I owe complete homage to JK Rowling and the director of Count of Monte Cristo for the glory of this chapter.
Malfoy chuckled to himself. He had almost forgotten that today was Friday.
Catherine was due over around this time… or was it Cindy? Ah well, he'd find out…
Wanting to make an excellent impression, he had dressed up. He had thrown on a silk dress shirt, plus his usual, ironed attire.
He was supposed to take her on a walk around the lake, innocent enough… so for the sake of humoring her he had prepared a cloak… but in truth he never expected to leave the common room couch.
It would make it easier to laugh when he caught Hermione sitting on something he'd christened.
Hearing a knocking at his door, he figured it was her.
And early. Hmm, someone's eager.
With that cocky thought in mind, he strutted to the doorway and leaned casually against the wall before opening the door with a smirk.
But instead of the tall, tanned, skinny blonde he found himself with a rather short, fair, curvaceous brunette, who presently pushed herself upon him slightly, engaging him in a lingering, soft kiss.
Having lost all enthusiasm, Malfoy, after a moment of blank staring, turned, tossed his cloak to the side, and left the door open.
She timidly entered, something new for her.
"Draco…" She started.
He stepped further into the room, unbuttoning his robe, but only for the sake that it was getting hot.
The room, he noticed, was suddenly dark and very, very quiet. The windows to the east seemed to cause the only light, enchanted to flect strong moonlight into the room, echoing shadows and bright white light unto them all.
The furniture, so long ago looking comfy and casual, now seemed to look like dark ghosts drifting around the common room.
"What do you want, Pansy." It was not a question. It was a tired, tired statement.
"I want to be free of you, as you are so obviously free of me. Just a few questions- and I will be out of your life forever."
Draco turned to her expectantly, keeping his voice even. "Ask your questions."
Pansy sat gingerly upon a chaise. After a moment of looking around tearfully, she looked to him. "What has changed?"
Draco scoffed. "Is that your question? If you wouldn't object, I have a lot on my mind." Draco walked towards the dark end of the common room, heading towards the desks and fireplace.
"What happened?" Raising her voice, Pansy spoke strongly, through her voice still threatened to break.
"Much." His voice echoed dismally, loudly, but it was emotionless.
Indignant, Pansy allowed her voice to become slightly stubborn as she stood and headed towards him. "Why did you not come to me?!"
Furious, Draco turned on her. "And why did you not wait! You went to the very man-"
"You left me! You hurt me and left me and ultimately threw me out on the curb! It was what you did, it was cold, Draco, emotionless! I wanted…" Pansy let out a dry sob. "I wanted revenge."
Draco scoffed, sounding bitter and ironic. "Well you got it. Why turn back now?"
"I was confused, Draco! I thought you were dead! I only… I only thought that if I could tell myself that it was best that you had died, that you had been nothing to me! And… the way things ended… I needed to pull my mind from you…"
Draco whisked his wand out of his pocket and lit a fire in the hearth. "So you could live in denial while I was out risking my life for us?"
"Draco," she tried to speak evenly but her voice rose as she grew more passionate, "when you left you made it very clear that there was no US! You told me that you never meant any of it!"
Draco did not answer her. He did not face her. Taking his wand, he magicked some Firewhiskey from his room and poured himself a glass.
Still he did not answer her.
Pansy started slowly. "I know you were having Chelsea over this afternoon." With that information, Pansy let her voice raise as she came to her point, her accusation. "Don't try to tell me that you aren't in denial! I know you miss me, and I'm sorry about what happened. You know that! You know I don't want to hurt you!"
Draco turned to her. "You just now admitted you did! Pansy I cannot believe that you expect me-"
"I did want to hurt you Draco. Much as you hurt me. It was fruitless. And it only hurt me in the end and… I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I don't think you could ever understand how much I hate hurting you. I care about you so much, your pain affects me so much. Because of that…. I could never hurt you Draco, I couldn't… only in your leave could I hope to. To hurt my image of you, to spoil it so that when I lay in bed at night, alone and awake, I won't think of you. I won't try to wish things had ended better. I wouldn't…. so I wouldn't miss you… I'm sorry. It was selfish of me to try to forget my love for you… I'm sorry…"
Draco sat upon the couch, Pansy still near pleading on her knees, Draco mumbling to himself softly. "You're only sorry because now you're the one that made the mistake."
Pansy kneeled herself before him. "Not that again, Draco… How can you still bother your mind with that? Let it go, Draco, let it go," she pleaded, trying her best to make him understand. "When… when you hurt me... It was a long time ago. Way before any of this. And you've told me so many times that you didn't mean it. So many times, and I hate to see you hurt yourself over something that is no longer causing any pain to me…"
"But how can I forgive you when I find that I myself have caused this mess by-"
Pansy ushered a finger to his lips. "Don't say it. Don't. I'm willing to let that go… but I need you to know that… Draco, I still love you. I never stopped! Let's just let this all go! I know you want it as much as I do. When I was… I just…. O Gods Draco I just wanted to forget about you…"
As Pansy near collapsed near his ankles, Draco bit his lip, looked to the stormy ceiling, and looked back down at her.
He stood and walked to the door. He opened it for her as a sign of what was meant to be, trying to make a strong statement.
Shaking, Pansy extricated herself from the floor, and, wiping her face, made her way to the door.
When she was almost through the door, Draco stopped her.
"Tell me, Pansy… If you never stopped loving me-"
"I never did, Draco I never-"
"Then how long, how long after I left for the war did you pursue Blaise Zabini?"
Pansy stopped still. She looked to Draco with sad, desperate eyes. And in a shaking voice, she responded to the question they both knew the answer to. "That isn't fair."
"Yet the fact remains that right after I left to fight alongside my father and even your father, you ran to that TRAITOR! To be comforted by the very man who tried to sell myself, my father, and your father to the goddamned Ministry!"
Draco's voice by now had risen to a hysterical level, and Pansy tried to keep her tears in duct during his speech, but she finally opened up. "I couldn't stay with my father! They would have caught me too! Blaise- Blaise offered me a way out!"
"And it was to sell everything that meant anything to the very man you 'never stopped loving! We all knew that without your word, we would never be in any imprisonment! We could have been free, Pansy, free! We could have left this stupid school and lived on our own, or with our parents, or wherever! But in the single action of going to the blasted traitor-"
"Don't talk about him like that!"
Draco grabbed her flailing wrists and twisted them tightly in his grip. "I don't believe you! You tell me you always loved me yet every action you ever composed tells me that you couldn't care less about me, about us, and about every damn thing you said today! Pansy you know damn well that that bastard- and yes he is a goddamned bastard!- only wanted you to sell us all out! I don't know what you did to make him save you, maybe you fucked his brains out-"
"Stop it! Stop it, just stop it!"
At Pansy's tearful, pleading shriek Draco did, in fact, stop. Blank, he loosened his grip as he realized that he had been wrenching her wrists. Looking down, he noticed with shock that he had left marks. "I… didn't mean to hurt you…"
Finding meaning behind his words stronger than their trivial physical pain, Pansy's eyes, desperately seeking sanctuary, looked to his. "I know Draco… I know… and… I didn't mean to either…. Please, let your vengeance go…. Let it go… you never have to speak to me again but don't live on in such an angry way."
Draco looked down in defeat and let his voice fall to a whisper. "What good will it do me to forgive?"
"We could work, Draco, we could love again… but you have to let your hate lose all importance in your life, Draco. You can't live on like this, and neither can I…" Pansy tried to compose herself as she seemed to come to a point in her speech. "That is why I came tonight… I just want… If you could never love me again, then don't hate me. Don't hate Blaise. Don't hate your father or Him or anybody… forget your hate-"
"If you ever loved me" Draco started off strong… but then diminished. "Don't-don't rob me of my hate. It's all that I have left."
"No, Draco, its not…" Pansy slipped her hand over his heart and looked deep into his eyes, eyes that had only hoped to see the floor moments before, that now saw Pansy in all her humiliation, all her pride fallen and her honest love lying there, for him to take.
She tiptoed to her full height and spoke in a soft whisper. "I could never stop loving you. Please tell me you feel the same."
But it was not a plea, nor a demand. Pansy spoke these vows to Draco and kissed his cheek before finally turning and swiftly shutting the portrait behind her without a backwards glance.
Draco stood there for a moment more, then turned away from the door and back into the common room, where the clashing patterns of the thundering rain and hail from above only formed a background for the many thoughts echoing in his mind.
…
Zeus stepped in front of him, thunder striking, lightning filling the room.
Blowing the entire room into light and sound.
Awakening the senses.
Zeus grinned.
Awakening paranoia.
His smile was not in good nature.
It was malicious-gleeful at what he had just witnessed.
"Sounds like you had quite a summer."
Awakening anger.
Draco froze. Zeus had addressed him and he had nothing to say…
"…stay out of it."
But Zeus was… different, at that moment… different than he'd ever thought of the boy.
And Draco realized that this was the first time he had confronted the boy alone.
Walking powerfully to Draco, Zeus spoke in a deadly, passionate whisper.
"It is not my business to be in your love life. It is not my business to care about what side you fought on. But, the next time a crying Pansy comes to your doorstep, you might find that turning her down… could be deadly…"
Draco looked dead level at the boy across from him.
His words did not suit him; his playful, mischievous manner did not compliment these words.
And as Draco watched, Zeus assumed that character, grinned, winked at him, before settling himself back to his room.
Deception isn't that hard to master, it is all around us.
Awakening fear.