Title: The Babysitter
Author: Azure K Mello
Part: 35/36
Pairing: Angel/Spike
Rated: Adult
Type: AU
Summery: Cordy's Christmas.
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS
Find the rest at: /azurekmello
NOTE: I had to look up what American's eat at Christmas. The interwebs suggest that it's sort of like Thanksgiving. Correct me if you like. The only thing I know for sure is that American fruit cake deserves to be a gag gift.
Early afternoon Mr. And Mrs. Rush went off for a nap while Cordelia stopped by with presents and good cheer. The moment she was in the room Xander had scaled her and had his hands in her hair. Feeling like a complete bastard, Angel gave her a small smile and she said, "This is only awkward if we decide to make it awkward. So, instead, as I'm his best friend and you're his boyfriend, let's just be pleased to see each other." She hugged him lightly with Xander pressed between them, "Merry Christmas."
She had a book on dating etiquette and a gold Zippo lighter for Will, a giant stuffed mouse for Xander, fruity perfume for Liz, and a rather lovely thin cutting board made of lace wood and maple covered in nice cheeses for the adults.
"Cordy," said Joyce, "You didn't need to bring presents." Even as she said it she was handing Cordelia a small wrapped box.
"I know I didn't. But I wanted to and I love shopping. So really it was a win win situation." She opened the box and said, "Oh, that's lovely." And she held the white opal necklace to the light. "That is perfect, look at that fire." Then, as if realizing that she shouldn't be doing that, she smiled sheepishly and said, "Thank you. It's beautiful."
"If you didn't check the quality right off the bat I would worry you were ill." Joyce squeezed the girl's shoulder.
"It's beautiful," repeated Cordy and ruefully added, "and faultless."
"Here," Will passed her an even smaller box, "Happy Christmas, Cord."
She opened the box and had the ring in her finger in a blink of an eye. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She hugged him tightly. "How did you know?"
"You circled it in a catalogue and then forgot it in the student lounge. I'm good at skulking about so I grabbed it."
"I was so upset when I lost that!" she said laughing and excited. It was a thin band of yellow and pink gold that had been melted and swirled together. "I love it."
"Good, I'm glad, princess." Liz, Faith, and Giles went back to the living room to watch a movie.
Xander was pulling open a bag his mouse was holding and shouted, "Choc-late!"
"You're already shaking so you might want to save that for later. It wouldn't be good if you went into a diabetic coma before your lunch." Cordy said while running her hand through his curls.
"Cen I see yer lighta?" Xander asked Will.
"You have to see with your eyes, Xand, I'm not handing you a lighter."
"Someone said I was the Zeppo."
All of the kids instantly said, "You are not the Zeppo."
Cordelia added, "You are the Groucho, no question about it." She looked around and said, "I should go, let you get back to your Christmas."
"Oh, please say for lunch. At least lunch," said Will softly.
Noticing his tone and the look they shared Joyce asked lightly, "When do you need to get home for your parents?"
"Um," she faltered with a smile. "They're in Prague, so y'know, whenever."
"What?" said Joyce there was a cold harsh note.
"It was pretty last minute." She shrugged. "They didn't tell me until a couple of days ago."
"Cordelia, you're staying," Joyce's tone brokered no argument.
But Cordelia could always argue, "I don't want to impose."
"Boys, I need some girl time with Cordy, out." Once they were gone she said, "I know how hard this must be with Angel here."
"I've never been dumped, Mrs. Giles. I mean I'm arm candy, I'm gorgeous, I'm witty, and while I might not be exactly kind I am honest. Will's my best friend, so I was upset. He didn't want to explain it to me: I knew there was someone else. I was not only dumped but dumped for some new girl," Her tone was pure disgust. "I know it's stupid, and shallow, and shows how lucky I've been but I didn't even consider that happening. Then he told me it was Angel. Everything was okay after that. I can't compete with Angel. He's a man; I'm a woman. If Spike gay then there's nothing I could have done that would stop us from breaking up. He's my best friend. I want him to be happy. He seems happier these last couple of weeks. Anyway, Devon MacLeish asked me out."
"Good, good." Joyce smiled; it really did seem that Cordelia was fine with it.
Cordy looked down at her hands and played with her new ring. "You know what upset me about today? That I was actually shocked, that I was upset at all. They left me tons of presents and prepaid a dinner at one of the hottest restaurants in the city but they went to Prague." She laughed, "I probably wouldn't even have cared but then there's you. And Spike is so adamant that he's the huge problem in this family. But you guys still care. I used to win Cold Bitch of the Universe every year. I think knowing you all has made me softer. And I'm not sure I like that."
"Stay for today."
"I really wouldn't want to-"
"Mrs. Giles taught me how to do an English Christmas. I have an English husband and Will and Liz still think of England as home. It wouldn't be fair to make American food on Christmas, I couldn't do ham or turkey with pecan pie. So it's meat or goose with Yorkshire pudding, and roast potatoes, sausage rolls, Brussels sprouts in cream with walnuts, parsnips, sausages with bacon wrapped round, and so many desserts it is shocking. And while it's lovely, Mrs. Giles always cooked for a huge house. I don't know how to scale down the recipes, I can't do it. So I can feed twenty, maybe thirty, people with everything I've prepared for today."
"Really?" asked Cordy.
"Yes. So here's what you're going to do. You'll call the restaurant, tell them to give away the table, don't ask them for the refund. Let your parents swallow that. I don't say this very often but fuck them. How dare they?" Cordelia's jaw dropped and she started to laugh. She had never heard Joyce swear before. "Fuck 'em. We get to have you and they don't even get to realize what they're missing! It's their loss not yours."
Smiling Cordy said, "How do you do that?"
"I have a clean addict son, a daughter who started a fire in a middle school bathroom, a baby who makes full grown women cry, and Faith is the second Slayer we've had living with us. If I didn't know how to make people laugh we would have fallen apart years ago." She kissed the girl's forehead. She turned to the oven suddenly panicked, "The mince pies!" She pulled them out and they were slightly too brown but smelled delicious.
Cordelia made the phone call as Joyce called people to lunch. There was quiche, mince pies, Christmas cake, the things just kept piling up. Cordelia knew that the Giles ate their real meal at night so, if this was just a lunch to tide them over, she really believed what Joyce said about having enough food.
The afternoon progressed like the morning. They talked, laughed, got shooed out of the kitchen while trying to help. Ever earnest, Angel asked what he could do for about the twentieth time and Joyce nearly shouted, "Get out of my kitchen! I know you're trying to be useful but everything was prepared days if not weeks ago. Now it's just very careful timing. And right now, Angel, you're throwing it off." Once in the other room, Joyce could be heard singing along to Christmas carols: calm now everyone had left her alone.
Liz was dancing to Christmas music with Xander on her hip. All the while Angel was watching them from the couch and drawing very quickly in a block of paper. It wasn't hard to move behind him unnoticed. Looking at it the drawing one could feel the movement and emotion and Will said, "How do you do that?"
Angel glanced up with a smile before going immediately back to his work, "I'm a very talented artist. I have a show coming up in a few days; it's at a prestigious gallery. You should check it out."
Dinner was served promptly at eight. There were crackers that opened with loud snaps containing bright colored paper hats, pathetic gifts, and worse jokes. The jokes answered the questions of the ages. How do you catch a rabbit? Hide behind a rock and make the sound of a carrot. Half the jokes were in French which prompted the diners to translate English puns to weak French. Geometry was invented when an oak woke up in the forest and realized "Gee I'm a tree!" or roughly "Sacré bleu je suis un arbre!" Over trifle, truffles, Christmas pudding, dark chocolate mousse, and crème brule, the jokes got steadily more blue and Xander kept saying, "I don gedde it!" No one took off their hats until getting up from the table.
After dinner the family was exhausted and turned in, including Cordelia in the extra bed in Buffy's room. Will climbed into bed saying, "I always eat too much and then feel ill," he groaned and then proceeded to eat a wrapped raspberry truffle.
"This was like my family's Christmas on steroids. But it really was like coming home." Angel observed.
"Yeah, Mum pulls out all the stops. You're always welcome for Christmas, always… I can't wait for tomorrow."
Angel felt the look of incredulousness on his face. "There's more?"
"No, no one gets dressed. Mum washes the good china in total silence lest she gets distracted and breaks something. I pity the poor sod who dares to offer help. We eat leftovers, watch our new movies, hang out, and are generally lazy. It's awesome. I'm also going to be performing a heart transplant on my baby. She'll be thrilled: it's not some retooled corpse's heart. It's a brand new one that works on all ventricles." He kissed Angel gently, "Honestly the best present ever, by the way."
"Well, Happy Christmas," Angel said one last time and the pair drifted off to sleep.