A/N: Dear lordy lord lord, I meant to get this done DAYS ago, but alas, life happened. I can't promise another update anytime soon; probably not until another week or so. Next week is my last full week of classes and after that is finals, so I'll be cramming and such for the next two weeks. I'll try to do something to Running Back, but I'm sure this one is going to be on a short hiatus until my finals are over. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I'm hoping between this and 9 I can get all the "back story" out of the way and jump into the plot. I'm going to be using a lot of medical research crap coming soon, just as a warning. I'm getting excited for the next few chapters. It's where the "goods" comes in. Hope you guys like this and I'll try to get something up if I can.
Chapter 8
5 Days Later
"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Jessica asked me for the hundredth time. Her green eyes were filled with uncertainty and worry. She's been hovering since I was released from the hospital. There was nothing wrong with me except a broken rib and a couple bruises. As long as I didn't move fast, I was fine.
"I'll be fine Jess." I said, exasperated.
"Are you sure? I can take off work to"
"Jess, go, I'll be fine." I told her, touched and annoyed at her worry all at the same time. She constantly worried and constantly hovered. I understood her worry and caution, but I wasn't made of glass. I was more or lessly fine, and I can take care of myself.
Jessica looked conflicted and I sighed, careful not to take to take or expel too much air and walked over to her. I rubbed my hands down her arms and kissed her gently.
"Go to work. Save lives. I'll be fine." I told her and she gave me a weak smile. "I'll call if I need something, ok?"
"Don't hesitate." She informed me. I nodded and she sighed and grabbed her overcoat and purse. "Relax, ok?" She told me and I nodded and waved a hand dismissively. "Doctors orders." She said sternly and I smiled.
"Yes Ma'am." She walked out of the house, hesitating at the door. Once she was finally gone, I sat down on the couch and sighed, a bit too heavily and winced at the quick stab of protest from my rib.
I closed my eyes and tried to remember, anything, from my life before the accident. I always tried this when the house was quiet and Jessica was gone at work. It made it easier to think. Gave me no audience when I got frustrated and I didn't have to answer questions and share disappointment when I couldn't remember anything.
When I woke up from the accident, I was disoriented and confused. I didn't know who I was or where I was. I didn't know the date, the year. I didn't know who was president, I didn't know where I was born, what job I held, who my parents were, nothing. It was like I didn't exist before the accident.
I wasn't in a hospital when I woke up, though Jess told me I was in a coma. She's a doctor, a good one I guess, and because she's my fiancé, the hospital let her discharge me and care for me at home.
She told me I had some kind of amnesia. I forget the actually term used, but it's when you don't remember anything prior from a certain event. Usually it's not complete and usually doesn't last long. But apparently, I defied medical logic and lost all memory and haven't gained anything back. Jess tells me there's nothing they can do. That my brain is scarred and my long term memory is inaccessible to me.
I closed my eyes and tried to remember anything that Jessica had told me about. I tried to remember when I asked her to marry me or how we first met, but nothing. I could only hear her words telling me the story. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even imagine it. It felt…wrong.
I sighed in frustration and opened my eyes. I hated this. I hated not knowing what my life was. I hate the only things I know about it come from someone who could have been a complete stranger and I wouldn't know better.
I stood up and started to pace restlessly. Jessica said it was possible my memory would return. She said it could happen, but there wasn't anything we could do…medically speaking.
I paused in mid pace and thought about Jess. She has dark brown hair, emerald green eyes and a kind heart. It was obvious why she became a doctor instead of a lawyer or whatever. She has a sharp eye and a keen sense of empathy and understanding. She's laid back and easy going, but she's stern and harsh when she needs to be. She has the body of a model and talked with a slight accent. She seemed to care about me but…I don't know. There's something, almost missing. I don't know if it's my missing memory or what, but when I'm with her, it feels almost like I'm cheating on someone else. Someone I don't know. Someone I don't remember.
Jude. A voice in the back of my mind said. I smiled at the thought of her. Red haired, expressive blue eyes, and an energy around her that was all consuming. When she stepped into the room, it was like she had her own private spot light on her. She was young and there was something…familiar about her. I can't place it. But when I met her eyes, it was a feeling of home; I felt right for the first time since the accident.
I shook my head to clear it and pulled myself from my thoughts. I was just imagining it. I scolded myself. There was no way I could know that woman. She even admitted she didn't know me.
So why can't I stop thinking about her?
-----------------------
I shut off the soundboard and got ready to call it quits for the day. It's Friday night and I planned to spend it at home with my daughter.
Briana was doing well since the accident. She was more talkative and seemed to be happier since she left the hospital. Not a day goes by that she doesn't ask me about when Daddy's coming home. As much as I wanted and suspected Jason to be Tommy, part of me was afraid to hope. Afraid to believe.
I did my research and total memory loss is extremely rare. It usually doesn't last long and this has been over two years. Besides the highly stacked odds of his condition, I was afraid. What if he was Tommy and he didn't love me? Love us? What if he didn't lose his memory? What if Jason was really just Jason? I couldn't handle it if I let my heart get broken like that again. It nearly killed me the first time around and I couldn't imagine going through all that again. And at the same time, I needed him to be Tom. I needed my husband, best friend, confidant, lover, and greatest pain-in-my-ass. He completed me and grounded me when I was angry, upset, or over-joyed. He's my soul mate and it's like I lost a part of myself whenever we were apart.
How do I find the truth without disappointment? Without heartbreak? I don't know. I don't have the answer and I don't think it's even possible.
My phone chirped from the clip on my jeans. I sighed and glanced at the caller-ID screen, not recognizing the number. I contemplated a moment letting it go to voicemail. Probably just a reporter, I thought. What the hell.
I flipped the phone open and held it to my hear.
"Hello?"
"Ms. Quincy?"
My heart leaped into my throat. Nope. Definitely not a reporter. I swallowed with difficulty, trying to calm my fluttering heart and frazzled nerves. I felt my hands and legs begin to shake and I lowered myself back into my chair so I didn't collapse.
"Yes?"
"This is Jason Michaels, you gave me your card the other-"
"Yes, I remember," I breathed out, closing my eyes and taking solace in hearing his voice. He actually called. I felt a smile spread across my face at the thought.
"How's your daughter?" He asked, sounding genuinely interested.
"She's good, thanks to you." I managed to say.
"It was no problem." He reiterated and I wanted to argue, but I knew there was no point in it. I felt tears sting my eyes. It had to be him. It had to be. "Did you still, um, want to go for that coffee or whatever?" He asked, sounding slightly nervous.
"YES!" I exclaimed and winced. Real tactful Jude. I scolded myself and I heard him chuckle slightly on the other end of the phone and I felt my heart melt.
"Want to do lunch sometime?" He asked, sounding tentative and I smiled. God yes I wanted to.
"That sounds good." I said, keeping my excitement down. My smile was wide and beaming. I probably looked like an idiot but I didn't care. I was going on a sort of date with my husband who I thought was dead. I had a right to be happy. Granted, he doesn't seem to remember me.
"Great," He said and I could hear the smile in his voice. God I missed that sound.
"I've got plans this weekend, but maybe during the week sometime?" I asked, feeling hope rise in my chest.
"Sounds fine to me." I felt relief flood through me. "What day's good for you?" He asked and I sighed, mentally running through my studio schedule.
"Tuesday?"
"Tuesday it is." He affirmed.
He gave me his number and we promised to call if anything came up. I hung up the phone feeling like my teenage self when he asked me on our first date. Tuesday couldn't come fast enough.