Season 1 Episode 14: What he doesn't know won't hurt him

Episode Guide: Dick saves the day, a secret is spilled and family-ties are tested.

The halls are filled with excited chit-chat and gossip about the upcoming dance. The giggles and blithe spirit are lost on the two teenagers in the middle of the quad who are intently pouring over a credit report. The bell rings and Veronica promises to tell Logan when the card-holders signature comes through before scurrying off, trying her best to keep up appearances.

"Hey Veronica." Logan says suddenly, grabbing her arm before she can head to class. For a brief moment Veronica panics trying to convey with her eyes that this is not the place for them to be touching. "Thanks, you know, for helping out with this." The shinning sincerity in his eyes makes any pretense of anger fly away from Veronica and she nods gently.
"I know what it's like." It's a rare event that Logan and Veronica talk about her mother but it was no secret the pain her leaving gave Veronica. A couple walks by holding hands and Logan gives them a longing look. He hates sneaking around, only kissing Veronica in smelly janitor's closets or under bleachers as if she is something to be ashamed of. Sure the hidden relationship premise seems romantic but it's getting old for both of them. He sees Duncan in the decorated gym ordering people around to get ready for the dance.
"Let's tell him now." Springing this on him while he is in the middle of organizing the mother of all school activities may not be the best idea Logan's had but he's tired of hiding.
"I forgot my protective armor." Veronica mumbles sarcastically. To be honest, she thinks they are blowing this declaration way out of proportion. Duncan has many options girl-wise and Veronica isn't conceited enough to think he spent over a year pining after her.

"Hey DK." Duncan looks up from his clipboard and smiles warmly. No, Duncan Kane is not the love of Veronica's life, but she still cares about him. Whether or not they were dating Duncan has been an instrumental part of Veronica's life since Lilly pushed them together years earlier.

flashback

"Ve-ron-i-ca, he likes you, you like him I really don't see the issue here." Lilly says bored with her friend's incessant nattering over Duncan. Veronica twirls the end of her long, blonde hair thoughtfully. "Just go up and kiss him that's what I did with Logan."
"Logan isn't Duncan Lilly."
"That would be twisted on so many levels." Lilly says throwing Veronica a disgusted look. "Ok you know what I've had enough of this crap I want fun Veronica back not pouty Veronica." She grabs Veronica's wrist and pulls her off the bed.
"Lilly where are you taking me." She doesn't respond but she throws the door open to Duncan's bedroom. Duncan looks up from his computer surprised than looks away quickly when he meets Veronica's eye. God he's been doing that for the past week. Before it was all normal and now it's all awkward.
"Donut you like Veronica." Duncan flushes to the tips of his ears and is about to say something when Lilly cuts him off. "Veronica you like Donut for whatever reason." Veronica's own face soon matches the tomato red of Duncan's. "Ok since you two are obviously incapable of doing anything without me I am 

officially making you a couple…happy?"
"Lil –" Duncan starts but it immediately cut off by his sister.
"Duncan you like her don't you?" This is so awkward. Duncan looks at Veronica with an unsure smile and nods sheepishly. "And she's been pining away for you for the past friggin week and it's getting on my nerves so Duncan be a gentleman and ask her out." Duncan laughs in spite of himself and looks at the pretty blonde.
"Veronica would you like to go out on a date with me?" Veronica laughs as well and Lilly squeals with delight when the younger girl nod.
"Ok Duncan, V and I need to have real girl talk now and you need to call Logan and gloat or piss in a circle or whatever you boys do."
end flashback

"Too much glitter?" Duncan's voice cuts in to Veronica's memory and she looks up momentarily confused by the comment.
"Huh?"
"You've been staring into space for the last few seconds." Duncan looks between both friends expectantly. "Is everything ok?
"Yes." The word is out of both of their mouths too quickly to be true and Duncan's confusion deepens.
"Uh…we kind of need to talk to you" Logan says tightly before looking around at the other student council members. "Privately"

They head to a small classroom beside the gym and Veronica wants to fast-forward 4 minutes to when the explanations are finished and Duncan is laughing at Logan's secretive nature.
"So…" The tense silence is broken by Duncan who is trying to conquer up some scenario that would make them look this grim. A break in Lilly's case perhaps?
"Veronica and I are…dating." Logan says with a twinge of apprehension in his voice. All hope that Duncan would shrug the news off evaporates when his face darkens and he stares at Logan with maniacal coldness. The look on Duncan's face catches Veronica by surprise and she is about to jump in to explain, apologize, or find some way to salvage the friendship Logan treasures most. Before she can speak Duncan flies at Logan sending them both flying to the ground.

Completely thrown off-guard, Logan doesn't block the punch to his nose.
"Duncan I'm not going to fight you." Logan yells. He doesn't punch Duncan; that would rub salt in the wound, instead he tries to shove him off.

"Duncan stop it you're hurting him." Veronica says as calmly as she can. Ignoring Logan's hand which is frantically waving her back, Veronica walks towards the brawl starting to sprint when she finds Duncan's fingers wrapped firmly around Logan's throat. "DUNCAN LET GO." Veronica doesn't even notice the fact that she sounds like a hysterical teenager as she tries to loosen Duncan fingers from Logan's neck. Her boyfriend makes a choking noise and the pale tint of his face makes Veronica's heart rate increase. "DUNCAN STOP IT." Suddenly the door bursts open to reveal Dick Casablancas who just stares at the scene in confusion wondering which of the two friends he should be defending.


"Dick help me." Veronica exclaims finally cluing Dick in to the fingers around Logan's throat. Immediately, Dick tackles Duncan off Logan.
"DK what the fuck!" Dick exclaims and Veronica rushes over to Logan who is sitting on the floor rubbing his neck facing away from Duncan. Veronica quickly drops to her knees and raises a hand to Logan's face.

"Are you ok?" He nods weakly and Veronica looks over Logan's shoulder to Duncan slumped on the ground unconscious. "Duncan?" Still on her knees Veronica slides over to her ex-boyfriend. Trying to forget the fact he just tried to strangle Logan, she turns him over and rests his head on her lap.

"Logan call an ambulance." She says quickly when Duncan doesn't respond to her hand on his brow. "Dick get the nurse." Both boys look concerned for their friend and immediately go about their tasks. Logan keeps a wary eye on Duncan as he sputters instructions in to the phone.
"Duncan can you hear me?" Veronica tries again gently delivering a few soft slaps on his cheeks. Immediately his eyes flicker open and both Veronica and Logan exhale gratefully.

"V-Veronica?" He stutters as if he doesn't understand the situation at all.
"Yeah I'm right here." It seems as though some memories come back as he focuses more clearly on Veronica's face.
"What happened? Did I hurt you?" Both Logan and Veronica share a look of concern when they realize Duncan doesn't remember. Logan rubs the hand print on his neck and stares out the window thoughtfully as Veronica turns back to Duncan.
"I'm fine, everyone's fine." Veronica soothes in an attempt to side-step the awkward question of what happened. "You might want to bake your BFF some cookies though." Her attempt to lighten the mood doesn't work and Duncan's face scrunches in panic.
"Logan? What happened? Is he ok?" The whole scenario just makes Veronica want to puke and she is beyond grateful that the EMTs pick that moment to show up and strap Duncan to a stretcher. "Is Logan ok?" He asks again. Logan is just out of Duncan's view staring out the window, looking pale with the imprints of two large hands on his neck and blood oozing from his nose. No would be the honest answer.

"I'm fine DK" Logan forces a smile on his face and his voice breaks a little on the end. Veronica wonders briefly why the nurse is handing over a fat file to the emergency technicians. Before she can contemplate it anymore Duncan is being wheeled away and both Logan and Veronica are left in the darkened classroom.

"What the fuck just happened?" Dick asks in absolute confusion. Logan just shrugs helplessly and sits facing away from both Dick and Veronica as he remembers the feel of Duncan's hands on his throat. It was surreal at that moment he was sure he was going to die because Duncan's face morphed into Aaron's and Veronica's call for help resembled his mother. Duncan just almost killed him over a girl. "I mean are you guys like dating now?" Veronica mumbles yes mostly to get Dick out of the room, and walks over to Logan who is still deep in thought. Instinctively, he reaches out for her and pulls her in tight as she rests her head on his large shoulder. It's unclear if he is trying to comfort her or himself but the act manages to do both.



"Are you ok?" He whispers in her ear realizing she is still shaking slightly from the encounter. She just nods and leans away to inspect his face.
"Yeah. C'mon, let's get you cleaned up at the nurse's station." Veronica says tenderly running her finger alongside his bloody nose. Instead of agreeing Logan shakes his head and wipes the blood off his nose with his sleeve.
"Let's just go to the hospital. I'm sure they'll spare me a gauze pad." The blank look and monotone that Logan has just adopted makes Veronica even more worried. When he takes Veronica's hand in the middle of the hall-way it seems slightly anti-climactic. Both are in their own little bubble wondering about Duncan when Madison flounces up, flanked by Shelley and Pam.

"What is this?" She demands gesturing between the two worn out teenagers. Normally Logan would delight in telling off Madison and he had been waiting for the day he got to defend Veronica to his friends and force them to see the amazing woman he saw. Unfortunately right now he was tired, sore and angry.

"What does it look like Madison?" Logan says with an eye-roll. "Look if you have a problem with my girlfriend then you're free to walk out of my life." The comment comes out with more sting than Logan meant it too and Madison steps back, a little stunned by the gesture. "That pretty much goes for everyone here. IF you have a problem with Veronica you are pretty much dead to me so just like, I dunno evaporate of something." Despite the situation Veronica can't help a small smile from playing at her lips as Madison and her flunkies stare at him in shock. "An ambulance just drove away and really all you can think about is who I am dating? Seriously do you have a…"
"Logan…" Veronica cuts in to his tirade and squeezes his hand in a placating manner. Both his rage and his frustration are understandable to her but she doesn't want it poured in the middle of the hallway where anyone can twist his words. "Duncan needs us right now." She says calmly when he doesn't back away from Madison. Knowing that seeing Duncan is more important than reenacting a Springer show with Madison, he lets Veronica take his hand and tug him to the Xterrra.

The silence is uncomfortable, both parties desperately trying to figure out what compelled Duncan, who is usually calm and rational and everything that does not equal physical violence, to attack his best friend. Sure, a punch might have happened if Duncan was feeling especially peevish and dramatic but strangulation was taking the pissing contest a little far. Logan has barely looked from the road the entire time. They haven't shared a word since Madison's confrontation and Veronica's pretty sure the only reason he is holding her hand is because he is too numb to let it go. The car is parked but just before Logan jumps out Veronica puts a hand on his forearm.

"Thanks."
"For what." He replies listlessly.
"For what you said to Madison." This doesn't evoke a reaction.
"It was nothing."
"It was something to me." Logan just sighs a little and nods before getting out of the Xterra. Veronica lengthens her stride to catch up and he immediately slows and takes her hand, brushing a kiss over his girlfriend's knuckles before they enter.



"Duncan Kane." Logan says to a pretty nurse working the front entrance.
"Are you family?"
"Yes" Logan says without hesitation. The nurse looks up at him and Logan stares back, daring her to defy him.
"Room 807. Let me get a doctor for your nose." Logan shakes his head no and says something about how it's not broken. Experience has taught him these things. Nevertheless Veronica takes him in to the bathroom and softly dabs the blood away from his face with a paper towel.

"Are you sure you don't want some ice?" Veronica asks again noticing the slight swelling. Stubbornly, Logan refuses and Veronica doesn't want to fight him right now so she lets him drag her to Duncan's room.

"Maybe I should just wait out here." Logan mumbles gesturing to a small waiting area outside Duncan's room. Considering he was the one who hurried her here Veronica just gives him a questioning look "I'm guessing I'm not the first person he wants to see." Veronica notices the deep sadness flicker across Logan's face before he puts on his mask of indifference. With a small sigh she walks over to him and wraps her arms around his waist. If their relationship is going to survive they are going to have to stop putting on masks in front of each other.
"Logan he'll want to see you." She pleads. Logan just shakes his head, refusing Veronica's offer of support. He is Logan Echolls he didn't need people. Instead of looking in to the face of his disappointed girlfriend he flexes and unflexes his fist watching her enter his best friend's room out of the corner of his eye.

Duncan is pale and tossing fitfully in his sleep. A long IV is connected to the back of his hand pumping one powerful drug or another through his system. Habitually, Veronica scans the room for any information on his condition. Realizing there is none, she pulls a plastic chair beside his bed and gently takes his hand in hers. The contact immediately wakes Duncan who glances sideways at her before turning his eyes up to the ceiling and swallowing a lump in his throat.

"How are you feeling?" The genuine concern in Veronica's voice makes the whole situation worse and only adds to Duncan's humiliation. What kind of person tries to strangle their best friend?
"Fine" The terse reply causes Veronica to release his clammy hand. She is sitting there, waiting him out. Duncan can tell by the set of her jaw she isn't going anywhere until he knows everything. It's obvious to Duncan that she knows his attack on Logan was not intentional. If she thought for a moment it was she wouldn't be here all gentleness and worry, in fact she wouldn't be here at all. "How's Logan?" He croaks finally remembering the cause of the whole episode.
"Worried about you." Veronica answers honestly. The kind tone in her voice causes Duncan to look at her again. "He didn't think you'd want to see him." Duncan eyes flit back to the ceiling again. "What's going on Duncan?" She asks after a few minutes of drawn out silence.
"It's nothing.' Duncan snaps a little harder than he meant to.
"Nothing?! Duncan you just attacked Logan. He is sitting out there completely torn-up, hurt and confused because his best friend tried to strangle him." A momentary pang of regret curses through Veronica as Duncan shuts his eyes in pain, obviously horrified by the memory. "Duncan, talk to me 

please." For one horrifying moment it feels like she is back at the Kane mansion begging him to tell her where Lilly was. "We care about you Duncan, so much. Let us be there for you." Veronica isn't used to admitting she cares about people and the gentle words come out whiney rather than supportive. The sincerity isn't lost on Duncan though. Something about the statement gets through to him and a trail of moisture leaks from his eye soundlessly.

"I have type IV epilepsy." His voice is so quiet Veronica can barely hear it. Quickly, she forces her shock and confusion down and reaches over to wipe the tear off his face. It was her who forced him to spill what was obviously a very well kept secret and she doesn't want to be another reason for his discomfort.
"Ok." Her voice as stronger than his and she keeps it level in an attempt to convey her acceptance and understanding. "So what does that mean exactly?" Duncan sighs shutting his eyes momentarily. Trusting Veronica has never been an issue. Over a year of dating taught him that she could keep a secret but he doesn't want her looking at him differently, treating him with the same annoying care his mother does. Noticing his reluctance, Veronica takes his hand again and gives it an encouraging squeeze. There's no point in lying to her, Duncan knows this. If he doesn't tell her she'll shimmy in to the doctor's office and pluck his file herself. Might as well hear it straight from the horse's mouth.
"It's like I have these fits sometimes." Veronica's expression doesn't change and she just gives a little nod of acknowledgment to urge him on. "I take medication so they're rare but…" He trails off at the end and neither needs the sentence finished.
"So early on in the year when you were sick that day at my apartment…" Veronica quizzes remembering when Duncan fell asleep haggard and pale on her couch.
"No." The innocent questioned opens a new can of worms "I was going cold turkey off anti-depressants." The previously neutral expression on Veronica's face turns to one of sympathy, confusion and a little indignation.
"Duncan, why wouldn't you just tell us?" She demands incredulously before remembering her own secrets and softening her tone. "I mean going cold turkey off anti-depressants? That couldn't have been easy. We could have helped you". There definitely wasn't anything easy about going off the anti-depressants. A few days of nausea, visions of Lilly that seemed so real he ended up in tears when the illusion broke and he had to accept her death all over again, and dreams that made a Nightmare on Elm Street seem like child's play. In fact, Duncan is pretty sure the only reason he didn't go back to the drugs was the traffic ticket: a tangible piece of evidence that did not fit with the timeline, which threw everything off. Thinking back Duncan realizes it would have been nice to have Veronica soothe away the images of Lilly or to have Logan simply dump the bottle of pills down the toilet wordlessly before whipping out video games. Duncan hadn't told Veronica because, in her mind, he was still the Golden Boy. The Kane heir that managed to walk away from disaster unscathed and, to be honest, it was nice to have someone like Veronica think so highly of him even after the crap he put her through. Telling Logan wasn't an option. Even without the investigation taking weird twists Logan would have thrown out the bottle of pills and yelled at Duncan until they both had migraines. Logan hated drugs, all drugs with a passion, something, Duncan is sure, Lynn is to thank for.

"Logan's outside. Can I get him for you?" Duncan nods wordlessly struggling to keep the emotion off his face.



Logan breathes a little easier when Veronica exits the room looking pensive and tired but not afraid or exceptionally upset. His nose is fine now, sore, but fine, but the feel of Duncan's hands wrapped tightly around his throat still remains fresh. There was no doubt that Duncan would have killed Logan, squeezed his neck shut until Logan finally sputtered and stopped breathing. It was worse than anything Aaron has ever done to him. Not more painful but Duncan was Logan's safe place. He is the guy who grabs his car keys when Logan tries to drink his weight in alcohol, who nonchalantly gave him the pass code to the Kane estate and simply said to come over whenever, who never let Hector get a decent punch in the day the tabloid pictures decorated Logan's locker.

Instead of forcing Logan to go in Veronica simply sits him down and tells him gently about the epilepsy. Logan feels guilty when he breathes a sigh of relief but he'd rather have a friend with a barely noticeable mental tick rather than a friend who would voluntarily try to kill him.
"Is he ok now?"
"Ask him yourself Logan." It's hard to think of what to say to a guy who just tried to kill you, especially when that person is your best friend. Veronica just smiles sympathetically and points to the door before sitting down herself in the waiting room, ending the debate.

Duncan just keeps his eyes fixed on the wall when Logan enters. As close as the boys were neither one was really good at the touchy-feely crap. The fact that hospitals freak the shit out of Logan isn't helping matters and Duncan can't help but smirk when Logan eyes the medical supplies like they might come alive and chop him to pieces.
"I'm flattered you braved the big, bad hospital to come see me." When in doubt and dealing with Logan, quip. Logan's only response is to fake a smile and cross his arms defensively. It's at that moment Duncan wonders how he missed the obvious signs they were together. The arm crossing that mirrors Veronica's, the vicious attack on Dick, Veronica never seeming to leave the Echolls residence after she heard of Lynn, their subtle nuances have rubbed off on each other.
"Yeah well you could say I was a bit miffed by the afternoon's activity." It's obvious Logan really wants to deflect the situation with humor but Duncan can tell his hearts not into it. He's hurt and confused, plain and simple. "Epilepsy Duncan?" Logan continues disbelievingly but not harshly "Why didn't you say anything? It's not like you have some rare, contagious penis eating fungus." The idea is so ridiculous that Duncan laughs despite the situation.
"I wasn't aware that existed." Duncan says with a smile before taking a deep breath and sobering again. "Celeste didn't want people finding out." This does it for Logan. He has stood by Duncan with unwavering loyalty since Duncan stopped Charlie Godan from eating his new box of crayons in kindergarten. They've been best friends, as clichéd as that is. How many times has Logan hit someone, ignored someone, yelled at someone for Duncan? There is no doubt that Duncan does the same for Logan so in what universe does Logan get lumped in with the masses.
"Since when am I fucking 'people' Duncan?' We've been best friends since kindergarten. How could you have kept this a secret from me?" The hypocrisy of the situation is beginning to get to Duncan and he simply narrows his eyes and looks at Logan pointedly.
"You have no secrets Logan?" He challenges.
"Not like that and not from you!" Logan spits back without really considering the validity of the 

statement.
"Really?" Without thinking it through Duncan grabs Logan's arm and points to a long white scar. "No secrets Logan? How did you get this scar?" Both boys freeze instantly. An apologetic expression quickly settles on Duncan's face as he realizes he pushed too far. Before he can stammer out an apology Logan is wrenching his hand from Duncan's grip and storming out in to the hallway.

Veronica is passively flipping through a pregnancy magazine, marveling at the gross pictures, when Logan storms down the small hallway to her. In a rare moment of conscience Veronica had sat on the furthest chair away and had not eavesdropped at all on what she thought was going to be some sort of man apology thing. Needless to say she is surprised to see Logan in a fit of blind rage.

"Did you tell him?" Veronica just raises a confused eyebrow, thankful nobody else is in the waiting room. "Did you tell him?" If Veronica didn't know Logan the way she did she'd be honest to god scared of him right now.
"Logan calm down." She responds urgently. Unfortunately her reply sounds too much like an admission for Logan's taste and steps away in angry shock. In his weakest moment he had trusted her with his biggest secret. Something, that up until now, he was grateful for. There was someone to share the lead weight that was his father's abuse, someone to stroke his hair and kiss his bruises. Veronica understood the system. She knew that Aaron would never get convicted and would simply hurt Logan more if he tried to go to the police so she never pushed him. No, there was no unrealistic plans for justice just silent, gentle support as the painkillers wore off. Logan trusted her with so much and she had betrayed that trust to Duncan? In his fury he is about to bolt, run far away from Veronica Mars until he can process this without the unnerving desire to scream at her. Seeing his impulse Veronica firmly grabs his wrist.

"Tell Duncan what?" The concern and confusion are evident in her voice as she tries desperately to get through to her boyfriend. "Logan, I have no idea what you are talking about." Logan prides himself on being able to judge people's sincerity. Growing up with famous parents will do that to you. But never, in 17 years, has been so happy to see utter confusion. He allows Veronica to lead him to a chair and he leans in close enough to whisper. Sure they're alone but they still are in a public place and his previous display was bad enough.
"Did you tell Duncan about Aaron Echolls Daddy Dearest?" Veronica gasps a little as she understands both his anger and his hurt. Immediately she begins to shake her head. Every part of Logan wants to believe her. Every part of him is desperate, in fact, to believe he has someone to trust. The rational part of him realizes that this desire may be fueling his easy acceptance of her answer so he looks around, conflicted.
"No Logan." Veronica says sandwiching Logan's face in her hands, staring in to Logan' eyes which are swirling with emotion. "Logan I didn't tell Duncan anything about your father I swear to God." Her blue eyes are concerned and sympathetic but more importantly they're adamant and sincere. Not even Veronica Mars is this good a liar and that realization causes Logan to sigh in relief. He slumps over in his chair and Veronica gently places a hand on his shoulder.



"Duncan knows?" She asks in disbelief. To be honest it surprises her. By all rights Duncan should have figured it out. All the unexplained sleepovers at the Kane house, Logan's occasional hesitancy to take his shirt off, excused absences from P.E., Duncan was smart and Logan was his best friend. The only reason Veronica figured Duncan was oblivious was because nothing had happened. Duncan was as protective as Logan when it came to the ones he loved and Veronica assumed that if he even knew what Aaron did to Logan that he would look through law books, bills of rights, anything to 'save' Logan. One common thread between Logan and Duncan is their hero complex. "He won't say anything." Veronica says reassuringly moving on to Logan's lap. Without quip she lets him cuddle her close and bury his head into her neck. One of Logan's favorite things about Veronica is her smell. Logan realizes that is kind of creepy and stalkerish but he figures, since he's dating her, he can take comfort in the smell if he wishes. It's sweet and strong and makes him feel safe and taken care of. A rare feeling for him. "Chances are he's known for a while." She soothes, gently stroking his hair.

"I know." Logan trusts Duncan implicitly; he was never worried Duncan would spill his secrets. However Duncan's need to help is almost as all encompassing as Veronica's need to deliver justice. Logan wanted a best friend not a lifeguard, and he isn't willing to have Duncan swoop in to try and defeat Aaron Echolls.

"I'm going to go talk to him." Logan says. Veronica inwardly breathes in relief but just nods calmly and gives him a kiss.

"You know." Logan doesn't know if he's more relieved or humiliated that Duncan knows. It doesn't take a genius to figure out the Kane's family life isn't perfect, especially without Lilly, but Duncan doesn't get beat around by his father. It makes Logan feel weak, pathetic even, to stand there in front of another guy and basically admit to standing there and taking hits. Duncan just looks up from his Sudoku and nods solemnly his face carefully neutral.
"I'm sorry man I shouldn't have blurted it out like that." Logan just shrugs, refusing to admit further weakness, and slips down on the chair beside Duncan's bed.
"Look I know neither of us are good at the whole supportive touchy-feely crap but if you need…" Logan cuts him off with a headshake.
"It's really not a big deal DK." Duncan wants to disagree. Of course it's a big deal. His father hurts him consistently, hospitalizes him sometimes and has more than likely done irreparable damage to Logan's spirit. A quick look at Logan tells Duncan that he knows it's not ok but it's also unchangeable and Duncan knows better than to paint Logan in a corner so instead of protesting he just nods.

"How long have you known?"
"Two weeks before Lilly died I found her in her room crying. I assumed you were being an ass again and asked her what was wrong. She told me she had come over to surprise you and she heard…" Duncan swallows awkwardly and Logan brushes his hand uncomfortably through his hair. "She heard your dad…with the belt while he was yelling all this awful shit at you. Anyways she was freaking out and swore to make Aaron pay. Anyways a few days later there was that party and then the car wash" Not only does Duncan know about the belt he knows about the words. The unflattering comparisons of himself and Duncan, Aaron's insistence that Logan was the downfall of the family, how Aaron wished he 

never had a son that was as spoiled, stupid and soft as Logan. Lilly knew too, Logan thinks with a groan. He remembers that day when she found him recovering from tears and how uncommonly tender she was. When her cool forehead was flush against his neck and let him cuddle her close after sex (when she usually wriggled out his grasp proclaiming she had better things to do then take a nap).

"I know I should've done something." Duncan admits after a long moment of silence. Not being able to help Logan killed Duncan. "Everything I could think of just ended worse for you and I knew you wouldn't leave your mother." Logan is oddly touched by this. Not only did Duncan look up how to help but he had also considered Logan's responsibility with Lynn.
"It's cool man." Logan says noticing the guilt and apology on Duncan's face. A silence stretches out for another moment and Duncan finally makes the leap everyone has been afraid to all day.
"So you and Veronica…" To be honest Logan doesn't know how to react. He values his throat and last time he admitted to liking her it ended in strangulation. But Duncan looks neutral aside from the mischievous twinkle in his eye and Logan realizes that Veronica's ex-boyfriend is finally accepting the ex.
"And you were doing this under my nose for 3 weeks." Duncan says with a smirk and a laugh when Logan nods sheepishly
"Well, judging by your reaction, we made a good call." Logan says lightly. Unfortunately Duncan doesn't use humor to cover for embarrassment or pain and uses Logan's shrug-off as a sequeway.
"I'm sorry." He says quietly and Logan just throws a punch on at his shoulder.
"It's cool. Anyways I really don't want to run in to the ice bitch." Logan says checking instinctively for Celeste. "We're ok?" Logan says seriously.
"Yeah, we're ok." Both boys release a breath they didn't realize they were holding as Logan turns to walk out the door.

"Logan." Mid-way out the door Logan turns around to his best friend who is now glaring from the hospital bed. "Veronica is practically my sister. You hurt her and I'll make it my personal mission to ensure you never get laid again." This is a big step for Duncan. He is admitting to himself that Veronica is no longer his fairy princess who will love and adore him forever. With letting go of that he is letting go of last year, of Lilly and of the idea that the three friends who are bound by tragedy have the ability to go back to being blissfully ignorant. Logan doesn't miss the importance of the concession and smiles before leaving the room.

He walks out to find Veronica pacing nervously in front of the door. When she sees him exits she immediately walks over concern etched on her face. Logan leans down to give her a reassuring kiss but is stopped by a cold voice.
"I should've known you two were somehow involved with this." The previously enamored couple turn to see Celeste Kane glaring at them. Neither are affected by the harsh stare or the cool words, both have been victims of her wrath before, Logan simply takes Veronica's hands and walks towards her feigning confusion.
"Mrs. Kane, fun fact for you. Did you know Duncan has type IV epilepsy." Celeste's face drops in horror while Logan savors his victory.
"Where is my son?" She says with a threatening step forward. "And how did you two get here it's meant 

to be family only." Logan steps forward about to rip Celeste to shreds with his words. As far as he was concerned Duncan was his family and no one was going to tell him otherwise. Seeing the murderous intent in Logan's eye Veronica neatly steps in between the two.
"We told them we were his family." Veronica says defensively easily matching Celeste's icy expression. "Duncan didn't seem to mind considering there was no other family around for him when he woke up." Celeste reddens slightly and is about to retort when Veronica continues with a sugary sweet smile. "I'm sure he's missing your maternal warmth though. Room 807" The expression on Celeste's face tightens and she walks past the young couple before stopping and looking back.
"I take great satisfaction in knowing you are dating a boy who is not my son." She says throwing Logan an indistinguishable look.
"So do I."Veronica says with faux-cheerfulness. Celeste is about to retort but Logan steps in.
"Ok that was fun. Celeste, Duncan is in there." He says pointing at the door before grabbing his girlfriend's hand. "Let's go babe we don't want to get speared with her icicles." Celeste rolls her eyes dropping the tete-a-tete in favor of checking on her son and Logan pulls Veronica away.

"Logan you're mother's credit card was just used again." A smile breaks across Logan's face and Veronica can't help but smile back. "The Sunset Regent."

To say that Logan is confused when Veronica makes him pull up to the drugstore would be an understatement. His mother is alive and Veronica is…taking up scrapbooking? Being Veronica she gives no reason for the sudden urge to raid the bridal magazines just orders him to get scissors and glue before grabbing a huge fake diamond ring from the children's jewelry section. The clerk gives him an odd look as he hands her his credit card but he just glares back daring her to ask him why he is buying Modern Bride.

It isn't until Veronica is half-way through cutting out wedding dresses that Logan pipes up and she has to commend him for his patience.
"Babe, what are you doing?" Veronica glues a wedding dress to the page and looks at Logan like he is mentally challenged.
"Making a wedding book."
"Now?" She can't suppress the laugh at the look of utter disbelief on Logan's face.
"It's for your mother's case. We need a reason to want to view the honeymoon suite." She says conspiratorially. Unable to resist, Logan peeks over at the dresses and bouquets Veronica is quickly pasting on to the background.
"Do you ever think about it?" Stupid, stupid Logan he thinks with a groan as she freezes mid-stick. Bring up marriage to your teenage, commitment-phobe girlfriend.
"Think about what?" Playing dumb has never suited Veronica but she already let the question hang for a minute and she still can't think of a logical response. The sound of her heart hammering in her ears is enough to drown out reason and she really doesn't want to continue this conversation.
"Future stuff, weddings, babies, careers." Logan says nonchalantly, he's made his bed, now he has to lie in it. He's not even sure why he asked this question. Seriously Veronica is the girl in this relationship and right now he feels like one big, sappy girly-man..
"I guess. I mean doesn't everyone." Veronica mumbles as her cheeks turn pink. The curiosity overrules 

Logan's rationality and he can't help but continue.
"So what are they?" Veronica clams up again but this time Logan prods gently. "Your future wishes." She is about to tell him to shut the hell up with the personal questions but then she figures that this is probably a good distraction from the fact he is about to face the mother who abandoned him.
"I don't know. I haven't thought about it much." Veronica says not making eye contact. "I've always wanted a church wedding, which I know sounds lame but they're just so beautiful and an old-fashioned ceremony. No more than four kids, there is only so much labor a girl can handle, but no less then two. Close enough in age that they can wear hand-me-downs practically and be entertained by the same TV shows but not so close that they all leave home at the same time. FBI or something similar for a career." She shoots out in one breath. The last person she told her wedding wishes to was Lilly. The flipped through magazines waiting in line at a grocery store. Lilly has initially insisted she was going to elope to Vegas but after a couple innocent yet prying questions from Veronica she finally revealed that she wanted the whole wedding thing with parents and friends to witness her big moment.

"But you don't think about it much." Logan says with a broad smile as he stops at a red light.
"What about you then? What are your plans?"
"I don't really have it mapped out." Logan says with a hard swallow. Able to tell that he is lying Veronica rolls her eyes.
"You have to have something." His expression is a little sour but he laughs a little as she prods him in the ribs. "Come on! I told you mine." She wines. Logan looks over at his girlfriend who is pouting dramatically, batting her eyelashes.
"You really want to know?" Somehow Veronica misses the wariness in his tone and the tightening of his hands on the steering wheel. At this moment he feels ridiculous for bringing it up in the first place. Of course she was going to ask back. Deciding there is no way he can lie or back-track he blasts on quickly "I figure I'll never get married or have children because genetically speaking all I have to offer is a tendency for abuse and a 50 chance of alcoholism. As for my career, as long as it isn't in the film industry I don't care." Logan just looks at her long enough to see her previously playful expression fall to horror and distress. They are enduring the mother of all uncomfortable silences. The grip Logan has on the steering wheel has made his knuckles turn stark white not to mention his jaw is set tight enough to give him a headache.

Speechless isn't commonly associated with Veronica Mars but Logan has managed to successfully shut her up. How does one even respond to that? She knows she needs to respond. Whether or not he's admitting to himself he is sitting like a coiled spring waiting for her to make her move, to let him down or try to build him back up.

"You'll never be like Aaron." Veronica says as Logan puts the car in park. It's no question that becoming his father is his second biggest fear in the world. "You'll never be like Lynn either." Turning into his mother is undoubtedly his first and more real fear. Apathy and alcoholism scare Logan more than words and whips and lately he has pictured himself 20, 30 years from now drunk, dirty and bored just waiting somewhere to die. Obviously it's not a very uplifting image. "You are a better person than your father and you are stronger than your mother. Do you understand that?" Veronica isn't asking him to 

understand she is demanding that he listens and believes her. The tiny bit of faith eases some of the tension that has been building up for weeks in the back of his head and he just nods before jumping out of the car and opening her door for her.

The couple is extraordinarily different when they walk into the lobby. They pretend to be all sweetness and light with cutesy nicknames and near constant contact. Unfortunately their routine gets them nothing but patronizing smiles from the clerk who comments that the guest in the suite insisted on her privacy.
"Ok sit tight for a sec I'm going to go talk to the maintenance guys." Veronica requests off-handedly, putting the frilly book in Logan's arms.
"No I've got a better plan. I'm going to sit right here until my mother walks out of that elevator." The defiant tone tells Veronica that his mind is made up and trying to convince him to do something else would be a waste of time and energy. So she doesn't push it just sits silently on the couch as he regards the guests wandering in and out of the hotel lobby. There is a lot Veronica could do to hurry the process along but she knows Logan needs this time. It's real now and although he wants to find his mother he needs time to work out exactly what to say, what to expect.
"I'm sorry but the hotel lobby is reserved for guests only." The prickly receptionist comments. Without taking his eyes of the elevator Logan simply hands over his credit card.
"So book me a room Jeeves." Veronica can't help but roll her eyes at his blatant disregard for money. "Bring me a room service menu while you're at it." The clerk huffs a little obviously wondering how the giggly, happily engaged couple suddenly morphed into caustic, snarky brats. The warning glare he gets from Veronica sends him back to his desk.
"You can't sit here forever." The disappointment of seeing stranger after stranger instead of Lynn is doing Logan more harm than good. Before he can protest Veronica takes his large hand in hers and pulls out her cell phone. "Why don't we smoke her out?" Logan barely nods at the compromise and continues to regard the door with dwindling hope.
"Hi, I'd like to report my card lost. My name is Lynn Lester."

A while later the clerk arrives with a fake smile, a room service menu and a key card to one of the suites.
"Hungry?" Logan asks handing me the over-priced menu. The quip about deeming it unnecessary to pay 15 for a hamburger and fries dies on Veronica's lips when she sees Lynn walk out of the elevator.
"Logan" She says pointing to the pretty brunette.
"That's her." The comment is more to himself then Veronica who just hangs back to allow for them to have their reunion. "Mom!" Lynn turns around to be, well, not Lynn. No Logan wanted a mother and got a sister, Trina Echolls.
"Oh hey Logan. Did you just call me mom?" The look of fake concern is all too familiar to Logan who just stares at her in shock. "You know mom's gone right?" It feels like the first time he's heard it.
"Wow." Logan responds harshly trying not to convey his disappointment. "You're wearing mom's clothes. You're wearing mom's hat?"
"She was your mom my step-mom, the lady who liked to parade around the house in a string bikini whenever I had a boy over." There is so many things wrong with this scene that Veronica doesn't even know where to start. She is an only child so the sibling thing is kind of lost on her but if her little brother 

came up to her wide-eyed and hopeful after thinking she was his dead mother Veronica's first instinct would not be to make fun said mother.
"Well to be fair when didn't you have a boy over?"
"Oh you." Either too careless or too stupid to see the pain she was putting her brother through Trina reaches out to jokingly pinch his cheek.
"Dad could have used you there." Aaron's happiness is not a prime concern for Logan but it would have been nice to not be only one having to endure stories of how much he supposedly loved Lynn. Not to mention that Aaron laid around like a dead fish leaving Logan and Duncan to handle all the arrangements. So when Logan speaks of Aaron being able to use Trina he really means that he himself could have used a bit of sisterly affection.
"Now you're worried about Dad's welfare." Trina responds coldly "Isn't he the big bad wolf? Cigarette burns and broken noses, oh the stories you used to tell." Rage bubbles up in Veronica as Trina pokes fun at Logan's most torturous memories. The only thing stopping her from going over there and punching Trina in the face is Logan's voice.
"Wow, we should get together and do this more often." Logan is still standing and that means that he won't appreciate Veronica fighting his battles for him. The idea of being protected is so foreign to him that he simply takes offense to someone trying to support him. After all, his father did teach him how to take it like a man.
"Well you're in luck I'm coming home this week. I guess some accountant finally cancelled mom's cards." "If you're here who is going to play dead hooker two on CSI next week." Logan growls back not bothering to quell any of the disdain. "How will you get your attention fix?" He is still rolling on the adrenaline of the confrontation and Veronica debate the merits of stopping this right now. It'll wound his pride but save him from being crushed.
"Maybe I can be the ring girl at one of your bum fights." Veronica has seen first-hand the sort-of attention Logan got for that and screws pride in favor of stepping in.
"Let's go Logan." He is completely unresponsive to Veronica's firm tug and continues staring at his sister letting the meaning of her presence sink in.

"Oh my god Veronica Mars. Look at you all grown up. We should totally hang out when I'm in town." Taken aback but how she just went to tearing down her brother to girl talk Veronica stammers dumbly.
"Uh, yeah sure." She immediately turns back to Logan who's dark expression hasn't changed. "Come on Logan." The feel of Veronica's hands nor the sound of her voice get through to Logan who is forcing himself to accept that Trina's presence means his mother is dead. She really left him. Not only did she leave him, she left him with a man who beat him and crushed him with cruel words. She's gone, plain and simple.

Veronica turns to say something, anything, even a platitude just something to let Logan know that she understood the severity of the situation. The sight of Logan doubling over in agony, however, make her realize that no words will be enough. Ignoring the whispers and stares from the rest of the foyer Veronica places her hand on his back softly rubbing circles. Thinking quickly, she manages to coax a few steps out of him and gets him sitting on the couch. His top-half completely collapses into her and she whispers soothingly into his ear as he clutches her tightly. Without hesitation Veronica draws his head to 

her chest lightly, stroking his hair as Logan soaks in the tiny bit of comfort and security in her embrace. The feel of his body trembling with tears in her arms is enough to make her stomach clench with sympathy. Logan's show of emotion the first time is mother died was a fraction as intense as this. It's obvious to Veronica that he isn't just crying about his mother. He's also crying for his bitch of a sister, the whole situation with Duncan, the careless disbelief of his abuse.

The worst part for Logan is when his hysteria subsides and he is sniffling in Veronica's arms, feeling the eyes of an entire hotel lobby witness him at his most vulnerable. A hot flush of embarrassment crawls up his cheeks and he quickly removes himself from his girlfriend's arm. Nice one Echolls now she's going to think you're an emo fag.
"Logan?" Veronica begins carefully not really knowing what to do. Sure he is red-eyed and shaking but he is also looking around the foyer like the whole crowd is laughing at him and is avoiding her eyes, afraid he'll find pity there. "Logan." Veronica tries again trying to turn his face towards her. Embarrassed and upset, Logan swipes angrily at his cheeks, refusing to turn to meet Veronica's eye.

"Let's go to your room." Veronica says casually, sensing the intense humiliation Logan is feeling. Before he can protest she has the room key in her hands and is pushing him into the elevator. Being away from the crowd of gawking people causes him to relax slightly and he lets Veronica take his clammy hand in hers and hold it firmly.

It takes Logan two seconds to go for the mini bar. After the second airplane bottle of Jack Daniels Veronica calmly steps in between him and the alcohol insisting that he has had enough Dutch courage. The solemn look on Veronica's features and the weight of his mother's lighter, mocking him in his pocket, cause the whole painful scenario to flash through Logan's head again. Suddenly he's just really, really angry. All he needed was her to do was hold on for one more year. One more year and he would have turned 18 and found some way to save them both. He'd fight Aaron himself if he had to. Angrily, Logan throws the small glass bottle away from Veronica letting the shards splatter on the balcony. This is the point for Veronica when she realizes she has to step in before the tabloids get even more scoop on the Echolls family melt-down.

She slowly walks in from of him and he is so busy trembling with rage that he barely registers her presence. When she places her hands on his biceps she can't help but notice he is still shaking, struck with a myriad of painful, conflicting emotions. Wordlessly Veronica pushes him back to bed before carefully pushing off his sweater and lifting his t-shirt up over his head. This unexpected act does the trick and the fog slowly lifts from his eyes as he returns to the present. Without looking away Veronica bravely sheds her own shirt and stands before him in just a light blue bra. Assuming she is pulling a Lilly and is going to attempt to screw away the sadness, Logan reaches out and kisses her. He's knows it'll give nothing but a temporary reprieve but that's better than nothing. Surprisingly she doesn't let the kiss heat up and instead leans down to take off his socks and shoes. Veronica is pretty sure that, even with all her sex-related issues, she would sleep with Logan right then if it would dull his pain for even an instant but she knows that Logan will get nothing but guilt from trying to screw the pain away with her. No, Logan doesn't need a quick fuck he needs closeness and intimacy, two things that have been denied from him for so long he probably doesn't even think he needs them anymore. In one quick motion 

Veronica shimmies out of her skirt standing before Logan in just her matching underwear. Even given the situation Logan's eyebrows raise in appreciation and she just tugs his pants off so they're both bare in front of each other.

Trying not to feel uncomfortable in just her bra and underwear Veronica walks to where Logan is sitting and lets her fingers dance gently across his tear-stained face. Trying to quell the upsurge of tears brought on by the intimate gesture, Logan squeezes his eyes shut.

"C'mere sweetheart." Veronica says gently, taking him with her as she lays back on the bed. As a general rule Veronica doesn't like endearments and feels embarrassed almost immediately. The soft words register with Logan though and he immediately buries his face in Veronica's neck. It's less embarrassing for him now, without the crowd of onlookers, and he lets her hold him close and tenderly drop kisses on his forehead as he sobs out his loss. It has been a while since Logan cried like this in front of anyone. When Veronica found him after his mom's death he was on the tail end of his tears and the night his crying woke her up she had simply cuddled in closer and wordlessly reassured him. In fact the last time Logan completely broke down in a woman's arms was his mother's after Lilly died. That doesn't help quell the tears and Veronica starts mumbling soothing, incoherent words, rocking him slightly as he tries to reign in the sobs.

In reality, the vicious shedding of tears took only minutes but to both teenagers it felt like hours. Most great love stories forget about moments like these. One's intense sadness and vulnerability handled with unconditional tenderness and support. Stolen kisses, protective hugs and sweet whispers are great but the true lines of intimacy are crossed at times like this. So, as Logan wept over the memory of his mother and Veronica wondered how a woman, once so proud and vivacious, could hurt her son so fiercely, they unwittingly crossed from being teenagers in puppy love to adults embarking on a relationship that could either be beautiful brilliant or painfully perilous.

When Logan's tears subside to sniffles Veronica shuffles down the bed to be at eye-level. In an attempt to regain some pride, Logan is about to quickly wipe the stream of moisture away from his raw cheeks. He's stopped by Veronica's lips gently kissing away some of the fallen tears before she pulls back and wipes away the rest of them with the pads of her thumbs. Knowing both Logan's pride and caustic defense mechanisms well, Veronica tries desperately to find some way to get him to stop avoid her eye contact and flushing red. Because she's Veronica Mars the words 'I am your girlfriend and therefore support and care about you more than you will ever know' don't come out, and she runs her fingers through his hair softly.

"You know how you told me you didn't want me to be embarrassed around when we're…intimate." Veronica begins straining for a better word than intimate. Still reeling with humiliation, and the loss of his mother, Logan has taken to staring at the ceiling and gives a barely perceivable nod. "Well you don't have to be embarrassed about being capable of basic human emotion around me." Shifting slightly so she is on her side and able to really look at him she forces herself to continue. "I mean I won't share my ice cream or anything but I've kind of grown attached to you over the years." The gentle mockery coaxes a small smile from Logan and he reluctantly turns to make eye contact and Veronica rests her hand on 

his cheek. "Ok?"
"It's incredibly unfair that you aren't sharing your ice cream." He responds running his fingers through her hair as she smiles up at him.
"I'll order you your own." Veronica says definitively, taking the phone off the bedside table.
"Not really hungry Mars." Both drop the lighter banter at this and Veronica's voice softens again.
"Logan you have to eat something. I suppose I could start at the base of the food chain." Knowing a hunger strike will not bring his mother back, only anger his girlfriend, Logan orders hamburgers for both of them sternly informing Veronica that ice cream is not dinner. She pouts a little and he ends up ordering ice cream for dessert then hides in the bathroom so the bellboy won't get the pleasure of seeing Logan's distress. As Veronica pays for the meal, Logan looks in the mirror and groans in horror. Red blotches dot his skin and his eyes are swollen and rimmed with red, not the best look for him.

"Logan?" She says knocking gently on the door. "He's gone." Logan doesn't respond; too busy willing away the unattractive red patches on his face. The door handle turns and Veronica is looking on with a mix of sympathy and humor at the Logan's distress over his precious face.
"Come here pretty boy." She giggles leading him to sit on the toilet seat before grabbing a neatly folded white facecloth and wetting it in the sink. With a reassuring smile she runs the cold washcloth over Logan's face causing the redness to subside slightly. "Better?" Instead of responding with his usual quip he kisses her gently letting his lips thank her.
"Our hamburgers are getting cold." He remarks with a little smirk when Veronica pulls back a little breathless and taken aback. The few occasions Logan didn't kiss wild and passionately he gave soft reassuring pecks. It is a rare event that he gives a long, simple, soft kiss, filled with promises and affection, but when he does, he means it and he can't help but feel a little proud he just made Veronica Mars weak in the knees. Veronica just nods mutely and they return to the bed, eating their hamburgers and watching TV shows neither one of them followed.

Out of the corner of her eye Veronica watches as Logan slowly reverts back to memory lane. Nostalgic was not a word commonly associated with Logan but the circumstances are obviously causing him to rewind to his years with his mother. If he was going really far back he might hit the place where his father only yelled and his mother's eyes lit up.

"Talk to me." Veronica demands gently, flicking off the TV. The only response from Logan is a brief look down and a slightly curious gaze as she gets out from under his arm to face him head on.
"About what?" The listlessness and calmness disturbs Veronica the most and she takes one of his ice cold hands in hers.
"About your mother, Trina, your father, Lilly, Duncan." There are so many shitty things in Logan's life that Veronica is one step away from counting the tragedies on her fingers to make sure she doesn't miss one. "Anything you want, just talk." Instinct tells Logan to clam up. Logan is good with words, cutting words, sensual words, evading words, but he isn't good with meaningful words. Not to mention that people are more entertained and interested in his amusing stories and jokes rather than actually wanting to hear his life's story. The feel of the warmth from Veronica's hands transferring through to his cold ones as she patiently waited for him to decide if he could really talk about made Logan's decision for him.



The first, but my no means easiest stories were about Lynn. Unaccustomed to talking about anything of importance, Logan nervously told Veronica of the moment, after his second beating, when he had realized his mother's promise of safety was empty. When she didn't laugh in his face or give him a piteous look, he wondered aloud if she thought of him, or anyone else for that matter, when she decided to jump of a bridge.

Veronica was surprised that the stories of Trina were the ones that really upset Logan. He had never talked much of his sister, dismissing her as an attention-seeking whore, but when he spoke of their time as naughty, conspiratorial siblings, it was obvious to Veronica that he loved his sister and the feeling had, at one point, been mutual. Trina had seen Logan after one of his father's beatings. It was one of the first times his father had used the belt and Logan had yet to condition the very natural response of crying out of his system. His outraged sister had demanded to know what happened to him promising to kill whoever reduced her tough younger brother to tears. Logan didn't believe that his 11-yr old sister in the pink sweater set could take on Aaron Echolls (or anyone who couldn't make Logan cry for that matter) but she cared and maybe that would be enough for him. So he showed her the burn marks on his back and she responded with a vicious slap and blatant disbelief. Things were never the same between them again.
Logan pointedly left his father and Lilly out of it. First off Veronica wasn't his shrink (nor did he want her to be) and second off trusting and talking were new to him and he didn't want to regret this moment. He had forgotten how good a listener Veronica was. Whenever Lilly had really gotten to his nerves or his father's belt had stung particularly fiercely he would rant to Veronica about what a bitch Lilly was or how much he really hated his father (not that he ever told her the reason). The entire time he was raving in that maniacal way 16 yr old boys do she would just sit there, eyes wide with sympathy and understanding until he wore himself out. Sure it was different to rant angrily than to talk emotionally but she stayed silent and neutral, gently stroking the top of his hand when he got to particularly hard parts.

Logan's life horrified Veronica. People don't just leave him they usually choose to leave him. She wanted to tell him how proud she was of him, how much she admired his ability to not crumble under the weight of his world continuously falling apart. But he would take it the wrong way and she'd get defensive so she decided to just rest her head on his chest instead, the beat of his heart reassuring her that he indeed made it through.

"You're father." Logan says suddenly breaking Veronica out of her half-asleep daze. "Call him before he activates the homing beacon in your molar."
"Hey Dad."
"Honey." He knows where she is and Veronica knows lying about it will only make it worse.
"I can explain…"
"You're going to explain to me how Logan will sleep on the couch and won't touch a hair on your head whilst you slumber peacefully in the bed dreaming of convents."
"The Virgin Mary is always in my thoughts."
"You're to come home first thing tomorrow morning." Keith demands sternly trying not to think of Logan Echolls sleeping in a hotel room with is 17 yr old daughter.


"Yes."
"You're to not to do anything remotely sexual."
"But Logan's already ordered the Skinimax!"
"Veronica!" Her father shrieks in to the phone as Logan chuckles.
"Look I appreciate that this has been a hard day for Logan with the Lynn situation but I'm trusting you here."
"Dully noted. I love you Dad."
"Love you too." Keith says, Veronica waits for a moment, expectantly. "Tell Logan I'm sorry about his mother." Keith continues resigned.

The two teens lay intertwined in contemplative silence moments after the phone is hung up. Logan thoughtfully strokes Veronica's long waves of blonde hair wondering where he'd be right now if Duncan hadn't forced him to join their investigation. The blonde in his arms is too busing thinking about how ashtrays, belts and lighters have affected Logan to worry about hindsight. The look of Logan's face, ecstatic and ready to forgive, as he though he saw his mother coupled with the despair when it turned out to be Trina, haunt Veronica as she snuggles into his arms fully.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." Veronica says into his chest letting her hand stroke his face. He pulls her closer and releases a shaky breath.
"Yeah, me too."
"She really did love you. You know that right?" Logan tenses a little underneath her.
"Loved me enough to jump off a bridge." He replies bitterly. Instead of shrugging off his pained quip Veronica shuffles up a bit and presses her forehead to his.
"I think that the only thing that kept her off the bridge for so long was her love for you." He closes his eyes which are shinning with emotion. "Those stories you tell…there's no doubt you meant the world to her." Logan kisses her on the forehead and buries his face in her hair. Moments later they lie asleep in each other's arms. The emotional exhaustion of the day taking over them both.

The stream of sunlight wakes Logan first and he is momentarily surprised to find a warm, heavy weight across his chest and stomach. Veronica is still asleep, clad in bra and underwear, the skin of her cheek sticking to his warm chest as a small puddle of drool forms. The tiny figure latched on to him reminds him of the painful day before, Duncan's attack, Trina's impersonation, the tears. A tiny, miniscule part of him figures he'll be ok though. Not because of some great coping mechanism but because of the girl in front of him who actually listened, with empathy but not pity, to some of his childhood memories and told him not to be ashamed of his tears. It's not that he is depending on her to hold him together. He's done a fine job of getting through life by himself but it's easier when there is an incentive not to self-destruct. Logan runs his fingers up and down her bare back eliciting a contented sigh and an unconscious caress from his girlfriend.
"Veronica." He says looking at the alarm clock reading 6AM. Hearing the it's-morning-time tone in Logan's voice Veronica groans and buries further in to Logan's chest refusing to open her eyes. He smells amazing. She's never really noticed his smell before but right now the distinct scent of some expensive cologne soaked in his skin with the smell bounce sheets waft up her nostrils making her sigh in her own personal heaven. For a moment she considers it a little funny that the person she once classified as a 

psychotic jackass smells like something as comforting and familial as fabric softener.
"Baby wake up." Why won't he just let her lie here and smell him all day. C'mon she's half-naked it's a win-win. Logan would be all for it if he wasn't thinking about what Keith Mars would do if he made his A-student, Stanford-bound daughter late for class.
"No. " She says petulantly and Logan reaches down to tuck a stray strand over hair behind her ear.
"Ok but you get to explain to Mr. Martin, Mrs. Murphy and your father why we didn't come to class." Unimpressed but immediately responsive, Veronica sits up.
"Feed me." She says simply before walking into the shower.

A while later Veronica returns with wet hair, make-up and yesterday's clothes.
"I feel dirty."
"We'll buy something on the way home." Logan responds over his shoulder as he tips the bellboy and wheels the cart in the room.
"God I have 3 missed calls. All from the same number and the person just calls and breathes it's so annoying. Do you recognize it?" Veronica passes the phone to Logan who examines it momentarily and checks it against his own phonebook before shaking his head no. Most guys wouldn't worry about crank calls but, then again, most guys aren't dating Veronica Mars. Knowing her it could be some Russian mob affiliate Logan thinks with a shudder.
"Working on anything dangerous?" Veronica shakes her head negatively only to be met by Logan's pointed look of disbelief.
"No seriously. I mean Lilly's murder could be I guess but that's all I can think of." After taking a bite of the pancakes she just shrugs nonchalantly and stuffs the phone back into her bag. "Probably some bored 09er's." They turn the conversation back to the mundane and slide in to Neptune High moments before the bell.

"Morning." Duncan says sliding beside Logan with an unsure smile. The altercation with Duncan seems so trivial compared with the bomb of really losing Lynn that Logan just smirks back.
"You firing on all cylinders today DK?" Duncan responds with a good-natured scowl as the class begins.
"Veronica told me about your mom." He whispers quietly and Logan feels his heart clench in dread. "I was hoping it would turn out different. I'll miss her." The sincerity in his nervously whispered statement is obvious and Logan smiles back gratefully.
"Thanks" The mention of his mother is still fresh enough to cause and awkward lump of emotion to build in his throat and tears to spring to his eyes.
"So, I'm thinking Meg Manning." Duncan continues blithely, sensing the need for a change in subject.
"What?"
"Well since you have stolen my previous girlfriend, thanks for that by the way." Logan just rolls his eyes, inwardly grateful for the jest. "I think I need to move on to greener pastures."
"You do realize we're talking about women not horses right?"
"Yes, I just mean I think I should ask Meg to Total Eclipse of the Heart." Logan looks at him in disbelief and Duncan immediately gets defensive.
"What it's not like I'm asking her to have my children it's just a dance."
"You're totally going to do something corny involving wrist corsages and matching costumes aren't you."


"Maybe." Duncan says blushing.
"If you're planning on making it a secret I suggest you tell Ronnie before Meg asks her to figure out what creepy freshman is stalking her."
"Good call man." Duncan agrees with a laugh. The monotony of high school English almost forces thoughts of death and destruction from their minds and things seem to slowly return to where they belong. They are all far from ok but they're breathing and that's enough for now.

Duncan finds Veronica leaning against her locker debating which textbooks to bring home. Having his two friends know his big, dark secret make it considerably less big and dark. He has epilepsy, so what? Logan wasn't even remotely uncomfortable this morning, probably due to the fact that he was still reeling to get over Lynn's suicide. He knows Veronica well enough to know that she'll feign nonchalance.

"I need a favor."
"You stole my line."
"I want to ask Meg to the dance." This should hurt…or at least should be awkward. But Duncan is resting leaning against the lockers comfortably and Veronica is happy with a side of jealously. Obviously she is going to feel a pang of envy. Duncan was her first love. It doesn't matter that she is dating Logan and completely enamored with him, a little part of her will never want Duncan to move on. But, thankfully, that part is smaller than she expects and she can give Duncan a genuine smile back.
"That's great Duncan."
"I want to surprise her." Memories of Duncan's ridiculous romantic gestures back when they were dating flood Veronica and she gives a little laugh.
"Of course you do." She comments rolling her eyes. The fact that Lilly was her best friend didn't help when Duncan wanted to awe her with some crazy scavenger hunt or outrageous flower bouquets. Duncan was so excited about the 'surprises' that Veronica always played along and, truth be told, she was always genuinely touched. "How can I help?" Duncan hands her a wrist corsage and an envelope with the word 'GO' on it.
"Can you give her this and convince her that I'm not some putz sitting outside her bedroom window with a bag of pork rinds."
"You're not?" Veronica asks jokingly getting a glare in return before taking the bouquet. "Of course Duncan I'll be happy to help." It's nice to be playing Cupid instead of a relationship wrecking ball and Veronica is kind of excited in that middle schooler sort of way.
"See you at lunch V." He turns to leave put is stopped by Veronica remembering something she had momentarily forgotten.
"Hey wait...how are you?" Duncan is grateful for the concern even if he isn't ecstatic about the question. They exchange a significant look and Duncan gives her a little smile.
"I'm ok."

Veronica watches Duncan's retreating back with a feeling of relief before looking down at the bunch of flowers in her hand. Now how to do this without raising suspicion.
"Weevil…I need a favor." He rolls his eyes at the predictability.
"I need you to deliver these to Meg Manning from her secret admirer." Weevil looks at Veronica like she has seven heads. Most of their favors involve, you know, threatening to beat the truth out of someone 

or getting a load of free steroids from Mexico (yah he so did not flush those down the toilet), mutually beneficial stuff. Playing Emma never came up in their business arrangement.
"Blondie you realize that a Mexican handing a rich, white girl a bunch of flowers from her 'secret admirer' is basically a federal offence." Felix says, voicing Weevils thoughts. Expecting the indignation, Veronica tilts her head slightly and gives her eyes a little flutter.
"Don't worry it's completely legit one 09er boy to a 09er girl. Very Jane Austen. Anyways you are to throw her off the trail." Weevil looks reluctant and Veronica takes on a pleading tone. "Please."
"Yeah, alright." Someone says something about Weevil being whipped and Logan picks that moment to come up. To his credit, Logan tries very hard not to project his Lilly-related insecurities on to his relationship with Veronica but seeing her, head-tilted, lips curved in a thankful smile, makes every possessive bone in his body itch.

"Hey babe." He looks pointedly at Weevil as he kisses Veronica then grabs her hand, pulling her away from the PCHers.
"Thanks for the flowers V." Weevil says provocatively. "I know it's our little secret." The comment makes Logan's back arch and he has a lot of anger he would happily take out on Weevil. Sensing both the tension and the back-handed reference to Lilly, Veronica sends Weevil a stern look before softening her face to indifference.

"It doesn't have to be Weevil I'm sure Felix feels the same way about you." She quips off-handedly before walking away, giving Logan's hand a possessive squeeze. Veronica knows her friendship with Weevil will always be a sore spot with Logan but she isn't willing to give up either relationship. Seriously, why can't everyone just get along?

"So you me and the 80s dance?" The 09ers give the couple a dirty look as they sit down together. Veronica ignores them and Logan scoots his chair closer to her and pointedly kisses her cheek.
"Not really in the mood for dances babe." He says dryly and she can still feel the sadness rolling off of him in waves.
"Come on don't you want to see how the first chapter of the Duncan and Meg saga plays out? Could be fun?" She won't push him but him staying holed up in his room, undoubtedly blaming himself for the whole thing, is not going to help matters.
"I'm dressing up as Risky Business."Logan relents.
"Fair compromise."

Veronica spends the rest of the day in supportive girlfriend mode even ditching Wallace, after many apology, to have lunch with Logan in the sanctity of his Xterra. Meg was successfully evaded when she asked for help with some lame excuse about too many cases and not enough time. To appease her she put Wallace on the case.

"Hey wants me to come to the dance." Meg says excitedly thrusting the bouquet of flowers towards Mac. Logan and Mac becoming friends and Veronica and Mac already being friends led to the cute, science techie to spend more time in outside the lab and with Veronica and co. This did not mean she knew how to handle Meg's giggly excitement of love and simply looked at the bunch of hideously 

colored flowers in her hands.
"That's…nice?" Logan smirks over Veronica head but Meg is too busy giggling to notice.
"So you girls want to get ready with me?"
"Oh I'm not going." Mac jumps in quickly before Meg decides to attack her with glitter gloss and a hair curler.
"Maaac" Logan whines.
"Logan I'd rather have to re-teach you trigonometry." She comments dryly and Logan pretends to pout.
"What about you Veronica?" Meg asks hopefully. Put on the spot, Veronicas mouth opens and closes a few times, she had promised Duncan both she and Logan would go support the dance he'd been planning since October but engaging in girl-talk about Duncan with Meg seemed a bit…nauseating.
"Sure." What the hell did she just agree too?

This is the story of how Veronica ends up getting half a can of hairspray in her hair as Meg gushes about her secret admirer. Just because she's getting dizzy Veronica just wants to tell her everything. It's Duncan, he'll request a slow song, won't dip his hands below your waist and he'll whisper in your ear how beautiful you are. But she promised Duncan she'd keep it a surprise so she helps Meg debate the pros and cons of Caz Truman. Finally they arrive at the dance. Meg looks back at Veronica reluctantly when Duncan offers his hand but Veronica simply waves them on with a smile before looking around for a very late Logan.

"Everybody let's Whang Chung tonight!" No. Fuck. Silly Veronica thought Logan had bypassed the stage of public drunkenness, and nudity. At the sound of Logan's increasing agitation Duncan looks away from Meg to exchange a conspiratorial look with Veronica.
"RONNIE!" Veronica cringes at the nickname on principle but before she can comment he is devouring her in a sticky, whiskey tasting kiss. To humor him, she kisses him back briefly before pulling away and sandwiching his face.
"You're drunk." She can't keep the mild amusement out of her voice and Logan just rests his forehead on hers looking a little guilty.
"I needed to see you."
"You couldn't do that sober?" She teases good-naturedly as she steers her pant-less boyfriend through the crowd. "Duncan, do me a favor and try to talk to the teachers out of calling his Dad." The sight of the teachers muttering and pointing at Logan is enough to make her worry and Aaron would not be pleased with this sort of image.
"Logan did you drive?" Veronica says sharply, just considering the very real possibility as she rips off his sunglasses to reveal red-rimmed, saddened eyes. "Hey, what's this?" She asks, all anger forgotten, as she reaches up to stroke his cheek.
"My Dad knew I was looking." Logan mumbles his voice barely above a whisper. Not removing her hand from his face, Veronica leans in a little closer.
"Did he hurt you?" It's an honest fight to keep her voice level and neutral and she can hear a mix of anger and fear in her words.
"Nope." Veronica's relief is palpable. "No he, uh, made me pack up all her belongings for storage and explained to me in various ways how it was my fault." He continues bitterly. God one of these days she 

is going to kill Aaron Echolls. Logan's lip trembles a bit and Veronica just pulls him towards her.
"Hey it's not your…" The sound of her phone ringing cuts through them again and Veronica pushes ignore and looks up at him seriously. "It's not your fault Logan." Logan nods a little and she thinks he might actually believe her. "Let's go home…" The ringing of her phone breaks in again and Veronica looks at the caller ID frustrated before giving Logan a one second gesture and answering.
"Hello?" She plays with his fingers reassuringly as she speaks. "Oh hey nice breathing." Veronica grumbles pissed that they ruined the moment between herself and Logan.
"They're still calling you?" Conversation of his father's punishment had sobered Logan considerably and even drunk he knew that repetitive prank callers + Veronica Mars cause for concern. "Did you try calling back?"
"Every time I do it just rings and rings." Logan takes her phone and hits 69 anyways, surprised to hear a raspy male voice on the other end.
"Why are you calling my girl?" The alcohol makes the edge in Logan's voice even stronger and Veronica can't help but smirk a little had his Neanderthal tendencies. "A blonde lady?" Veronica freezes at this.
"My mother." Logan barely hears the whisper but senses the significance in his girlfriend's face.
"Where are you?" He quickly demands of the caller fighting through the drunken haze. "Sagebrush Cantina, Barstow. Thanks."
"I have to go." Veronica says immediately grabbing her phone back.
"I'm going with you." For an instant Veronica considers it then nods quickly knowing she doesn't have time to argue.

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