Chapter 2
(Eddy and Bruce are havin a debate)
E: No Way!
B: Come on Eddy, gangsters don't wear pimpsuits. The kid's gonna know something's up.
E: Nah, he's not that bright. In fact, he's really thick-headed.
(flashback from chapter 1)
Eddy knocks Hwo out with the butt of his gun
E(looking at his now mangled gun): Noooo! That was my collector's edition Desert Eagle!
(End of flashback)
B: Tell ya what, Eddy, you wear the outfit I gotcha, and I'll save ya the trouble of taking Christie to MTV tonight.
E: Deal then.
(Eddy disappears and comes back wearing this grey, tight sleeveless shirt, low-waist three-quarter-length jeans and a pair of sneakers)
E: I look stupid wearing this!
B: Not as stupid as you look in your Capoeira outfit!
E: No, goddamit!
B:...
E: What?!
B: You actually swore Eddy! Man, the kid must be getting to ya!
E: shut up, Bruce! Don't give me that" Don't use the Lord's name in vain" sermon! That's what my Church pays King to do!
B: Whatever you say...
(that night)
E: I'm taking the boy on a tour of Chinatown!
B: Chinatown?! eddy, even you must know that you won't find any homies down there!
E: I know, but I don't fancy the mortality rate down in the ghetto! I'm willing to bet Asian gangsters are a bit tamer than their black counterparts.
B: You're the boss... lemme go get the car ready.
E: wait, you're not going with us, you're taking Christie to MTV!
B: Right...
(When Bruce leaves Eddy changes back into his pimpsuit)
Chinatown
E: Yo, listen up, Hwo, cuz I'm only sayin dis once. You wanna be a gangsta, you gotta pass our rookie test, which means you gotta try your luck in China Shit first.
H: What ya want me ta do, Mista E?
E: I got a shitload o' guns in da back. I want you to go to dat night store over dere and fuck da place up!
( Hwo takes two handguns and marches into Marshall Law's Night Store)
H: Yo, I'm gonna fuck dis place up!( tries to shoot but discovers that his weapons are actually Bebe guns)
Law:...
(Law pulls a shotgun from under the counter)
H: Oh shit!
( Eddy sitting comfortably in the car hears shots)
E: What the-
(Hwo comes tearing outof the shop,pursued by Law and his shotgun)
H: Jus' drive man!
( They barely get away)
( At Feng's Fantasy-a nightclub)
Lee Chaolan(unicorn outfit): I wanna get laid!
Asuka( wearing black haltertop,hotpants and boots and carrying a whip): ...
( she whips Lee's ass and he screams like a girl)
( Eddy and Hwo enter, thinkin to escape Law)
E(noticing Lee): Hey, I remember you; you tricked Christie into sleeping with you!
L: I didn't do nothing! She was the one who thought I was, like, Tom Cruise or something!
E: You're ass is mine!
L: No it's not! It's for the hottie beside you.
A( eyes on Hwo too): Hubba, hubba, hubba ( whips Lee again)
E: Yo, we're fuckin dis place up, for real dis time!
( They fight and all the noise attracts the owner)
Feng Wei: the hell is going on?( notices Lee's pimpsuit, identical to his own) YOU DUMB MOFFO, HOW DARE YOU COPY ME! LAW(Law enters with a batallionof Chinese gangsters wielding shotguns)
E: I should hav listened to Bruce about the suit! Aaaaargh! ( bails with H, Lee and A, closely followed by mobsters)
E: Over there!(they see a van with " West Custom" on it)
Exhibit: Yo, Eddy, hop on!
( Eddy, H, L and A jump in)
Bruce(beside Exhibit): What's with the suit again, and who r those people?
E: Long story, thanx man!
Exhibit: no problem, brother.
E: what's that noise from the back?
Ex: Oh dat's Christie; she's been causin shit in MTV so we had to haul ass. Those your friends?
E: Nah, jus' some random freaks we picked up.
A: Hubba, hubba, hubba( whips Ho)