A/N: This chapter was a pain to write. I swear I re-wrote the ending to this fifty-bazillion times before I came up with this chapter ending. I hope you all like it and glad you all seemed to enjoy the last chapter….thought it ended in sort of a cliff hanger. Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 33

I held Tommy's hand in my own, stroking his fingers, watching his face for any signs of waking up. My mind was spinning, trying to process everything that had been told to me over the last couple of hours. Tommy had been keeping his stalker a secret for me. A part of me wondered what else he had failed to tell me. Another knew he did it only to protect me. And still another was resentful that he hadn't. Maybe if I had known, I wouldn't have had to loose him for three years.

The doctor had just left. He answered some of my questions. Telling me the seizure was most likely a cause of the medication. That we should talk to Dr. Franchi when he gets on call later tonight to decide what to do in the future…that is, if he woke up.

He had to wake up. He couldn't leave me sitting here and worrying. I closed my eyes a moment and imagined for a moment what the day would have been like if I had come home to normal events. I would have told him I loved him. Maybe he would have told me he still loved me too. We'd kiss. Maybe more. I would have my family back. We'd be happy and it'd be perfect.

I sighed and opened my eyes. This wasn't right, I thought. I wasn't sure how much more I could take of all of this. I wanted a drama free life, just for once. Maybe I did something to deserve all this. Maybe it was just fated to be. Whatever the reason, I hated it. I was going to make it better. I was going to do everything in my power to rebuild my family and keep it. No matter what.

"Jude," I turned my head and saw Sadie standing in the doorway, her face grim and I felt my heart sink. What did she just find out?

I was about to ask her what was wrong when I felt movement in my hand. I gasped and turned away from Sadie, reaching up with my free hand to brush it across Tommy's cheek. He was stirring slightly and I couldn't help but smile. I held my breath as his blue eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," I said, feeling relief flood through me as he turned his gaze on me.

"What happened?" He asked, looking at me with confused eyes.

"You had a seizure," I said, feeling my eyes beginning to water. "I came home and…" I took a deep breath. "I found you in the middle of it in the kitchen and called an ambulance…"

"I'm sorry," He told me, giving me a sympathetic look.

"It's not your fault," I said automatically, giving him a smile. "You're awake now, that's all that matters."

"What about Bri? She wasn't home was she?" Tommy asked me, wincing slightly and I shook my head. "Kwest went to pick her up from school. She should be in the waiting room with them."

Tommy nodded his acknowledgement and I couldn't keep the smile off my face. He was awake. The rest of the problems seemed very small in comparison.

Sadie turned away from the couple when she noticed Tommy starting to awake. Kwest gave her a questioning look as she turned away from the door and came back over to him, wrapping her arms around her chest.

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"Tommy just woke up," Sadie said, tears in her eyes. "God Kwest, I just wanted them to have some happiness before I kill them both by telling them their daughter is missing." Sadie closed her eyes, her thoughts going to her five-year-old niece. "She's got to be so scared."

"Hey, it'll be ok, we'll have her found." Kwest said, pulling Sadie close to him.

"We need to call the police, list her as missing and"

"I already did that." Kwest said, giving Sadie a tight squeeze. Sadie wrapped her arms around him in return.

"I don't know if I can tell her…them." Sadie whispered, her voice breaking as she tried to think in her head the best way to break the news about Briana to her sister and her husband.

"Do you want me to?" Kwest asked and Sadie sniffed.

"Maybe, together?" Sadie asked and Kwest nodded his agreement. The couple turned and glanced back at the couple in the hospital room.

"Why don't we leave them be for a minute?" Sadie suggested and Kwest shook his head.

"They need to know, Sadie." He told her and she sighed.

"I know, it's just…" Sadie shook her head. "I just want them to be happy for a little bit."

"Wouldn't you want to know?" Kwest asked her and Sadie sighed.

"You're right," She told him, looking away from her sister for a moment. "Let's do this." Kwest gave her a sad smile and took her hand, squeezed it and led her into the room with Tommy and Jude.

"Tommy," I whispered, running my fingertips across his cheek, reassuring myself that he was here, that he was awake.

"Hm?"

"I…I want to tell you that," I took a deep breath, suddenly nervous. I could feel my throat closing up and my palms getting sweaty. Why can't I do this? I asked.

"Jude," Tommy said, his eyes soft as he looked at me. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I love you," I blurted out and he just stared at me like I was an idiot. "I do, I…I want you to know that. It doesn't matter to me if you can remember everything or not…you don't even have to remember the last few months, I just…I love you and I don't think anything will change that." I said, feeling a weight lift from me when I said the words. I felt happy, free, and couldn't help but smiling at him. I felt like I was sixteen again and telling my 22-year-old producer that I was in love with him.

"I love you too Jude," He told me, smiling at me. "I think I always have."

I couldn't help but smile at his words. Finally, everything seemed to be going right.

"Jude? Tommy?" Sadie said as she walked into the room. I glanced over at my sister and saw Kwest behind her. I couldn't help but smile at them too.

"Hey!" I said, glancing around them to look for my daughter, confused that I didn't see her. "Where's Bri?" I asked, looking at Sadie and Kwest. The two glanced at eachother and I felt my heart sink. "Sadie?" I asked, suddenly unable to breath. "Where. Is. My. Daughter?" I asked, feeling almost hysterical.

"Jude," Tommy said, taking my attention from my sister and Kwest. His eyes were half mast, like he was fighting to stay awake. "calm down," He told me and suddenly, I felt like I could breathe again.

"She isn't here." Sadie whispered, and I looked back over at my sister, confused. I saw her eyes fill up with tears and watched as they started to fall down her face.

"Sadie…what?"

"Jude, when I got to the school," Kwest said, giving me a grave look. "Briana was already gone."

"Gone? Gone where?" I demanded. "She couldn't be gone, she-"

"Someone had already checked her out and 'took her home'." Kwest told me and I felt like I was run over by a steam roller. I was frozen. I couldn't move. Couldn't think. All I wanted to know was, where was my baby girl.

Before I could process what Sadie and Kwest had told me, Tommy's doctor made his way into the room.

"Well, look who's decided to join us," The doctor stated, giving everyone a smile. Tommy just eyed the younger doctor warily but didn't say anything. He asked us to leave while he checked Tommy over and Kwest had to come over and force me to move, I couldn't get my limbs to work on their own. I just didn't know how to do it.

I moved into the hall and Kwest led me over to one of the chairs across from the room. I sat down and just…stared. I couldn't help but think about Bri. About what would have happened if I had passed at the hospital. If I'd only called Sadie before she got the call from the hospital, Kwest might have been there in time. She wouldn't be missing. It was my fault she was missing. If I'd only thought ahead, if I'd only…

"Hey," Sadie said softly, wrapping her arm around me and whipping my eyes. It was then that I realized I had been crying. "It's going to be ok," she told me. "Kwest already notified the police and they're out looking for Briana. It won't be long before"

"I should have called." I murmured, not able to process what Sadie was telling me. "I…I should have called when I got to the hospital….or on the way…this wouldn't have happened if I'd just called and now" A sob broke my words and I couldn't find any more to say. My eyes were leaking rivers and I couldn't stop.

All I could think about was my baby girl was missing. And it was all my fault.

It wasn't long before Tommy's doctor left his room. He had stopped to talk to Sadie and Kwest but I couldn't hear what was said. I only remember that Sadie had hugged me closer and told him where to shove it when he suggested she take me home, make me rest. He had left after that and Sadie told me Tommy was fine. He was ok. The doctors just wanted to keep him for a day or two to make sure everything was going to stay normal.

Sadie asked me if I wanted to go back and see Tommy and I couldn't speak, only nod my head, afraid I'd scream or say something hysterical if I opened my mouth. She walked me into the room and I was shaking. Tommy took one look at me and I knew how bad I looked. Sadie led her over to the bed and Tommy pulled me down with him. I let him and buried my face in his chest. He stroked my hair, trying to comfort me. I remember wondering why he wasn't upset, and when I managed to shift my head so I was looking at him, I could see the tears in his eyes he was keeping at bay. He was being the strong one. I felt my eyes grow heavy and I tried to keep them open. I had to find Briana. I had to start looking. I had to start calling friends, relatives, anyone who we talked to see if they'd seen her. Maybe she went home with a friend maybe…I felt Tommy's hand stroking my hair and my eyes drifted closed. I can't sleep. I kept saying, over and over in my mind. I can't sleep. I have to find Bri. I have to…I can't…