know that I'm never going to do heroin again. They aren't worried about that. I think they worry, because I got hooked in the first place. I was good at hiding it and they weren't looking for it. So now, they want to see me, sit and talk every night when I'm home to make sure I'm okay. They don't want me to fall apart. It's been over three and a half years since she died and I've been clean for almost two and a half years. But that's not very long. And we've been living here for two years… it's all still fresh. So we have cocoa. Which might seem sort of lame." He shrugged.

"That's not lame. You're seventeen and they're your parents."

"But, Liam, I mean-"

"I was ten, and I didn't see it, and Ira and Shelia were instantly there. It was twelve years ago. You think we didn't have our own cocoa ritual? Ira and I went to the movies every Thursday, Shelia and I went out to breakfast on Monday, Wednesday was family game night, and in high school, unless we had a date, we had to be home for dinner. We could go out with friends before or afterwards but we had to be home for the meal. And that wasn't because of Willow." Angel looked at his watch and sighed, "You have to go home if you want to change before cocoa."