A/N: I severly need this for this chapter. Amytal is a real drug with real side effects. It is not experimental and all the medical information came from vast amounts of google searches once my psych book pointed me in the right direction. I read the "medical for dummies" stuff and added terminology to make my doctor sound smart. I hope it's all understandable, and please if you don't understand something, let me know. I'll do my best to answer questions. And, as always, enjoy the chapter, review or die (not really, but ya know), and It's been awhile but it's cuz school sucks and my friends have been kidnapping me lately. ENJOY! OH! Running Back fans, I will have that updated sometime this weekend as well. Maybe earlier…it depends how busy I get.
Chapter 19
After several hours of being poked, prodded, scanned – by both people and machines – told my story seven times, and named the Prime Ministers of Canada, I am finally in a consultation room, waiting on the neurologist to come see me to go over test results or whatever else it is they're going to discuss with me. Jude was pacing the room, apparently anxious for the results. I watched her a moment and dropped my gaze to the floor. I was more nervous than anything. What would happen if I'd never remember?
"How can you be so calm?" Jude asked, wringing her hands as she passed by me for the millionth time. If she wasn't careful, she'd probably burn a hole in the carpet.
"I'm not." I told her, looking up. "Inside, I'm freaking out." I told her. The reason I was so placid? I was bone-tired from the endless hours of tests. I wanted to sleep. My brain, on the other hand, was wired and processing thoughts one million times per second. Jude stopped her pacing and took my hand.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, her voice and eyes full of concern.
"Tired," I told her. She gave me a small smile and touched my cheek. She looked about ready to say something when the door opened.
We both looked towards the door to see a middle aged man step into the room. He wore a blue polo shirt, black pants, and the tell-tale white lab coat. His hair a dark brown and eyes a kind blue. He glanced back down at the manila folder in his hands, the file containing all the information from my age, test results, to the number of parking tickets I've received.
"Hello, Mr. Quincy," The neurologist greeted, setting the file open on the counter across from me. He stepped over to us and shook my hand and then turned to Jude and shook hers. "I'm Dr. Bob Franchi," He introduced. "And you must be Mrs. Quincy?" Jude nodded and Dr. Franchi sat down across from us and sighed. "I have good news and not so good news," He told us, looking grim. Jude glanced over at me and I gave her a reassuring smile. "First, I want to tell you a bit about your condition, if that's alright." Jude and I nodded and he smiled. "Good. Now, Mr. Quincy-"
"Tom." I told him, not liking the formality.
"Tom, you have what we call, Retrograde Amnesia. It's a condition where memory is lost prior to the accident. Total retrograde is extremely rare. Most often, there's select memories lost and only for a period of time."
"So you're saying…what, exactly?" Jude asked.
"Your husband's condition is extremely rare. I'm surprised he hasn't regained his memories so far." Dr. Franchi told us honestly. "But that's just the icing to your husband's condition." Jude gripped my hand hard.
"Is this permanent?" Jude asked.
"I'm working towards that, Mrs. Quincy."
"Jude."
"Jude." He reached into my file and pulled out the MRI scans and hung them up by the light. "It is believed that long term memory is stored in the cortex of the brain." Dr Franchi told us. "The cortex are those grooves and valleys on the surface of the brain." He glanced at us to see if we were following. "Here is where it gets tricky." He told us and took a deep breath. "Psychologists and Neurologists do not exactly know what is stored where and how. The brain is a very complicated organ and it is hard to exactly pinpoint what is stored where. It is believed that damage to this area-" He pointed it out by circling the area with a pointer "The hippocampus can cause the loss of biological information. In testing, damage done to that area of the brain results in lose of personal information and the subjects still retained the abilities to learn new tasks, remember old tasks and everyday things." He paused. "Make sense?"
"So, you're saying I'm brain damaged?" I asked, feeling confused. Dr. Franchi nodded.
"So this isn't…"
"You see these dark areas on the surface of the brain?" Jude and I nodded. "These areas indicate no brain activity. From what I gather, the tissue here is deeply scarred, hampering your ability to remember things such as your personal past." "
So there's nothing we can do?" Jude asked, looking devastated.
"I didn't say that. There are options. In the research studies so far, it has been shown that the memories regain themselves. It's almost as if the brain moves the information somewhere else and it takes it time to retrain itself in where to retrieve that information from."
"So, I'll remember?"
"I don't know for sure." He stated honestly. "The longer the time passes between the damage and the memory lapses, the less likely it is that you will ever remember." I looked at Jude to see how she was processing the information. She looked about ready to cry at the news.
"How did he get brain damaged?" Jude asked him. Dr. Franchi sighed.
"I cannot give you full knowledge without the medical records from the accident."
"Off the record." Jude stated.
"From what I've learned from Tom's testimony, I believe it was doctor error."
"How do you mean?" I asked, sitting straighter.
"These scars on the surface of the cortex are too clean. Most of them." He stated, showing us the patterns. "It almost seems as if an amateur surgeon worked on relieving cranial pressure. I believe – it is possible – that the memory loss was not a direct cause of the accident itself. At least, not the permanency of it."
"Is there anything we can do?" I asked, feeling numb to the situation.
"There are options." Dr. Franchi told us.
"There's the option of additional surgery. It's extremely risky, but it's possible once the scar tissue is removed, and recovery is successful, the memories will return."
"That sounds dangerous."
"It is. I would not recommend it, but it is a treatment option."
"What else?" I asked.
"There's hypnosis. There's issues with the topic itself, if the memories regained are real or not or just suggestion." Dr. Franchi continued. "Other forms of Psychotherapy are also options."
"I don't like the idea of a therapist." I stated, not at all liking the thought of talking to some shrink about my life. No thanks.
"Well, there is another option." Dr Franchi said, looking thoughtful. Jude perked up and I listened closely. "There's an experimental drug called Amytal. It's a series of injections and its trials have shown that it is successful in helping the brain reprogram memories lost to amnesia cases similar to yours."
"The downside?"
"It's not yet approved by Health Canada." (A/N: I looked it up, the Canadian version of the FDA)
"How not approved?" Jude asked.
"No major side effects, it's just still in trial." Dr Franchi stated. "The most severe, and rare, side effects have been hallucination, allergy, hives, wheezing, anemia, and rickets."
"So, it's relatively safe?" I asked and Dr. Franchi nodded.
"I'd have to petition to get you into the trials, if you wanted, but I don't see why they'd turn your case down."
"That seems like the best option." I stated, looking at Jude who looked worried. She sighed.
"I'll let you think it over." He told us, and gave us his card. "You can call me with your decision."
"Thanks." Jude said, looking relieved. I sighed. I already knew I wanted to do this. I needed to do this.
"Any other questions?" He asked us and I shook my head and looked at Jude. She didn't seem to have anything else either. "If you think of anything else as well, call that number as well. I'll be happy to go over anything with you again or answer further questions."
"Thank you, Dr. Franchi." Jude said and he gave us a kind smile. "You're welcome. Now, there's something else I need to discuss." Jude frowned and I took a deep breath, preparing myself for bad news. "Tom is legally dead. I'm going to have to go through the proper channels to declare him alive."
"The press." Jude said, her voice coming out in a heavy sigh. I was still confused. What about the press? "they'll be all over it." Oh.
"I can wait a day or two before making the announcement, so you can prepare yourselves, but I cannot hold out longer than that."
"It'd be appreciated if you could hold it for at least 24 hours. I'd like to notify all our friends first." Dr. Franchi nodded and made a note on Tom's chart.
"How about tomorrow, 6 pm I'll put through the paperwork. That work?" He asked and we nodded in agreement. He gave us a kind smile. "And no other questions came to mind?"
"No." Jude said, looking over at me and I shrugged. Nothing that I didn't already have anyway. "Thank you Doctor." Jude said and he shook her hand. He turned to me and we also shook hands and he left the room.
"You ready to go?" Jude asked me and I nodded.
We left the office and headed towards the exit of the hospital. We made it to the car and I collapsed into the passenger seat, wanting nothing more than to sleep.
"You ok?" Jude asked and I nodded.
"Just tired." I told her honestly and she nodded before starting the car.
"Want me to drop you off before getting Bri from Sades?"
"No, I'll be fine." I told her and she backed out of the parking spot as I closed my eyes.