A/N: FrescaPower doesn't own LOTR, Monty Python, or any of the other numerous things made reference to!
Chapter 2: The Prancing Pony
The Hobos arrived at the Inn, and met a doorkeeper.
" 'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello, who's this?" said the doorkeeper, a man with a British accent who repeated everything he said three times for some unknown reason.
"We're Hobos who wish to stay at the inn," said Frodo.
"What's your business here, what's your business here, what's your business here?"
"We have a magic ring, dementor cosplayers are chasing us, and we're meeting Gandalf so he can tell us what to do next."
"Pippin!"
"Sorry," said Pippin meekly.
"You may enter, you may enter, you may enter."
The Hobos went in and were greeted by the owner of the Prancing Phony.
"Hullo! What's your name?"
"Er, Mr. Underhill. We're looking for Gandalf. Is he here?" asked Frodo.
"Uh, Gandalf…Gandalf…oh, yeah- the old guy with a grey beard?"
"Yeah!" said Frodo
"Wooden staff, grey cloak and pointy hat?"
"Yeah that's him!" said all the Hobos.
"Never seen 'im," said the innkeeper quickly.
The group sat down in the bar to have a drink. Merry got up, left, and returned with a large mug of ale.
"What's that?" asked Pippin.
"This, my friend, is a gallon!" replied Merry.
"They come in gallons?" said Pippin, standing up, "I'm getting one!"
"You've already had 3 pints!" protested Merry.
"So?"
The cousins began to argue.
"What's wrong Mr. Frodo?" asked Sam. "That guy in the corner is creeping me out!" said Frodo, pointing to a hooded man sitting in the corner. Frodo put on the ring.
Immediately he was thrown into a world of sunshine and happiness. Care Bears, Tellitubies, flowers and cute fluffy critters danced around in a circle merrily.
"AGH! This place is even creepier!" Frodo pulled off the ring just as the same man who had been staring at him a moment ago grabbed him by the collar.
"Come with me 'Mr. Underhill' "
Other hobbits attacked the mysterious hooded man. Merry was holding a broken beer bottle. Sam started to hit the man over the head with a chair leg. Pippin was walking around drunkenly.
"Get off me! I know what hunts you!" said the man, fighting them back.
"A likely story!" said Sam, continuing to hit him with the chair leg.
"Well, I wasn't expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition!"
A jarring note, signaling the entrance of the Spanish Inquisition people, played as three men dressed in bright orange-red robes dashed into the room.
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" said a man dressed in orange with a matching plume hat.
"When did we get the permission to use this sketch?" questioned Frodo.
"We didn't! We didn't get permission for anything, and half the stuff in this play is from something else anyway!" said the man whose name has not been given yet (how suspenseful!). He turned to the Spanish Inquisition. "Sorry…you have to leave."
"Aw, but I had a great sketch –"
"No! Don't say anythingelse! We're already facing six other lawsuits of copyright infringement!" The man pushed them towards the door. "Leave - now!"
"We're supposed to be the feared Spanish Inquisition! You've ruined us! Ruined us!" The door closed, then opened again. The leader of the Inquisition stuck his head out and said, "You'll be hearing from my lawyer!"
The man turned to the Hobos "Okay… you're being chased by dementor cosplayers riding on horses that are supposed to be black but are actually brown, right?"
"Yeah…"
"I thought so. They're called Ringwraiths. They seek the Ring."
"Well, obviously," said Sam.
"I am Strider. I will help you escape from them."
"If you're 'Strider', how come the name one your backpack says 'Aragorn'?" asked Sam.
"Er… pay no attention to the name on the backpack!" Strider grabbed the backpack away from Sam.
To Be Continued…