I love skipping school and zebra cakes.

I apologize for any distracting typos or grammatical errors in these chapters. Guess they're not so bad, considering no ones flamed me yet...or even reviewed...

I dont own Harry Potter, yada yada yada.

And I'm sorry if she comes off as wanting Harry in this chapter. She's confused and hey, just to let you know, hardly consistent in her heart's desire.

Surprisingly, they weren't reprimanded in any way, but dropped off at their compartment where Ron was waiting for them.

When he looked up and saw Hermione, he made to hug her but Harry spoke quickly.

"Hermione, I nearly forgot, can I speak to you?" Harry asked Hermione.

Hermione, getting aroused from her stupor, nodded silently and followed Harry out the door to the hallway, where students were still moving around to settle.

No one but Ron noticed as Harry shut the door in his face unintentionally.

It was rather cramped as Hermione was pushed up against Harry.

"Perhaps we should find another compartment?" She suggested.

Harry didn't seem to hear her as he ran a hand through his hair. Hermione gazed at that hand. The messy hair suited Harry's quiet face, accenting his green-…

Gah thought Hermione. This make-up must have some kind of endorphins. She thought as she pulled Harry down the corridor to an empty compartment. Maybe that's why sluts wear so much make-up; she thought again as she pushed Harry down onto a cushion and sat herself beside him, staring pointedly at him, running the idea that he was her best friend through her head.

Once the idea was fixed into her head each time she glanced up at her newly transformed friend, she was able to speak calmly.

Harry had completely ignored her, and spent his time biting his lip and looking at the wood paneling on the other side of the cart.

"So, uhhh…" Hermione started weakly, uncharacteristically, clearing her throat and, finding comfort in being blunt, "why'd you kiss me?"

Harry glanced at her, puffed out his lips as he released air, pushed up his glasses and scratched his head, sending a confused-and-innocent smile at her.

"I don't… I don't really know, Hermione. I mean you're my best mate and all and… I guess it just felt right."

Hermione quirked her head, looked at his sincerely regretful eyes, and laughed to cover up the thought that-

Regret? It's regret he feels? Nothing more?

"So… what exactly did you want to talk about, Harry?" Hoping to change the subject but knowing it was most likely his focus anyways, Hermione smiled at Harry, trying to get to a comfortable point.

"Well," he said, tugging at a hole in his jeans, "it was pretty much that…."

"Well well well, if it isn't tweedle dee and tweedle dum."

Tweedle dum?

"Wow Malfoy, that was… creative."

"Well thanks for the lovely compliment…" His sarcasm dwindled as he searched for an insult to finish up the statement that Hermione wasn't paying attention to, only what he chose as an insult. Don't say it, not now, not now… but he did."…Mudblood." he finished.

Damnit. Thought Hermione. She stood up, aiming her wand, and Malfoy was just as quick. "Ah ah ah, Granger."

"Don't do it." Came a whisper from beside her. Hermione's eyes flashed to Harry as he said this. But her attention was focused on the smirking blonde in front of her.

"Give me one good reason, Harry. Tell me why I shouldn't blast him to smithereens. He's a supporter of Voldemort, Harry, we all know it. No matter what bull-shitting he can pull off, no matter how many tears his mother can fake, no matter how much money his father will waste. Why should I pity him?"

"Ouch, Granger, that hurt." Draco feigned, a hand over his heart, and Hermione rolled her eyes, waiting for Harry to reply.

"Its not pity Hermione, I don't want him to hurt you or he'll get away with it again." Harry stated slowly.

Draco spoke up. "Too true, pot-head. It's nice to know you believe I can kick her pretty little ass."

Hermione was no longer angry. At least she didn't look it. No, Hermione Granger looked hurt. She turned to Harry. "Have you no faith in me?" she asked weakly before lowering her wand. Draco sneered but did the same, looking at the hurt on her face like it was Christmas, looking between the two for the next line, as if it was one of his mother's old soap operas.

Harry sighed and grabbed Hermione's arm. As he led her out of the room, Malfoy looked devastated that they decided to take it outside, and followed.

"Oh Granger, I think you and your lovebird need a few counseling classes." He sneered.

As weak as the insult was, its loud proclamation down the hallway was heard. In every direction doors opened and faces peered back at them, to see Potter and Granger standing very close together, and Draco looking absolutely enthralled. And after hearing what he said, many whispers were passed about the two Gryffindors as they hurried to stand apart.

Hermione just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Shut up, ferret."

"Ooh, that's quite a vocablirary there, Granger." Shrieked the voice of Millicent Bulstrode, but her mistake in 'vocablirary' made the insult ironic and empty.

Turning away from Malfoy, Harry and Hermione made their way back to their own compartment.

Malfoy raised his wand, and muttered something.

Suddenly Hermione noticed her legs were cooler than normal. Looking down, she saw herself in that dreadful pink thong, revealing her backside and thighs to the whole train, which promptly burst into laughter. Hermione also noticed without much enthusiasm that Harry was revealed to be in…rubber ducky boxers…interesting.

Hermione turned, in anger, to the laughing platinum blonde in front of her and returned the spell, but not before muttering another incantation before it.

"Acclaro!" and Draco's pants were nowhere to be seen, but what you saw instead were a graying pair of tighty whities.

The laughter was so much louder when you're down the Gryffindor hallway.

Comfortable with herself, Hermione walked down the hallways without pitifully trying to cover herself. As Harry walked embarrassedly in front of her, Hermione received many thanks and congrats as well as pinches on the butt for the short duel that had entertained them all so much. Ohh, that train would have a death toll if she could ever see the culprits.

Yet she reminded herself that learning a charm to transfigure Draco's boxers into briefs was not as pointless as she had thought.

When they were close to their compartment, Harry pulled into yet another compartment, naturally empty.

It was then Hermione remembered that Harry had wanted to talk to her.

Wondering what it was about, she sat across from him, doing her best to cover her legs and still look professional. She took out her wand and tried a few spells. But no matter what recovering spell she tried the horridly pink skirt did not return.

Harry, while also hoping she would find a spell to return their clothing, got a few glances at her. He was about to speak but the sight of Hermione pouting…in panties…was too much for him.

"Finite Incantem" Hermione tried for the millionth time.

She looked up to see Harry crash his mouth against hers. Although not in the mood, Hermione allowed his hands to slip around her neck, although when they moved she cleared her throat and motioned for him to sit besides her.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Harry." Hermione said, instantly changing the non-existent topic.

Harry sighed and sat across from her. Running a hand through his hair, Hermione realized she no longer felt mesmerized by that hand.

"Hermione it's about Ron."

Hermione perked up, if only slightly. She herself had been wondering what to do about the jealous red head.

Harry continued. "I don't think we can tell him."

Hermione was shocked. "You're going to hide this from him?"

Harry looked up at her for the first time. "Hide what, exactly?"

She just didn't quite understand. "Um, the fact that you happen to keep kissing me, Harry."

Harry was now the one to look confused. "Hermione it was a few kisses. It won't be anymore than that…and I don't think it will happen again." Harry looked at her with pity, which was not something she was fond of. "Hermione, I'm sorry but…"

Hermione sighed but smiled wanly. "It's not a big deal… now, if you'll excuse me…"

Hermione transfigured the thong into a pair of jeans, which meant she was riding commando, but it was better than that ridiculous thing.

Hermione didn't pay attention as Harry bid farewell and left the carriage. She didn't pay attention when the door to the compartment slid open. And she still wasn't paying attention when the blonde sneered at her.

Well, until he started talking.

"Ah, Mudblood got turned down. How surprising."

Hermione looked to him with only a blank stare, at a loss for words and expression. She was mildly amused to see that he was still in his tighty whities, even if somewhat covered by his cloak. He was almost regal enough to pull it off, almost. Malfoy's smirk faltered as he felt awkward at her blatant expression. He coughed. "I'm only here, Granger, because you pushed your trunk so unceremoniously in my compartment as you were pathetically trying to catch the train." Draco sneered at the memory. "Quite a show. Anyways, I myself am surprised I bothered to bring it to you, but I wouldn't want a filthy Mudblood contaminating my compartment, you see. Its bad enough your possessions were in there."

Hermione took the trunk, still not speaking. Malfoy coughed again, and Hermione looked up, still blank.

"Did I hear a thank you." Finally, Hermione sneered in return, coming to her senses.

Taking her wand, she transfigured his tighty whities into a rather familiar hot-pink skirt. Draco looked down, angry. Raising his wand before even a top-notch witch like Hermione could stop him, he transfigured the jeans she had transfigured her thong into instead into graying granny panties.

"It's a fitting look for you, Mud-"

Hermione's wand focused on Malfoy's legs, and a quick spell waxed the hair off his legs.

Howling and red-faced, Draco turned his wand to her again, but she dodged the spell, Hermione sent another spell at him, which seemed to give his chest…breasts.

Fuming, Draco sent a very powerful spell at Hermione as she sent a spell to Draco which gave him makeup.

However, the victory of putting Malfoy in drag was short lived. The spell that Draco sent was a revealing spell. It undid all the curses upon Hermione's body and outfit. Perhaps he was hoping to return her into the thong. Little things like the bags under her eyes returning and her cheesy, cheesy highlights disappearing but there were many other things that Hermione would never want the pureblooded wizard in front of her to see.

The first thing that was removed was the curse on her clothing. The heart on her shirt popped back up, and her granny panties returned to a thong. But then the concealers were removed.

The hiccies on Hermione's neck were back. The illusion charms on her legs, stomach and arms were removed. At long last, charms were removed from her wrist Hermione had almost- almost forgotten about.

In fourth year Hermione had been ultimately unhappy with herself. Even after the Yule Ball and her successful dates with Viktor Hermione felt empty and ugly. When Ron would yell at her Hermione would cry to no end. Back in her dormitory, when the other girls were asleep and Hermione was still crying, Hermione had cut herself. It happened many times that year. It wasn't until Viktor had made her promise not to that she had stopped. Viktor was constantly reassuring her she was beautiful, and Hermione just didn't believe him. But she knew she had to stop, it was eating him inside that he couldn't keep his girlfriend happy. Of course, being his girlfriend didn't last long. Luckily, though, Hermione hadn't been depressed when he broke up with her.

This was something in Hermione's past she had never revealed to anyone. In front of her, the young wizard was overwhelmed with what he was seeing.

Here was the Gryffindor Golden Girl in all her glory.

His eyes scanned past her body. The eyes sneered past the weight. They seemed to sharpen slightly when they saw the hiccies, and finally came to rest upon the scars upon her wrist. Kneeling beside her, Hermione tried to scramble away from him. Malfoy just stared at the many scars.

Draco's mind flashed. Visions of his own mother killing herself just as Hermione had attempted so long ago.

Draco sneered at her. "You selfish cow." He spoke to her in a deadly whisper.

This was not what Hermione had expected.

And it was not what the red-headed boy had expected to see either when he walked by the compartment. Seeing the love of your life, overweight and scared, hiccies on her neck and in a thong, laying beside your worst enemy, who happened to be in drag.

There were quite a few things Ron could've done at that moment, and for once in his life he stopped to think.

He could run in and hex Draco to oblivion. This would probably cause him to yell at Hermione, asking her what the fuck was wrong with her

He could pretend this never happened, no doubt causing himself to go insane

He could confront Hermione later

But, as luck would have it, he didn't have a choice. Malfoy came storming out of the cabin, shoving Ron to the ground. Fortunately Ron hadn't looked up or he would have noticed that Draco wasn't wearing anything beneath the skirt. Without stopping to insult him, Draco strode away from the setting rather quickly.

Hermione waited inside for Ron to yell. She stood up and covered herself with a spell which gave her a totally different outfit, which consisted of baggy jeans and a black t shirt with GIR on it.

"Hermione what the hell was that about?" Ron didn't sound mad at all, on the contrary the slight unmanly break in his voice revealed to Hermione that her dear friend was in fact quite scared.

"I don't really know Ron."

Ron continued. "But I mean, why were you in here?"

Hermione sighed. "We were hexing each other, as I'm sure you were wondering why he was wearing a skirt," Ron nodded eagerly for her to continue.

But Hermione didn't continue. She just shrugged and squinted her eyes at him as if seeing him for the first time. She might as well have. Nothing unsuspected; shaggy hair, taller, maybe a little more built. How was she to know? But she smiled at him, because being a smiling girl will get you anything.

Ron smiled back and Hermione enveloped him in a hug.

The hug stopped Ron from asking about the hiccies.