Chapter 36
The next day—Thursday, December 18
I spent the night in my bed holding Stephanie, her sweet scent a balm for my spirit. She slept long and deep, and I slept better than I had in the seven-and-a-half months since she was kidnapped.
I slipped out of bed at 0600 and dressed in my normal winter apparel of cargoes and long-sleeved t-shirt. I wanted to make sure she didn't wake up and find me in bed with her. The memory of her telling me she never wanted to see me again, although five months old, was fresh and painful in my mind, and I wasn't sure how she'd feel when she woke up.
Last night after I tucked her into bed dressed in one of my t-shirts and a clean pair of RangeMan panties that still remained in my closet, I returned the angry phone call from Morelli.
"Stephanie asked me to take her home, and that's exactly what I did," I told him.
"She meant home to my house," he sputtered. "And besides, she was high on something."
"I don't believe she meant your house, Morelli. And you've proven yet again that you're incompetent to care for her. I'm going to take care of her for as long as she lets me, and if she chooses to go back to you then I'll deliver her myself. But I'm not going to do anything from here on out without her input and approval." I snapped my phone shut almost hard enough to break it.
I made a pot of coffee and at 0800 I fixed a cup with cream and sugar the way Stephanie liked it and carried it into the bedroom.
"Babe, wake up." I blew across the top of the coffee mug toward her face, wafting the scent to her nostrils. "Stephanie, it's morning. Time to get up."
Her eyes fluttered open and confusion reigned when she saw me. "Ranger?"
"Yeah, Babe, it's me. Here's your coffee. Can you sit up?"
She pushed herself up against the headboard and reached for the coffee. After a few sips she started to look a little more alert. "What am I doing here?" she asked. "Where's Joe?"
"Do you remember what happened yesterday?"
She stared blind-eyed into her coffee cup for a moment and then comprehension flew across her face. "I left Joe," she said, looking back up at me.
"You sure did." I allowed myself a hint of a smile.
"Oh, God, I don't have anyplace to live. I just can't bear the thought of going home to my parents." Her eyes filled with tears. "My mother's going to freak when she finds out."
"Babe, you can stay here as long as you want to." I was serious, praying, no, begging God that she'd choose to stay with me.
"Ranger, that's really nice of you, but I don't think I could impose."
"I want you here. Stay with me. Please."
She started to open her mouth and I knew she was going to say she couldn't, so I tried a preemptive strike. "Don't make up your mind right now. You've got an appointment in less than two hours, so why don't you take a shower and get dressed. You can think about it later."
"What appointment?" she asked, sipping at her coffee again.
"You're going to see Dr. Marino at ten and Carole at eleven. Then I'm taking you out to lunch. So hop in the shower. I asked Ella to bring breakfast up at eight-thirty and she's making pancakes. You don't want to miss out on Ella's pancakes. They're the best."
I took the half-empty cup from her and extended my other hand. She slipped hers into it, as trusting as a child, and I felt like weeping. I walked her to the bathroom door, used an arm around her neck to pull her to me so I could kiss the top of her head, and then released her.
"Remember, breakfast in twenty minutes," I reminded her as I watched the bathroom door swing shut.
I was desperate to ask Stephanie if she could ever forgive me for what happened to her, if she could be my friend again, or even more, but I knew I shouldn't push her. That would send her away, I was certain of it. I had to give her time to get used to me again.
Fifteen minutes later with a brisk tap on the door Ella came bustling in pushing a wheeled cart. "Macy's opened at six this morning, so I picked up some clothes for Stephanie. I wasn't sure about her size since she's lost so much weight, so I bought several different sizes. As soon as I see how these fit her I'll get some more things. I bought her some makeup and hair products, too."
"I really appreciate it, Ella. We'll let you know about the sizes."
She set the breakfast tray on the counter and pulled several bags from the lower shelf of the cart. "Do you want me to hang these in the closet?"
"No thanks. Stephanie should be getting out of the shower any minute now. I'll just put them on the bed for her to choose from."
As Ella left the apartment I took the bags into the bedroom and pulled the comforter up over the bed so I could lay out the clothes. Three pairs of jeans in three different sizes, and half a dozen tops in assorted colors and styles. Three sets of matching bras and panties. Black drawstring yoga pants and a matching long-sleeved t-shirt. A smaller handled bag overflowing with cosmetics, hair gels and other feminine beauty products.
The shower stopped and I hurried back out, closing the bedroom door behind me.
A few minutes later Stephanie wandered out to the kitchen with a towel around her head, looking as small as a child with my terrycloth robe puddling on the floor around her bare feet.
"Ready for breakfast, Babe?" I asked her, and a tiny smile graced her lips when she saw me uncovering the tray. There was fresh-squeezed orange juice along with pancakes, a bowl of fresh fruit, and bagels with lox and cream cheese. It looked like enough food to feed a family of six.
We sat side by side on the stools at the breakfast bar, drinking more coffee and eating, both comfortable with silence. Feeling honestly hungry for the first time in over seven months, I ate fruit and two whole-grain pancakes. Stephanie doused a pancake with the syrup Ella had included and ate almost the whole thing.
I felt more content than I'd been since the last time she'd stayed here, the domesticity of sharing the morning meal lightening the burden I'd carried for so long.
oOo
Chapter 37
"There are some things for you on the bed," I said when we finished eating. "Ella went shopping."
"Really? But it's so early."
"Christmastime, Babe. Ella said Macy's opened at six."
She remained on the stool, and after a minute I stood and put an arm around her to ease her to her feet. Keeping my arm around her shoulders I walked her into the bedroom and over to the bed.
"Get ready," I said, brushing my lips against her forehead. "We need to leave in about twenty minutes."
"Okay."
Very little emotion in her expression, and no panicked words about taming her hair. Not even close to the pre-kidnapping Stephanie, I thought with dejection.
As I was cleaning up the kitchen, rinsing dishes, loading the dishwasher and putting the leftover food in the refrigerator, my phone rang. Morelli.
"Talk," I ordered.
"I want to speak with Stephanie," he gritted out, furious.
"She's getting dressed right now, and I'm taking her to Princeton to the doctor in a few minutes. I'll have her call you this afternoon."
"Fuck that. I want to talk to her now, and then she needs to call her mother."
"This afternoon," I repeated and disconnected.
Three minutes later my phone rang again. The caller ID showed the Plum residence.
"Yes?" I was pissed but did my best to be polite.
"Mr. Manoso, this is Helen Plum."
"Yes, Mrs. Plum?" I kept my voice light and matter of fact.
"Could I please speak with Stephanie?"
"She's busy right now, and we have to leave in a few minutes for her doctor appointment. I'll ask her to call you back this afternoon when we get back from Princeton."
"I'd like to speak with her now for a minute."
"This afternoon," I repeated. "I'll make sure she calls you."
I closed the phone, ending the call. It immediately rang again and I pushed the button to send it to voicemail. Then I programmed the phone to forward my calls to the control room downstairs, notifying the men on duty that I would be offline for the morning and would check in after lunch.
oOo
It took us forty-five minutes to get through all the holiday shopping traffic on the way to Princeton, and Stephanie was silent almost the whole way. She sat with her hands clasped together in her lap, but the closer we got to the clinic the more she twisted her fingers together until she was wringing her hands. Finally I couldn't stand it another minute.
"Babe, don't worry. Everything is going to be okay." I reached my right hand over and engulfed her left, bringing it to my thigh and holding it there.
She just sighed and squirmed in her seat.
After a few more minutes she said in a small voice. "I screwed up."
"Everybody makes mistakes," I told her. "It's going to be fine."
"I was supposed to see Cindy two weeks ago. I missed my appointment."
"That's why we're going now."
"I ran out of pills."
"We'll get you more."
"And I was supposed to go talk to Carole and I didn't."
"You can talk to her today."
My nonjudgmental tone seemed to soothe her, and she relaxed back into the seat, her fingers curling into my palm.
oOo
When the nurse called Stephanie's name she huddled into her chair, not responding.
"Stephanie," the nurse said again, looking at her. "Dr. Marino is ready for you now."
She still showed no sign of moving, so I stood and held my hand out to her. "Come on, Babe. I told you everything is going to be fine, and I meant it. Have I ever lied to you?"
She looked up at my face and then took my hand, allowing me to pull her up. Clutching my hand with both of hers like a drowning person clutches a lifeline she said, "Will you come in with me?"
"Of course, if you want me to."
"Please." Her voice was pleading, almost desperate.
Cindy was waiting in her office, and her eyes lasered me when I walked through the door, Stephanie still clutching my hand. I sat Stephanie down in a comfortable chair and then moved back toward the door.
"Ranger!" Stephanie's voice sounded almost panicky. "You said you'd stay with me."
I stepped back and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Babe. I thought you just wanted me to walk you in, but if you want me to stay I will. As long as it's okay with Cindy."
Cindy looked from me to Stephanie. "Carlos can stay if you'll sign a HIPA privacy release form."
Stephanie nodded and Cindy pulled a pre-printed sheet out of a drawer, signing as a witness to Stephanie's signature and placing the form in a thick folder on her desk. Stephanie's chart.
I'd talked with Cindy last night while Stephanie was still in the emergency room, telling her what happened. Seeing Stephanie's distress, Cindy began with routine matters. What prescriptions did Stephanie need? All of them. How long had she been out of medicine? Two weeks.
"I know I told you this back when you were first released from the hospital, but it's time for a refresher course," Cindy said. "I can't emphasize enough the importance of continuing your medication on a regular basis. It will help keep your mood stabilized, and allow you to get back to your life."
Stephanie looked down at her hands clasped in her lap, fingers threaded together, knuckles white. "I know I messed up. I was all alone in that house all day long, day after day, and I just didn't have the energy to go to the drug store. I promise it won't happen again."
"And are you doing something positive to improve your situation so it doesn't happen again?"
"I broke off my engagement to Joe and am moving out of his house. I'm not quite sure where I'm going to live, but… I guess I'll stay with Ranger for a few days until I can decide…" She looked at me. "If that's okay with you?"
"Of course, Babe," I said, trying to keep my voice casual and disguise the relief I was feeling. "I told you that you can stay as long as you want, and I meant it."
She relaxed back into her chair and sighed. "Okay then, that's settled."
oOo
Stephanie was much less nervous when we reached Carole's office, going in readily when they called her and leaving me in the waiting room. She came out looking relaxed and almost cheerful, and we both ate well at the little Italian restaurant where we stopped for lunch.
About halfway back to Trenton Stephanie again began twisting her fingers together. I reached over and took her hand again. "What's bothering you, Babe?"
"Is it really okay if I stay with you for a while? I don't want to be a burden."
"It's more than okay. I really want you, for as long as you're willing to stay with me."
I wanted to say more, to beg her to stay with me forever, tell her again how sorry I was for what happened to her, how much I cared about her, but I restrained myself. Not the right time yet. I knew we'd have to work it through sooner or later, but for now I just wanted to take care of her, to see if there was any chance of bringing the old Stephanie back.
TBC