The week somehow ran away on me, but here, finally, is the next chapter. Thanks to those who are still reading, and thanks, too, for the reviews. All authors will tell you it's nice to know there are people out there reading!

Too High a Cost
By: Mariel

-xxxxxxxxxx-

Chapter 7

Confrontation...

Bill awoke just as dawn's light began to filter down into the bottom of the gorge. The first thing his eyes rested upon when he opened them was Laura.

She slept peacefully in the slowly fading darkness, her face and body turned towards him, one smooth hand thrown out in his direction. It lay between them, only a foot or so away, and he found himself having to resist the urge to reach out and cover it with his own. He remembered the feel of her hands as they had traced lines of desire across his skin, remembered their warmth and softness, and their strength as she caressed him.

He remembered her fingers twining with his as they made love...

He remembered the pleasure of waking, warm and comfortable, with her in his arms and her hand on his chest. She had fit perfectly against him right from the beginning, her body seeking and effortlessly finding just the right place for arms and legs and head. There had been an assuredness to their positioning, an ease not usually achieved until after years of closeness. For him, it had been the telling sign that 'they' had been meant to be. It had all been too damned right not to be...

He grimaced as sadness crept into his belly. His attention turning to her untroubled features, he realised he had been terribly mistaken to think she had returned his emotion, and blind not to have seen that for her, what they shared had been a diversion, not a destination.

Still, caught off guard like this and with no one watching, he knew a part of him cared for her still - some stubborn, irrational part of him that denied what his logic told him. Instead of accepting that it was over, it insisted that he seek her out, try again, take a chance. Always lurking beneath his control, always looking for a way to escape, this part of him lay in wait for a moment of weakness.

He saw her eyelids flutter open and caught the soft green of her eyes as they focussed on him. Sharing a long, silent look with her, he felt the world slow to a halt as something warm and filled with promise stirred in the air between them. She smiled sleepily and made a slight movement with her hand towards him.

Steeling himself, he turned away resolutely. There would be no moment of weakness today.

-xxx-

Shortly after rising, Adama took Kara and Lee to the top of the escarpment to determine the risk of breaking camp and heading for the raptor. It didn't take long for him to realise they wouldn't be changing location for a while.

Barely at the lip of the gorge, they heard the unmistakable screech and hum of cylon raiders in flight.

"They've arrived," he muttered. Speaking from past experience, he told them, "They'll spend most of today doing air reconnaissance while they set up some sort of ground search grid. We're safe where we are for now. I'll take a look later to see how they're positioning themselves. Once I know that, I'll know when we can head out. It probably won't be until tomorrow."

After one last look around, the three quietly turned and began their return descent.

Once Adama had given the others the news that they'd remain where they were until at least the next day, they had spent what was left of the morning scouting out the area and settling in. Shortly before noon, they were all back at the camp site. Lee, Kara, Sharon, and Helo had quickly regained their old rapport, and conversation lobbed back and forth between the four of them easily. Adama remained content to watch and listen, quietly savouring the camaraderie he saw between them. Kara's slowly changing attitude towards Sharon pleased him; he knew and understood her reservations, but was glad that she had found a way to somehow separate, as he had, the familiar from the dangerous. He wondered what would happen to the young cylon, then stifled the regret that surged through him. It would be as it would be.

Quietly watchful, Roslin had spent her time covertly keeping an eye on Adama and pondering how to approach him. He'd kept himself separate, apparently content to let the others carry on while he watched. Kara, ever hopeful, had tried to get him engaged in their conversations, but he'd gently avoided it.

Inhaling deeply, she decided to make her move. Sitting down beside him on a large rock beside their small fire, she poked the logs with a long stick and said in a low voice, "You haven't explained what your plan is."

Keeping his eyes trained on the fire in front of him, Adama nodded. "That's right."

"You going to enlighten us anytime soon?"

He turned his head and looked at her with eyes as blue and remote as the sky above them.

"No."

She stared at him in frustration. She wanted to say he couldn't do this alone; didn't need to do this alone...and then Sharon's words came rushing back to her. He didn't trust any of them, least of all her. He would get everyone off this planet, but he would do it alone, without input from anyone.

Slowly, she nodded.

"I understand," she said softly, "and I'm sorry."

He continued to look at her. He thought of hurtful things to say because he was sure she understood nothing, but, suddenly tired, he chose to remain silent. It wasn't worth it. He knew what had to be done, and he was prepared. Let things fall as they would.

Disappointed at his lack of response, Laura considered leaving, but found she had no desire to. There was a tension between them, but beside it, along its sharp edges, there was still the familiar comfort of sharing space.

Not looking at him, she poked the fire again. It had often been like this. Partly due to their positions, partly by inclination, they'd usually ended up together, side by side and somehow apart from others. It had always felt right to have him close, had felt right to feel at home in his personal space.

Looking around their camp area, she thought of her first visit to Kobol. She remembered the feel of fresh air in her lungs and of dampness against her skin... she remembered the smell of green leaves and of wet soil...But more strongly than anything, she remembered the man now sitting beside her. She remembered his eyes when they had looked at her, remembered the relief she had felt when she'd seen that he had come to make things right. And she remembered the promise and passion she had felt when they had finally set their past actions aside and consumated their relationship on the ground of the planet of the gods...

Shutting her eyes, she let a moment of physical response slide over her. He had been gentle and passionate and she had felt free and gifted and-

She opened her eyes.

In love.

She turned to look at him, shocked by her thoughts. What was being back on this planet doing to her mind? They'd been attracted to one another, found satisfaction in one another, appreciated the other...

She turned away from him, confused, and tried to concentrate on the fire..

It wasn't long, however, before she slowly turned back to look at him. Loving him would explain so much. Consumed with an overwhelming need to somehow reach him, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Bill-"

He turned, saw the look in her eyes, and raised a hand.

"Not now," he said.

Rising stiffly, he walked away from her.

She sat and watched him go. Then, her mouth in a firm, determined line, she set down the stick she'd held on the ground beside her and rose. Her eyes firmly planted on his retreating back, she followed him into the woods.

-xxx-

The others, who had been preparing to join the two leaders by the fire, stopped and watched her follow him.

"They're not doing too well," Helo observed candidly.

Sitting down heavily on the rock his father had vacated, Lee said, "We should have made them talk before we agreed to this. Then the old man could have warned us, we'd have all been able to sort things out and-"

Helo shrugged. "Roslin's persuasive, so you fell in with her plan and asked questions later."

Lee grunted. "We weren't even smart enough to ask questions later."

Still carrying anger with her like a sword, Kara spoke. "Only because you were too pissed off at your father to think straight," she sniped.

"With good reason," he retorted sharply. Gesturing towards where his father had disappeared into the woods, he asked, "What the hell's happened to him? I don't even know who he is anymore."

His words brought an abrupt end to the conversation. No one knew who he was any more.

"Perhaps she'll find out," Sharon offered in a thoughtful tone.

Kara shook her head. "I don't want to know who he is now. I want the man I knew back."

"Here, here," Helo agreed in an undertone.

"He's there," Sharon asserted confidently.

Kara frowned. Tilting her head to one side, she asked, "What makes you so certain?"

Before Sharon could speak, Helo said, "The old man talked to Sharon a lot over the past year. We were cooped up together for a long time, remember."

Sharon nodded. "The change in him was sudden, but he never lost the desire to question the 'why' of things. The need to understand is a very integral part of him."

"So he's acting like this because...?"

A shrug of her shoulders told Lee she had no idea. "I don't know. But I do know that important parts of him haven't changed. He's put up walls and made descisions he's not sharing, but the man you all knew is still there. The question is why the walls were put up in the first place."

Her words were spoken with such calm assurance that the others could do nothing but silently stare at the spot Adama and Roslin had entered the woods.

As they did, Sharon spoke again. Her voice softly thoughtful, she said, "I told Roslin that she needed to trust him, but perhaps the problem is that he needs to trust us, and can't anymore." Her obsidian eyes looking at each one of them in turn, she continued, "The trust he had in us was important to him - it gave him a reference point, a base upon which to build his perceptions and his decisions. One way or another, we've all shown that we can't be trusted. Now that he knows that and has to live with it, how can we expect him to be the same man?" Her eyes grew somber. "Without that trust, he's lost...and so are we."

-xxx-

Laura walked softly, hoping she was going in the right direction. She hesitated, thought she heard a sound, and moved towards it. A few yards further and she spotted him. He stood, legs and hips in a familiar stance, his back to her.

She stopped and waited silently.

"What do you want?" he asked without turning around.

When she didn't reply, he finished, then turned, his hands still in the process of zipping himself up. "Well?" he asked as he stepped towards her.

"I didn't think you heard me following," she said.

He stopped. "I've developed a built-in warning system where you're concerned. It's a self-preservation thing. Helps with my peace of mind."

His words were flippantly said, but his eyes were cold.

Pausing to search for the right words, she took a tentative step towards him and quietly said, "Bill, I don't want us to do this to each other any more."

He looked at her, his face impassive.

"I wasn't aware we were doing anything to each other."

Not waiting for a response, he began walking towards the river. Laura followed a short distance behind him.

When he reached the water's edge a few moments later, he squatted down and rinsed off his hands, then splashed water onto his face. It felt good. He closed his eyes, feeling the freshness of it, enjoying the feel of its coolness slowly warming to his body temperature. Feeling Laura's presence behind him, he kept his position and silently wished she would go away.

She didn't.

"You're lying," she said to his back. "You do know what we're doing to each other, and it's not right. This isn't how it's supposed to be."

He rose and she thought she saw him wince again. He covered it quickly, though, and, tightly reining in his anger, shrugged.

"Don't let it get to you," he said cooly.

Her quick intake of breath in response to his words was audible.

They stood on the mossy bank and regarded each other. The sun was at its zenith now, and shone directly down into the gorge. It warmed the air and awakened a myriad of small, winged creatures fortunately disinterested in human blood. When the small, flying insects moved near, the high-pitched hum of their wings played a counterpoint to the roar of the cascade on their left. Blanketing all other sound, the roar and hum lay heavily around them, pressing into them almost physically.

Feeling almost dizzy, Laura stared at him wordlessly. Even with his anger so strong it was palpable, she could feel herself being drawn to him. There was a heaviness in the air that made her want to lean on him for support, and a richness of colour and a warmth of temperature that made her want to slide her hands along his chest and feel his heart beat against the palms of her hands. She took another step towards him, wanting him to reach out to her, wanting her body to sing beneath his touch, wanting to touch him in return-

She blinked at her train of thoughts. Shaking herself slightly, she resisted the urge to touch him, and blurted out, "People call you Zeus."

He continued to hold her gaze, then slowly seemed to become aware that she had spoken. Replaying what she had said in his mind, he frowned at the non sequitur.

"What?"

"Zeus. That's what people call you," she repeated. "You're their leader, the father of the fleet. The father of what's left of humanity... and the father of what humanity will become."

She frowned. That hadn't been what she'd intended to say.

Trying to get back on track, she swallowed. Ignoring the heady humming in her ears, she tried again. "This distance between us; it's wrong."

New Caprica had been wrong, and so had most of what had happened since she had rejoined the fleet. Too much of this discord between them was her fault, and she was only just beginning to understand the extent of her guilt. She'd spent so much time relying on his support that she had forgotten that she owed him hers...

United, they had presented the fleet with a balance to be reckoned with. Apart, the discord between them affected everything. The imbalance had to be corrected. She had to put things right in the way he had always put things right, and her first task was to tune herself to him, correct the wrongs she had committed - even the ones she had committed in the name of the prophecies.

The problem was, she didn't know how.

"I won't leave the planet without you," she heard her voice tell him.

She started again, not knowing where the words had come from. Her eyes blinked rapidly. She could feel her heart pounding, feel the throb of her blood coursing through her veins. Of course she wouldn't leave without him; it was why she had come...

He frowned and looked at her warily, wondering how much she had figured out.

"What you want doesn't factor into the equation," he said roughly.

"This isn't how it's supposed to be," she repeated stubbornly. "This is all wrong, Bill. I know it is. You've changed. Everything's changed. I have a right to know why."

He glared at her. "You have no rights at all." Tired of her prophesies and theories and irrational compulsions that led to people he cared about risking their lives, he moved impatiently. Refusing to acknowledge that he had heard a tremor in her voice and seen truth in her eyes, he said, "We are just two people-"

She broke into his words. "We are two people who have been connected in ways that go far beyond being 'just two people'! Neither of us can do what needs to be done for humanity without the other's help, and we're going to continue messing up, continue to sabotage the very thing we're trying to save, if we don't stop this."

His features tightened. "We have stopped. I stopped when I stepped onto this planet," he told her. "You sent Kara and Lee here, and now I'm saying this is over. This planet, your prophesies...it's all over and done with. You will return to the fleet and the journey to Earth will resume. There'll be no more looking back." He took a deep breath, then said heavily, "I'm doing what needs to be done. I'm setting everyone back on course. Humanity needs a home, Laura. Lee and Kara need to be part of that. So do Helo and Sharon."

"So do you."

She blinked again, still unsure of where her words were coming from. What she was sure of was that they struck fear in her heart.

Again, something in his eyes told her that her words had disturbed him, as well. He turned his head and looked around "You should get back to the others. I'm going to check the perimeter."

She stared at him, hating him for refusing to engage.

"This conversation isn't over."

He said nothing. Turning, he disappeared into the woods.

End
Chapter 7