A.N: OK, so I know it's been awhile and I'm sorry for that. I'm hoping that, after I update this, I'm going to work like a fiend on Running Back. I had wanted to finish that fic by the start of season 3, but it's not working out as well as I thought. So, here's the deal: I'm going to put this fic on hold a bit – I'll be working on it in my own time, like at school and such – but I really need to get Running Back squared away. The next update for that is going to be LONG I want to get a LOT out of the way in that chapter. For instance, the cliffhanger, and other stuff. Just a warning for my RB fans. :D Anywho, for this fic, I want to say, I really like this chapter and how it's coming a long. I haven't decided how much of the "this is what's been going on" chapter I want to cover. I think I'm going to skip to Jude's pov since we already know what Tommy has been through and such, but I want her idea on what's going on…anyway, just an idea for the next chapter. LOL, um…OH! Warning, this chapter probably contains the longest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences. Don't worry, it's suppose to be there, so don't nit-pick my grammar issue there. It needs to be there like that. You'll see what I mean if/when you get to it. OK, I'm done here…I think I said everything…oh! And thanks for the lovely reviews on the last chapter and, as always, enjoy the update!

Chapter 17

Once Kwest arrived, we sat in the living room, the others talking about various people and events I didn't recall. I sighed. I knew that I was supposed to recognize the names and places they were discussing, but nothing came to mind. I might as well have been a total stranger to the three other people in this room.

I glanced around and noticed Kwest was watching me. I met his gaze, but he didn't look away. He continued to stare at me, as if trying to decide what he was going to say. I looked away and down at the carpet. The thought of fleeing and not dealing with this started to sound better by the second.

"Hey, Tom." I looked up as Kwest asked for my attention. He jerked his head towards Jude and Sadie who were now engrossed in conversation. "Why don't we leave the ladies to their gossip." He said, winking.

Suddenly, that idea sounded better than the one I had two seconds ago. I nodded and Kwest smiled at me as we got up and left the room. I followed Kwest as he navigated the foreign house and frustration hit me once again. I knew I should know the floor plan and where we were headed. But I didn't. I couldn't. It didn't matter how hard I wanted to or tried. I couldn't access my long forgotten memories and that hurt more than I can express.

Kwest led us into a dining area and then into a kitchen. He leaned against the island and studied me again.

"OK, man. Spill." Kwest said, rightening himself, his dark eyes daring me to talk. I opened my mouth to say something, but words didn't come out. I sighed and looked away from him. "Look, I know you don't remember me, but I was your best friend. I can tell you're considering running." I looked up at him, surprised he caught up on that, and Kwest continued. "You're more like yourself than you think." He paused, and added "You can trust me."

"For some reason, I know that." I told him. I sighed, heavily and leaned on the island opposite of him. "I just…don't know where to start."

"Just say what comes to mind man." Kwest told me and I sighed.

"I don't think you want to hear what comes to mind." Kwest smiled and for some reason, that gave me the bit of encouragement I needed. "Eight hours ago, I still believed I was someone else. I thought…it doesn't matter what I thought. But I was happy…or at least, I thought I was, and then I find out that I'm this complete other person and no one ever bothered to say anything and now I'm here with people I'm suppose to know, in a house I'm suppose to be familiar with, listening to stories about people I use to know, and I can't remember a damn thing. Not even a glimmer of recognition. I just…" I couldn't find the right words and trailed off, letting my head sag in defeat.

"You're frustrated."

"Among other things." I admitted.

"What other things?" Kwest asked. I looked up at him.

"What if I'm not what Jude expects? What if I can't be the man that she remembers?"

"I told you before, you're more like yourself than you realize." I groaned in frustration and said nothing else. "Tom, Jude doesn't care if you don't remember" I snapped my head up, suddenly angry at that half-finished statement.

"Don't you think she will?!" I demanded. I backed away from the island and paced a moment. Kwest watched me, his eyes uncertain, like he didn't know what exactly he should say to that. My thoughts were so jumbled at the moment, I wasn't even sure what I exactly meant. I continued to pace, trying to get a coherent thought together. "Don't you think she'll care when our daughter asks about something I should know? Don't you think she'll care when she gets sick of giving me the back stories? Don't you think she'll care that I can't remember our wedding or how we meant or when we fell in love? You can't tell me that doesn't mean anything to her."

Kwest was silent a moment, and I stopped pacing and leaned back down on the counter. I put my head in my hands, trying hard to keep my emotions in check. I was angry, depressed, frustrated, and confused all at the same time. I felt like I was coming apart at the seams and I wouldn't be able to stop myself from falling apart.

"They do mean something, Tom." He told me, his voice quiet. "But it's not everything." I didn't say anything. Kwest continued. "I know you don't remember the drama that's Jude and Tommy, but man, I do." He said and I looked up, feeling intrigued by his words. "You were in love with her from the moment you saw her. A 15-year-old winner of an amateur singing contest and thrown into the world of fame. It didn't matter you were seven years her senior; you fell for her and fell hard. I don't know when you started dating, but you two dated in secret for a long time, only to be caught by her father just days before her 18th birthday." Kwest paused, as if gauging my reaction. I was hooked, I had to admit. I wanted to know our story, and at the same time, it almost seemed like someone else. "Stuart made you break up with her, and you did. He threatened to press charges and you thought you could hide the reason from Jude until she turned 18. What you didn't know, was Stuart's job was forcing him to go to New York, and Jude went with him once you broke her heart."

"And Jude found out?"

"A couple years later." Kwest confirmed.

"And then?"

"She came back to Toronto, hoping to make things right." He answered.

"But?" Kwest smiled at me.

"But you were in a relationship. You moved on." The notion intrigued me for some reason.

"With who?" I asked.

"A nurse named Michelle. You guys met in a club one night when you were working." I frowned and had a fleeting thought of Jessica. Jessica's a doctor…it could have…I shook my head.

"But we ended up married?"

"Yes you did."

"And how did that happen?" I asked. Kwest smiled.

"The point I was getting at Tom, is this," I groaned. Kwest laughed and I glared at him. "You two have overcome so much over the past. You two are strong enough to get through this."

"Everyone has a breaking point." I stated and Kwest shrugged.

"But is it the same point for both of you?" He asked and I didn't know how to respond to that. Silence stretched between us as Kwest let me contemplate the thought. "Come on, let's get this show on the road. I'm sure we all want to get the stories over with." Kwest told me and I sighed. "At least, I'd like to know what my best friend has been up to the last three years." He winked at me and I knew it was a tactic to make me relax, and I was thankful for that. I gave Kwest a smile of thanks and we got up and headed back to the living room and the moment I was dreading; the answers and the questions.