A/N: Song by Jimmy Eat World. Again.

House closed his eyes.

He opened them.

Nothing happened. Nothing new happened. That wasn't fair. It wasn't possible. Couldn't something just happen? Could God just smite him and have it be done with? Couldn't something else happen so they all wouldn't have to linger on Amber's death?

Well, you're just across the street;
Looks a mile to my feet;
I wanna go to you.

He knew it wasn't really his fault. Not really. But what Wilson said…that chilled him to the bone. It wasn't fair. Just because she had to go and die…he was right when he nicknamed her Cutthroat Bitch.

And he wanted to apologize. But even more than that. He needed to tell Wilson how he hurt. How he felt, because he did have feelings and it wasn't all an act. House wanted to show Wilson everything.

But Wilson wouldn't let him.

Funny how I'm nervous still,
I've always been the easy kill;
I guess I always will.

Wilson always knew what to do. House would never tell anyone, but he relied on Jimmy more than he'd ever relied on anyone. He trusted him. That was special…or at least, House had thought it was. Now he realized Wilson was capable of dropping it, and that hurt.

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance,
Chance,
Chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be,
Be?
You kill me you always know the perfect thing to say,
Hey hey,
Hey hey.
I know what I should do but I just,
Can't walk,
Away.

He knew he had to leave Wilson alone. His friend needed time alone. But House didn't want to be alone, either. And no matter he chose, he'd be alone. He'd have been ditched.

Wilson was just like his dad.

I can picture your face well,
From the bar in my hotel.
I wish I'd go to you.
I pick up, put down the phone.
Like your favorite Heatmiser song goes,
It's just like being alone.

But he had worked so hard, so damn HARD! He had tried to make it up to him. He had said sorry! That wasn't worth anything?

Amber wasn't worth anything?

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain,
Vain.
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means,
Means.
You kill me, you've got some nerve but can't face your mistakes,
Hey hey,
Hey hey.
I know what I should do but I just, Can't turn…Away,
Away,
Away.

House knew what he should do. He knew he should leave Wilson to leave New Jersey. He shouldn't do anything to harm that. It was Wilson's choice. He couldn't change anything. He shouldn't even try.

So go on, love,
Leave while there's still hope for escape.
You gotta take what you can these days;
There's so much ahead and,
So much regret.
I know what you wanna say,
I know what you wanna say,
I know it, but can't help feeling differently,
I loved you,
And I should have said it,
But tell me, just what has it ever meant?

House knew what he was supposed to do.

I can't help it baby, this is who I am,
Am.
I'm sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel,
Feel.
You kill me, you build me up,
But just to watch me break.
Hey hey,
Hey hey.
I know what I should do but I just,
Can't walk…Away…

But House never did what he was supposed to.