Co-written with Stormypup

Beta'd by Rakina

Chapter Fifteen

Snape looked at the headline of the Daily Prophet and sneered.

Where Is Harry Potter?
Is the Boy Who Lived dead?

Snape quickly scanned the article before tossing it onto the table, shaking his head.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked, his hair was all askew and he was still half asleep. He walked to the stove and poured himself a cup of tea.

"As you have not been seen in public for some time, the Prophet is beginning to question if you are even alive," Snape said, smirking.

Harry frowned. "Is that good or bad?" he asked.

Snape shrugged. "The Dark Lord knows that you live, and that is all that concerns us. Arthur Weasley confirmed that he had been in contact with you, but the Prophet will sell more papers if they announce your possible demise. Weasley's comment is at the bottom of the column on the sixth page."

Harry sat at the table across from Snape. "The people that care about me know I'm ok," he said, blowing on his tea before sipping it. "What's the plan for today?" he asked.

Snape cocked his head to the side and looked at Harry. "Today, we'll be experimenting."

Harry scowled. "That always turns out to be painful for me."

Snape couldn't help but smirk. "This time it will be you doing the damage."

Harry straightened in his chair. They'd been so focused on defense and he was more than ready to learn a more effective offense.

"When do we start?"

"You have thirty minutes to wake yourself up. I'll be in the usual place," Snape said, and a very disconcerting smirk accompanied his remark.

Harry nodded, suddenly feeling nervous.

Twenty minutes later, Harry entered the room where they had their daily practice session. Snape was in the corner of the room, bent over something.

"You're early," Snape said, not bothering to turn around.

Harry shrugged. "When I'm late I get hexed," he said, looking curiously at Snape, trying to see around him. "What's that?" he asked, walking toward the bent man.

Snape straightened and Harry could see a small cage full of rats sitting on the floor. Harry attempted to arch his brow to imitate Snape's normal questioning look, but the look on Snape's face told him it wasn't working.

"Rats?"

"Your powers of observation astound me."

Harry rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. "What are we going to use them for?"

"To test your resolve."

Harry watched as Snape bent down again and opened the crate. Snape straightened up holding a struggling rat in two hands. Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste at the rodent.

"Test it how?"

"I told you, Potter, this time you will be the one doing the damage, I just prefer that that damage is not done to me."

"Harry."

"What?" Snape stared at Harry with confusion.

Harry tugged on the edge of his work out shirt with an embarrassed expression. "Call me Harry. Every time you say Potter I can't help but think you're seeing my dad."

Snape frowned. In truth, he couldn't remember the last time he had associated Harry with James. Potter was just...Potter.

"You're quite mistaken," Snape said.

Harry began to protest, but Snape held up his hand. "Now is not the time, Potter," he said, his voice making it clear that the topic was closed.

Harry sighed and frowned.

"Now watch," Snape instructed, ignoring Harry's petulant stance. He withdrew his wand and put the squirming rat on the floor. Harry knew that even if it tried to escape it wouldn't get anywhere. He shifted uncomfortably as Snape raised his wand and pointed it towards the frantic rodent.

"Mentis Incendia!"

The rat shrieked. The sound echoed through the training room and drilled into Harry's head.
After a few moments of the sound, Harry grabbed Snape's arm. "Stop!" he said, watching the rat writhe on the floor, its screeching pitiful.

Snape turned his head to look at Harry, but he did not raise his wand, and the rat continued shrieking.

"Please!" Harry pulled at Snape's arm again. "Are you trying to kill it?!"

Snape turned his attention back to the rat, watching it critically. "Its brain feels as though it is on fire. It is not, of course, but that matters little, don't you think?" he said, cocking his head to the side, watching as the rat's paws scrabbled against the floor.

"You're torturing it!" Harry cried, horrified.

Snape looked at Harry, his face grim. "And so will you," he said, his dark eyes boring into Harry's.

Harry's eyes widened. "Me?" he squeaked.

Snape raised his wand, but the rat continued to twitch on the floor. He pulled a small vial from his pocket and forced a few drops into the rat's mouth, and it ceased moving. Harry was surprised to see the gentle way Snape picked it up and carried it to a box and placed it inside.

When Snape turned his attention back to Harry, his eyes were flashing with something Harry didn't recognize. "You will do what is necessary, Mr. Potter, no matter how distasteful you may find it," he said, his voice firm.

Harry swallowed hard. He had known on some base level that he would have to learn things like this, but knowing it on a base level and actually having to deal with it were two completely different things.

Snape resisted the urge to sigh. Instead, he straightened and brought himself up to full height. "Get out your wand," he said, walking to the cage and pulling out another rat.

Harry did so, shaking. He held it out in front of him with reluctance as he waited for Snape to set the rat on the ground.

"Mentis Incendia," Snape repeated, looking at Harry, the rat squirming in his hands.

Harry nodded. "Mentis Incendia," he repeated, and Snape nodded at his pronunciation. He bent down and released the rat on the ground before stepping back.

Harry tracked the rat's movements for a moment before yelling out the curse and for a brief shining moment he thought he had failed.

And then the rat screamed.

Harry jerked his wand backwards almost dropping it. He stepped back, shaking his head. "I can't," he said, looking at Snape in a panic.

Snape grabbed Harry's wand hand and steadied it. "You will," he growled. "Again," he said, meeting Harry's eyes for a long moment before stepping back.

Harry turned his head away from the huddled ball of fur on the ground and cast the curse again, squeezing his eyes shut against the sight.

"Open your eyes," Snape ordered.

"No," Harry ground out.

Snape pointed his wand at Harry and cast a stinging hex across his ribs.

Harry yelped and his eyes shot open. He glared at Snape accusingly and held his chest protectively.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Open your eyes," Snape said, scowling. He bent down and took the still squealing rat and placed two drops of the potion into its mouth. It stilled immediately.

"You are doing them no favors by wasting time, Potter," he said, setting the rat carefully into the box before going to the cage and selecting another and turning to face Harry. "You can't honestly expect to walk into battle, only to close your eyes when things get ugly. You will go into this with your eyes wide open."

"I'm going to die anyway, why not make it easier?" Harry muttered, but opened his eyes. He met Snape's eyes with an irritated expression.

"You want me to try it again?"

Snape was scowling. "The odds are we'll both be dead, but we'll damn well finish off the Dark Lord first," he said, his voice hard. He set the rat on the floor and watched it scurry about.

"Again," Snape said, stepping back.

Harry steeled himself, squinting at the rodent, picturing it with a silver paw instead of a regular one. It helped. Anger coursed through him and a small snarl escaped his lips before he uttered the curse.

"Mentis Incendia!"

The rat started shrieking and Harry's hand began to tremble again, but he held the curse. He couldn't let this affect him. It was just a rodent, just a rat, one less wouldn't hurt the world.

Snape saw when Harry's resolve kicked in, and nodded his head in approval. He made Harry hold it the curse for a bit longer before stepping in.

"Enough," he said, and waited until Harry let up on the curse. He went to the rat and dripped the potion into its mouth, and set it in the box with the others before going to the cage and retrieving another one.

He set it on the ground and stepped back, nodding at Harry.

Harry nodded shortly, before casting the hex again. This time when the rat started shrieking it only resulted in him flinching slightly. He saw the approving nod he got from Snape and felt sick with himself. What was he doing? This wasn't him. He broke the curse before Snape could step in and stepped back.

"What are you doing, Potter?"

"I am not doing this again," he said with quiet conviction. He saw Snape open his mouth to argue. "I'll use it if needed, but not before then."

He squared his shoulders and faced Snape with an expectant expression.

Snape looked at Harry thoughtfully before nodding. "All right," he said turning to attend to the rat. He knelt as if he were going to give the rat a potion, but instead, whirled around on his knee and cast a hex at Harry.

Harry's eyes widened as he saw the curse hurtling towards him and managed to dodge it before it hit him. He heard it slam into the wall behind his head, before he pulled out his own wand. He cast a quick stinging hex in retaliation before casting a shield around him.

A long time later, when both men were panting and sweating, Snape finally called a halt to their duel. The two men leaned against the nearest wall and slid down to the floor, trying to catch their breath.

Snape finally raised his head and looked at Harry wearily. "You did well today, Potter," he said approvingly.

Harry couldn't muster up the urge to glare and instead tipped his head backwards, hitting the wall behind him.

"Thank you," he muttered bitterly.

"We'll be making our move soon," he said, watching Harry carefully to judge his reaction. He honestly wasn't at all sure that Potter was prepared, but he would never let the boy know that. He had to go in confident, or they were dead before they started.

Harry nodded idly, still breathing heavily. He couldn't help but think Snape was hiding something from him. Something important… but perhaps not. Harry's mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts each one less significant than the last, but each wanting his attention for various reasons. And perhaps if he were more lucid he would have realized the fact that thinking about thoughts was questionable in and of itself.

"How soon is 'soon'?" he finally asked.

Snape sighed. "We've got to set things in motion, perhaps tomorrow," he said, tapping a finger against his lips. "I think it's time we start using your...notoriety with the press to our advantage."

Harry snorted and finally looked at Snape with an amused expression. "The Order won't be happy," he pointed out.

Snape shrugged. "They have their duties, and you have yours," he said, looking intently at Harry. He had to wonder if Potter had drastically changed over the last month, or if he was just seeing him as he never had before. As a fairly competent young man who was shouldering a huge responsibility better than most others his age would be capable of doing.

"Hm, we can't go into this without their backing though," Harry stated in a matter of fact tone. He offered Snape a wan smile, wishing he knew what Snape was thinking looking at him like that. It sent tendrils of...what? He couldn't put a finger on what Snape's intense gaze was making him feel. But it wasn't disgust, and that was certainly new. "We will die. Prophecy or no, if we don't have some sort of backup."

Snape knew that he was staring, and had no other excuse than he was trying to figure out what exactly had changed. He was trying to determine if it was Potter, himself, or both?

"They will know our plans at the last possible moment. If there is a spy in the Order, I do not want them to have any time to run to the Dark Lord with our plans, ruining any chance of surprise we may have," Snape said, pleased that Harry was thinking about the big picture.

Harry stood up abruptly and began to pace. "I got a letter from Mr. Weasley today."

Snape frowned, unaware that Harry was corresponding with anyone. "And?"

"And the Order thinks I've betrayed them," he said flatly, coming to a stop in front of Snape with a troubled expression. "They think I ran; they don't believe I'm dead, but they think I left them."

Snape thought for a moment. "Again, that could work in our favor," he said, getting to his feet. "The less they know about you, the better. Encourage Arthur to foster that belief," he said, pacing as he began to think. "We are going to have to draw the Dark Lord out, and that will be easier to do without their involvement."

"Mmm," Harry hummed noncommittally, resuming his pacing. "He mentioned something else as well, that may interest you."

Snape arched his brow and waited for Harry to continue.

"Charlie has asked if one of his friends could join the order. It seems that he's had been telling him about it for the past few months and the friend joined him for Bill and Fleur's wedding."

"Though Charlie is one of the more intelligent Weasleys, I cannot say that I would trust his judgment completely in these matters. There is too much at stake for him to be running off his mouth," Snape said, scowling. "Did Arthur give you a name?"

Harry thought back to the letter this morning. "Jordan, I don't remember Mr. Weasley mentioning a last name."

"Damn it," Snape growled. "Please tell me that the Order refused the request," Snape said irritably.

Harry didn't say anything.

"Of all the idiotic things," Snape muttered, pacing the room. "I would have thought Moody of all
people would have had more sense – constant vigilance and all that rot," he said, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Why the Order would take anyone into their confidence at this late date is beyond stupidity," he spat angrily before whirling to face Harry.

"This is why we will be keeping the Order in the dark," he said bitterly. "They will know only what I choose to tell them, when I choose to tell them, is that understood?"

"Yes, Severus," he answered, with a nod. What was there not to understand? He wasn't stupid; he could put two and two together and get four.

Snape was startled to hear his name from Harry's mouth. He had given the boy permission, but this was the first time Harry had actually used it. He found himself blinking at the boy, momentarily silenced.

Harry chewed on his bottom lip for a long moment waiting for the formidable man to say something. He wondered if he would get yelled at for using the man's first name, for it obviously wasn't his agreement that had stunned Severus into silence.

Snape shook himself out of his brief stupor, which he wrote off to tiredness. It certainly wasn't from any form of pleasure he took from hearing Harry say his name.

"Right, well, I think we're done here for today," he said, clearing his throat. "I'm going to shower," he added. "I'll see you at dinner."

"All right," Harry said quietly, before brushing around him and exiting the room. He had a few hours to kill and a sore back from being chucked into the wall one time, and a nap sounded like a terribly good idea.