Disclaimer: See last chapter and I don't own the Beatles, BNL (Bare Naked Ladies), Muse, Jack Johnson, Nintendo, and Xbox

Alucard's little sister: Since the holidays are here (I'm behind sorry), I thought I'd just do another Hellsing Idol-like a holiday party. I wonder if I should have Integra get a PS3.

Editor Cain: Oh please, $600 for a system that won't be worth that in 15 years. I'd rather have a hole drilled into my head.

Integra (grabs a power drill): That can be arranged.

Editor Cain: I shouldn't have said that (runs off)

To do another Hellsing Idol

Alucard was 'hanging' Santa up in a window when Integra grabbed him and pulled him into her office. "Alucard, normally, right now, I'd ask you 'why the hell are you hanging Santa with a noose', but there are more important matters than permanently damaging young minds," said Integra.

"I'll say," said Alucard. "'Cause you'd hit me over the head with something by now for hanging Santa. You know he's not real, right?"

She hit him with a silver paper weight. "Of course, I know he's not real! That bastard never gave me what I wanted! A shotgun! All he gave me was a pony!" She took a deep breath. "Never mind that, we have a problem. The queen wants us to have a party with Section XIII, here."

"Joy to the world," said Alucard sarcastically. "So, what do you have in mind?"

"Well…actually…."

At the big holiday party

"Hello, everyone," said Josephine standing on stage in the backyard. "And, welcome to another Hellsing Idol!"

"That's right," said Amie, standing next to Josephine. "And, this time we have Sir Hellsing, Alucard, Maxwell, and Alexander Anderson performing… Non-Christmas songs! The winner will get to chose between an Xbox360, Playstation 3 or a Nintendo Wii! Now, Josephine, who's first?"

"First up to the chopping block…err…I mean stage," said Josephine. "It's Maxwell of Section XIII!"

Maxwell slowly walked over. Some of the people of Section XIII clapped for him. He took a deep breath. "Ok, here I go," he said. He started singing:

Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical

Science in the home

Late nights all alone with a test-tube

Ohh-oh-oh-oh...

Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine

Calls her on the phone

"Can I take you out to the pictures

Joa-oa-oa-oan?"

But as she's getting ready to go

A knock comes on the door...

Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer

Came down upon her head

Clang, clang, Maxwell's silver hammer

Made sure that she was dead

Anderson crossed his arm. "I knew he was going to do that," he muttered to Alucard. He's so boring…hey, what are you doing?"

"Just reading over my lyrics for the song I'm going to sing….and pouring lighter fluid on Santa like Integra told me to."

"And why does Sir Hellsing want you to that, vampire?"

"Oh, that's easy," Alucard said putting a piece of paper away. "She's going to set him on fire."

Anderson took a step back from Alucard. "I don't think I want to know why she wants to do that," he said.

"Good Job, Maxwell," said Amie as Maxwell left the stage. "Ok, our next singer is…Sir Hellsing, leader of Hellsing!"

Sir Hellsing calmly walked over to Amie. "My song was technically sung by a guy…alright?"

"There's no rule against it, so go for it," said Amie, then she left the stage.

Integra took off her glasses and put them in her pocket. "This is for Alucard…and Seras…sorta." She then started to sing:

It's bugging me, grating me

and twisting me around

yeah i'm endlessly caving in

and turning inside out

'cause i want it now

i want it now

give me your heart and your soul

and i'm breaking out

i'm breaking out

last chance to lose control

yeah its holding me, morphing me

and forcing me to strive

to be endlessly cold within

and dreaming i'm alive

"I don't know you, Alucard, but I'm getting a chill running down my spine," said Seras. "Maybe it's the song. She's creeping me out."

Alucard smiled evilly. "It may be a bit creepy. After all she's trying to creep the both of us out and that means I'm going to try and creep her out." He started laughing and he walked away.

Seras looked over at Anderson. "Sometimes I don't know who's scarier you or him."

"Uh…that would be that vampire you call Master," said Anderson.

"That was great, Sir Hellsing," said Josephine. "We're just moving right along to…Alexander Anderson!"

Anderson walked up on stage. "Alright, it may be a little childish, but I don't care because I can't think of anything else." He started to sing:

Who's to say

What's impossible

Well they forgot

This world keeps spinning

And with each new day

I can feel a change in everything

And as the surface breaks reflections fade

But in some ways they remain the same

And as my mind begins to spread its wings

There's no stopping curiosity

I wanna turn the whole thing upside down

I'll find the things they say just can't be found

I'll share this love I find with everyone

We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs

I don't want this feeling to go away

Alucard crossed his arms. "Yep, that song is of kids. Well, lest it's not a Christmas song," he chuckled.

"Be nice, Alucard," said Maxwell. "Unlike you, vampire, he works with kids every day when he's not trying to kill you."

"Nicely done, Anderson," said Amie. "And, of course, last but not least…Alucard!"

"I'm scared," said Seras to Integra as Alucard walked on stage. "He told me he had a song that would creep you out."

Alucard smiled. "That's right, My Master, this song should scare you," he said. He started to sing:

I'm in the drink for love

And want to drink your love

Swimmin' a swim in the suds

I want to drink your blood

Up like a rocket, down like the rain

Back and forth like a choo-choo train

I have a secret that just won't keep

All I wanna do is brush your teeth

Butterfly kisses

And the taste of delicious

I'd like to sip the sap from your tree

And the honey in the tea

Dripping amber drips

Patiently

Integra's glasses fell to the bottom of her nose and her jaw dropped. "I…can't believe what I'm hearing! A soft song from him! Is he high or drunk?"

"If you ask me," said Seras. "I'd say both."

Alucard's little sister: Here we go again. You get to vote on your favorite. This is longer than the last one.

Editor Cain: (still running from Integra) Your votes are a real help. I'd love to stay and chat, but I got to run for my life!