Following you

Chapter 3

I slowly make my way to the bench over looking the sea. Silently praying that I would wake up from this nightmare and get back to my normal life. I have to laugh a little knowing that it will never happen. I close my eyes and pinch my self on the arm, slowly opening my eyes i notice that nothings changed, since I am awake and I am living this nightmare. I place my bag on the old wooden table, slowly grazing my hands over the wood and slowly tracing the engraved words of the table "HJ & LR BFF"
Quietly reading it out loud 'Haley James and Lucas Roe Best Friends Forever'

I remember that day when we wrote that. It was the end of the school year everyone couldn't wait for the summer holidays to begin. Lucas and me were on our way home and passed the Docks. I ran as fast as I could to the edge and looked over, watching silently the water flow from under me. Soon Lucas joined me and soon enough we were both watching the water glisten under the sun. Some time after he left but I stood firmly in my spot and carried on watching the water... knowing that I wouldn't see it for a while since I was going with my parents to New York to visit my aunt. Lucas called my name and I turned around. My gaze fell on the table and all the little wood chippings that piled up on the side. I slowly walked towards him and looked at the table. Soon enough I jumped on him and engulfed him into a tight hug knowing that this was the first time that we were both going to be separated for the summer.
That day will never be forgotten since it was that day that I knew that I could always trust him and know he will be there for me.

I grab my bag which lay on the table slowly make my way to the edge of the dock and sit down. My shoes dangle from the edge nearly touching the water down below. I open my bag and take out a bottle filled with a clear solution, I also take out the container filled with tablets. I didn't know what they do, I just grabbed them. It wasn't that hard to take the bottle since there was no one home to see me take it and well the pills were just there. No one would have noticed if they were gone. Since there was no one left in this world to see me.

I pop two pills in to my mouth. I could taste the bitterness of them as they lay on my tongue gradually fizzing. I twist the cap of the bottle and bring it to my lips, I take a big gulp and let the intoxicating taste overwhelm my taste buds. It wasn't the first time I had vodka, hell I remember when I first tried it because Lucas thought it would be fun. You know like experiment.
I pop two more and take another swig of the liquid, which seemed to taste much better then the first gulp.

This time I remembered the time when we both first learnt to play basketball. Okay it was more of Lucas learned to play while I tried to make a shot. I chuckle to myself remembering that day; I had tried so hard to make one shot and was failing miserably and everytime I tried I got angrier by the minute, that was until Lucas came up to me and told me how to stand and how my posture should be. It was that day that I made my first shot. I never tried again because I always felt embarrassed since that was the time Lucas started to play with Nathan. Sadly that was also my last time to shot a ball through a hoop since Lucas isn't here anymore to show me how. I could now feel the effect of the pills since I began to feel dizzy.

I slowly feel a drop of water, fall on my arms. I then realise that I was crying. I take two more tablets and another big gulp. I had lost count now of how many I had taken. I didn't really care as long as I don't feel anymore. My mind begins to wonder again. To the past, to the time that Lucas was alive. A smile crept on to my lips as I remember my first kiss. It was the best and worst day of my life. I laugh a little just remembering our faces when we ended the kiss. We were both horrified. It didn't feel magical or wonderful. It felt like I was kissing my own brother which is so wrong and for him he said it was like kissing his sister. We both laughed at the end of the kiss knowing that we were better as friends, best friends that is. However it felt special, since Lucas was my first kiss and I was his.

I take another two pills and place them in my mouth and take another big gulp. I start to feel my self rock back and forth slowly. But it wasn't enough to block out the image of Lucas' lifeless body in my arms. I grab the container again and look inside to see if there were more I couldn't see anything my eyes began to blur and I aimlessly threw the container behind me. I then grab for the bottle, which seemed lighter, i take another swig and this time it didnt taste as bad, it tasted quiet refreshing. I remembered the day when we both entered high school, by the end of the day he had managed to capture two girls hearts, it was so funny watching him as Brooke Davies and Peyton Sawyer linked their arms through his and drag him over to the bus stop. He looked absolutely mortified. There he was being captured. He looked at me, pleading with his eyes to save him, but i had other plans. I walk over to them and invite them to have dinner with us at Karens Cafe. They seemed estatic and let out a shriek, Lucas looked on scared, what did he get himself into.

I take another swig of the bottle and notice that nothing was coming out, i gave the bottle a shake and tip it upside down, but I loose my grip and I watch as it falls in to the water. My eyes feel heavy and I can't seem to keep them open. I try but I feel so tired. Maybe I could close them for a while, and I have.
I feel like Im flying through the cold air and it feels good.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

Dont forget to tell me what you thought!

Xx