Last chapter :O Aww I'm gonna miss updating :P
SassyLostie; Ooh an audition? That's so cool :O Swear words:P Felt right to put them in. Poor Kate's had I rough time I'd be swearin' too :P
Don't own the lyrics or song Brand New Day- Forty Foot Echo. It belongs to them, and their genius peoples, but is it just me or do you think it's the perfect song fer Skate:D
Anyways R&R!!
Brand New Day
She pulled back and looked at him darkly. She didn't want to think the worst of him, but the way his eyes clouded over with guilt…
"Yeah?" She squeaked. He swallowed, his hands moving up and down her arms as she took a breath.
"Look… ok, the first thing you have to know, is that its nothing, ok? It meant nothing…" Kate's stomach fell and she closed her eyes briefly, but opened them as she sensed Sawyer's anxiety. "And I only didn't tell you, cause you would have got freaked out, and… and I love you. Ok? I love you… I don't-… ok." Her face was set as he began to talk, her mouth forming an 'O' in confusion. "I never led her on, I mean… I did, but no more than usual… you know what I mean, right?… And… she only did it quick… we never did anything serious-."
"Jus' say it Sawyer." Kate spat, in absolutely no mood to bother about hurting his feelings.
"She made a pass- I never kissed her back, I swear it… Kate…" He began, seeing her bite her lip.
"… You were jealous of Tom, so you made out with Ana…"
"I wasn't jealous, and we didn't make out, she kissed me. Once, I never kissed back, I swear it, I pushed her away… your not gonna freak out about this are ya?" Kate looked confused, her face was crumpled in the effort to work out how she should react. Jesus Christ, it was just one thing after another! Why couldn't she have a normal step-dad, who wasn't her biological dad? Couldn't she have a boyfriend who could actually talk to her?
"… So why did you take so long to tell me?"
"Cause everything happened one after another, he broke yer arm, then we screwed-." She raised an eyebrow slightly. "And then the letter thing, and then this… You don't exactly got the perfect life or luck, darlin'… I didn't want ta hurt you more…"
"You should have-."
"I know… Kate… I'm sorry."
"Sorry?… Jesus Christ, you didn't…if you'd have just told me when it happened, I wouldn't have cared! She made a pass at you… but the fact that you… do you like her?" He looked at her incredulously and shook his head violently.
"No! Kate, I just said…"
"Sawyer." She said through gritted teeth. "You should have said-."
"I didn't want ta hurt ya-."
"FOR FUCKS SAKE SAWYER!" She yelled suddenly, catching him off guard, as she closed her eyes for a moment. "Sorry…" She mumbled. "Ok, this might not be a big deal for you, but the last couple of weeks have been pretty eventful, Christmas is in a couple days I'm not speaking to what little family I have, my boyfriend's been kissed by someone else and he's lied about it for however damn long, my step-dad turned out to be my dad, who broke my arm, and my mom just doesn't care…" Sawyer winced as she put it into perspective. "I'm so… fucking tired! I just want a normal life! Is that really too much to ask? I just want a dad, who doesn't hit me and a mom who actually cares!"
"Yeah? I want my parents back too. We all got stuff ta deal with, darlin." He said frostily, not meaning it at all. She understood the second he said it, and didn't pick up on it. She sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging and dropped onto the chair, folding her arms and crossing her legs in an effort to keep out the cold. "Sorry…" He mumbled, still mentally kicking himself. He just wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and hide her away from a world that seemed set on breaking her, and god, they were nearly there.
"S'fine."
"That always yer answer? Cause ya seemed to have used it a hell of a lot in the last couple weeks! And judgin' by the look in yer eyes, yer always lyin'."
"Sawyer, its ok."
"No its not… I should have said. I'm sorry, ok? I just screw things up…I can't help it." Kate looked sideways, and frowned.
"You never screwed this up."
"Damn, Kate… we haven't spoken since I was dragged outta that room with you sobbin' and shakin'. I lied about kissin' Ana…"
"Do you want me to be mad at you?" Kate said softly. He bristled and looked at her like she was crazy, his gaze just a little too animated to be believable.
"What are you on about? I jus' want you to…"
"Sawyer." She sighed, placing her hands either side of his face and looking into his eyes, it almost made her giggle because the words together sounded like some soppy romantic film, but she carried on. "If you mean it… if you never kissed her back…you never screwed this up."
"How the hell'd you work that one out, Sassafras?" He challenged.
"Sawyer… stop it." His playful smirk slipped away and he stared at her properly, her freckles standing out on her nose. She'd never seen him look so open and sincere, his eyes were wide and looked about eight years old. "I love you… you didn't screw this up. I guess we just got bad luck…"
"Damn right." He chuckled weakly, still staring into her eyes like he couldn't let go. They must have looked strange, just staring at each other in the middle of a public café, but they didn't care. As long as they had each other they were untouchable. "I love you, Freckles…" And it was stupid, cause Kate had never asked for acceptance from anyone. She didn't need it. But when he said that, she forgot about her mum. She forgot about Wayne. She didn't care that she felt dirty. He loved her.
"I love you too… I love you so much." She smiled. "We can do it, right?"
"Course…" He replied, running his fingers through her hair again, something he felt he hadn't done in years. "And we don't need anyone else…"
"Just us?" She smiled. "We might get lonely."
"Things can't always be perfect." He sniggered, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Ya damn perfectionist."
Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down
Now when I look out my window
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around
And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day
We said we'd take little time
For both of us to see
And wonder what it'd be like to carry on
Yeah, I know I got crazy
Well I guess that's just me
If I could turn back time before
The wrong
And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day
Ya, And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
I think I'll change my ways
Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one
To bring you down
I know the whole Shannon's eating disorder was left open, I was planning on some big revelation about that (you know how much I love angst) but it turned out like this :P I know in the show, there was a oneliner from Boone about her being bulimic, and while this is totally AU, I liked following the faintest of guidelines. Anyways, I'd totally love to write something else, I just need to, y'know, figure out what. ( I did think about some kind of closure on the bulimic/Shannon thing) Thank you soooo much for the reviews, you seriously have no idea how happy they made me. Hope you enjoyed it:D
xox Katie ♥