Cheating Trust

By: wiccariangoddessofthemoon

Chapter 7: Loving can be bittersweet

The soft click of the door closing was heard on the silent apartment. Usagi was leaning against her balcony railing. She closed her eyes and let her tears spill, but it wasn't long until a desperate cry reached her throat and she started sobbing as she recalled the events that occurred minutes ago.

Flashback:

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she whispered in his ear while he managed a bittersweet smile and allowed himself to stroke her hair. Moments of silence passed, moments in which she was under heavy thinking. A dark mist crept it's way to her and entered her eyes, ears and mouth, her eyes darkened as once again the potion took it's effect.

"I think...we should break up...Mamoru." she said quietly and looked away. He closed his eyes in pain as he felt his heart being stabbed a million times per second. He felt his heart bleeding while he stood frozen in time.

"Why?" he whispered after a minute, his eyes were completely blank. She stood up and turned her back on him. She let a quiet sigh and closed her eyes.

"Because it's true. I don't love you, the one I love is Leon." She answered quietly but loud enough for him to hear. He didn't move but his eyes welled up more. He stared at the floor thinking of an excuse to make her stay with him...even if she did not love him.

"But our destiny! And Chibi..."he started protesting but she cut him off suddenly angry and she turned around.

"So because of our 'so-called-destiny' I have to stick with you! The future is not set in stone! Just because of our past and our destiny were intertwined does not mean I love you! And guess what, I am in love, but not with you! Leon took every chance he had with me and didn't waste one of them. He never made any excuses. He deserves me, and I deserve him. He loves me and I love him. You however took every chance you had to get away from me. You were easily brainwashed by Beryl, and when those nightmares struck you were really eager to obey them. Did you know that the girls threatened him? And even so, he didn't stay away, he was always there." She paused and her eyes softened as she looked away remembering all the times she spent with Leon. A dark figure smirked in a dark corner of her balcony. Mamoru was still rooted to his spot and was currently staring at her with a broken expression.

"He has been there through thick and thin. Whenever I had nightmares from the past, I only needed to call him and he was there in record time. He takes care of me when I'm sick or when I feel bad. ...He's always there." She paused again and the dreamy look vanished into a cold one.

"But you..." she started but he cut her off.

"I love you! What I have done is for your own well-being, Usako! If giving you up means you will keep living and find happiness, I'm willing on doing it! I..." but he was cut off by her as she kneeled and stared at him with a determined expression.

"And what if being happy and living meant being with Leon...are you still willing?" she told him in a quiet but cold voice. When he didn't answer she stood up and smirked.

"Just as I thought. It's true...you will never measure up to him; he would be willing to let me go if it meant my happiness. But since my happiness is at his side... I'll be completely honest with you, Mamoru. Ever since I met him... I've been truly eager to get up in the morning, I'm happier than ever. He always makes me feel like the most beautiful girl...no...like the most beautiful woman. He treats me like a queen and a grown-up. I believe that he has become air to me. Because without air... I cannot live. So I ask you again: are you willing to let me go?" she finished staring straight into his eyes as he cried more. Her eyes softened by his eyes as they displayed the roller coaster of emotions.

"I did not mean to hurt you, Mamoru. But I have to be honest with you. I can no longer be your girlfriend. That kind of relationship with you is not possible. There is no commitment, no..." again she was cut off and caught by surprise when she saw him take a tiny velvet box out of his jacket. Her eyes widened when he got on one knee and in a cracked voice started pleading as he opened the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring with tiny crystals embedded to the silver band.

"Usako, please, I'll do anything. Just please don't leave me! Because just like he is your air, you are mine. I don't know how I can live without you. If you leave me I...I couldn't go on. I can commit, I will do anything you ask. I've been waiting so long to ask you. Marry me, Usako." He pleaded and her hand flew to her mouth. She shook her head fervently and his eyes grew wide in desperation as she backed away.

"Usako?" he called her unsure of her answer, and somehow dreading it.

"How can you do this to me? Is it not enough all that you've made me suffer that you feel necessary to torment me by implying that you will commit suicide if I didn't stay with you? How much lower can you go?" she whispered in disbelief. He cried more and stood up. Uneasily he stepped forward and took her unwilling hands in a gentle grip.

"If it means you staying with me...I don't care what method I use. And it is not a threat, it is a promise. Don't you get it? My life is you. The only reason I keep living is because of you. Suicide it's not the method I had for dying, because my heart is up for the job, for I cannot live without a heart and if you leave me...my heart will shatter into a million tiny pieces." He stood and stared at her eyes. She gasped as her throat dried and she felt a lump. She didn't' know what to do, she just stood looking at his eyes.

'I need more time! I need to think this through! Why are you doing this to me?! I can't think, I need him out, I need time! I love him, but he doesn't deserve it! Leon is the one for me. Why do I feel so confused about my feelings?' she thought in a rush and desperation.

"Leave" her voice was low and almost inaudible but he heard.

"What?" he whispered as his eyes widened and his hands squeezed hers in return. She looked away and repeated.

"I said leave. I need time. I just need time to think...alone. So if you will not do anything else just grant me this wish, that's all I ask." She asked softly trying to calm down. He slowly nodded and leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head so the kiss landed on her cheek. She did not look at him because she knew what she would see: the hurt of a shattering heart. He turned around slowly and walked to the door; once holding the knob he glanced once more at Usagi who had turned her back, he looked down as more tears spilled. The door closed behind him with a soft click.

"God! Why is this happening to me? Why does my heart feel like it's being torn between them? ...I need help." She whispered to no one in particular, she crawled to where her cell phone was as she dialled the number that she knew like the back of her hand.

"Rei? Minako?" she asked when they picked the phone.

"Please help me." She whispered in between tears.

I'm sorry I haven't updated lately, but I've been to wrapped up reading the Twilight saga, plus college, plus the religious organization I belong to in college. I do not know when I'll be able to update again, but please know I plan on continuing this story and all the others, especially Bloody Roses.

Please R&R! no flames please I'm sensitive 'sniff'