Chapter 4: Hangover

"Hey Vaati, when are we leaving? We can't waste too much time," Link asked the mage the next morning. Vaati had his head over the ship's railings miserably, in no mood to talk. Link propped his arms against the bars and looked at the mage who was a bit green in the face. He tried a different line of conversation. "Captain? What are your orders for the crew?"

Vaati looked up and then held his head as the sudden movement reignited a headache. He forced himself to look at the horizon, but it didn't make him feel any better. "What do you call those white things that fly in the sky?" he finally mumbled.

Link was baffled. "You mean seagulls?"

Vaati put a declaratory finger skyward. "That's right. Go tell those gullseas that they should go fetch a sail."

"You're still drunk."

"I'm perfectly sober." The sorcerer's eyes were a bit bloodshot.

Link held up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Don't take me for an idiot, Link. Any fool would know you have ten fingers," Vaati snapped.

Link rested his head against his hand. "All right. How many glasses did you have last night?"

"I lost count after eleven."

"Figures," Link said to himself. He glanced at the line of pirates who also had their heads over the side of the ship, suffering from a hangover. Oh well, it looked like they weren't going to be leaving for a while. He sighed and went back to the cabin to find Niko as Vaati recommenced hanging over the side.

He found Niko chasing after a rat in the storage room. The rat scrambled between the crates and ran through a crack where Niko couldn't reach it. Niko cursed, and then noticed Link waiting for him to finish. "Ahoy there, swabbie! Are we leaving yet?"

Link sat down on top of a crate. "Probably not. Everyone's not feeling well. I really wanted to get going today." He tapped the side of the crate. "What was Vaati thinking? I thought he didn't want to waste time."

"So the evil Captain's out sick?" the little pirate mused.

"Yeah. He's out pretty bad."

"Hmmm," Niko appeared lost in thought. "That means no one's in charge, right?"

Link scratched his head. "I suppose you can say that."

"No one, right? Not even Zuko?"

"I think Zuko was in the crow's nest…but yeah. He was out too."

Niko smiled and nodded his head, satisfied. "Good, good. You said you wanted to get going today, swabbie?"

Link jumped up, excited as he understood what Niko was thinking. "Yeah! I'll bring the sails down."

Niko put a hand on Link's shoulder and cleared his throat, giving him a look of warning. "Eh eh EHEM. Today, swabbie, you'll call me Captain Niko! Now go and ready the sails!"

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After a bit of tugging on the ropes and some climbing, Link was able to lower the masts. Niko seemed ecstatic that he was at the highest rank for once, even though all of his crew was in a world of woe. The buck-toothed pirate brought over a box to stand on so he could see above the steering wheel. "All right, swabbie! Where are we going?"

"I have no idea," Link said honestly as he shrugged his shoulders.

Niko frowned. "I was mistaken to ask you and your lowly swabbie brain." Link rolled his eyes; he wondered whether a little bit of power caused people to be like Vaati.

"Where did you find the Helmaroc King last time?"

"Ah, in the Forsaken Fortress, of course. Captain Niko saw it with his own eyes once, swabbie!" Niko spread his arms wide to emphasize the impressive size of the fortress. "It was a crazy place, swabbie, steel walls and cannons surrounding the entire thing! And monsters were lurking everywhere! No one but Captain Niko and his crew ever saw it and returned alive."

"Ok. We're going there," Link pointed out.

Niko whirled around. "What?" Then his face fell. "Wait but um…maybe the bird isn't there this time."

"It's the only place we can think of right now. Let's go."

Niko gripped the steering wheel tightly, and then he smiled as he remembered something. "Actually, the place wasn't that bad. There were survivors other than us, swabbie, don't worry. And I heard the monsters were pretty dim."

"You just contradicted your previous story."

"Swabbie! Call me Captain, and I was just trying to make the story exciting. Sheesh." Niko held his head high, causing Link to sigh and shake his head. The new captain pointed to the horizon. "Anchors aweigh!!"

Nothing happened. Niko looked around for someone to pull up the anchor. Seeing everyone else was out, he turned to Link again. "Didn't you hear me? I said anchors aweigh!"

"Yes Vaati," Link said grudgingly as he went over to pull up the anchor. Even with the anchor up, the ship was unresponsive. The only change was a slight shift to the side.

"What's the matter swabbie? We're not moving anywhere!" Niko called over. A breeze blew in his face.

Link licked his thumb and raised it above his head. Then he looked up at the sails that were bent in the wrong direction. "Uh…Niko? I think we're going to have to wait for the wind to change." Niko watched the sail bend inwards towards Windfall Island, and then shot an uncertain glance at the groaning sorcerer. Link followed his gaze. "Or we can wake him up. Watch out Niko, he won't be happy."

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Link cautiously approached Vaati who had barely moved from the last time he had left him. "Vaati? Are you sober yet?"

He heard a muffled voice from over the side of the ship. "I wasn't drunk to begin with…fool."

"Very true," Link agreed, stifling a laugh, "how are you feeling?"

Vaati heaved himself up and glared at Link. "Oh, I'm feeling just peachy right now, can't you tell?" he said sarcastically.

Link picked his next words carefully so he would get as much cooperation as possible. "Captain? Niko and I are taking care of the ship under your orders, but the wind is blowing in the wrong direction. Can you use the Wind Waker to change it?"

The sorcerer grunted something and flipped the baton a couple of times, causing the wind to gently persuade the ship to start moving out to sea. "Now just go leave me alone." Vaati flopped back to his original position like a soggy towel.

"To the Forsaken Fortress! Swabbies, get me a map!" Niko's squeaky high voice rang from behind the wheel. Vaati hissed.

"Link, shut that fool up before I go there myself and make sure he never speaks again."

Link hurried over to Niko who was barking orders to the rest of the crew, enjoying every minute of being the captain. "Niko! Don't push it, everyone's going to be upset with you later." he poked a thumb towards Vaati who was slowly tottering to his feet.

"Don't worry, my swabbie! Captain Niko knows what he's doing," the pirate laughed, drunk on his new power. Gonzo walked unsteadily towards Niko, holding his head.

"Hey Niko. Can you quiet down for a sec? You go play captain with Link in the cabins, yeah?"

"Get me a map, swabbie!"

Gonzo gave a sharp whack on the back of Niko's head. "Niko, you're not the captain. You're the skivvy. But I'll get you a chart if you'll just stay quiet, yeah?"

Niko rubbed his head and muttered a reluctant, "ok Gonzo." Once Gonzo was gone, he turned to Link. "Link! I promote you to be my first mate! The other subordinates don't know respect." Link saw a purple hat approaching from behind and made urgent shushing motions at Niko. The little pirate froze when he heard raspy, angry, breathing behind him.

Vaati yanked the frightened boy towards him. "So, having fun? Yes? Let me tell you that I'm not having fun right now and your squeaking is only making it worse."

"Sorry sir," Niko shook. Link's story about how the mage had once been one of the most powerful villains Hyrule had ever seen didn't help console him.

"Hmph." Vaati didn't loosen his grip on the pirate's collar as he took a moment to put his fingers against the bridge of his nose to stop the ringing in his head. The mage stuck out an impatient hand towards Gonzo who had returned wearily with an ocean chart. "Map."

Gonzo looked from the stricken Niko to the mage who had the pirate in an iron grip. "Niko, you're always getting yourself in trouble," Gonzo said with a hint of pity. He passed the map to Vaati.

Link couldn't help butting in as he watched Vaati looking at the map. "You're not planning to steer this thing, are you? You're still tipsy."

"I wasn't drunk," Vaati said flatly, but seemed to consider Link's comment. His gaze moved to Gonzo who had hurried away to the side of the ship and was retching, and then scanned the other pirates who were all in a similar state. He finally let Niko go, exasperated. "All right you. You're steering today."

Niko snapped to attention, "Yes sir, Captain! I'll take us safely to the Forsaken Fortress!" He was still shaken in Vaati's presence, but his eyes gleamed in excitement. He was going to steer! Something he'd always wanted to do.

Vaati flung the map towards the pirate and made his way back towards the side of the ship like the rest of the crew. He reminded himself that he was never, ever going to drink again.

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H-bomber: Thanks!

Reily96: Haha! And no, he doesn't want to admit it. :P