"Well Chester, I'm in love"
Sue Ellen was addressing her teddy bear, whom she held aloft on her bed.
"It's hard to believe I've known Arthur for almost a year and yet I've just now fallen for him. But then, he's always been so kind to me. When I first moved in, he was the one who convinced me to get up in front of the class."
She sighed "but I'm afraid if I tell him how I feel, he won't like me back. And worse, if my class finds out, I'll never live it down! How do parents deal with this?
Maybe I could use something from my travels to help me win Arthur" she added, "like that time I visited Haiti."
She imagined being in the hall in school the next day. Arthur walked past her, waving hello as he did.
"Hi Sue Ellen."
Sue Ellen waved back and waited till he passed, then pulled a voodoo doll resembling Arthur from her dress.
She put the doll's head to her lips, and sure enough, Arthur turned around, and some force propelled him right at Sue Ellen, where he connected with her lips for a kiss.
After they broke the kiss, Arthur looked at her. "I don't why but, I want to be your boyfriend" he said.
"And I want you to" Sue Ellen replied, before they kissed again. She then hid the voodoo doll back in her dress.
Back in her room, Sue Ellen considered the events of her fantasy.
"No, I don't want to force Arthur to like me, I want him to do it on his own" she said "besides, I don't even know how to make a voodoo doll. Hmmm, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach…"
She imagined being in the cafeteria at school and putting a cake down in front of Arthur.
"Eat up" she said, "I baked this cake just for you."
Before Arthur could even get a bite however, Buster showed up and noticed the cake.
"Mmmm cake" he said, before devouring it greedily.
"Buster, that's not for you!" Sue Ellen replied angrily.
"Sorry."
Sue Ellen then returned to reality, realizing that she'd have to come up with something else.
"I've got it, I'll give him a present!" she said "something that's important to me. That will show him how much I care. But what to give him?"
She scanned her room and looked through all of her knickknacks from her travels. "I don't really want to give up any of these" she said, "maybe I'll just make him something. That way it'll be even more special."
So for the rest of the day, Sue Ellen worked hard on creating something she knew Arthur would like. At night, she lay awake in bed, pondering what the next day would bring.
I can't wait to see his reaction to my gift she thought I'm sure he'll love it, and then I'll be one step closer to telling him how I truly feel.
------
The next day at school, Sue Ellen sought out Arthur and found him by his locker.
"Hi Sue Ellen" Arthur greeted her "did I do something to annoy you? You were avoiding me yesterday."
"I…just wasn't feeling well" Sue Ellen replied "anyway, I really wanted to talk to you today. I have something important to give you."
"Okay. What is it?"
She reached into her backpack and produced a clay sculpture of Bionic Bunny.
"Wow, did you do this yourself?" Arthur asked, obviously impressed.
"Yup, it took me a few hours, but it was worth it."
"And you made this, for me?" Arthur asked.
"Of course."
"Thanks, but…well, why did you make it?"
Cause I'm madly in love with you Sue Ellen thought.
"Because you're my friend and friends do this kind of stuff for each other" she replied.
"Oh. Well okay" Arthur replied "I'll just keep this in my locker for now. Thanks again" he added, heading off to class.
"You're welcome" Sue Ellen replied, as she watched him go, then leaned against the lockers and sighed.
Okay, he likes the gift you made him she thought now comes the tough part, how to say 'I love you?'
------
"Well, did you tell him yet?" Fern asked Sue Ellen, as both girls sat at the lunch table.
"No, I couldn't find the right words" Sue Ellen replied "those people on TV make this look so easy."
"Let me handle this" Fern said, "I have an idea."
"You? What do you know about romance?"
"I'll have you know read some very romantic poems" Fern replied, "but actually, I had something else in mind. Something that will make it easier for you to tell Arthur how you feel."
"What is it?"
"Just wait and see. It worked once, so it should work again."
------
And so it was that later that day, Arthur opened his locker to find a folded note.
"What could this be?" he asked, opening it up.
Dear Arthur
I like you. I think you are the cutest boy in the whole 3rd grade. Not a day goes by where I don't have a passionate dream about the two of us. You are smarter than the Brain and stronger than Binky. I hope you will respond.
Sincerely yours
Your Secret Admirer
"Aaah!" Arthur shouted, and quickly shoved the letter in his pocket. As he wandered to class, he pondered the contents of what he had just read.
I can't believe some girl has a crush on me! He thought I'm both scared and flattered. Who could it be? Francine? No, she's like a sister to me. Muffy? I sure hope not. Wait, how do I even know it's somebody from my grade? It could be somebody older, like Molly.
He imagined the possibility of having Molly as a girlfriend. The two of them were hanging out by the jungle gym when Francine came over.
"Hey Arthur, wanna play some kickball?" she asked.
"Beat it monkeyface, Arthur doesn't have time to play with you" Molly said, "and if I see you so much as talk to him again, you'll be in a world of pain!"
"But I…"
"Scram!" Molly yelled and Francine ran off.
"Molly, Francine is one of my best friends!" Arthur said.
"She's also a girl, and no girl is taking you away from me" Molly added, then caught Arthur in a tight hug "you're all mine!"
Arthur came out of his fantasy more nervous then ever.
Whoever this secret admirer is, I need to find her and quickly he thought before she tells everyone in the school that we're together! Or, if it is Molly, before she scares off all my friends!
------
Later, at lunch, Arthur's friends noticed he seemed more nervous than usual.
"Are you okay Arthur?" Buster asked, "you seem nervous."
"Nervous, me? I'm not nervous, not at all, what would give you that idea?" Arthur asked, speaking rapidly.
"Because you're speaking at an accelerated rate" Brain said "and you keep glancing over at the other tables."
"What, a guy can't watch his friends eat lunch without getting the third degree?" Arthur asked, again rapidly.
"I guess so…" Buster replied.
"Good, so I'm fine okay" he continued "so drop it."
"Okay" Binky said, dropping his sandwich.
"I think he meant drop the issue" Brain explained.
"Oh, that makes more sense" Binky added, "I wish I had thought of that earlier. Now I don't have a lunch. Oh wait, my mom packed me crackers."
As Binky enjoyed what was left of his meal, Arthur continued to glance nervously at the girls, dreading the prospect of finding out which of them had written the note.
Maybe I don't really have a secret admirer he thought maybe one of the guys wrote it as a joke. But what if they didn't and a girl really does like me? Part of me is flattered that a girl actually likes me, but I'm more afraid about what will happen if she asks me to kiss her. And what if the guys find out? I'd never live it down! I'll just have to talk to each girl and see if I can figure out which one wrote the note. How hard could that be?
While Arthur worried, Sue Ellen conversed with Fern at another table.
"So what exactly did you do that was supposed to help me with Arthur?" she asked.
"I wrote him a note from a secret admirer" Fern replied.
"What?!"
"Don't worry, I didn't sign your name" Fern explained "see, if Arthur thinks he has a secret admirer, then he'll know someone likes him. That will make it easier when you tell him."
"Good idea" Sue Ellen said "in fact, I think I'll write him one myself. I can't wait to see his reaction."
------
As Arthur opened his locker later that day, he found another note. Dreading what it might be, he nonetheless opened it.
Dear Arthur
It's me again. I'm still thinking about you and I hope you feel the same about me as I do about you. Because I want nothing more than to be held in your arms, and feel the troubles of the world just melt away.
OOOO
Your Secret Admirer
Arthur felt as though he would explode. Twice in one day he had gotten notes from a girl who had a crush on him, and yet he had no idea who it was. It was time to take drastic action.
In the next chapter, Arthur hires Fern to locate his secret admirer, only to come to believe that she is, in fact, said admirer. It's a twist worthy of Shakespeare or a dozen other writers.