A/N: GACK! SO SORRY! IT TOOK ME FOREVER! And I can only just scribble (er, type) this down really fast…Not much time. High school is soo hard. I feel like an idiot since I already have 2 C's in Bio and Math. stabs self Hope you enjoy…! Oh, and does anyone know if there's going to be an Artemis Fowl Book 6?

Chapter Five

"Artemis." Holly looked at the Mud Boy steadily. "What is he talking about?"

Artemis shook his head as if muddled. The thought struck Holly that he actually might be. Artemis Fowl – muddled? Holly felt as if something had gone wrong with the world. Something had gone wrong with the world. Artemis Fowl did not get muddled. It just didn't happen.

"Holly," the Irish boy sighed, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But – my IQ has been dropping."

"That doesn't mean anything," Holly said calmly and firmly. "How did this happen? Give me details."

Artemis hesitated. Holly watched him in frustration. Artemis – dumb? Or even with average intelligence. How had this -?

John smirked. "Afraid to tell your little tale, Mud Boy? Then let me fill in the pretty captain on some things," he said. "You see, Miss Short, we wanted Artemis to die. But not just an ordinary death. A painful one. Tortuous. And physical pain was so easy to inflict. We had to beat him at his own game, best him at intellect. And after all," he grinned, "it was quite easy. He isn't all he's cracked up to be."

Artemis seemed about to say something, retort sharply – Holly watched hopefully – but then his eyes lost their luster and he subdued himself. His face was very bleak.

"We?" Holly asked sharply.

"Me and Cantata," John answered. "A clever little filly." Underground, Cantata's jaw dropped. How dare he speak of her like that! A clever little filly? She was so much more than that! Fuming, she thought of how she's get back at him for that when he returned from killing Holly.

"All we had to do," John continued, "was intercept a shipment of Irish spring water being delivered to the Fowl home. We filled the bottles with a little serum, you see."

"And what was in the serum?" Holly asked, stalling for time, as she glanced around the office, trying to see something she could hit that damn centaur with – hard enough on the head so he'd still be seeing spots when Frond came back from the dead.

"A memory wipe serum," John said. "Foaly had recently found out a way to make someone forget things through this serum; it's so much easier to carry around on field missions, and a lot more useful. But there were a couple of bugs he needed to fix."

"And what were those bugs?" Holly asked, dread gathering in the pit of her stomach.

"The serum wiped away memory, yes, but it also wiped out bits of the brain along with it," John said smoothly. "It slowly ate away at the cerebellum, corroding, destroying." His tone turned condescending. "It was so easy to get the serum and sneak it into the spring water."

Artemis raised his head. "What have I ever done to you?" he croaked. Holly saw his eyes – they were wide with panic. Panic? Artemis Fowl never panicked. But this wasn't Artemis, this was – someone else.

John's eyes hardened. "You lived," he hissed. "You meddled. You knew the fairies."

"So?"

"You were allowed to keep your memories," John said angrily, venom in his voice. Holly looked at him in wonder. What the heck -?

"He's done great services for the People," she reminded him.

"Services?" John snorted. "Pah! We were almost exposed because of this boy!"

Holly bristled. "Where would you be now without Artemis? Opal Koboi would've taken over the world, you would've been killed –"

John ignored her. He looked beyond her, beyond Artemis, beyond the office walls – "When I was young," he said, "I hit my head."

"Amazing," Holly said, dripping the sarcasm that Artemis usually would've had exuding from his voice in rivers. If this was a normal time.

"And," John continued, "I lost my memories. It was a very bad blow. I don't remember how it happened, you see. Because I lost my memories.

"And there was a girl. A female centaur. Pretty. Smart. I was in love with her; she with me. Or so I'm told. But I had forgotten her, you see. And I hadn't done anything!" John's hands balled into fists. "Nothing! But I lost my memories, and my happiness, because I hit my head! It wasn't fair!" he shouted.

Holly looked at the door. Maybe Butler would hear and come in.

John continued, frenziedly. "Why did this little Mud Boy get to keep his memories? He hadn't hurt himself! He did terrible things! He kidnapped an elf! He sold fairy technology! And what did he get? He got to keep his memories!"

"He was a genius," Holly said, wincing as she used the word was, "and we did wipe his memories. He got them back."

John snorted. "I never got mine back."

Holly thought this was a pretty lame motive but moved on. "What about Cantata?"

John thought for a moment. "Opal Koboi. Cantata was a fan of Opal, a huge fan. And then Artemis Fowl brought her downfall. Oh, I know you were in it too, and Foaly. But she saw Artemis as the main perpetrator. Bad things happened only after he entered the fairy world. He was like a trigger. She wanted him dead. She wanted peace and vengeance for Opal."

This, too, Holly thought was a lame motive.

"So now," John said, "we are going to get our revenge on Artemis. But he never told anyone about this," and he smiled. "Which is good," he continued, "because we don't want him to find the cure."

Artemis's head, which had been drooping, snapped up. Holly's ears perked up. Cure?

Cantata fumed. You fool!

"Well, anyway," John continued. "We don't want anyone to know what we did to Artemis. Easier that way. No resistance. So," he said conversationally, "I came up here to abduct Artemis. So he won't tell anyone."

"What about me?" Holly asked.

John pondered. "Oh. To kill you, too."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Villains."