"Boyfriend, Kitana what the fuck!?" Spider-man questioned in disbelief to the princess of Edenia.
"Well, after the dinner party you came to, my mom went to this demented God we know and she found a way to bring my old boyfriend back from the dead." she explained nervously twirling a strand of loose hair.
"So wait, are you 2 still gonna screw?" Deadpool asked unafraid of the consequences and Liu Kang eyed Kitana suspiciously.
"Um, Liu could you wait for me in the palace." Liu Kang complied and left Kitana to handle her very strange dilemma.
"Look I will sleep with you Spidey, it's just that you shouldn't expect any sort of relationship to come out of this." she explained to a dissapointed Spider-man.
"WHAT!?"
"It's just that, well, Liu Kang came first." she explained not really caring for Spider-man's reaction.
"What!?" he yelled. "Kitana, he's got to be about 3 inches shorter than me and he wears a bandana like he's trying to be John-freaking-Rambo!"
"Which he is not!" Deadpool added. "Rambo knew how to kick ass and wasn't afraid to disembowel! Heh-heh, disembowel, dis-em-bowel, I like that word."
"Yeah, why would you get a wet pussy over that?" Spider-man asked.
"Hey, don't blame me, blame Ed Boon." she danced around the question and left to her home. Spider-man and Deadpool just stand there stunned.
"I can't believe this man." Spider-man started before walking towards the castle.
"Can't believe what?" Deadpool questioned as he followed behind his best friend.
"I was the fucking rebound guy!" Spider-man said in dismay. "She was just using me as waiting line for a fucking asian!"
"Dude, she's a fucking video game character, they're all sluts!" Deadpool explained.
"All female video game characters?" Spider-man questioned.
"Dude, they're all either fierce warriors from a silver spoon backround or a freaking bounty hunter with the voice of Jennifer Hale having a violent orgasm, of course they're gonna give it away for free!" Deadpool explained.
"All video game characters aye?" Spider-man thought out loud. "Kitana's best friend Jade?"
"Spidey I bet you by the end of this story, she and Kitana are going to 69. Of course after she's done with you."
"Dude no fanfiction writer is going to have a character sleep with me and then become a lesbo." Spider-man replied.
"Oh you'd be surprised my friend. You'd be surprised."
"Okay... Chun Li?" Spider-man asked.
"She sucky, sucky and licky, licky 5 dorra!" he explained in a foreign accent.
"Princess Peach?"
"Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Toad, Yoshi! Need I go on?"
"Samus?"
"Everytime she dies she sounds like she's squirting her love juice." Deadpool said with glee. "Look dude, either way, you my friend will be getting laid."
"I guess you're right."
"I know I'm right!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Pussy helps the world go round."
"You would know right?" Spider-man replied smugly.
"Yeah I've had some experience before my..." Deadpool gulped. "accident."
"Really, have you done any of the X-women?" Spider-man asked curiously.
"I wish!"
"Electra?"
"That's the Punisher's territory, I ain't going near that." Deadpool said
"Sue Richards."
"Spidey, what I meant was I've had experience with regular women." Deadpool corrected Spider-man. "I've only had sex with one superhuman and I've regretted it ever since."
Spider-man and Deadpool walk into the palace.
Outworld
In the palace of Shao Kahn lied the most feared dictator in all the realm. Shao Kahn, 7 feet tall, 500 pounds in full muscle, shaking violently, and struggling with a bottle of pills. Wait a minute, what?
"Uhhhhh-uhhhhhh! S-S-Stupid pills, open all ready, uhhhhhhh!" Shao Kahn shouted at his pills. All of the sudden Shao Kahn's daughter, Mileena came in.
"Hey there Shao, how you doing?" she asked casually.
"How the hell do you think I'm doing!" the nervous wreck of an emperor yelled. "Uhhh, I use to be the most powerful being in all of Outworld until I got my ass kicked by some 5 foot spick! Ooooh when think about all the trouble that little bastard has caused me! Uhhh!"
"Yeah, well I just came to let you know that our spy just sent in his report. Turns out Kitana's getting a strike team to come over here." she explained as if nothing bad was going to happen.
"D-Damn it, she's trying to kill me again."
While Shao Kahn was loathing in his self-pity of his inimate dimise, Baraka and Goro came in casually and went straight for Shao Kahn's safe.
"W-W-What the hell are you 2 doing? Uhhh" Shao Kahn questioned pathetically.
"We're taking our pay, dumbass!" Baraka said disrespectfully to his boss.
"Hey! C-Come back here with my money!" Shao Kahn demanded but to no avail. Baraka and Goro left the fallen emperor's chambers with 200 thousand dollars each.
"Ooooh, when did I start losing control over my minions?" Shao Kahn questioned out loud.
"Like you said, when you got your ass kicked by a 5 foot spick." she answered disrespectfully and started to walk out.
"W-Whe're you going?" Shao Kahn questioned.
"To meet with my boyfriend."
"Y-You can't just leave me to visit some boy!" he pleaded pathetically "I'm going to die!"
"So?" she obviously didn't care.
"D-Damn it! I am your father and you will listen to me!" he yelled
"I would if I had any respect for you." she giggled and walked out. Shao Kahn took out a whiskey bottle and started drinking as if there were no end.