Tabula Rasa Risty
by Princess Alexandria
Risty listened to the damned birds singing. Hard to believe her mutant power was to become a Raven when she felt like tossing a book out the window to quiet the local wildlife. The sunny morning was just another in a string of them. Her days were endlessly boring, so much so she actually envied Rogue her homework last night.
The Professor was giving her a break from his stupid counseling. That was a gift today. She didn't like talking about her feelings while he struggled to look like a loving father. She knew better than to believe a man claiming to care about you. Risty's eyebrows drew together as she considered that thought. How did she know?
She rolled onto her stomach lazily and stared over at Rogue's empty bed. Even when Rogue had a day off school she still had to wake up early and train. A slight grimace came to Risty's lips as she thought about that one session where she tried to join them. If Jean hadn't caught her she would have broken her bones again. She couldn't maintain her birdform. Shifting was hard, so very hard. It surprised Risty that she'd ever attempted to fly since she tended to suddenly shift back. The desperation she must have felt to choose to do that scared her.
Thoughts of her torture were never far away. It took all her control to not scream at Summers when he talked about protecting humans. Look what those humans did to her. She couldn't remember it all, but her nightmares filled in gaps that she'd rather forget.
********
Rogue made sure to take the shower stall further away from the other girls on the team, and showered quickly so that she could get back upstairs.
"Hey Rogue, we were thinking about going to the mall." Jean called over to her while the redhead was doing her hair nearby. At least these locker rooms had some privacy. Rogue couldn't take PE at the high school because of her mutation but here there was little risk her teammates would accidently get too close.
"Oh," Rogue pulled her robe on and stepped out of the shower stall. "Ah can't. We're going to the movies." Rogue noticed Jean turn from the mirror to look at her for a little too long. Rogue wouldn't mind going to the mall, but Risty was really eager to see this movie and she'd promised.
"Yeah, you and Risty seem to really get along." Jean spoke a little slower than normal. "It's good."
"What do you mean by that?" Rogue scowl made it clear she didn't like this conversation. She had some feeling she knew where it was going. She'd noticed the looks her and Risty were getting lately.
"It's just," Jean put her brush down and turned to actually face Rogue. "She's nice enough, pretty. You could do worse."
"What are you talking about?" Rogue glared, but she knew full well what Jean was insinuating.
"I'm just saying that if you like her, what's the harm?" Jean gave her that superior smirk and left, leaving Rogue feeling like denying it. Rogue stared at her own reflection before angrily starting to run her own brush through her hair.
"What's the point. Ah can't touch anyone." She muttered too quietly for Jean to hear and felt a dull ache in her chest at that thought. Other girls talked about love with the idea that someday they'd have that. Rogue knew better.
The girl thing wasn't as big an issue as Rogue's damned mutation. Her mothers were gay, so it would be pretty hypocritical for Rogue to have a problem with the fact that... Rogue sighed heavily and listened to the emptiness of the locker room. She was the last one out again. Risty really was everything Rogue would want in a girl, if she decided to go that way.
Her eyebrows drew together as Rogue stared at her reflection. Gay. Did she want to do that? She liked boys well enough. A glance at the clock had her moving a bit faster so that Risty and her could make it on time for the first showing. She didn't need to have these thoughts now.
Her hairbrush was put absently back into her locker as Rogue finished getting dressed. Risty hugged her, and Rogue remembered the warmth of that contact and the lack of fear. Most people were a little scared to be close to Rogue when she wasn't all covered up.
Risty. Rogue nibbled on her bottom lip. Did she want to be gay with Risty? What would Risty say about that if Rogue brought it up? Risty didn't seem homophobic. God damn Jean for making her think about this. Rogue closed her locker slowly and moved to leave more slowly than she'd intended. She felt a bit awkward now about spending time with Risty when she didn't know what she wanted. Was there a point to wanting when she couldn't have?
********
Risty grinned as she stood up holding an unexpected find. She'd been looking to borrow a pair of sock from Rogue, but this was too good to pass up a chance to tease her roommate. Risty moved to sit on Rogue's bed, leaning against the wall and rested her arms on her knees. "Well, aren't you a little Village person." She smirked at the old teddy bare in her hands. The brown fur was slightly worn, the black faux leather vest and biker hat made her smile. Rogue couldn't have a normal teddy bear, that was points in her favor, but what was the child's toy doing in her sock drawer? Risty's smile became wicked as she stared at it. "You look like a Fritz."
When the door opened Risty watched her roommate step in and look at her confused for a second when she noticed whose bed Risty was on. "Well Fritz," Risty addressed the bear. "Looks like Mama's home."
"What?" Rogue's blush was accompanied by a bit of shock. "I..." Risty would normally enjoy teasing the girl, but Rogue looked a bit too embarrassed.
"It's alright luv," Risty's wicked smile faded to a more gentle one. "So who's your friend?" She held up the bear and gently fake walked him over her knees.
"Mr. Fritz." Rogue gave Risty an odd look and Risty couldn't believe she'd guessed that one. "My momma traveled a lot. He came from Germany." Rogue moved forward and Risty was surprised by the tender way Rogue took him back, seemed to protect him from Risty's gaze with her body. No, no teasing today. "Momma was always buying me things to make up for never being home."
"Oh luv, I'm sorry." Risty spoke quietly, not quite sure why she felt the need to apologize. She hadn't really started teasing yet.
"Ah don't care. It's just a stupid bear." Rogue tossed him a little roughly back into the drawer, but made sure his arms and legs didn't get caught when she closed it. Rogue was tense, a bit defensive, and clearly lying.
"I don't have anything from my family." Risty glanced at the drawer and back at Rogue. "Well, luv, we ready to go?" She was a little uncomfortable with the touchy feely moment. It was time to move on.
********
Rogue glanced at Risty again as the other girl watched the movie. She took in the pale skin, the half smile. Risty really was very pretty. Risty chose the moment to glance at her and smile. She reached out and took Rogue's gloved hand to squeeze it while leaning closer. "Thanks for coming Luv. I know this isn't exactly your type of movie." Her voice was soft as she spoke before turning back to pay attention to the film just starting.
Rogue swallowed and turned to stare at the screen before she got caught looking again. Risty's hand slipping out of hers was a disappointment. Rogue closed her eyes for a moment and imagined the warmth of that touch was still there. She tried to analyze how that made her feel and a slight blush came to her face in the darkness. Risty's touch made Rogue feel alive in a way she hadn't in so long.
"Oh, luv you have got to watch this part." Risty leaned towards her to comment on the movie. "It's bloody brilliant." The theater was showing old movies, black and whites and Risty was captivated by it. The simple pleasure in Risty's face answered so many of Rogue's questions. Her heart seemed to stall as she stared at her companion.
********
"Risty, Ah was thinking." Rogue stammered out as she stared into her dresser mirror. No, too casual. She took a deep breath. "Risty, Ah really like you and I was hoping..." Why not beg, it sounded too desperate.
"Risty Ah was thinking of a movie and dinner. Maybe that nice Italian place you wanted to try." She rehearsed again.
"Sounds great." Rogue spun around in shock to see her roommate slipping in the door and casually heading for the bathroom. "Maybe we could stop by the store and get some more magazines. I'm running out."
When the bathroom door closed Rogue let out a breath of air in shock. She'd been rehearsing for several minutes. She was finally going to ask Risty out on a real date, and... Her jaw clenched as she thought about this. Risty didn't realize it was supposed to be a date. Maybe Rogue should just drop it.
No, she'd planned this. She had reservations just in case. When the door opened again after a few minutes Rogue took a deep breath. "No, Ah was thinking of Friday night, not now." Rogue felt her heart pounding as she took this huge gamble. Her voice softened as Risty finally looked at her, really looked at her. "Ah was asking you out. On a date."
Risty's eyes blinked a few too many times and the silence seemed to kill Rogue slowly. "Oh." was all she got in response. "Rogue, I didn't think... You seemed so hung up on Scott."
"Nevermind." Rogue felt like she'd rather disappear than stay standing right there. Yes she'd been interested in Scott, but Risty... dammit she'd ruined it. She'd ruined their friendship.
"I think Friday's fine." Risty's voice was softer than normal and Rogue looked up into her best friends eyes, not sure she heard it right. "But if we're waiting until Friday, I need to go to the store and get more magazines."
********
Risty felt a bit faint. She hadn't expected this to ever happen. Her initial reaction had been a sense of panic and she couldn't understand it. She didn't really think about things like gender. She always knew she was bisexual, but the thought of dating Rogue worried her. Rogue was her best friend. Maybe she was afraid to screw up their relationship.
Risty moved to grab her jacket and head for the door. "I'll catch a ride with Jean. You want anything?"
"No, Ah'm fine." Rogue gave her a smile, one that reached the somber girl's eyes. Rogue looked happy. That was important. "See yah at dinner."
"Yeah." Risty slipped out the door and focused her eyes on her own walking feet. Rogue was fun to be with, cared about her, didn't make her feel bad about the nightmares keeping Rogue up. Rogue was attractive. Risty could do far worse. Far far worse. Her hands shook a little as she pulled the jacket on. She didn't remember ever having a girlfriend before, but she didn't care what people thought.
Rogue. Risty waited on the front steps for Jean to pull the Jeep up. Jean had shopping duty and Risty managed to get herself an invitation to help just so she could get her magazines. She would have preferred going with Rogue, but right now she could use the time away.
Rogue was always there for her. Rogue's smile made Risty feel something warm and happy. The tension in Risty's back started to fade as she pushed aside her unexpected homophobia, that was what it was and it was ridiculous to worry about what people thought. Rogue made Risty feel like she was home. Maybe they'd be good together. They had so much in common.
********
Rogue sat next to Risty at the theater and gave her a small shy smile. Getting out of the house was easy, they acting like it was a normal night out. Both of them covering the real reason they didn't want Kitty to tag along easily. Kitty had almost ruined it with her whining about being left behind, but when Jean came into the room it stopped. Rogue had the suspicion that Jean had something to do with that.
"Don't eat too much popcorn luv." Risty spoke with a new softness in her voice, one that made Rogue feel it like a caress. "I want appetizers with our dinner. You are paying right?" Risty smirked at her teasingly.
"Yes." Rogue wasn't sure about the ettiquete for lesbian dating, but tonight she planned to pay for everything.
"Well, good. I'm not a cheap date." Risty reached out and took Rogue's hand when the lights went out. "I probably should have warned you."
"Yes, the candy bar was a bit pricey." Rogue smirked at Risty and watched with wide eyes as Risty pushed her purple hair to the side, out of her eyes for a moment while staring at Rogue. So beautiful.
"Wait until I ask for a second raspberry lemonade at dinner. I'll break you for sure." Rogue just tightened her hold on Risty's hand. God, she wished she could feel flesh again, but still the warmth of her was soothing and exciting all at once.
********
by Princess Alexandria
Risty listened to the damned birds singing. Hard to believe her mutant power was to become a Raven when she felt like tossing a book out the window to quiet the local wildlife. The sunny morning was just another in a string of them. Her days were endlessly boring, so much so she actually envied Rogue her homework last night.
The Professor was giving her a break from his stupid counseling. That was a gift today. She didn't like talking about her feelings while he struggled to look like a loving father. She knew better than to believe a man claiming to care about you. Risty's eyebrows drew together as she considered that thought. How did she know?
She rolled onto her stomach lazily and stared over at Rogue's empty bed. Even when Rogue had a day off school she still had to wake up early and train. A slight grimace came to Risty's lips as she thought about that one session where she tried to join them. If Jean hadn't caught her she would have broken her bones again. She couldn't maintain her birdform. Shifting was hard, so very hard. It surprised Risty that she'd ever attempted to fly since she tended to suddenly shift back. The desperation she must have felt to choose to do that scared her.
Thoughts of her torture were never far away. It took all her control to not scream at Summers when he talked about protecting humans. Look what those humans did to her. She couldn't remember it all, but her nightmares filled in gaps that she'd rather forget.
********
Rogue made sure to take the shower stall further away from the other girls on the team, and showered quickly so that she could get back upstairs.
"Hey Rogue, we were thinking about going to the mall." Jean called over to her while the redhead was doing her hair nearby. At least these locker rooms had some privacy. Rogue couldn't take PE at the high school because of her mutation but here there was little risk her teammates would accidently get too close.
"Oh," Rogue pulled her robe on and stepped out of the shower stall. "Ah can't. We're going to the movies." Rogue noticed Jean turn from the mirror to look at her for a little too long. Rogue wouldn't mind going to the mall, but Risty was really eager to see this movie and she'd promised.
"Yeah, you and Risty seem to really get along." Jean spoke a little slower than normal. "It's good."
"What do you mean by that?" Rogue scowl made it clear she didn't like this conversation. She had some feeling she knew where it was going. She'd noticed the looks her and Risty were getting lately.
"It's just," Jean put her brush down and turned to actually face Rogue. "She's nice enough, pretty. You could do worse."
"What are you talking about?" Rogue glared, but she knew full well what Jean was insinuating.
"I'm just saying that if you like her, what's the harm?" Jean gave her that superior smirk and left, leaving Rogue feeling like denying it. Rogue stared at her own reflection before angrily starting to run her own brush through her hair.
"What's the point. Ah can't touch anyone." She muttered too quietly for Jean to hear and felt a dull ache in her chest at that thought. Other girls talked about love with the idea that someday they'd have that. Rogue knew better.
The girl thing wasn't as big an issue as Rogue's damned mutation. Her mothers were gay, so it would be pretty hypocritical for Rogue to have a problem with the fact that... Rogue sighed heavily and listened to the emptiness of the locker room. She was the last one out again. Risty really was everything Rogue would want in a girl, if she decided to go that way.
Her eyebrows drew together as Rogue stared at her reflection. Gay. Did she want to do that? She liked boys well enough. A glance at the clock had her moving a bit faster so that Risty and her could make it on time for the first showing. She didn't need to have these thoughts now.
Her hairbrush was put absently back into her locker as Rogue finished getting dressed. Risty hugged her, and Rogue remembered the warmth of that contact and the lack of fear. Most people were a little scared to be close to Rogue when she wasn't all covered up.
Risty. Rogue nibbled on her bottom lip. Did she want to be gay with Risty? What would Risty say about that if Rogue brought it up? Risty didn't seem homophobic. God damn Jean for making her think about this. Rogue closed her locker slowly and moved to leave more slowly than she'd intended. She felt a bit awkward now about spending time with Risty when she didn't know what she wanted. Was there a point to wanting when she couldn't have?
********
Risty grinned as she stood up holding an unexpected find. She'd been looking to borrow a pair of sock from Rogue, but this was too good to pass up a chance to tease her roommate. Risty moved to sit on Rogue's bed, leaning against the wall and rested her arms on her knees. "Well, aren't you a little Village person." She smirked at the old teddy bare in her hands. The brown fur was slightly worn, the black faux leather vest and biker hat made her smile. Rogue couldn't have a normal teddy bear, that was points in her favor, but what was the child's toy doing in her sock drawer? Risty's smile became wicked as she stared at it. "You look like a Fritz."
When the door opened Risty watched her roommate step in and look at her confused for a second when she noticed whose bed Risty was on. "Well Fritz," Risty addressed the bear. "Looks like Mama's home."
"What?" Rogue's blush was accompanied by a bit of shock. "I..." Risty would normally enjoy teasing the girl, but Rogue looked a bit too embarrassed.
"It's alright luv," Risty's wicked smile faded to a more gentle one. "So who's your friend?" She held up the bear and gently fake walked him over her knees.
"Mr. Fritz." Rogue gave Risty an odd look and Risty couldn't believe she'd guessed that one. "My momma traveled a lot. He came from Germany." Rogue moved forward and Risty was surprised by the tender way Rogue took him back, seemed to protect him from Risty's gaze with her body. No, no teasing today. "Momma was always buying me things to make up for never being home."
"Oh luv, I'm sorry." Risty spoke quietly, not quite sure why she felt the need to apologize. She hadn't really started teasing yet.
"Ah don't care. It's just a stupid bear." Rogue tossed him a little roughly back into the drawer, but made sure his arms and legs didn't get caught when she closed it. Rogue was tense, a bit defensive, and clearly lying.
"I don't have anything from my family." Risty glanced at the drawer and back at Rogue. "Well, luv, we ready to go?" She was a little uncomfortable with the touchy feely moment. It was time to move on.
********
Rogue glanced at Risty again as the other girl watched the movie. She took in the pale skin, the half smile. Risty really was very pretty. Risty chose the moment to glance at her and smile. She reached out and took Rogue's gloved hand to squeeze it while leaning closer. "Thanks for coming Luv. I know this isn't exactly your type of movie." Her voice was soft as she spoke before turning back to pay attention to the film just starting.
Rogue swallowed and turned to stare at the screen before she got caught looking again. Risty's hand slipping out of hers was a disappointment. Rogue closed her eyes for a moment and imagined the warmth of that touch was still there. She tried to analyze how that made her feel and a slight blush came to her face in the darkness. Risty's touch made Rogue feel alive in a way she hadn't in so long.
"Oh, luv you have got to watch this part." Risty leaned towards her to comment on the movie. "It's bloody brilliant." The theater was showing old movies, black and whites and Risty was captivated by it. The simple pleasure in Risty's face answered so many of Rogue's questions. Her heart seemed to stall as she stared at her companion.
********
"Risty, Ah was thinking." Rogue stammered out as she stared into her dresser mirror. No, too casual. She took a deep breath. "Risty, Ah really like you and I was hoping..." Why not beg, it sounded too desperate.
"Risty Ah was thinking of a movie and dinner. Maybe that nice Italian place you wanted to try." She rehearsed again.
"Sounds great." Rogue spun around in shock to see her roommate slipping in the door and casually heading for the bathroom. "Maybe we could stop by the store and get some more magazines. I'm running out."
When the bathroom door closed Rogue let out a breath of air in shock. She'd been rehearsing for several minutes. She was finally going to ask Risty out on a real date, and... Her jaw clenched as she thought about this. Risty didn't realize it was supposed to be a date. Maybe Rogue should just drop it.
No, she'd planned this. She had reservations just in case. When the door opened again after a few minutes Rogue took a deep breath. "No, Ah was thinking of Friday night, not now." Rogue felt her heart pounding as she took this huge gamble. Her voice softened as Risty finally looked at her, really looked at her. "Ah was asking you out. On a date."
Risty's eyes blinked a few too many times and the silence seemed to kill Rogue slowly. "Oh." was all she got in response. "Rogue, I didn't think... You seemed so hung up on Scott."
"Nevermind." Rogue felt like she'd rather disappear than stay standing right there. Yes she'd been interested in Scott, but Risty... dammit she'd ruined it. She'd ruined their friendship.
"I think Friday's fine." Risty's voice was softer than normal and Rogue looked up into her best friends eyes, not sure she heard it right. "But if we're waiting until Friday, I need to go to the store and get more magazines."
********
Risty felt a bit faint. She hadn't expected this to ever happen. Her initial reaction had been a sense of panic and she couldn't understand it. She didn't really think about things like gender. She always knew she was bisexual, but the thought of dating Rogue worried her. Rogue was her best friend. Maybe she was afraid to screw up their relationship.
Risty moved to grab her jacket and head for the door. "I'll catch a ride with Jean. You want anything?"
"No, Ah'm fine." Rogue gave her a smile, one that reached the somber girl's eyes. Rogue looked happy. That was important. "See yah at dinner."
"Yeah." Risty slipped out the door and focused her eyes on her own walking feet. Rogue was fun to be with, cared about her, didn't make her feel bad about the nightmares keeping Rogue up. Rogue was attractive. Risty could do far worse. Far far worse. Her hands shook a little as she pulled the jacket on. She didn't remember ever having a girlfriend before, but she didn't care what people thought.
Rogue. Risty waited on the front steps for Jean to pull the Jeep up. Jean had shopping duty and Risty managed to get herself an invitation to help just so she could get her magazines. She would have preferred going with Rogue, but right now she could use the time away.
Rogue was always there for her. Rogue's smile made Risty feel something warm and happy. The tension in Risty's back started to fade as she pushed aside her unexpected homophobia, that was what it was and it was ridiculous to worry about what people thought. Rogue made Risty feel like she was home. Maybe they'd be good together. They had so much in common.
********
Rogue sat next to Risty at the theater and gave her a small shy smile. Getting out of the house was easy, they acting like it was a normal night out. Both of them covering the real reason they didn't want Kitty to tag along easily. Kitty had almost ruined it with her whining about being left behind, but when Jean came into the room it stopped. Rogue had the suspicion that Jean had something to do with that.
"Don't eat too much popcorn luv." Risty spoke with a new softness in her voice, one that made Rogue feel it like a caress. "I want appetizers with our dinner. You are paying right?" Risty smirked at her teasingly.
"Yes." Rogue wasn't sure about the ettiquete for lesbian dating, but tonight she planned to pay for everything.
"Well, good. I'm not a cheap date." Risty reached out and took Rogue's hand when the lights went out. "I probably should have warned you."
"Yes, the candy bar was a bit pricey." Rogue smirked at Risty and watched with wide eyes as Risty pushed her purple hair to the side, out of her eyes for a moment while staring at Rogue. So beautiful.
"Wait until I ask for a second raspberry lemonade at dinner. I'll break you for sure." Rogue just tightened her hold on Risty's hand. God, she wished she could feel flesh again, but still the warmth of her was soothing and exciting all at once.
********