A/N: OK, this chapter has been a toughie for me to get right. I'm so excited for the next few chapters, you guys have NO idea! It's amazing how being on the edge of exhaustion can motivate and put everything together. I'm sorry it's been so long, but life happened.

OH! And, since I forgot last update, I must say it now. Sorry guys, I wanted to release where the "rough idea" came from last chapter but I forgot because I was updating on a rush. Now, full story first: I have always wanted to do a sequel to CMT because I LOVE that universe. I don't know why, but it was my first fic that I ever fell in love with. It's…my baby, I must say, and I think that fic is what got me my recognition on other sites…as well as this one. Though the Two Worlds trilogy was up there as well. I wanted to do a sequel but I needed the right plot. That fic…it was so drama-perfect I couldn't follow up with it without a bang, so to speak. I needed something different, something that I could pull off so well and so differently that only I could write it.

I got this idea talking it out with Rockerbabe one day (my real life best friend). I told her I wanted to so something in the universe, and she told me a prequel might be a good idea, which I thought about and even a "Jude's time in New York and Tommy's time in Canada during the separation" but I dislike writing Other Character romance. What can I say, I'm a Jommy shipper through and through. I got thinking about it, and I wanted to deal in memory loss. I did it in Instant Reality (sort of) and I liked it. I liked the frustrations of the characters and how it just makes for an awesome plot, over all.

Thus, I spent about a few hours talking with JudeQuincy (Another well known Instant Star drama writer and one of my friends I met through the DLS) and was getting her opinion about how to do it and we unraveled the whole fic…basically. But I wasn't sure how to progress it. I had it outlined, but I couldn't think up the kinks and how to for sure make it work out right.

That's when I talked it out with Rockerbabe (seriously, I work out all my plots to my friends…lucky them, lol!) and she reminded me that on General Hospital, there as a plot line we both agonized over with our favorite characters, Nikolas and Emily where Nikolas lost his memory and believed he was someone else do to a psycho chick telling him about his "life". When she reminded me about that, it gave me a couple little things on tweak-age.

For the GH fans, I'm so not going down that road…that got ridiculous! Also note, I have my own reasons for memory loss, lots of research (thanks to my psychology textbook for pointing me in the right direction) and lots of creativity on my part.

So, now you know the story behind the fic. Don't be looking into GH plots because, honestly, it's not going the same way. It's a rough thing to help me guide my way through and figure out how to progress certain things (though it's barely helped, let me tell you). But that's the story behind the fic.

And now, for what you've all been waiting for, CHAPTER 10!

Chapter 10

Over the course of a month, To-Jason and I got to know each other. Something just…clicked right at the first meeting. We connected and he seemed to like spending time with me. And I couldn't refuse him.

When we were together, it was almost perfect. Almost like how it was. If only he'd remember. If only I could find a way to make him remember. To prove to him without a doubt that the life he was living is a lie.

But at the same time…he's happy. As much as it kills me, that's all I ever wanted for him. Of him.

"OK, what gives?" Kat said, smiling knowingly at me.

"What?" I asked, snapping myself of my thoughts. Kat and I were spending a rare afternoon together to catch up. Between my work, her designing, my daughter, and her planning of her wedding to Jamie, we rarely talked anymore.

"Come on, you can tell me. You've been so damn happy lately. Spill." Kat told me, smiling and winking suggestively. I shook my head but couldn't deny the fact that I was happy. My husband is alive. Albeit, he doesn't remember me, but I see him. We laugh, we talk…it's…it's like falling in love all over again.

"Kat, I"

"You met a guy didn't you?!" She squealed out and I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.

"Yeah, I guess I kind of did." I told her and she squealed and got out of her chair to hug me tightly.

"Oh. My. Gawd!" She said, pulling away from me and returning to her seat. "Jude, details!" She demanded, sitting in her seat and leaning forward attentively.

"There's not much to say." I told her, not sure how to break the news.

"Jude. You've been moping around since the accident with Tommy," Kat pointed and added quickly "Not, that I blame you or anything. I don't know what I'd do if Jamie ever…well," She trailed off and looked apologetically at me. "But Jude, seriously. He must be some guy if he can put a smile back on your face."

"He is Kat, he is." I told her, smiling to myself. He's the guy.

I clicked on the radio and left the room, letting the loud volume fill the small house. Jess had left for work and we were supposed to have company over later in the week and the house was a disaster. At least, to her standards.

I sighed and started to pick things up and putting things back in the rightful place. As I worked, I found myself humming a tune. I couldn't place it but it just seemed…right.

I made it into the living room and picked up a few magazines and felt a pounding in my temples. I winced and closed my eyes, the light suddenly making my head hurt. The sudden pain stole my breath and I gasped out and leaned a hand over to feel for the couch before allowing myself to collapse into it. I groaned and rubbed my head in pain, not understanding where it was coming from.

I watched her sit on her stool and play her guitar, trying to find the perfect chords for her lyrics. God I loved watching her. The light caught her red hair and caused it to shimmer and glow. Sixteen years old and seven years my junior and she made me lust more than any busty-blonde I ever laid eyes on. She's a classic beauty; not busty or overly curvy, but soft and supple. Her smile is contagious, her eyes bright and captivating. Her voice is that of an angel (even when she's yelling) and her mouth full and ever so inviting. I groaned to myself. I couldn't be falling for her. But I was. She stopped strumming and turned towards me and I felt my breath catch in my throat.

The image faded as quickly as it appeared. I held my head and gasped, taking short and quick breaths.

What the hell was that? I wondered, panting and trying to get my body back under control again. My head was throbbing, my body had broken out into a cold sweat, and I was shaking all over. I felt weak and tired and I couldn't understand why or what had just happened.

I took a couple more breaths to steady myself and I got up and carefully made my way to the medicine cabinet to get some aspirin for my pounding head. I downed three with the help of tap water and let myself focus on the…memory?

No, it couldn't have been a memory, I told myself, shaking my head. I didn't know a red-headed girl…or did I? I sighed and groaned in frustration. I hate this. Who was that girl? I wondered to myself, trying to see her face in my foggy mind, but it wasn't any use. The memory ended before I could fully see her face.

Think, damn it! Remember! I berated myself, hating that I couldn't remember even if I tried.

I winced as my head continued to throb. I rubbed my temples and shook my head to clear it. I couldn't think about this right now. My head hurt and I wanted nothing more than to sleep this killer headache off.

I stepped out of the bathroom again and felt the room start to spin. I held out a hand to the wall to brace myself and closed my eyes and fought back a bit of nausea.

What the hell is wrong with me? I wondered and winced as my head continued to pound painfully.

"Hey!"

I turned my head to see Chaz standing with the guys. They were all dressed in their white suits and bandanas were in the hands.

"You going to get ready?" He asked and I sighed.

I hated the suit.

"The lyrics are too bland!" I argued.

"They're fine the way they are!" Chaz yelled back, and I fumed. He knew I was right. He just didn't want to admit it.

"Yeah, if you're 90!" I spat and Chaz swung his arm back and hit me in the jaw before I could block it.

"The lyrics stay." He told me, his voice conveying finality.

I gasped and opened my eyes. I somehow ended up on the floor of the hallway and I had no idea how long I was there for. The room was still spinning slightly and I felt like I was going to be sick. My head pounded in time with my racing heart and I had a fleeting thought of this is what it must feel like to die.

I took a few deep breaths and I stood up on shaky legs and placed my hand on the wall to steady myself. I felt my stomach lurch and I stumbled quickly in the bathroom and lost my stomach contents in the porcelain bowl. Once finished, I hit the flusher and sat back against the wall a moment to gather my streghth. My whole boy was shaking and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. My head still throbbed and I felt like shit.

I took a deep breath and stood up on shaky legs and rinsed out my mouth with mouthwash to get the bile taste out of my mouth and barely managed to get into the bedroom and collapsed unceremoniously onto the bed before exhaustion seemed to overtake my body. My eyes closed unwillingly and I fell into a blissful state of unawareness, not knowing how much more tortuous headaches I could take.