Author's Note:
The title of this chapter is really a work of art. Pbbt. Horrible.
I wanted to give Tsujido lots of screen time. I'll admit, I'm in love with him. He's pretty much the most kick-ass henchman ever created: you can take that to the bank!
The following characters—especially Tsujido—belong to Gonzo.
. . .
The following day, Tsujido got a call from one of their police informants. He gave a hurried explanation. "Sir, there's a c-car, and it matches the description you sent me, a-and there's a man and a girl—"
Tsujido tapped Makabe's shoulder and gestured towards the highway exit sign. Makabe swung the car through two lanes of traffic to speed down the access ramp.
"Have you stopped them?" Tsujido asked.
"Yes, sir. I told them I was processing his license. H-he's cuffed on the trunk of his car."
"Where are you?"
. . .
"Jesus. This guy looks like he's about to piss his pants," Niihari commented as they saw the officer.
He was pacing nervously by his squad car when Suitengu's lackeys parked behind the flashing government-issued vehicle. Tsujido slammed his car door: the policeman jumped.
"Oh! You got here fast!" He wiped his sweaty palms on his jacket.
Tsujido motioned to Niihari. "Grab him and hold him still."
"It's-it's the same car, right?"
Tsujido compared the license plate number with a picture from a traffic cam shot he had in his pocket. "It would appear that way, yes." He growled. He didn't smell like Saiga. Tsujido's doubt fanned the already burning flame of his irritation.
The man was face-down on the trunk of the car, shivering. Tsujido whirled him around.
"I swear to God, I didn't do anything." The man stammered. "I don't even speed!"
Tsujido gripped the man's shirt collar. "What is your name?"
"Simon!"
Tsujido shoved the man to the ground and stepped over him to the passenger seat. He wrenched the door open. The girl screamed.
"Shit," Tsujido cursed. He yanked the girl from her seat and dragged her towards the police officer. "Does this look like the Goddess to you?!" He pushed the girl away and palmed his gun, pointing the barrel at the quivering officer's head.
"She's not?" The officer quaked. "But I was sure! The car is the same!"
"I don't care about the fucking car!" Tsujido turned to the fearful couple behind him. "Get over here now!"
They crawled over to Tsujido, and he sat them at the officer's feet. Niihari grinned at them as he cocked his gun.
Tsujido marched to the other car and buried his nose in the passenger seat. He could definitely smell Kagura; the driver's seat wielded the same results for Saiga. Even in the back, he picked up his own scent—and the bleach. He whirled on the captives.
"Where did you steal this car?"
"You're not gonna believe this, but we didn't steal it! We went to this fair, see, and when we came out, our stuff was piled the parking space. There was a note with a key saying this car-jacker swapped cars! We didn't know what else to do, so we told the cops and took this car."
"Where was the fair?"
"About ten miles
south on this road. There's a huge sign: you can't miss it!"
"Do
you know anything about the people who stole your car?"
"Nothing!"
"Pay close attention to what I'm about to say because it will not get repeated. I want you to get into the car, drive home and stay put. I'm sure the police will find your car soon enough, but if I see either of your faces again, I'll make sure you die. Do you understand?"
They nodded vigorously.
"Get out of here." Tsujido barked.
The man stumbled to the passenger seat, and the girl sprinted to the driver's door, shoving the gearshift into drive and speeding away.
Tsujido glared the officer down. "My time is very precious, and you've wasted a significantly large amount of it."
"I'm-I'm so sorry, Sir!"
"It's too bad an apology won't save your life."
. . .
Author's Note:
Unfortunately, the conclusion of this chapter means that I can't use the line "piss his pants" again in this fiction. Shit. I really like that line, too.