A/N: I should mention... (as it pertains to last chapter) that there are not-so-well concealed commercials in this parody. Yes. Commercials. In a fanfiction. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE TV NETWORKS!1!!1!! AND SOON THE WORLDS!!1!11!111!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!1!!1!

A Big THANK YOU to everyone who sent in reviews! This is the most reviews I've gotten from all my fanfictions! Thank you!And to show my thanks, virtual ice cream sundaes for everyone! -Hands out virtual ice cream sundaes-
Enjoy Chapter 6! : )
- FrescaPower

Chapter 6: The Mines of Morphine

"The doors of Durin, lord of Morphine. Speak, friend, and enter," said Gandalf.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Merry.

"If you're a friend, you speak the password."

"But what if you're not a friend and you speak the password, could you come in?" said Pippin.

"Um…uh…er…shut up!"

He put the staff in place and said the password. The door did nothing

"It's a riddle!" said Frodo, "What's the elfish word for friend?"

"I thought you knew elfish, so you should know!"

There was a loud noise of someone stepping on something.

"Strider! You just stepped on the melon I was eating!" cried Sam.

The doors opened.

"Who knew? My myspace account password is the same as this one!" said Gandalf, thinking he had said the right password.

They entered. The place was covered with the bodies of dwarfs, orcs, and the occasional Mary Sue.

"This is no mine. It's a tomb!" said Boromir.

"No, I'm fairly sure it's a mine…. field," said Gimili.

"So, is the brave Gondor man with a big ego afraid of a few dead bodies and a thousand goblins?" said Legolas.

"No. You can't prove that! You can't prove anything!" He went mad with fear and attempted to run out of the mines. Aragorn grabbed hold of the back of his cape, which sent Boromir toppling to the ground.

"All in favor of going through the mines?" said Aragorn.

"Aye!" said the entire Fellowship except Boromir.

"Majority rules," said Gimili.

"I count as 7," said Boromir indignantly, still lying on the ground.

"We still outnumber you"

" -and a half?" he said feebly.

" Nope."

" 1/8?"

"Not even close."

"We now have but one choice," said Gandalf as he taped a flashlight to the wizard staff, "We must pass through the mines."

"Whatever happened to that octopus in the water?" Frodo asked Legolas as the doors shut behind them.

"He quit his day job for a better paying job as the Kraken in Pirates of the Caribbean."

"I have no memory of this place," said Gandalf when the group came to three doorways.

"I thought you were here before," said Sam, confused.

"Yes, but I'm getting old and senile. Who are you?"

"Ahhhhhh! We're never gonna get out!" panicked Merry as he ran around in circles. "We're, like, gonna be stranded here for the rest of our lives! And then we'll die one by one, just like in Lost!"

"Oh, come on, that's not what Lost is about! They're all dead and in purgatory," said Aragorn.

"No, they're part of a scientific experiment," said Sam.

"No, they're in a game show where it's an extreme Survivorand the losers get killed!" said Frodo.

"You're all wrong! They're part of a weight loss program," said Gimili.

Everyone stifled a laugh.

"I'm depressed," said Frodo, sitting next to Gandalf.

"What else is new?"

"I wish Bilbo had killed Gollum. I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. I wish I'd won the lottery."

"Who do I look like, your fairy godparent?! A-ha!"

"What?" said Merry.

"It's that way. The air smell slightly less like rotting corpses here. When in doubt, follow your nose."

Gandalf pointed to his ear.

Sometime later will be Chapter 7, in which Frodo dies (OMG Plot Spoiler!) and so does Gandalf (OMG! Not really big plot spoiler!)