-sniffs- -cough- Nyyyyaaaa...-- Bite my head off if you want, I couldn't care less, I'm sick, I'm ignoring you; that's what sick people do, they ignore people. Anyways, here it is:

PS: MAJOR BREAKING DAWN SPOILER, -cough- pregnancy and shit. Oh whatever if you haven't read it then screw off and go read it NOW. And take notice: I wrote this fanfic BEFORE Breaking Dawn came out so some things don't match, like Bella being a blood thirsty person, the only thing I changed in the original manuscript of this fic is the baby's name... and yeah...you've been warned...

PSS- THE END IS HERE BIYATCH!!W000T!

Edward's P.O.V.

'I'm tired of this, I want to die. To go away completely and stop being a burden, to stop feeling full of hatred and anger towards myself. I feel like everything is crashing down on me that everything is going wrong and burning deeply in hell. I'm a bloodthirsty beast, for God's sake! Edward is so stressed, trying to keep me from eating everyone in Forks, taking care of Reneesme. Ah...Renesmee, my baby...not even my own child can be near me or I'll go crazy. I want to touch her, feel her, cradle her in my arms, I want to be able to do so many things with her but Edward says I lack the self-control for it. It pains me so much when my girl looks at me with her big brown eyes-longing for her mother- it's almost as painful as when Edward's venom was coursing through me.

It's a constant battle with Edward when I tell him I want to go out to test myself. I want to see if I'm ready! I've improved! I proved it to him! I held Renesmee for more than thirty minutes without thinking of her blood for even a second! But he says no, he says to wait a bit more, he thinks I can handle being away from my child just a bit longer...but my face shows how much pain I go through without my girl. My face is smileless, and it hurts to know that my lifeless expression hurts the love of my life. Edward's attempts at making me laugh are futile...'

I finished reading the entry in Bella's diary. My stomach dropped. I had caused her all this pain? Every time I told her no she felt this way? I had caused the nights of crying and screaming?

Alice had been wrong. Her pain had not passed.

How could she have kept it from me!? I could have made exceptions when her behavior was controllable! I'd been breaking her all along...I shouldn't have kept our daughter from her...I should've trusted her when she said she could handle it...

"Edward? Hey, what are you--is that my diary?!" Bella snatched the book from my hands and stared at me with her big, golden eyes. I stared back calmly until I thought she was calm. I was wrong, oh boy, she was FAR from calm.

"What in hell were you doing in my crap!?" She roared and all the commotion that there had been downstairs instantly faded. Everyone was listening. "Huh Edward?! Do you know how much I knew this would hurt you?! That's why I hid it in the first place!!"

The atmosphere suddenly went from psychopathic angry to eerily calm, I relaxed but Bella stood rigidly.

"Screw off Jasper!! This is NONE of your business!!" Bella screeched. Jasper's voice came from downstairs:

"Sorry!"

"Peh, don't worry love, you'll get them horny in about five to ten minutes." Alice's voice echoed and Bella silently cursed her off.

"I heard that, Bella!"

"Shut it Alice!" I laughed. Bella's anger was hilarious to me. But then I frowned and walked to her, stroking her cheek with the back of my hand, she relaxed instantly under my touch.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?" I whispered, my chest felt tight all of a sudden, as if a new-born vampire was squeezing me to death.

"Because I didn't want you to get hurt!!" Bella whined, "I didn't want you to feel what I had felt! All the hatred and sadness and...damn it..." She let out a deep, heavy sob.

"Shh...don't cry Bella, love." I held her face between my hands and rested my forehead against hers, "I'm not hurt...I'm just...do you still feel like this? Are you still in pain because of my own stupidity?" I shook her slightly.

"Of course not!!" She wailed, "I feel bliss Edward! All the pain is gone, I'm happy! Knowing that I can finally be with you forever is pure bliss!! And now that I can actually control myself and hold my baby I feel even better! The wait was worth it, Edward!" She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"Ouch ouch ouch," I loosened her arms from around me and grinned, "don't kill me, love." Bella smiled and kissed me.

And just like Alice had predicted Jasper changed the mood to pure lust, and in seconds Bella and I were a tangled mess on the bed, making love. Downstairs Alice laughed:

"Emmett, I told you they would do it! You owe me a brand new car bitch!!"

(jumps for joy) It's finally over!! I really hoped you guys enjoyed this story! I have absolutely NO idea if I'll be writing more Twilight fanfics, right now I'm just pretty preoccupied with getting my Breaking Dawn copy back. My friend (Tiffany the one that wrote this with me) took it with her to Washington. Damn it. But yes, I wanna thank you for reading my story and blah blah blah!! Love you people!!

Sincerely,

Maria-chan.